Author's Note: This is a post ep for the home invasion episode that ends with Emily thinking about adopting that girl. If you'll recall, our dynamic duo had a slight differing of opinion on that idea. And I have my own spin on those events :)

Episode – Children of the Dark

A Matter of Perspective

"Okay buddy, I love you."

After he'd clicked off his call with Jack, Hotch looked across the aisle to Prentiss.

She was sitting alone at the small table.

When Hotch was on the phone she and JJ had been talking, but then JJ had left her a few minutes earlier to go lie down on one of the benches. And now Prentiss was just staring out the window . . . seemingly lost in thought.

And figuring this was as good a time as any . . . thought there really wasn't any 'good' time . . . Hotch slipped his cell into his pocket. Then he bit back a sigh as he stood up and crossed the aisle to take the seat that JJ had vacated.

Emily flicked her eyes over to Hotch with a dismissive glance. Then she looked back again, giving him a hard look and a distant, "sir," before she turned to look out the window once more

Grrr . . . Hotch groaned internally . . . she was really angry with him.

After his comment at the station about her remaining objective, she'd given him a look . . . and a tone . . . but he'd hoped that she would have gotten over it by now. He had been planning on speaking to her either way, but it would have nicer if she wasn't pissed off. With Strauss, Haley, Haley's sister and Haley's mother all grinding his gears, he had enough women upset with him at the moment.

He really wasn't trying to add to the list.

Emily was hoping that her stiff uninviting body language would clue Hotch into that fact that she REALLY didn't want to talk to him right now. Like flat out wanted nothing to do with him. She was still more than a little annoyed at his response to the idea of her adopting that girl. Given that he didn't understand what she was going through, he shouldn't have been so quick to shut her down.

To dismiss her ideas.

Hotch could see Emily grinding her teeth as her fingers dug into her arm.

Clearly she wanted him to leave . . . but he didn't want to leave. He wanted to talk. So he leaned back against the seat and crossed his arms across his chest. She wasn't the only one that could convey their point non-verbally.

He was staying whether she liked it or not.

As she shot Hotch another look, Emily realized that he was insisting on doing this right now.

Damn it! Why did he always want to talk when she was mad at him?

But of course given the hierarchical nature of their relationship . . . of the two of them . . . generally he was the one that got his way in these situations. So with a weary sigh, she tried to muster up some slightly less hostile body language than she had been demonstrating a moment earlier.

If they were going to do this now . . . which they obviously WERE . . . then there was no reason to try and pick a fight.

Hearing Emily sigh as she dropped her head, Hotch saw that as his opening.

He leaned forward.

"Prentiss, I was serious earlier when I said I needed to know that you could remain objective . . ."

And he immediately cut him off as she glared across the table.

"And I was serious when I said I needed to know that I could remain human."

Hotch narrowed his eyebrows, "if I may finish." Emily tipped her head slightly as she mumbled, "sorry, sir."

Then she gave an internal eye roll at her snappish response . . . let's try a little harder with the non-hostility pact there Em.

Hoping that she wasn't going to make this an excruciating conversation, Hotch started again.

"Prentiss this has been an incredibly hard year for the team. Elle's . . . departure, Morgan's arrest, Reid's abduction, you and I both quitting, and then top it all off, Gideon disappearing without so much as a word to anyone," he paused, "that's a ridiculous sequence of events to process. And Elle and Gideon, though they left under very different circumstances, they both left for the same reason. They couldn't do this job anymore because they got too close," he stopped to make sure he had her complete attention. When she tipped her head slightly he continued, "I can't have that happen with you."

He looked imploringly at her, "Prentiss, I NEED you. Period, end of sentence." Shaking his head he took a breath, "Gideon's gone, and Reid's better, but he's still struggling. That leaves me, you and Morgan to take point on these cases. If I have to worry that you're going to pick up every orphan we come across as a stray to take home, we can't function. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

God knows he wasn't trying to be an asshole about intruding on her personal life, but this was just NOT something that he could deal with right now!

Emily stared at him, feeling her countenance softening . . . she hadn't thought of it like that, she hadn't thought of how he would see her decision to take in Carrie as a further splintering of the team.

She bit her cheek . . . she hadn't been planning on discussing this with him, not with anyone really. JJ had approached her, but given what he was worrying about she figured it was the only way to alleviate his fears. Knowing what he was already dealing with she didn't want to add herself to his list of burdens.

Rubbing her hands together she looked down for a moment, trying to think of how to explain this to him.

As they sat in silence, Hotch wasn't sure what was going to come out of her mouth when she finally responded. She would either be resentful at him for putting this pressure on her, or understanding that at present the continued efficient and smooth functioning of the team had to be his top priority right now.

He saw Prentiss start to open her mouth and sent up a silent prayer for 'understanding' to be the order of the day.

When Emily spoke again her voice was very faint, "she asked me if there were any happy families."

That wasn't what Hotch was expecting, and it was the first he was hearing about this conversation. He tipped his head, "and what did you say?"

"I didn't know what to say. You know my mother and I have a, um . . . complicated relationship?" He gave an imperceptible nod so she continued, "well, Carrie had been fighting with her parents just before they were killed. She said she'd been awful to them." Looking up Emily gave him a grim smile, "I've said some pretty awful things to my mother Hotch."

He was starting to have an inkling why this girl had gotten to her more than the others.

"Prentiss, you know that all children do that. It's the nature of the relationship, testing boundaries, asserting independence."

Seeing her nodding her agreement, he softened his tone. "So why is this bothering you so much?"

She looked up at him, "Carrie said it was too late now to be a good daughter," she paused, "and sometimes I think that myself, that it's too late to fix things with my mother. God Hotch, I'm almost forty and she and I can barely get through a meal together, we've gone MONTHS without speaking." She looked over at him, "I don't have a spouse or children or siblings. I just have two roles in life, agent and daughter. Just a few weeks ago I almost threw away the first, and I'm an utter FAILURE at the second."

Looking down at the table she sighed, "I just thought I could help this girl. Give her another chance," she shook her head dismissively, "not that I'd have been her mom really but, well, you know what I mean. And selfishly, I thought maybe if I could have the experience of being a parent, it might help me be a better daughter."

Her eyes were moist when she looked up, "because I don't want to stand over my mother's grave some day and think it's late too be a good daughter," she looked at him sadly, "I don't want to be Carrie."

Hotch finally understood. She had felt compassion for the other children she'd encountered who had been orphaned by tragedy, but this was the first time she'd been able to relate to the child. Really, he never would have considered that as a reason for her decision to take Carrie home.

He rubbed his hands together.

"Prentiss, I can tell you as a parent that in some ways it does help you appreciate what your parents went through with you, but I haven't found that knowledge has necessarily made me a better son, or in your case daughter. Your issues with your parents are always going to be your issues. Having a child won't change them. And I'm certainly not trying to tell you how to live your life, all I'm saying is, if you're thinking about having children, come to me first."

As he watched Prentiss slowly arching her eyebrow, Hotch realized what he'd just said.

That's good Aaron, borderline sexual harassment right there.

Feeling his face getting warm, he tried to smooth over his unintentional innuendo.

"Uh, that didn't come out right. I just meant that if, uh, you're going through something right now and it would be easier if I rotated you off the interviews with children, then just let me know. Reid and JJ can step in for the time being if it helps you."

Emily's mouth began to quiver as she saw Hotch blush . . . that was another one for the Precious Memories book. She could see he was trying to be nice.

Though . . . she noted with some amusement . . . it was 'nice' in a slightly self serving fashion.

Either way she thought she'd cut him some slack.

"Hotch I promise you I am not going to begin, as you so sensitively put it, 'picking up strays.' This was an unusual situation. I don't have baby fever, Carrie just struck a nerve."

Having regained his composure Hotch raised his eyebrow, "you're sure?"

Nodding she gave him a little smile, "yeah, I'm sure." Tipping his head, he sighed in relief as he started to slide out to go back to his own seat. That went much better than he thought it would.

Emily decided to add one more thing before Hotch left, "and sir, I'd just like to say, that shade of pink you just turned," she quirked up her lip, "very attractive."

Hotch shot a warning look across the table.

"Prentiss . . ."

Her brow wrinkled in confusion, "oh I'm sorry sir, given that you just propositioned me a moment ago I thought we were going for a whole," she scrunched up her face, "after hours, Profilers Gone Wild thing."

Seeing Hotch's eyes fall shut as he dropped his head to his chest, Emily smiled . . . she did love busting his chops.

"No? Oh, sorry, my mistake."

She reached over to pick up her blanket of the seat next to her, her eyes twinkling as she started to cover up.

"Good night sir."

His eyes shot back up as Hotch ground out a pained, "good night Prentiss," then he crossed back over to his own seat.

When he sat down he glanced back over to see her wink at him before she closed her eyes.

Shaking his head in amazement, Hotch started packing up his files.

'If he ever burst an aneurysm he had no doubt Emily Prentiss was going to be in the room at the time.'

A/N 2: People generally take away from that episode that Emily was thinking about having kids, but then TPTB never touched on that idea again. Now they do have some issues in occasionally dropping the continuity ball, but in this instance, because they never brought it up again I felt I could safely walk away from the idea that Em was seriously thinking about having children at THAT moment in time. I personally was more struck by her reaction to that 'happy families' line. It was more open to applicability in her own life, plus it made the idea of her adopting a random teenage girl more palatable. Because really, even if you are thinking about having kids, who starts with a 16 yr old survivor of a home invasion who saw her entire family slaughtered? I don't care how great a person you are, that's a lot to take on. So I thought she needed to relate to Carrie personally for that to even make sense.

And Hotch, I think the reasoning I gave him is the actual reason he freaked at her. But any underlying logic to his 'objectivity' remark was lost in the harshness of the tone. So I thought it was important that he explain himself better when they got to the plane. This is another thing I'd like to believe canon Hotch did as well. But either way, he's right, they couldn't function if they got that emotionally involved with all their cases.

On a related note, of course all of this was all like 2 yrs ago, and Emily's thoughts on parenting at that time, have no bearing on her current feelings on that topic :) I do have a couple more chapters sketched out on that story. They might go up this week. If they do, then just know that whatever story I post on, the other most likely will not be updated that day.

Next: "On Days Like This"