Finals have a bad habit of getting in the way, do they not? Sorry for keeping you waiting, I hope this is a nice little treat before we crash and burn.

Enjoy and review!

She could only tell her so much.

Left out Lailo. Left out the future apocalyptic danger. Just all about Faith.

"So you're saying in my old - real - self...the me with the memories..." Faith's nose squinched up in an almost adorable way.

"You saying I'm suicidal?"

Tara couldn't help the small, sad, little smile.

"I-it's not so ph-physical as it is...s-spirit-tual. Th-there's a p-part of you that re-refuses to live." She explained.

Faith groaned loudly and threw up her hands.

"Go figure the psychopathic murderer is a suicidal maniac, too." She frowned.

"Why, though? Nobody's really explained to me why."

"I-"

"Sure, I know what I did. I know all the shit I've pulled to make all of you hate me, but why'd I do them? And why didn't anyone stop me? Why didn't anything...change?"

Why?

What a damn good question.

Tara's quiet, futile answer was this:

"I...I-I d-don't know."

Faith's cold face only got colder. Harsher.

"Course you don't. None of you do." She laughed bitterly.

"Easier to blame and condemn someone who doesn't remember anything at all, huh? It's not like any of the reasons why are gonna be remembered. None of the catalysts."

"I-I only kn-know as much as y-you do." Tara gave a half shrug.

It sufficed.

"Yea. Guess that isn't so much, huh? Just a couple of records and the words of people you hardly even recognize. I can't decide whether or not I should just lie down and let myself go or try to get to the bottom of it all."

She paused before bursting again in almost defensively,

"It's not even like they like me, either. I mean, what the fuck is the point of trying to help someone you fucking hate?"

"Th-they don't hate-"

"I know hate when I see it, T." Faith spoke with such insistence that Tara knew arguing would be pointless.

On other note, Tara felt that she could see a slight resemblance of a silver lining the moment Faith called her T. A nickname for the familiarity; perhaps it meant Faith was beginning feel more comfortable. At least around her, which was probably for the best. Tara was always too modest admit or believe the fact that she had always been the kindest. The softest. The gentlest. The sweetest.

And on a stranger note, Tara could see the characteristics of the old Faith stepping up, coming back to reclaim their place. Was that the beginning? Or did it mark the end? She wasn't sure whether or not she should rejoice or be wary. Maybe-

"There's a spell."

She looked up quickly, noting the whites of Faith's eyes.

"A s-spell?"

"To return her memories safely, without allowing her fears and darkness overcome her in her weakened state. You will need, still, to help her once the spell is complete, but at least thereafter it'll be easier to have her forgive herself."

"W-what spell?"

"Of course! Why didn't I think of that! It must've completely flown over my head..." Giles' voice trailed off as he walked off in search of another book at another table.

Willow pursed her lips.

"I don't know...are you sure it's safe?"

"Well what else do you suggest we do?" Cordelia asked sarcastically.

Ignoring it skillfully, Willow turned to the Scoobs.

"I just want to make sure we really want to do this; I mean...I just don't want Faith-"

"To come back the way she was? For bloody Christ's sake, witch, she's a human, not a defective little toy!" Spike threw up his arms in exasperation.

"I'm not saying she is, I just don't want to do this and have Lailo fuck us over!"

There was a silence that rang, and the tension shot up more than a couple notches at the sound of Willow's curse.

Angel spoke up for the whole, and his eyes told Willow the orders he was giving.

"She won't. And if she does, she's going down farther than I've ever gone."

And that was a lot.

"Faith?"

One eye opened.

Closed.

There was a smirk.

Then both opened.

"Aren't you a little young to be growing up around this kinda shit?"

Dawn plopped herself down on the chair with a humph.

"Please. You started the whole Slayer thing around my age, I don't see why I shouldn't just be able to see it all happen. Besides-" She rolled her eyes.

"Slayer as a sister? Kinda hard to miss."

Faith's eyebrows rose.

"So, you're Buffy's sister. The one that-"

"The one that doesn't really exist. Yep, that one."

"Huh."

"I know, right?"

"You always so peppy?"

"You always so cynical?"

"Wouldn't know."

"I do."

The banter was the same. The looks of mischief and the big sister-little sister troublemaking duo connection that never really was severed; it was all there. Still hiding underneath the surface of mistakes made.

God, Dawn had missed it.

"So what's your story?"

"My story?"

Faith shrugged.

"Your story, my story, our story. Whatever."

Dawn paused.

Well where was she supposed to start?

At the beginning? No. There really was no beginning. Faith had always been a doomed character from the day she stepped into the club that night. She was bound to the ideals of darkness and mystery. Trapped by the seduction of revenge and anger. Always so full of something nobody could really place, but something she could only express through that anger. Through violence and sex, but that wasn't what Dawn remembered.

What Dawn remembered was that there were other ways Faith was able to be.

Like all the times she'd let Dawn have a sip of scotch or gin or whiskey when Buffy wasn't looking.

Like when she'd take Dawn to go out for some fun times, playing pranks on people or just letting her spill.

Like that one time especially when Faith picked her up when she had an awful day at school and just took her for a long drive around the town without a single word.

Dawn never knew who's car it was, but that day she didn't care. It's not like she ever saw the car again.

Faith might've called her a brat and a squirt, but there never was a time when Dawn didn't feel cared for when it came down to Faith.

But even all those moments combined couldn't compare to all the moments when Faith didn't feel so good.

Couldn't compare to all the nights Dawn saw Faith's eyes go dark, all the times she saw the way Faith would turn and walk away because the whole world seemed to have turned its back on her.

Dawn couldn't blame Buffy for going to take Faith down.

But how could Dawn blame Faith for seeking something that would make her feel alive all the time?

"I told myself I should hate you for it, but what were you supposed to do? Buffy had to take you out, but you had to feel something to be someone, and with them...with us, you didn't feel anything but-"

"Alone." Faith finished for her softly.

Dawn's expression was sorrowful.

"Yea..."

"Fuck..."

Faith sighed.

"Sorry for leaving you behind, kid. Even if I don't remember none of it."

"It's okay, you did what you thought you had to."

Faith sighed a second time.

"Guess I must've."

Dawn stood up.

"Well that's my time." She paused before she reached the door and turned around.

"You know, I missed you. So don't disappear again, okay?"

She never felt so captured by a stare before.

Then again, Faith seemed to have that effect on many people.

"Not going anywhere, Squirt."