He stares at me for several minutes, in silence. As if he's trying to decide am I really here or not, as if this is the recurring dream he has been having for quite some time now and he's trying to separate this situation from the one in his head.
He reaches out for me and when he touches my hand, when he feels my trembling skin on his fingertips, he looks genuinely surprised. But he's quick in his reaction. His fingers wrap all the way around my wrist and he pulls me inside. Everything happens so soon and the only thing I'm aware of is the door closing with a loud thump and my pulse on the tips of his fingers. I can't see anything, the hallway is too dark - it always has been in his fathers house. But I can feel fresh air on my back and his energy at my front, pressing at my chest, harder and harder with each passing second, with each mouse-like step. And the next thing I know I'm pressed against a cold hardwood wall, his chest against mine.
I can see his slow, careful movements in the dark - he's raising his hands. He puts his palms against my face, his skin is rough and soft at the same time. I lean into his palm, thinking this is where I want to fall asleep every night, this is where I feel most at peace, most like myself.
His thumb brushes against my jaw, caressing me, but I feel like that movement was not planned or voluntary - it's a reflex. It's something he has always done to me for as long as I can remember. I can see him clearly, even before we were an item, when he was wiping the tears from my face because of the reasons I can't remember anymore, he would put his palm on my cheek and caress my jaw with his thumb. He starts leaning in, slowly, as if he's giving me plenty of time to back away if this is not what I came for, but I don't stop him and his lips finally meet mine. He kisses me softly, barely moving his lips, but resting them on top of mine. It's a feeling, it's a moment, like when you're standing on a beach and your feet are sinking into hot sand and you don't want to move from that place.
I kiss him back. I stand on my toes, pushing myself up, my back grazing the wall, and my arms go around his neck so I can cling on to him, like a monkey. Our lips start moving to the same rhythm and he pulls me closer to him. His arms go around me and detach me from the wall and I can't say I'm too sorry, even though that wall had its purposes when it comes to maintaining my balance. But I would much rather find my balance in his arms.
My fingertips are pressed against the back of his neck and as our kiss deepens my fingers start traveling up, up, up towards his hair, until they're completely buried in his halo.
He has ruined me for life, I realize. Matt was as much of a problem as every other guy after him would be and eventually I would get tired of explaining it's not their fault, it's mine. Because none of them would kiss me with the whole universe hiding behind their lips like Stefan does. He's the only one who can make me see the stars and flashbacks into the past, who can make me feel as if I'm traveling through time while standing in one place, fighting for breath. He has ruined me for all the other men out there and no one could ever compare to him.
When I kiss him, I can see my future so clearly, and it's been a long time since I could do that, because these last couple of years everything's been foggy.
He lifts me from the floor, or at least I think he does, because this feeling of being high from the ground could be one of the side affects of his kisses. I know it's real once I struggle to wrap my legs around him because of my tight skirt, but I manage it somehow. Bonnie's going to murder me if it rips.
He detaches his lips from mine and lowers them on my neck and for a moment there I want to scream. I want to scream as he carries me away from the dark.
STEFAN'S POV
I don't know why kitchen is the first room in the house I can think of, but that's where I carry her off to. Maybe because it's the closest to the hallway and I'm too impatient.
I place her on the kitchen island which is, thankfully, empty.
Before she knocked on my door I was in the garage, working on my truck. There's still grease all over my clothes. I was thinking about her while poking around the engine, thinking about the fact that if the engine exploded it wouldn't hurt me even as half as bad as her leaving did. The doorbell rang, I reached for a rag to wipe my hands and headed over to the front door. When I saw her standing there I thought my mind is playing tricks on me. I've finally gone crazy. I have a brain tumor which is making me see things. And then she spoke - I've come home.
I look down at her in a half sitting, half laying position on my kitchen island and the only thing I can think about is ripping her clothes off from her little, tight body.
I place my palm on her hip. "God, you're so hot in these clothes," stumbles right out of my mouth.
She gives me a surprised look before cocking her eyebrow at me, amused. "Am I?"
"I've thought so from the moment I first laid my eyes on you that day when we bumped into each other in front of the store," I nod, seizing her up, biting my lower lip. "You looked so classy, so neat.. like you were begging to be violated. Nothing earthly should be allowed to be that pure."
She pushes herself, like an arrow, in a straight sitting position. "Well," she looks at me from under her lashes, "Maybe I'm not from this planet."
That's for sure, she's more like an angel of sorts. My personal destroyer and savior in once. I take a step closer. I'm so close I can feel her all over me without having to touch her. "Maybe," I say as I look her in the eyes.
This time she kisses me first. She kisses differently than she did before, she kisses like she did when we were kids. Hungrily, full of anticipation.
"I'm going to strip the sky of all the stars and give them to you," I say in between kisses and it's only when I say it out loud is when I realize how cheesy it sounds. I don't know what came over me to say such a thing, I don't even remember my brain planning on saying those words.
But it's enough for her to stop kissing me. She cocks her head to the side, looking me in the eyes. "I don't need you to give me all the stars from the sky. I wouldn't know what to do with them anyway." She grins, "What I need from you is to take my clothes off."
She doesn't have to tell me twice. I take her blouse off in one swift motion. She seems genuinely surprised by my velocity, and I give her you-have-no-idea-what-you're-getting-yourself-into smirk.
She takes a step out of my playbook and yanks my shirt over my head and when she goes for my belt, I stop her tiny hands from unbuckling it. She seems taken aback when I move her hands away from me, but she figures it out when I pull down the zipper of her skirt. I help her wiggle out of that tight little thing while I admire her figure.
Is it silly to think that she's a bit more grown up now than the last time I've seen her naked? She definitely seems different, her stomach flatter, her curves more expressed, even though her tan is a few shades lighter than I'm used to seeing on her.
"What?" she asks shyly while going for my belt, slowly. The tone of her voice takes me back to when we were 17 and she would shy away from my look directed at her naked body.
She still is the same Elena I knew, in all the right edges. The ones that matter.
"Nothing," I smile at her, placing a wisp of her hair behind her ear. "I actually forgot how beautiful you are."
I don't know when was the last time he had sex. I don't know if April was the only one he slept with after I left or if there were one or two or ten other women. I wasn't his first one to begin with, and he wasn't mine, so it really doesn't matter because I'm planning on being his last, and vice versa. He doesn't ask me about my sex life and I don't ask him about his partly because neither of us wants to know, partly because we don't care. Maybe it comes up once, in a week or a month or a year from now, and if it does, I'm going to be completely honest with him. And I know that he's going to be honest with me. No more lies. Ever.
I don't know how to explain how making love to him was. I don't know the right words to paint the picture clearly. I know Bonnie is going to ask about it and I honestly don't know what I'll tell her. I could talk about our bodies colliding, or about how sweaty and slippery our skin was. How his kisses are now burned into my skin and my moans into his brain. I could tell her about the current coursing through my body every time his fingertips would land one certain spots of my skin, or the heatwave afterwards.
But it's so much more than that. It was like being one with him. Like we morphed into one person. Like our souls came together, ripping through space and time, breaking several laws of physics and creating an explosion. A Big Bang of our own.
But if I said that out loud, I would sound like a cheesy teen drama romance. Something you can find in every book about star crossed lovers. About lovers who are meant to be because they're made from the particles left after the destruction of the same star.
But I guess that's what life is, what love is. I guess the movies got it right and the only people who are against it are the ones who are yet not familiar with the feeling.
Your love life is one big angst ridden drama romance, no matter if you're 17 or 30.
STEFAN'S POV
I don't know how, but several hours later we end up on the living room floor. I know it's been hours because when she came here the sun was high in the sky, and now it's setting down. She's lying on top of me, her head resting on my chest, her hair sprawled all around her. I'm pulling my fingertips up and down her bare back.
"What made you change your mind?" I finally ask.
She turns her head around, pointing her chin at my chest. "I don't think I changed my mind. That implies that there was something to be changed, a choice to be made. There never was. The plan was always to come back home to you, it just took me time to admit it to myself. The day we left Darling was the day I broke things off with Matt," she say.
"I can't believe your mom hasn't told me anything." I feel offended.
She laughs that beautiful laugh of hers. "I can't believe Caroline hasn't told you anything."
"Caroline knew?" That takes me by surprise.
"Yeah. I kept in touch with her. She said she doesn't want to get in the middle of this."
I nod. I guess I understand that, since I wouldn't want to be in the middle of this messed up situation either.
"So, where do we go from here?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, my life is here, yours is back in New York."
"Stefan," she exhales my name, looking me in the eyes. "I don't think you understand. I've come home. My life is wherever you are."
"But Elena, you've worked so hard to be where you are now."
"Yeah, and I'm not planning on giving it all up. I've talked to my boss. As a columnist, I don't really have to be in New York all the time. I mean, I'll have to fly over there once or twice a month, and some other places few times a year, but I don't have to live in New York."
"Oh," I say, kinda relieved. Everything is falling into place, like a carefully crafted puzzle. "Or.." I look her in the eyes, searching for her hand to intertwine her fingers with mine. "We could both move to New York."
"Stefan, no," she says determined. She has gotten bossy. I kinda dig it. "Your work is here."
"I could sign a deal," I argue. "I could branch out and establish my headquarters in New York."
"And go against everything you believe in? Everything you've worked for? Stefan, you gotta stop making sacrifices for me. You gotta stop putting me before yourself," she says in her thick accent, which makes me smile.
"Well, that's kinda impossible."
"Well, it has to stop being impossible. We're a team, and if there are sacrifices to be made, then they are going to be made for the sake of the team, not for just one member."
I look at her. God, she has gotten more amazing than she has been before, if that's even possible.
"You're the boss," I smile. "But wait, this means we gotta get married again, right?" I frown, trying to fully comprehend our situation.
"Well, no."
"What do you mean no? I signed those damn papers."
"Yeah, but I never did. Nor did I turn them in. We're still officially married."
"Hmm, I still feel like we gotta do something," I say. We should have a new beginning. A clean slate. "We could renew our vows."
Her eyes beam up. "Yes," she gives me a peck on the lips. "We could renew our vows."