"Police are asking all the prisoners of this establishment to please stay hidden until an official announcement has been made. As you can see behind me, local fire departments are still uncovering bodies and fuel barrels, leading us to believe that there is foul play involved with this arson and murder of multiple employees and prisoners at this establishment. We have heard from several people that have escaped the facility that if it hadn't been for two, or possibly three, unnamed prisoners, the death toll, which is surprisingly low, would have been far, far worse. No one has come forward yet to take credit for this act of heroism. Many of the prisoners that were inside have been recently proven innocent by Vincent McClure, the leading lawyer for the trial that started the 'Justice for Jenna' campaign, who has been working with the current DA, Tiffany Phillips, to bring all those who were wronged or have done wrong, to justice. Speaking of the 'Justice for Jenna' campaign, there is no official statement that has been made concerning why the fire was started, what happened a week ago with the all-out execution of prisoners lead by Dirk Strider in his non-violent reveal of what recently came to light, and also no word on said man on whether he is still alive. The warden, Oliver Durante, has refused to make any sort of statement as well. Our hearts and prayers go out to all who were victimized by this horrible incident. This is Fiona Petranelli reporting for CNB News."
xXx
She wet his hair down before doing his bangs slowly and carefully. The pair of scissors in her hand didn't stray too close to his face as the television continued in the next room, switching to a commercial when the news broadcast had ended. Dirk couldn't help but shut his eye that was closest to the silvery object. "Don't worry, you're going to look just purrfect." Nadine smiled to him, her short pixie black hair was styled very cutely, and he'd been assured by Kar that she would have been a hair stylist in her last life. Dirk didn't usually let anyone but himself touch his hair, either that or his three friends. He honestly did get along with the girl though, she reminded him of Roxy and that was probably the reason why he'd allowed it in the first place. Perhaps it was just the love of cats that he found so similar.
It had been three days since Mindfang and Rufioh had dropped them off at Kar's old house. Theo and Nadine had been up already regardless of the late time and had immediately welcomed them in without question. Where the other two had wandered off to, Dirk didn't want to know. With as much history passed between them in their last lives, he couldn't really gauge what possibilities were more likely to happen than not. Since then, the news constantly played on the television to have some sort of permanent connection to the outside world. Evert and Kar were both quiet, just as much as Dirk was. They accepted him strangely enough, and he pulled his weight with the chores. It had been this morning when Kar had tugged on his sleeve and asked if he wanted a haircut. Thus leading to his current position underneath Nadine's near-loving ministrations. Kar sat not too far away with his own hair much shorter than it had been. Dirk had decided to get rid of the soul patch that was starting to take over his chin, too, besides the haircut. As much as he liked looking like an adult, he didn't want to scare the shit out of Jake and the others when he came back more than the piercings and tattoos already would.
He had to borrow some of Gabriel's clothing to wear around the house too. Evert's clothing had been too large for him, Kar and Theo's too small, and Nadine had almost nothing but cute shorts and skirts. And as much as he liked a breeze, he didn't want to get arrested for cross-dressing on the way home. Speaking of clothes, it was extremely odd to see Evert in a tank-top and shorts, and Kar in a pair of jeans and a hoodie. True, he didn't expect them to stay in their orange jumpsuits—but it was still so strange to see them out of their prison uniforms. He was one to talk, since he was sitting there in a pair of converse shoes, black jeans and an black t-shirt that had the words 'high on life, bro'. It wasn't his choice, but it worked better than being naked.
Nadine finished up shaving the back of his neck and showed him in the mirror. His eyebrows rose slowly at his image. "Wow, you really are good at doing hair." He complimented sliding a hand through his new feathery blond hair. It was almost exactly like his old style except it had more side burns to it and in his opinion, laid better in the back now it didn't look like he had a cowlick. He offered her a small smile and she chuckled, "Don't doubt me, Dirk. I'll purrove you wrong efurry time!"
Dirk grinned then, most thought she just had a small speech impediment, but he knew it was her speech style just fading in from the old days. It still didn't lack its cuteness. "I'll do well to remember that. Thanks for the cut." She nodded, sweeping the pile of blond, black and brown—since Tavros had gotten his tiny Mohawk trimmed a little—into the wastebasket. Kar moved over to be between Evert and Dirk to watch the television as the blond came into the room. They were all watching other channels covering the destruction, but none of them had any sort of idea what actually happened inside those walls. CNS seemed to have the most knowledge for some reason, and the reporter looked oddly familiar to Dirk, though he couldn't place her.
"When were you thinking of returning to your home?" Evert asked suddenly and Kar gave him a look. Dirk glanced over at him, but didn't take offense to the words. Evert had a forthright way about him most of the time, and rarely meant any malice behind it. "Worn out my welcome?" Kar shot him a look, now, but Evert shook his head. "No. I was curious if you are returning at all or if we had to make arrangements to get you back into the city without causing alarm. You have a very… memorable face." Nadine came to sit in the armchair beside a sleeping Tavros, who was knocked out cold from the pain medication for his legs. Apparently there was an accident when he was a child that had severed his spine and it still hurt from time to time. "What he means is, we want to keep you safe to get home!" She smiled and Dirk nodded, "I figured, I understand Evert-ese." The Native American grunted but said nothing to that. "I can find my own way back. I'll walk it. No one thinks I'm alive, so unless I go streaking through the streets screaming who I am I won't attract attention."
There was a pause, "I'll leave either tonight or tomorrow morning. I've got a couple things to do before I head…" The word was heavy on his lips, "Home." Would they still be waiting? Would they take him back after everything he had done in the prison? Sure, his hallucinations were forgiving but he was the one who created them. All the apologies and fighting and mental battles had truly been inside his head. Which made him nervous about coming home to perhaps an empty apartment. Then he really wouldn't know what to do then. Kar shrugged, "Don't have to go." He said softly, "We've got two spare rooms and it's not like we're pushing you to leave." Dirk turned his head a little to look at him and Kar avoided his gaze by locking his eyes on the television. "I'll remember that… but I've got my own family to take care of." Kar looked at him a bit sadly before nodding, "Responsibilities are for the fucking birds." He grunted and got up, "Who wants food? I want food."
Dirk looked between the other two who frowned in return. They all knew Kar was having a bit of trouble readjusting to life outside the prison… and that included Dirk leaving. He stood slowly, going to the kitchen doorway down the hallway from the living room. "Hey." He whispered and Kar stopped searching the cabinets for something to chew on. "What?" Kar replied, mildly irritated already. Dirk walked to him, uncrossing his arms to hug the other from behind. He rested his chin on Kar's shoulder. Kar gripped the cabinet doors and shut his eyes. "I'm sorry." He murmured and Kar sighed angrily, "Why are you fucking sorry? I'm the one who can't fucking figure myself out."
Dirk pulled back to turn Kar around and look him in the eye. "You're Kar. That's who you are. You survived something horrible. It's time to rebuild what you had and make it better." Kar looked a little taken aback by that and looked away then. His voice was small, "I don't feel that way though." He looked back at Dirk, "You know more about this shit than you let on." Kar brought up his hand to brush through his hair, "Even if you aren't with me I hope that guy you're going back to is going to help you battle… whatever the hell it is that you're fighting." Kar shrugged, "I've just… got to find a place to pick up again at."
Dirk shook his head, "Don't try to pick up where you left off. It doesn't work. Fix the things that are broken- relationships, people, friends, whatever. Then move on. It's a hell of a lot easier on your health." Kar briefly smiled at that and he drew in a brief breath of air before leaned up to kiss Dirk gently on the lips. It wasn't passionate, or asking him for something more than he was willing to give. Kar was simply saying goodbye the only way he could manage at the moment. His hand was still in his hair, "Be fucking careful out there, Strider. They aren't as nice as we are." He gestured his head toward Evert and Nadine, who were talking quietly. Nadine had such a look on her face that Dirk had to smile. "I will." He pulled away from him and Kar let out a breath as he left. There was a pause before Kar jerked, "Oh shit, I forgot." He turned to open up a drawer full of random crap before pulling out a notepad. He flipped through it before ripping out a piece of paper and handing it to him. "This is a chick Sol and I ran into a few days before Gabe… you know." He sighed, "She called herself the Handmaiden. I don't know if it means anything but she talked a whole fuckton about how someone who was going against the world would need her help, and I have this feeling you fit the bill. Who knows though? She's probably just a Japanese pornstar or some shit."
Dirk looked at the address before nodding, "Probably." He smiled at the thought, "Thank you, Kar." He blinked slowly at him before Kar sighed running his own hand through his hair tiredly, "Just stay for dinner, and then get the fuck out of here, dipshit." Dirk nodded, "Alright. I can manage that." Kar muttered that he better or he'd get Nadine to tie him up and started cooking with his help. Even if they weren't romantically involved, they had developed a friendship that he could honestly say that he valued and would miss. They ate together in the living room on different sized plates and in different positions. It was getting late by that point and Nadine helped Theo to his room, Evert checked the house security- making sure no one had compromised their residence (his words, not theirs), Kar walked him out to the road. It was cold, and the night air swirling around them causing Kar to shiver a bit, looking at the streetlights in the far distance leading into Austin. "Sure you want to do this?" Dirk sighed, "I have to go back home-." Kar shook his head, interrupting him softly, "No… not that. Taking on whatever you plan on taking on." Dirk shrugged, "I don't have a choice."
Kar laughed, "There is always a fucking choice, numbnuts! We might not know all the possibilities right now, but we sure as hell always have a choice." The blonde shifted in the night air, orange hoodie barely keeping him warm as it was. "Then I'm making the choice to live. Now the lives that aren't being lived yet will have that chance, too." He answered him and Kar nodded, his red eyes focused on him. "Good. Keep it that way will you?" Kar turned and headed toward the house, "Good luck, Dirk." The blond smiled at him, starting to walk, "You too, Kar."
xXx
He didn't go straight home. Dirk didn't know whether he was trying to postpone it or was actually trying to lay to rest the demons in the back of his mind. Sure, he would still have a lot of them, but going to these places, he'd at least rest his mind for a while. He back tracked through the last several months- almost a year and a half by his count. The club was the first place he went and had to smile a bit as it was quiet for once. It was four in the morning, and even the most hardcore party goers were relaxing. He ordered the first alcoholic drink he'd had since that night. The bartender didn't recognize him in the slightest and he drank slowly from his beer. Honestly he didn't really care for the taste. It was like bitter foam, but the effects warmed him considerably from the outside air. He watched the people around him chat or smoke; this was one of the few places left that still let customers smoke inside. Dirk finished his beer and paid with the small amount of money that Kar had loaned him for a cab. He wasn't going to bother using the rest, but did plan to send it back to them with interest when he 'came back from the dead' officially and got his spare funds back.
He eventually headed towards Nathanial's home. It was a long walk and by midday he had peeled off the hoodie to tie around his waist, still walking to his destination. Near ten months since he had been in the area had dulled his memory, but eventually through the twists and turns of the road, he found the place again. Dirk licked his lips, feeling a pain settle deep inside his chest seeing the charred remains of the residence that still stood there. There was almost nothing left besides the wreckage that stuck out of the ground and went too deep for whoever had spent time cleaning this place up to dig out. The blond carefully walked towards it, putting a bandaged hand onto a side of pillar that still stood. One arm was wrapped tightly to try to help his dislocated shoulder. He'd taken off the brace a day before he left to keep his arm in place. He stepped carefully though, not wanting to add any more injuries to his list. There were gaping holes in the foundation where the basement he'd been trapped in had collapsed in on itself. Dirk worked his way around it before finding an opening and jumping down, eyes instantly adjusting to the low light. He wanted to find one thing in particular… but he'd never admit it to himself.
Dirk walked through the underground chambers that were mostly collapsed and destroyed by the fire he'd set. He didn't go anywhere he wasn't at least half sure that wouldn't come down on him. The blond took slow, deep breaths, trying to process that he was a free man here. This was a demon he knew he had to face if he ever wanted to do anything else with his life. Dirk made his way toward where he and Jake had been pulled out and started to gently nudge the dirt around with his foot until he felt something slide. He took a deep breath and leaned down, brushing the dirt from what he was hoping to find.
Nathanial Morris' body.
People would have thought him crazy to go back where he had been tortured for so long just to find the body of his killer. He wasn't crazy, not yet at least. He brushed the dirt and rubble from the bones and held up the skull for his examination. The reason he knew it was Nathanial was by where he was, and also the two very enlarged sockets where his eyeballs had once been. The saw mill was large, and he knew the fireman had to evacuate several times trying to search what remained of the residence for people and later police to find evidence. They never found his body and Dirk never told them. It was probably one of the reasons he was put away himself; there was a lack of evidence found because this place was so unstable. He felt like Hamlet for a moment, suddenly speaking to the skull in his hand. "You were a sick bastard. You preyed on the weak and wanted only to spread your evil to others. But you lost…" He whispered to it, pausing as if it would answer him. "And I'm not your captive, treasure, wife, husband, or anything else." He said, shaking his head slowly. "I'm free of you." He took the skull up as he rose before smashing it against the wall with such force that it shattered into hundreds of pieces. He took a deep breath before climbing up the holes up to the surface again. He didn't know why exactly he'd wanted to do that… he just… wanted to finally set the record straight in his mind. Nathanial Morris was dead. Dirk Strider was alive.
It was a very long way back to Austin and to the graveyard that she was buried in. He bought a bouquet along his way and stepped inside the large gated 'community' of the dead. The sun was setting from how much he'd walked that day, not to mention how both feet ached as he searched for her gravestone among the rest. Finding it, he put the flowers down and sat with his back to the back of Jenna Summer's grave. "You were right." He said to the air around him, "About absolutely everything. I know… in reality, you probably couldn't hear me since it was a hallucination I was talking to… at least I think it was. But… I'm glad I finally said it to you, that I lied…" He sighed, "And I'm sorry. And I will live for the both of us." He crossed his arms to warm himself against the cold wind. Dirk rested his chin on his arms that were on top of his knees. He closed his eyes to listen to the world around him for a bit. "I'm scared, but I think I'll be okay now. Thank you for what you did for me. Back with that monster and in the prison. I know I wouldn't have made it out if you hadn't."
He felt a hand lightly press against his shoulder and he opened his eyes, expecting to see someone beside him. But there was no one, and he frowned, twisting to look over the gravestone to still see no one there. He did a full scan around him before settling back down. Dirk didn't believe in ghosts outside the Game… but who knew, a lot of things that were impossible had happened to him. The blond rose up after a few minutes and took a deep breath, now was the hard part.
xXx
Jake took another sip of the vodka glass he had in front of him. He let out a long sigh, trying to calm his nerves. Of all the bad habits to pick up, he'd started this. In retrospect, at least he was the one drinking it instead of Roxy. Though she didn't really have time to drink it now, of course. Jake ran his fingers over his counter top in the kitchen. They were still in the joint apartment… but plans were being made to move out soon. Without the fourth income, it was hard to pay rent for the entire floor and… he and the girls had decided that it was hard to deal with the memories here. He swallowed the entire contents of the glass and coughed a little with his eyes watering. Jake poured himself another and set the empty bottle in the trashcan. "Holy fuck…" He muttered putting a hand through his hair. Honestly he didn't know why the kitchen had seemed like the prime place to do this.
Jane was sleeping at this point, going to get up early for a shift tomorrow morning. And Roxy was at the hospital again- like the woman never left. He, of course, didn't have a meeting until tomorrow afternoon. Which he didn't plan on attending, honestly. The television blared in the next room that the prison had burnt down and a list of known survivors had been sent out. He, like so many other families, had received his this morning. It sat crumbled beside the vodka bottle in the garbage can. Dirk Strider's name was absent in the list... The girls hadn't seen it yet, nor would they. He had burnt the other two letters and threw the remains out too. Jake looked over at the black metal plating and picked the weapon up, gauging the weight of it carefully. It was fully loaded and the safety was off. He drank another sip of the vodka and cocked it and uncocked it a few times, carefully considering the thoughts bouncing around in his head.
The nightmares were getting worse. So much worse that Jane and Roxy both often had to stop him from jumping off the roof a few times. They were of the past, future, and present. Some of them even about Dirk. Some about flames. He cocked the gun. His breathing was slow as he looked at it. He'd lost Dirk by his own stupidity. What started all of this was his own moronic words at the bar. He'd drank too much, said awful things he couldn't even remember now, and driven Dirk into the arms of Nathanial. Because of Nathanial, Dirk had gone to prison and had died there. And it was his fault. He'd killed the love of his life. Maybe not directly, but he was the cause. The gun stayed cocked. Roxy and Jane floated around in his head then. Their laughter and their words telling him he needed to stay strong so there wouldn't be any more Dirks or Jenna's or anyone else. The gun uncocked. Then Dirk floated back into his mind and he sighed, putting the gun off to the side. He'd contemplated the gun so many times that it just felt dull at this point. He had to think of the girls and little Jade whenever she did come along. Dirk had told him to protect them at all costs.
He drank back the rest of the glass and went to lay on his couch tiredly. Hitting the mute button on the television he laid down completely, staring up at the ceiling without a word edgewise. He heard the elevator whirl in the center between their four apartment doors. Jane and Roxy still left their doors wide open and they always put a lock on their lift now not just anyone would wander their way up. Jake on the other hand, had started to shut his door much like Dirk had. The door had remained shut too, with only Jane going in to clean or Jake… going in just to lay on his bed now and then, breath in what little scent remained of him. There was a thought that the scent would never return and he swallowed, feeling his chest and throat tighten so hard he couldn't breathe for a moment. He'd been quite the 'cry-baby' when he was younger, only backing off of it as he reached adulthood and his own self-worth returning. But this time he agreed that it was worth a few tears- more than a few- when it came to Dirk.
God, he missed him already. He heard the lift door open with a shriek and figured that Roxy had managed to come home earlier from the night shift and didn't hear the footsteps. She'd stopped wearing heels after her first hour there so he figured she'd just worn her nurse shoes.
xXx
Dirk looked around the hallway where all their apartments met. They had eventually painted their doors after Roxy binged so hard that she fell in on both he and Jake, being very naked at the time, thinking it was her bed. For some reason Roxy could tell colors a lot better than a lot of other things when she was drunk. He hoped she had kept away from the alcohol since he'd been gone… the girl was too intelligent, too amazing, to be washing away any coherent thought with a fifty proof or higher beverage. The girls' doors were open, but he didn't hear any activity from any room aside from a television roaring from Jake's apartment that seemed to mute right before he opened the door to the lift. He wondered if he should go into his apartment first and see if they had moved him out… or if he should go see the girls instead of facing Jake… or if he should just… go where his heart told him to. He drew in a deep breath and let the latter guide him, as his feet turned toward the green door. He raised his fist slowly, trying to calm his racing heart. He didn't know why he was so damn nervous all of a sudden. The image of Jake asking him why he'd bothered to come back kept playing in his head and he dutifully pushed it back down. He knocked very softly at first, barely making a sound. Then louder as his inner voice called him a chicken.
Jake moved up from the couch, a sigh on his lips. The girls had taken to knocking before entering, fearing they might find something neither of them wanted to see. And he didn't mean his naked backside either. He had his eyes shut when he pulled the door open at first, "Roxy, I've told you, you can come in just like before even if the door is-… closed…" His voice faded as he realized it wasn't the right blonde who was standing there. His jaw dropped as Dirk stood there with a confused, openly worried expression. "H-Hey…" Dirk whispered, "I um… tried to call." He gave a half panicked laugh, "But uh, I don't have a cell and- well, I didn't have my accounts open for change for a… payphone." He mumbled, orange eyes' searching Jake's who just stared back.
Dirk fidgeted with the end of his light orange hoodie and Jake finally spoke. "We're… We're just going to have to change that won't we." He whispered and Dirk gave him a small smile. Jake left his post at the door and threaded his fingers through his hair, kissing him so deeply that it hurt and relieved their souls. Dirk's hands went to his neck, and they melted together. All thoughts of the coming war, being left behind, the prison and the anger from the past just faded away in the wake of contact. He had to break for air, and he looked back up at Jake, who was still taller than him. He'd been upset with that when he'd first realized that years ago, since when they were younger he was the taller of the two until Jake had suddenly sprouted. Dirk brushed his fingers over his cheek, seeing how red his eyes were and tasting the alcohol on him only now that it was over.
"I know what you said before." Jake whispered, "About us not being together and I… I can't. I love you too much. I've done horrible things to you and I'm sorry… so unbelievably sorry. I thought you were dead and I just-…" He shook his head and Dirk kissed him again, very gently now, so he wouldn't have to go on. "I know." Dirk smiled at him, a gentle look in his gaze as he rubbed his thumbs across the skin of Jake's neck. "I love you too. And I'm not dead. I wanted to keep you safe, so I pushed you away. But I'm done trying to dig my grave and bury myself in it with regret." He pressed a kiss to his chin, Jake sighed, "Please stay." He hugged him tightly and Dirk laughed softly, "I'm not going anywhere, Jake. I'm yours." He returned the embrace, resting his head on his shoulder. "I'm home."
xXx
There were shrieks of delight from both the girls when they found Jake and Dirk together later on in the night. They all sat together, clinging to each other like Dirk might turn to smoke right before their eyes. Dirk honestly wasn't used to so much physical contact at once, but for some reason, didn't mind it with his friends.
Roxy had cried, and so had Jane, both were so utterly relieved to have him back. Kisses and hugs were shared. Both had called in sick to their respective jobs and spent the time with him. Not leaving his side for more than a few moments as he recounted what happened to him in prison without reference to his hallucinations or his relationship with Kar. He'd tell Jake eventually, but not yet. He felt it was too soon to let him know about Kar, although from the explanations he'd received from the others about what had happened to them in the last several months, it seemed like Jake had strayed too. They both seemed to find the same answer though: Later. All the bad that they had experienced would be dealt with later.
This was the time for smiles and laughter, happy tears and breathing without weight on their chests. Eventually all of them had fallen asleep somehow, leaving Dirk to be the last one awake. He watched the news report as they wrapped around him in their respective areas, all sprawled out on the couch: Roxy across his legs, Jake by his shoulder and Jane around his waist. Dirk let out a slow breath, leaning back against the couch from where he was on the floor. He watched a muted television with subtitles as the state senator, the one running for president soon, came on the screen to give a speech about the recent prison fiasco. The blond frowned at it, blinking hard to see her walk across the stage and give a speech. She slowly took off her glasses to look into the camera, seemingly making it look like she was being completely honest with the crowd she was addressing. He felt fear take hold of his heart. Those eyes were unmistakable.
Her Empress Condescension.