Hello? Long time no see? I know what you're thinking, it's been way too long and it's reaching the point of insane. I counter that complaint with this (almost) 9,000 word chapter and the sheepish apologies of someone that doesn't have any really good excuses. There are three chapters left after this one and so hopefully they'll be up soon? I'm not totally sure at this point, but I'll just let the story kind of take it from here...
One week later:
"Maybe if we never get up. I'll never have to leave."
Alec looked at Magnus, his eyes still cloudy from sleep and his hair mussed. "Sounds like a pretty solid plan to me." When Magnus didn't say anything else, Alec sighed. "At least you don't leave until tomorrow."
Tomorrow. When Magnus was a kid, he tried to argue his way out of cleaning his room by arguing that tomorrow never came. That it was always quixotically dancing out of the way and every time you thought you caught, it became today. But now, tomorrow was a terrible looming force that wouldn't let Magnus go. It was always lurking in the corner of his eye, one more day closer to home. One more day further from Alec.
"What are you thinking about?" Alec asked, reached up and cupping Magnus' cheek. His palm was rough and warm, his fingertips smooth as they stroked the tops of Magnus' cheekbone.
"Nothing."
"That's not true."
"Yeah," Magnus admitted, both delighted and pained by how well Alec knew him. "But I don't want to think about anything sad. I want to enjoy my last day here."
"Sounds good to me."
"I don't know how I'm going to go back," Magnus said softly. Alec shuffled a little closer, so that Magnus could tuck his head below Alec's chin. Even though Magnus was the tiniest bit taller, he was always the one who leaned his head on Alec's shoulder. Magnus' head fit perfectly there like they were meant to be together. It was times like this when Magnus wondered if maybe they were supposed to be together, if there was some magical force pulling them together like magnets.
"Home?"
Magnus nodded, though Alec probably felt it more than he saw it. "How on Earth am I going to go back to a life without someone who is willing to shower me with tiny little compliments every day?" His tone was teasing, but the thought was serious. Magnus had this ridiculous feeling that he wasn't even sure what life was like before Alec. And to think of all those years he'd taunted the people in books and movies whose lives had become nothing more than the boy they loved.
"God knows how you'll survive," Alec laughed, curling an arm around Magnus' waist.
"Close your eyes," Alec smacked Magnus on the shoulder. "You're not allowed to peek."
Magnus let out a long and dramatic sigh, but put one hand over his eyes and let Alec guide him into the kitchen. After another hour of lying around and drinking each other in, Alec had looked at the clock and told Magnus to get ready. There was a surprise in the kitchen that apparently Magnus wasn't allowed to see. Magnus decided that he would pretend he wasn't excited - but he ultimately failed."What on Earth is going on? Is there cake?"
"Why would there be cake?"
"Isabelle!"
Stifling a laugh, Magnus reached out with his free hand and patted Alec's hand. "There, there darling. She didn't really ruin the surprise. I mean she does live here."
"He has a point."
"Simon!"
"Oops," Simon mumbled, though it was barely heard over the sound of Magnus and Isabelle laughing. There was a high pitched giggle that Magnus assumed was Clary, which meant that Jace was probably hiding in the kitchen as well, the pinnacle of maturity, refusing to laugh with the rest of them.
"Ugh," Alec groaned, "whatever, open your eyes."
Magnus did, blinking at the sudden change in lighting. It was still midmorning and the kitchen was full of light, spilling through the windows and catching on the drying dishes by the sink. Isabelle was there, leaning slightly on a grinning Simon. They curled in on each other slightly, subconsciously wanting to be closer. Magnus doubted they'd even noticed they'd stood that way. Jace and Clary were being cute as well, making something in Magnus twinge knowing that his time with Alec was slowly running out. Jace was standing behind Clary, his arms wrapped around her waist.
Max was sitting on the counter, halfway through a glass of lemonade and looking fidgety as always. His fingers drew patterns in the condensation on the glass. Magnus thought they looked almost like letters, but he erased them as fast as he drew them and Magnus couldn't make out what they said.
But the most important thing in the room wasn't a person at all, it was the giant canvas they'd done at Clary's house. It was an explosion of colour, bits of orange and purple and green. There were lines of blue and dots of yellow. It was bright and wonderful, but at the same time it made Magnus sad. It was a reminder of everything that Texas was, a vibrant hum of colours and laughter. It reminded Magnus that he was leaving, the town he'd come to love and the friends that lived there.
And at the bottom, each of those friends had scrawled their name.
Clary held out a Sharpie to him.
"You're the only one missing," She said softly. He really was, Isabelle's loopy writing was followed by Max's messy scrawl. Jace and Alec's names almost overlapped and Magnus could imagine them elbowing each other out of the way as they wrote.
Swallowing what was sure to be a bunch of tears and a sappy declaration of love for them all, Magnus stepped forward and took the pen from Clary. And there in the corner, he added his own spidery hand writing.
Alec seemed to sense that Magnus was getting helplessly sad, so he walked over and hugged Magnus from behind, his head falling on Magnus' shoulder. Magnus leaned into him and gave Clary a shaky smile. "It looks amazing."
She smiled back at him, though her eyes were still painfully sad.
"I can't believe you're goin' home," Clary mumbled. "Tomorrow. I just-"
"It doesn't feel like it," Magnus said, raking his fingers through his hair. "Feels like I just got here."
It did. It was this weird combination of the thought that Magnus had only been there a heartbeat and also that he'd been there for so long he couldn't remember anything else. The smell of New York city in the rain and the sound of the raindrops running down his window were these distant memories, faded at the edges and drained of colour like an old movie. This tiny little town was fresh, its colours vivid and its picture crisp and clear.
"Well," Jace said, clapping his hands. The sharp noise dragged Magnus out of his funk. "Everyone go and get changed."
"Why?"
"We're going to go into town" Jace answered. Magnus seemed to be the only person who didn't know about this plan. The rest of them just nodded and started talking about driving and bringing things. Maryse and Robert were nowhere to be seen, Magnus noticed. There was no sign of Maryse's car in the driveway and the door to Robert's study was ajar, showing an empty desk. Isabelle was asking Clary what she was going to be wearing and Magnus couldn't help but laugh at the look on Isabelle's face when Clary said that she was just going to go as she was.
Alec dragged Magnus back upstairs, the two of them chattering mindlessly while Magnus picked out something to wear and Alec threw on the first thing he found that wasn't dirty. Magnus would miss this, almost more than anything. The way that he and Alec fit together, even though they had so little in common they could talk about anything, whether they agreed or not. Which when it came to talking to the Star Wars movies apparently they did not.
"I can't believe you don't like them," Alec said from where he was stretched out on Magnus' bed. He was flipping through one of Magnus' many fashion books. Magnus thought it was funny that Alec did this, mostly because he knew that Alec didn't care. But he pretended to for Magnus' sake.
"I can't believe you like them," Magnus said, holding a shirt up to his torso and making a face in the mirror. "They're just so tacky."
Alec put the book down, his face nothing short of offended. Magnus thought he looked almost scandalized. "What did you just say?"
"I said-"
"Simon!"
Magnus watched his boyfriend run out of the room, nothing more than a blur. He was yelling Simon's name at the top of his lungs, sounding more like the house was burning down than he'd found out that Magnus didn't like Star Wars. Magnus wondered what Alec would say if he told him that he'd fallen asleep in the middle of one. Camille secretly thought they were amazing - Magnus was sworn to secrecy - and when they'd watched them together, Magnus had gotten so bored he thought he was going to die.
"Simon!" Alec was still somewhere in the hallway yelling. Magnus tugged a shirt over his head just as Alec yelled something far less polite. He was a blur again as he ran back into their room, cussing over and over.
"What?"
The look on Alec's face was priceless. If he wasn't scandalized before, he was now.
"What?" Magnus repeated.
"I just, um," Alec's eyes were wide and he couldn't seem to find the words to tell Magnus whatever he was trying to say. With a dramatic sigh, Magnus stuck his head out the doorway.
"Simon!" Magnus barked. "How did you break my boyfriend? What did you do?"
"Nothing!"
"Lies!" Jace yelled back.
"Stay out of this Blondie!" Magnus hollered, though he couldn't keep the smile off his face. "We're trying to have a personal conversation!" He heard Jace snort, but he didn't bother to respond to Magnus.
"I swear," Simon continued, "it's not my fault!"
At this Alec shook his head vigoriously. "He's a monster," Alec said with so much certainity that Magnus had to stifle a laugh.
"Simon," Magnus said, doing his best to sound stern, "what have you done?"
"It's nothing," Isabelle huffed, "Alec's being a drama queen."
"Does anyone want to tell me what's happening?" Magnus sighed, looking back and forth from Alec's open mouth to Isabelle's eye roll.
"We were just making out," Isabelle said offhandedly. Magnus didn't fail to notice how Simon blushed fiercely, threatening to give Alec a run for his money.
"You were in my bedroom!" Alec yelled, having regained the power of speach, throwing his hands in the air.
"Well yeah," Isabelle rolled her eyes again, "my bed is covered in clothes and you're basically living with Magnus anyways." Her words didn't seem to calm Alec at all. Alec continued to splutter, giving Isabelle a look of horror.
"So your logic was 'I'll just use Alec's room'?!"
"Pretty much," Isabelle shrugged.
Alec turned to Simon, clearly looking for some sign that he wasn't on board with this whole thing, but Simon just gave Alec a helpless look. He made a futle attempt to make his hair less messy. Magnus thought he looked apologetic, but Alec seemed to see this as betrayal.
"Simon?" Alec prompted.
"Sorry?"
Alec threw his arms in the air. "For the love of God! Straight people!"
"Do we need to talk about the laundry room?"
"What?" Alec blinked at her before turning to Magnus. "Do we need to talk about the laundry room?"
Magnus played innocent, batting his eyelashes and grinning. "I don't know what you're talking about sweetheart."
"You told her?"
"Yeah." There was a brief pause, because the answer didn't come from Isabelle or Magnus, but from Simon. Now looking even more sheepish, Simon peeked at Alec from underneath his bangs. "Uh, Isabelle might have told me?"
"What?" Alec was flushed now, there was a dusting of pink starting to appear on his ears that matched the red on his cheeks. "Isabelle did what?" There was another accusitory glare thrown at Isabelle, but Magnus couldn't help it and he started laughing. Isabelle joined in a bit, biting back her giggles and clenching her fists. Simon laughed more nervously - which was probably because there was still a high chance that Alec was going to throttle him for defiling his sister on his bed.
"Maybe you two should go," Magnus managed between laughs, pushing Isabelle towards the door and warning Simon to keep his hands to himself. He closed the door on Simon's protests and Isabelle's hyena-like laughter.
Alec launched himself onto Magnus' bed, narrowly avoiding hitting his head on the fashion book he'd left laid out. He closed his eyes and threw his arm over his eyes dramatically. Lying like that, it was almost possible to believe that he was Jace and Isabelle's brother. "I can't believe you told them," he muttered, not sounding angry, just exasperated.
"I couldn't help it," Magnus insisted, walking over and climbing up Alec so that he was sitting perfectly on his chest. "It was just really," Magnus let his voice lower to a whisper, "really hot." He leaned over Alec so that his breath ghosted over Alec's lips. Alec didn't seem to want to be teased and leaned up, letting their lips brush.
Magnus couldn't help but moan, pulling Alec to him with a little more urgency. Alec rolled his hands over Magnus' shoulders, letting his fingers slip below the collar. One of Magnus' hands drifted to its favorite spot, the nape of Alec's neck, where he curled wisps of Alec's hair around his fingers. Magnus, feeling more than a little impatient, began to reach for the bottom of Alec's shirt. Alec caught his hand part way there and pulled away, sporting a smile that was bordering on a smirk.
"I literally just got you dressed, there's no way either of us is losing clothing at this point," Alec breathed. His breath was ragged and Magnus ran his hand down from Alec's neck to his chest, where he could feel Alec's heart racing. It was comforting to know that he had the same effect on Alec that Alec had on him. There were times when Magnus swore that his heart was going to beat right out of his chest. Times he swore that the very sight of Alec smiling at him would be fatal.
"But I don't want you to continue wearing this shirt," Magnus argued, fighting to keep the grin on Alec's face from spreading onto his own. It was dangerously contagious. "I want to get you out of this shirt."
"Magnus—"
"My job as your boyfriend is basically to hold your hand and remove your clothes. I mean you could ask Isabelle if you wanted, she and Simon—"
"Oh god," Alec groaned, throwing himself back on the bed. Magnus was still sitting upright on his lap and he laughed. "Don't remind me, that's going to scar me for life."
"Are you going to have to wash the sheets now?"
"I'm going to have to burn them."
"Naturally," Magnus said, getting off Alec's lap and reaching his hand out to help his boyfriend up. When they were both on their feet, Alec started to collect the things that he knew that Magnus couldn't leave without and pass them to him. "Am I allowed to know why we're going into town?" Magnus asked, quirking an eyebrow and accepting his phone from Alec without pause.
"Nope," Alec grinned, "it's another surprise."
"Something exciting?"
A slight pause. "Not really," Alec admitted, "but we did think that it would be fun to be in town one more time before you leave."
Magnus smiled at him, before grabbing his hand again and moving to leave the room. Alec linked their fingers together as they walked down the stairs, Magnus' camera in his other hand and Alec's thumb ghosting over Magnus' wrist. Magnus saw, out of the corner of his eye, Isabelle slipping out of Alec's room. She caught Magnus' glance and winked at him. Clary and Jace were already waiting in the front hallway. Jace was twirling a loose strand of Clary's hair around his finger and they were laughing,
It was hard to remember that he had to leave them.
Hard to imagine that he could.
The one thing that Magnus could have sworn he wasn't going to miss was the drive to town. It was beyond annoying for Magnus, who had spent most of his life within spitting distance of stores, to have to spend ages sitting in the car driving past seemingly infinite fields.
But that day he felt like he did. Alec, with one hand on the wheel, hair blowing in the wind. Nothing between them but soft country music and warm air. There was something to be said about being relaxed and calm, having nothing important to do or say and it just being the two of them. In New York, there were always things to gossip about, other people on the subway, noise covering it all like a blanket. Jace pulling into the other lane and racing them in Maryse's car, whooping and teasing them. Alec honking and telling Jace to stop messing around.
They pulled into a parking spot in front of the barber shop, Alec jumping out of the car and walking to the other side to open the door for Magnus. Magnus grinned at him and pressed a kiss to his cheek, light as a feather. Jace was driving Maryse's
"What are we going to do?" Magnus asked, looking up and down the small stretch of stores. "Is there a plan? I really want—"
"We're going to eat first," Jace interupted, "because I'm so hungry that if I don't get some food, I'm probably going to end up eating one of you."
"Lovely," Isabelle mumbled, linked her arm through Simon's. Magnus noticed and raised an eyebrow at Simon, who flushed again, but smiled.
"C'mon," Alec said, taking Magnus' hand and linking their fingers again. Jace and Clary rushed to go after Isabelle and Simon, but Magnus and Alec took their time. Magnus found himself almost leaning into Alec and felt Alec doing the same, letting their shoulder's brush. "What are you most looking forward to about going home?"
"Nothing."
"Magnus, you must be lookin' forward to something," Alec drawled, swinging their arms a little bit and giving Magnus a bittersweet smile. "Going home and seeing Camille?"
"I guess," Magnus sighed, "I just can't imagine wanting anything more than I want to stay right now. It's making me all gloomy and moody inside. Like my body is furious with me that I'm trying to leave."
Alec opened his mouth to say something, but when they looked up, they were at the diner. His face split into a grin and still wearing the almost impish smile, he opened the door for Magnus, gesturing for his boyfriend to walk inside.
"Surprise!" Maia yelled, throwing her arms up. Magnus stood there, gaping. Aline and Helen were there, scattered between what looked like everyone that Magnus had gotten the chance to meet when he was in town. Even Madeleine was standing in the corner, looking uncomfortable but there all the same. Jocelyn stood near her, Luke's arm around her waist and her rainbow party cup hoisted in the air. The ring on her finger winked when it caught the light.
"Oh my god!" Magnus said. Alec seemed to sense that Magnus' knees were on the verge of giving out and he gripped Magnus' arm just above his elbow. "I-"
"I can't believe you didn't figure out," Jace mused, sounding almost thoughtful. "I mean, we weren't very sneaky."
"We got away with it because Alec was on 'distract Magnus' duty."
Magnus whipped around to look at his boyfriend, who just smiled and kissed Magnus' nose. "It totally fooled you didn't it."
"Is this why you basically followed me around this past week?"
"Maybe?"
"Good lord."
"I think he did a great job," Simon offered, though Alec didn't seem to have recovered from the morning's shock and gave Simon a look of annoyance. Simon began to slink away, but Isabelle put a hand on his shoulder and met Alec's gaze with an eyeroll.
"So," Magnus put a hand on Alec's chest, pushing him away slightly, "when you said that there wasn't going to be anything that exciting in town, you were just a goddamned liar."
"Maybe," Alec repeated, smiling at Magnus in the way that made Magnus' heart stutter. "I couldn't spoil the surprise. It was worth it just to see the look on your face." One of his hands brushed the edge of Magnus' smile.
"Yeah, yeah," Jace sighed, "you're so cute I'm goin' to die." He rolled his eyes, but there was something in his tone that was almost sad as well. Magnus wondered if Jace was as upset with him as Isabelle was. He was going to walk away with their brother's heart, whether it was broken or not. If he was, he was good at hiding it.
The moment after they'd arrived soon disapated into the rest of the party. Isabelle and Simon disappeared, Clary and Jace joined some silly game that was being played in the corner, and Magnus and Alec made their way through so that Magnus could talk to each guest. It was mostly adults, a few who gave their joined hands dirty looks and a few who regarded them with gentle eyes. Alec stayed calm, though his grim on Magnus tightened slightly when they encountered the former.
"I don't know how much more of this I can take," Alec admitted, glancing back over his shoulder at the elderly couple that had told them there was still time for salvation. Magnus wasn't entirely sure why they'd come — if only to preach — because they didn't seem to know anyone else at the party, Magnus included.
"There's the face I've been wanting to see," Helen said, grinning widely. She was sitting on a clear portion of the drinks table, while Aline leaned next to her, tapping away on her phone. "Aline is trying to explain to my brothers how to fix the vase they just broke," she explained. Her grin grew impossibly larger.
Alec snorted, "speaking as someone who has been on both sides of that situation — both breaking the vase and trying to tell someone how to fix it — it's never going to work."
"You never know," Helen shrugged, "I have faith."
"But you're letting Aline tell them what to do?" Alec raised an eyebrow. "I know you, that means you think this won't work."
"Judge me all you like, but they're going to be far faster to forgive Aline than they are me."
"I want siblings," Magnus pouted.
"You can have mine," Alec and Helen said in complete unison. They burst out laughing and Aline's shoulder's shook as she attempted to stiffle her laughter and text the other Blackthorns.
"I'm telling them to abandon all hope and just come to the party," Aline told them, shaking her head. "I asked Tavy what the state of the vase was and his response was dust."
"Amazing," Magnus snorted, reaching over and pouring himself a glass of juice. He took one sip and almost spat it out. "Well," he said with a snicker, "that's definitely been spiked."
"Normally wouldn't that be your job?"
Magnus turned around to see Raphael, looking much like he always did — if a little bit more tanned — and surprisingly relaxed. It was such a contrast from the person who he was back home that Magnus still struggled to full understand that they were the same person. Lily was just a pace behind him, over his shoulder. She gave Alec a lazy smile, which he returned, more openly than the first time they met.
"Haven't you heard?" Magnus quipped. "I'm flying the straight and narrow."
"Not that straight," Raphael mumbled and Magnus laughed.
Lily was whispering something to Alec, who shook his head but smiled. "She's somewhere over there. You're safe."
"Safe?" Aline raised an eyebrow.
"I've heard that Isabelle's out for my blood," Lily shrugged, "and I'm not going to take the chance that it's true."
"What did you do?"
Lily glared at Magnus. "I didn't do anything. Not really." Alec gave her a look and Lily shrugged. "There was a brief incident with a Simon at a party, but it was months ago and we both agreed that it was super awkward and terrible. But apparently Isabelle just found out—"
"She's gunna kill you."
"Pardon?" Lily looked at Alec affronted.
"We tend to be terrible, possesive bastards, so I'm willing to bet that Isabelle's fuming." Alec curled an arm around Magnus' waist and pulled him close, pushing his nose into Magnus' hair. Magnus laughed and shook his head, smacking his boyfriend on the shoulder gently.
"Stop it," he said, "Isabelle isn't going to be that mad." Magnus wasn't entirely sure that was true, but he didn't think that there was any point in creating unnecessary drama.
"I can't believe you're leaving," Lily shook her head, the moment's previous worries gone from her face, "it feels like you're one of us now."
"Doesn't it?" Helen insisted, nodding.
Magnus could feel his cheeks heating up, but didn't say anything. It was Raphael that spoke next.
"No," Raphael said softly, "maybe you guys can't notice it, but I can."
"What?" Magnus asked, looking at the younger boy in surprise.
Raphael shrugged, "it's hard to explain. It's like there's a little bit of New York stuck in your eyelashes. There's something very city about you and I know it. None of them have been to big cities, they don't see it, but I can see Times Square shining back in your eyes."
"Times Square is for tourists," Magnus scoffed.
Alec was strangely quiet and Magnus reached over to squeeze his hand, just wanting to make sure that he was alright. Alec squeezed Magnus' hand back, but Magnus could feel that something wasn't quite right. He wanted to ask, but was a little thrown but the thought of Raphael knowing Magnus like he did.
Magnus often felt like the person that he was in the city was impossible. He was a strange combination of closed off and broken, and open and brilliant. He'd never thought that maybe that strange combination clung to him when he wandered away from New York.
"What's New York like?" Helen asked, leaning over to pluck a twizzler off of one of the snack tables. "Is it as fun as it looks on TV?"
"Smells kind of like piss," Magnus admitted and Raphael laughed, nodding. Alec wrinkled his nose and Magnus started to giggle, bopping Alec on the nose gently. "But it's amazing."
"Imagine Magnus as a city and that's very New York," Raphael paused, "well, it is to me. I think that it's different for everyone."
"Isn't everything?" Alec asked. But he was smiling and didn't look at Raphael, his eyes fixed firmly on Magnus. There was something in his gaze that was adoring and Magnus didn't ever want him to look away. The conversation drifted a little, their friends all starting to talk about different things all at the same time. Magnus and Alec didn't talk about anything, Magnus just leaned into Alec's chest and let his head fit perfectly into Alec's shoulder. And they stood there, watching their friends talk and just soaking each other in. Magnus imagined for a moment that this was a different party, one where he and Alec were graduating, or getting engaged, or married. He imagined that this was a happy party where everyone was coming up to say hello and not goodbye. With each passing person telling him that it was a pleasure to meet him and he was going to be greatly missed, Magnus couldn't help the pang of wondering if he shouldn't leave at all.
"What are you thinking about?" Alec mumbled in his ear.
Magnus could feel a smile pulling at his lips. "You."
Alec hummed, "are you really though?"
"Pretty much all the time. I don't have the ability to think about more than one thing at a time and you're very, very distracting." With ever word, Magnus inched closer and closer until their noses were brushing. Alec just huffed a little and pressed their lips together. Magnus was beginning to think that he didn't know the meaning of the word kiss before he met Alec. There was something so wonderful and emotional about kissing Alec. Magnus felt the need to go to ever dictionary he'd ever seen and fix the definition of kissing. Because whatever it was, if the person writing it hadn't been kissed like that — like they were the last star in the sky or the last water on Earth — if they hadn't been cherished like that like a boy like that, then they could never know the meaning of the word.
"I swear you two are literally always kissing."
Magnus reached an arm out to drive Jace away, wanting to just stay with Alec forever. But Alec pulled away, keeping Magnus tucked into his chest but looking at Jace with a smirk.
"Jealous?"
"Obviously," Jace rolled his eyes, "all I've wanted all summer is to make out with Magnus. Can't you tell?"
"I knew it," Magnus said.
"I feel like we haven't even gotten to see you," Clary said, pouting and coming up to stand next to Jace. "Like what the hell happened?"
"You vanished," Alec told her, shaking his head. "Not even slightly our fault."
"Well," Clary rolled her eyes, "c'mon lovebirds. I'm tryin' to convince Jace to play tag on the playground with me." She dragged Jace away by the arm and Magnus and Alec looked at each other and shrugged, following.
And so Magnus and Alec found themselves back on the swings. It was still the peak of the day, the sun high in the sky beating down on the ground relentlessly. Jace, Clary, Simon and Isabelle were bounding around the rest of the playground screaming and yelling. Aline and Helen were watching, but Isabelle seemed to be trying to physically drag Aline away from the bench where they were sitting.
"Do you remember being here last time?" Magnus asked suddenly, looking over at Alec. He could picture the way that Alec had looked that night, caught in the blue night glow. But there was an openness on his face that there hadn't been then. There was an ease, like there had been a knot in Alec that was untied now and he could relax.
"Yeah."
"Why did you kiss me?"
"Pardon?" Alec raised an eyebrow. It was very Magnus and Magnus couldn't help but giggle. "You're the one who kissed me."
"Lies," Magnus said, shaking his head. "You leaned in first."
"If anything we both leaned in at the same time."
Magnus hummed. "It's funny," he said, tapping one finger on his chin, "but that sounds an awful lot like something that you would say if you knew that you were the one who leaned in first."
"But I wasn't," Alec groaned, rolling his eyes. But he smiled and Magnus couldn't help but smile back. He forced his swing to the side to bump their knees together. "I'm sorry," Alec said suddenly. He looked at Magnus, looking so guilty that Magnus immediately felt himself worry. It was some kind of knee jerk reaction, like any time that Alec was upset he instantly wanted to make it better, he was instantly ready to make it better. That scared Magnus a little, but there were a lot of things that Alec did that scared Magnus. There were a lot of things about Alec and the way that he made Magnus feel that was new.
"What on Earth are you sorry for?" Magnus asked, keeping his voice soft.
Alec shrugged, but he wouldn't meet Magnus' eyes. He looked away and focussed on the ground. "Running away and all that."
"Whoa," Magnus got off of his swing, moving to stand in front of Alec, crouched so that his boyfriend was almost forced to meet his gaze. "That's not something you need to be sorry for. I understand. I don't know if I did then, but I sure as hell do now."
Magnus' boyfriend was silent for a moment. Magnus put a hand under his chin so that he would hold the eye contact. "I love you," Alec said softly, "I'm not scared anymore."
"I love you too," Magnus grinned. "Shall we head home?" He asked, standing slowly and holding a hand out to Alec, who took it and got up off his swing. He told the others that they were leaving and there was a little debate about who would drive. Alec quickly won the right to drive his own car home. In a rock paper scissors match — possibly the most intense one that Magnus had ever seen — Isabelle was given the glory of driving the other car home and Jace was condemned to riding home with Magnus and Alec.
"Why is that a punishment?" Alec asked, giving his sister a funny look.
Isabelle rolled her eyes. "Sitting through the two of you holding hands on the gear shift and Magnus making gooey eyes at you? That—"
"Is probably going to make me throw up," Jace lamented, sighing loudly. "I can't believe that I'm being forced—"
"You lost," Clary told him, smiling angelically and brushing invisible lint off her jeans, "you have to ride with them."
With Jace grumbling the entire way, they trekked back to the cars. Knowing that he was going to get very little action with Jace in the car, even cute little whispers from Alec, Magnus vowed to whisk Alec away for unspeakable naughtiness when they got home. He sat close to Alec in the truck, closer than necessary — also closer than his seatbelt would allow, but Magnus wasn't really concerned about safety.
"Can you stop?" Jace asked, his voice bitter.
Magnus looked away from Alec, peering over his shoulder at Jace, who was hunched over in the bed of the truck giving them a nasty look. "What ever do you mean?" He shot back, covering Alec's hand on the gear shift with his own.
Jace groaned. "When we get home," he said, "I'm going to cockblock you for hours. I'm just going to hang around so that you guys have no time to yourselves and nothing can stop me."
Unfortunately, he wasn't kidding.
"Go away Jace." Alec groaned.
"No."
Jace seemed to be intent on sitting on the other side of Magnus' door — they'd closed it in his face, but he'd just plopped down on the floor and started to hum — as though that would keep them from making out. Boy, was he wrong. Alec got a sudden mischievous look on his face - Magnus resisted the urge to swoon because it made him look hot as hell. He, however, did swoon when Alec then latched on to Magnus' neck, biting just above Magnus' collarbone and pulling a moan out of him.
"Ew." Jace banged on the door. "You're not allowed to have sex while I'm sitting here. That's against the rules."
"There are rules?" Magnus asked, another little groan slipping from his lips as Alec continued to suck at his neck and rub circles into his hips.
Magnus bit back a giggle, slipping his hands up Alec's t-shirt. "I'm madly in love with you." He said breathlessly, wrapping his hands around Alec's hips under his shirt and pulling him in for a kiss.
"And I you." Alec mumbled, his hands coming up to run through Magnus' hair. His breath hitched when Magnus's fingers dug into his hips and Magnus' shoulders banged against the door behind him.
"This is really traumatizing."
"Are you really still there?" Alec asked, kissing Magnus between each word. He let out a low growl and pulled away for a moment to rid Magnus of his shirt. There was a pause, a moment where Alec almost hesitated and he kind of just looked at Magnus. Magnus knew that he must have looked like a mess, hair askew and pupils blown out, but there was an adoration in Alec's eyes that made him feel beautiful. There was a look in Alec's eyes that made him feel loved.
"You okay?" Magnus asked, partially teasing but also serious. He whispered, knowing that Alec wouldn't want Jace to worry.
Alec ran his fingers across Magnus' ribs, causing Magnus to shudder. "I'm okay," he whispered back, "I just want to remember."
"Remember what?"
"Everything." Alec's sincerity was almost painful and Magnus heard Jace get up outside the door and walk away. There were so many things about that boy that Magnus found irritating, but there were so many more that he found admirable, endearing even. Maybe that was the definition of family. When the good outshone the bad because of some rooted need to get along. "We're going to break up aren't we?" His voice was a whisper and Magnus could feel his throat tighten.
"I feel like we should."
"Why—"
"Shush, you know it's nothing to do with you," Magnus shook his head, pulling Alec a little bit closer. Magnus' head fell back to lean on the door. "I don't want this to end over the phone, I don't want this to be something that we just let die for all the wrong reasons."
"Why does it have to end at all?"
Alec's question hung in the air, but when their eyes met, Magnus knew that Alec didn't need an answer. They both knew how messy it would become, how quickly their worlds would fall apart the moment that they tried to keep it going. They weren't on the same path, maybe they never had been, but now they couldn't put it off any longer. There was no way this was going to work.
"What if I stayed?"
"What?" Alec blinked, staring at Magnus in something akin to disbelief.
"What if I just didn't leave?" Magnus stammered, letting his hands slip out from under the fabric and fisting Alec's shirt in his hand. "What if we just lived here forever, in this little town. You can farm or whatever your family does for money and I'll start a lucrative business making knockoff clothes. It'll be the best dressed small town in all the world."
Alec laughed, but it was short lived and hollow. "Magnus, you have to leave."
"Why?"
"Because you have a life, you have this entire life just waiting for you in New York. You have friends, you have family, you have a future. There's no fashion school here, there's nothing for you—"
"There's you."
"I'm not enough for you to give away your future."
"Yes you are," Magnus whispered, sniffling. He could feel the tears pricking his eyes and he cursed whatever gene it was that made him a sobbing, terrible crybaby. Alec didn't say anything, but he pressed his lips to Magnus' cheekbones, to the corner of his eyes where the tears were building, and the middle of his forehead. "I still love you."
"I'll love you forever," Alec promised, the words breathed into Magnus' skin. He tilted Magnus' chin up and their lips met, soft at first and then more needy like they needed to drink up everything that they could. Time was running out, it was unraveling faster than Magnus was ready. Magnus let his grip on Alec's shirt loosen and he snagged the edge, flicking it up and slipping his fingers inside. He let them roam around Alec's navel, memorizing the maps of Alec's skin and the feel of his pulse agianst Magnus' fingertips.
Alec's lips ghosted over Magnus' jaw, causing Magnus to shiver and he bit back a groan. It was in the midst of having his boyfriend drag a moan out of him that a terrible thought occurred to Magnus. "I kind of haven't packed yet." Magnus mumbled. Alec stopped kissing Magnus' neck and stared at him.
"Excuse me?"
"I haven't packed yet?" Magnus offered, giving Alec a bashful smile. "I was going to do it yesterday but then you wore a really tight shirt and I got a little distracted-"
Alec cut Magnus off with a kiss, though it wasn't really a kiss because they were both laughing too hard to kiss properly. The tension in the room eased and they stopped kissing to just rest their foreheads together. Magnus groaned for a different reason, vehemetly shaking his head and pulling Alec back. "Forget I said anything and go back to that neck thing."
"You have to pack."
"No, you have to go back to doing that thing you did with my neck that made my heart seize up. If you don't I fear that my heart may stop entirely and we just can't have that."
His boyfriend smiled, but didn't kiss him again. He stepped back and looked at Magnus, up and down in the way that made Magnus feel beautiful. The way that made him want to ravish Alec all over again. And then he looked down at his feet and Magnus stopped.
"I wasn't going to cry." Alec said, almost frustrated. "I really wasn't."
"I'm sure you were going to stay strong." Magnus said, laughing a little. He almost couldn't say anything, because he was reaching the point of being teary and breathless impossibly fast. "I was totally going to cry, but we both knew that."
Alec nodded and swiped at his eyes, laughing.
It took them too long to get Magnus packed, stopping to just talk, to kiss and to try and make the time that they had left extend beyond the few hours they had. They got all of his stuff rangled up, stuffing it into his suitcases — Alec kept stopping to ask Magnus how the hell he'd packed it the first time, because it didn't seem possible that all of it could fit.
Dinner was light, but there was an undercurrent of sadness and Alec couldn't stop reaching for Magnus' hand under the table.
They slept in Alec's room that night, because Alec couldn't bear to see Magnus' bags packed by the door. In Alec's room they could pretend that Magnus wasn't leaving.
The morning of Magnus' flight, Magnus woke up to see Alec's bright blue eyes staring at him. For the last time, some twisted part of Magnus' mind reminded him. Because they weren't going to be this anymore. It was going to be carefully planned Skype calls and text conversations that never quite felt the same.
"Good morning," Alec mumbled, burrowing his face into Magnus' hair. Magnus smiled, his head on Alec's chest. He pulled Alec a little bit closer.
"Morning."
They lay in silence for a minute. Magnus could see the blinking numbers on Alec's clock and willed them to stop, if even for a few hours to just give them some time. "I've changed my mind," Alec said softly, his arms curling tighter around Magnus, "I don't want you to go. We can just stay here and sleep forever."
Magnus smiled, even though he knew that Alec was lying. It was nice to pretend, even for a second, that they could just stay.
"I feel like I need to shower," Magnus mused.
Alec stopped nuzzling his hair for a moment, sniffed it very obviously and then shrugged. "Nah, I think you're fine."
"You're just saying that because you're my boyfriend."
"Are you calling me a liar?"
"Maybe."
"That's not fair," Alec teased, leaning down to press their lips together. It was gentle and sleepy, soft and slow. "I love you."
"I love you more."
Alec looked like there was something else that he was going to say, but at that moment, the door burst open and Isabelle came inside. She was still wearing her pyjamas and shuffling along, hair rumpled but eyes bright. "I figured you'd be in here," Isabelle said, sighing. "Please tell me you're wearing pants this time."
"Pardon?" Alec spluttered, staring at his sister with abject horror.
She gave them a side eye. "Well," she said slowly, "you're not wearing shirts, but I'm really hoping that the lack of clothing doesn't go any further than that. And I'm also hoping that you're just cuddling and not, you know."
"I'm not even going to diginify that with a proper answer. Can we help you?" Magnus asked.
"Breakfast is ready, trust me, I wouldn't be enroaching on your roaring sex life if it weren't for our mother informing me that I have to."
"Oh my god," Alec groaned, his face was flushed and he turned it into Magnus' neck. "You can go now." Magnus just grinned and waved as Isabelle left the room.
"I guess we should go then."
Magnus' boyfriend nodded, sitting up and stretching. Magnus flopped back on the bed, shaking his head. He groaned when Alec grabbed his hand and dragged him to his feet, but he followed. Breakfast was quiet and almost solemn. Jace tried to rescue it with jokes, but Alec was almost completely mute and Isabelle played with her food more than she ate it.
And then Magnus was pulling on his clothes. He was saying goodbye to the room that had belonged to him for the past few months. He was checking the closet for anything he might've left behind and making sure that his bags were ready to be carted off to the airport.
He left the phone that Alec had given him on his desk, though it took him a moment to remember that he wasn't going to need it anymore once he left. He ran his hand over the darkened screen, remembering Alec at his door looking terrified, remembering all the steps that had led up to this one, all the moments of this impossible summer romance that defied everything that Magnus swore he knew about love.
When Magnus closed the door to his room, he couldn't help but feel like he was closing the door on his summer, on everything that had happened and the person that he had become. He was ending the story and it hurt like hell.
Alec was waiting in the hallway, looking gorgeous and sad all at once, every part of him made more trecherously lovely by the despair in his eyes. "Everyone is prettier when they're sad," Camille had said once, shaking her head. They'd been watching the Titanic and Tessa had commented on the impossibility of this being Leo's most attractive role ever. Magnus had shaken his head at the time, convinced that it was the movie lighting and the makeup, but now he saw what she meant. How the lovely became lovelier when they were plagued with a kind of sadness that's impossible to touch.
"We're going to take the truck," Alec told him, taking one of Magnus' bags from him, "everyone else is going to follow in the car." Magnus nodded, knowing that everyone else excluded Robert, who was on a business trip. He'd told Magnus goodbye the night before, shaking his hand and telling Magnus that it had been a pleasure to have him stay with them.
It had been awkward, but more heartfelt than Magnus had been expecting.
The drive to the airport was too short and before Magnus knew it, they were saying goodbye.
Magnus turned around, facing the people who had, over the course of the summer, become his second family. "I guess this is goodbye." He said softly, blinking to keep the tears from rolling down his face. He'd thought there'd been enough tears throughout the day, but he must have been wrong.
Isabelle flung herself at him and Magnus barely caught her, wrapping his arms around her tiny middle and smelling the familiar scent of her lavender shampoo.
"Shit." She mumbled in his ear, her voice thick with tears. "I'm really going to miss you."
"We'll talk all the time." Magnus told her, his voice muffled as he squeezed her tighter. "We're gal pals remember?"
"Of course."
"And you're going to be my model."
"Of course." Her response was shakier and it took her a moment to let Magnus go. She pressed a kiss to his cheek, just below his eye, and gave him a watery smile.
She hadn't been gone for more than a second when she was replaced by Max. "I didn't realize you were going home so soon." Max said sadly.
"That's okay." Magnus said, looking down at the younger boy and trying to keep it together. "You guys are just going to have to come visit me."
"You'll take me to see the Empire State Building?" Max asked, his eyes suddenly bright.
Magnus grinned at him. "I'll even take you to the best comic book shop in all of New York." Taking in Max's gaping face, Magnus made a mental note to figure out what the good comic book shops in New York were, so that he could find something to send to Max. It was weird, because Magnus had never had any biological siblings, younger or older. But he supposed that this was part of what being an older brother was, making your siblings happy no matter what.
Max stumbled back to his parents after making Magnus promise to send him things and to have a bed ready in case Max ever needed to run away. He promised the later with a laugh, because it was such a kid thing.
Jace replaced Max and there was a heartbeat of silence.
"I'm not going to get sappy," Jace said firmly, though there was a slight waver to his voice.
"Never," Magnus nodded, but his faux seriousness was broken when he looked up and saw Jace's smile.
"You're crazy, but I'm weirdly going to miss you."
"You sure?"
"Not really," Jace shrugged, "there's every possibility that I'm going to throw a party the second you leave, but there's no telling."
Then he did the unthinkable, he took two steps forward and hugged Magnus. Magnus hugged him back, partially out of instinct but mostly because he really was going to miss Jace and their weird relationship. They were almost friends, something that Magnus never would have thought they could be.
Just before pulling away, Jace whispered in Magnus' ear. "Thank you for making him so happy. Thank you for telling me to go after Clary. Thank you."
Magnus could do nothing but nod, as Maryse came up and gave him a quick hug. Her eyes were wet and that familiar blue that made his heart ache.
"You come back any time, okay? You'll always have a home here." She said. Magnus couldn't find the right words, couldn't explain just how much it meant to hear her say that, to think that he had a place with a family so wonderful and so brilliant. She brushed a hand over his cheek slightly, nodding and then stepping away to wrap an arm around Isabelle's shoulders.
And then they were gone, and it was just Magnus and Alec. Alec was fiddling with the hem of his t-shirt, like he couldn't bear to meet Magnus' eyes.
"So this is it?" Alec asked, his voice barely a whisper. For a moment it was like the airport was empty and it was just the two of them in the entire world. Magnus wondered how long he could hang onto this moment, where Alec was painted in perfect clarity.
"I guess so," Magnus replied, stepping forward to take Alec's hands.
"We'll still talk right? Even if we're not together? We'll skype or something?"
"Of course." It would hurt, to see Alec's face and know that Magnus couldn't call him his boyfriend anymore, but he knew that somehow never seeing Alec again would be worse. "We'll just be friends or something."
"Something sounds good," Alec laughed a little, it was watery and wavering and Magnus could feel the tears in the back of his throat, "friends sounds brutal to be honest."
"I can't disagree."
There was a heartbeat of silence. Then Alec shook his head and pulled Magnus close, murmuring a soft "c'mere." Clutched to Alec's chest, Magnus closed his eyes, pressing a kiss to Alec's temple.
"I love you." Magnus said softly. They had to do this, they had to break up now, because to do it over the phone or text or Skype would be so hideously painful they could not bear it.
"I love you," Alec replied, closing his eyes. "I don't think I'll ever stop."
It took all of Magnus' strength to step away. To leave the warmth of Alec and start to move to the gate. His suitcases where checked and the only thing that he had left with him was his carry-on.
Magnus would never forget how it felt to look back. How it felt to look over his shoulder and see Alec there, eyes following Magnus all the way through the gate. He'd never forget the look in his boyfriend's eyes — his boyfriend who wasn't really his boyfriend anymore — and the way that Alec raised one hand, giving Magnus the most heartbreakingly beautiful smile he'd ever seen.
Magnus didn't want to forget.
Well that was successfully a total bummer.
Never fear, I'm a sucker for happy endings and I still have three chapters to pull that off... Probably.
xx
PS: Also I'm super sorry about the party scene, because to be completely honest I started writing it and then couldn't get anyone to do anything other than laugh at super weird moments, so it was rewritten half a dozen times and took about a month to become the disaster that you see here.