Bleed for me - Part Twenty Five
"I'm hurting you.." Emma choked out and stumbled backward over the bed.
She looked absolutely mortified, her brows knitted together, disgusted with herself. She shook her head while she drew her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms tightly around her bent legs, her breathing ragged and raw. Her eyes darting around anxiously, her back pressed against the headboard. Almost as if she wanted to vanish into thin air.
Regina drew in a deep breath, steadying herself. Surprised not to feel anger, only a deep sense of sympathy and understanding. It wasn't Emma who hurt her, but the Dark One. She knew very well there were two totally different sides to her personality now, but she wasn't sure if the blonde was still aware of that fact. She could tell the lines were fading, how Emma blamed herself for hurting her.
She watched the blonde's fearful eyes looking everywhere but at her, and knew she was losing her.
"Emma, it's okay!" she hurried to say, her voice cracked and her throat was still sore. She reached out her hand as she softly added, "I'm okay.."
A choked sob escaped Emma's lips as she moved away, keeping a safe distance between them. She couldn't think straight with the brunette so close, still unable to process what had just occurred. All she wanted to do was crawl into a hole by herself. How could she hurt the one person she had no wish ever to hurt?
She made the mistake to look up into Regina's eyes and found the brunette breathing as heavily as she was, unable to avert her eyes. Her heart skipped a beat at the deepness she found in them, revealing some kind of compassion she wasn't sure she deserved.
She extended her arm when Regina shifted towards her again, halting her movement. Her eyes wide and pleading for the brunette to stay away.
"I think it's not okay…" she whispered, lowering her eyes in shame. "I-I'm so sorry, Regina.. I never meant to hurt you.."
Regina tentatively sat down on the edge of the bed, careful not to unsettle the blonde. She wanted to reach out to her, to assure her she wasn't alone as she felt right now, but she couldn't. She wanted to tell her that she understood, but she wouldn't. She understood her moods, and even more important, she understood Emma.
She knew how deeply damaged she was, her emotions never buried far beneath her tough exterior. She knew her tendency to run away, her great difficulty to face her inner feelings. Her almost inhuman sense of responsibility, compromising herself to fight for what is right and to help those in need. A woman so hard and soft, so strong and vulnerable, and so safe and dangerous.
She opened her mouth to speak, but swallowed back her words when she caught the small movement in the corner of her eye. She stared down at Emma's hand, the almost imperceptible flick of her wrist, and knew what was coming.
She did something out of instinct that neither of them could have predicted, as she gracefully rose off the bed, straightening her spine. She lifted her chin regally and placed her hands on her hips, staring down at the blonde, who seemed to be frozen. Her eyes wide and appearing highly uncomfortable, unsure what was happening.
"Yes, run away, miss Swan! That's what you do best!" Regina blazed, her eyes filled with a fire she had been holding back for a long time. She felt the familiar darkness seeping into her veins, allowing it to gain some control.
She flinched at the harshness of her own words, but she knew she needed to proceed. She needed to challenge her, to try and get the blonde to fight her, to give her a reason not to run. And she knew very well how her damned stubbornness would override everything, standing in the way to stay for the right reasons. To stay because she needed help, because she couldn't do this on her own.
She knew she hit the right nerve when her eyes met the blonde's again, seeing how she raised her eyebrow and faced her challengingly. They stared at each other briefly and Regina caught the flicker of something in her eyes she couldn't quite decipher, following the blonde's movements intently. She felt the air thicken around them, charging with a powerful magic that nearly knocked her out.
"There you are…" the blonde murmured, as she slowly crawled towards her.
Regina gasped at the dark pools that were staring right back at her, as the blonde chuckled darkly. She tightened her grip on her hips and clenched her jaw to keep her composure. It became clear that she succeeded, but she wasn't sure if she was ready to face the consequences.
Emma changed within a heartbeat, but the brunette, however, struggled to do the same. She willed herself to calm down and to transform into her former self, the Evil Queen. But the woman she so carefully distanced herself from, had no intention of helping her at this very moment.
Emma must have noticed her falter, because a moment later she stepped into Regina's private space, an evil smirk plastered all over her face.
"I've been wondering where you've been hiding, your Majesty…" she almost purred in ecstasy.
Regina held her breath when the blonde stopped in front of her, their bodies mere inches apart. Her eyes shone with an almost manic excitement and she could quite literally feel the darkness radiating off of her in waves.
Her breath hitched when Emma's finger traveled from her collarbone to the valley of her breasts. The feather light touch set her on fire, and she had to continually remind herself that the woman in front of her wasn't Emma. At least not at this very moment.
She licked her lips and released the breath she'd been holding, catching the sudden wonder in the blonde's eyes as she followed her finger's movements. A soft giggle erupted from Emma's lips as she continued to caress the brunette's skin, goosebumps following her path, while she leaned in to look closer.
"You really have changed…" she whispered, her dark eyes trained on Regina's skin. "My touch affects you.. You care…"
She tilted her head and her eyes flickered with a brief moment of recognition, but it was gone as quick as it came. Regina's body stiffened and she clenched her fists tighter, desperately trying to keep her mask in place.
"So tell me.." Emma continued, pressing her hips against the brunette's, their eyes locking intensely. "How does that black heart of yours managed to love again?"
Regina closed her eyes, trying to ignore the waves of pleasure caused by the blonde's sudden contact. She could feel the heat from her body through the fabric of her clothes, and suppressed a moan when Emma's hips softly rocked against hers.
"I don't.." she breathed weakly.
Her knees buckled when the blonde's lips found her neck, and trailed her lips across her skin. Her hands roaming down her sides, feeling all her senses respond to Emma's touch.
"Ooh, I think you do.." the blonde countered softly, as she leaned back slightly to face the brunette.
Her eyes were boring into Regina's, almost as if she could look straight into her soul. A smirk tugging her lips as she grinned knowingly.
"You could have used that…" the blonde pointed out, motioning to the dagger. "But instead you let your precious Emma hurt you.."
Regina bit her lip, trying to contain her anger. Feeling awfully vulnerable and emotionally raw right now. It was clear what the blonde was trying to do, attempting to gain power over her. To control her. To manipulate her. She knew the signs all too well, the craving she'd been experiencing herself for years.
"She didn't hurt me.." she heard herself stating, surprised by the sudden strength and resolution in her voice.
She could tell that she caught the blonde off guard, as her jaw dropped slightly. Feeling the balance shift between them.
"No?" Emma countered incredulously, keeping her eyes locked on the brunette's.
Regina shook her head and felt how her lips curled up in a smug grin. She shivered with the faith and power that were growing inside her as she whispered, "You did.."
Emma started to laugh. It was a high pitched sound that was almost hysterical in its intensity, and Regina felt the tiny hairs on the back of her neck rising.
"And what makes you say were not one and the same?"
TBC