By the time help arrived Jethro was speaking. He was crying for Tony and insisting that he did not need help. He had attempted suicide, it was clear he had attempted suicide. He was being taken to the hospital. At least for observation.
"I don't want to go. I want Tony. I want to be dead." Jethro rambled.
"I know Jethro but Anthony would not want it that way." Ducky explained.
"Who is Anthony?" One of the EMT's asked.
"He worked for Jethro. He was more of a son." Ducky explained.
"What happened?" The second EMT asked.
"Cancer, it was aggressive and fast moving. They didn't have time." Ducky explained.
"Oh" The first EMT whispered.
The lights in the hospital hallway were sharply bright. The lights in Jethro's room were painfully dull. Jethro was haunted by memories of the last time he saw Anthony. This was the last place he wanted to be. It was a different ward in a different hospital, but it may as well have been the same room, same bed. He wished they had listened and not taken him. Normally they would not but he was considered incompetent. He was considered crazy. He wished that damn railing hadn't broken. He wished that he was with Tony. He wished that he would be happy again. He would never be happy again. Not without Anthony.
Lucky those were the words the doctor had used. Actually it was extremely lucky. Leroy Jethro Gibbs had gotten extremely lucky. Even after hanging himself and falling several feet when the railing broke. He managed to escape with only a serious case of whiplash and rope burn. He broke two ribs and injured his knee in the fall. Both were serious but considering there was nothing but pure luck keeping him from a broken neck. Those injuries were pretty minor. They would keep inpatient at least over night. From there he would have a psychiatric evaluation. More than likely a stay in a mental hospital would be the next step.
"He's asking for you." Anthony's doctor announced.
"Visiting hours are over." Ducky reminded.
"Special circumstances." The doctor explained.
Ducky made his way down the hall to Jethro's room. He knew he would be berated when he entered. The thing that hurt the most was knowing he would not have found Jethro if the railing had not broken. If he had not heard Jethro crash down to the floor. He would not have found him until morning or later. He would have been cold and void of life. Ducky knew that Jethro was desperately missing Anthony but he needed to keep fighting.
"Why the hell did you call for help?" Jethro demanded.
"I could not bear to watch you die on the floor." Ducky explained.
"But I don't want to fight." Jethro hissed.
"I know Jethro but Anthony wants you too." Ducky reminded.
"If Tony wanted me to fight. He wouldn't have given up so easily!" Jethro snapped.
"He did not give up easily." Ducky reminded.
"Then why is he dead?! Why did he die so soon?" Jethro demanded.
"The cancer was aggressive. There was nothing to be done. No matter how hard our dear Anthony fought." Ducky explained.
"He could have stayed longer." Jethro scoffed.
Gibbs buried his face in the pillow. With any luck he would suffocate. Being under suicide watch, an accidental suffocation was his only hope. He closed his eyes, fought to slow his breath and dozed off. Praying that he would wake in Tony's presence.
"Good Lord!" A nurse cried yanking the pillow off of his head.
"Leave me alone! Let me die!" Jethro pleaded.
Jethro had made another attempt on his life. He was so desperate to die, that he had tried to smother himself. He was lying up in the psych ward sobbing and begging for death. Doctors and nurses were coming out of his room every twenty minutes. He was an extreme suicide risk. He was facing at least seventy two hours. Once he was home. He could not be alone. Ducky would have to spend all of his time caring for Jethro. He did not mind but he felt bad knowing he would not be able to help the Palmer's out with Tali. He could not handle a suicidal Leroy Jethro Gibbs and an emotionally crushed Tali DiNozzo.
The psych ward. The fucking psych ward! Gibbs could not believe they had moved him up to the psych ward. He was absolutely livid. Ducky had betrayed his trust. Just letting him be taken up to the fucking psych ward. He did not want to be in this ward. Weren't there rules? Didn't he have the right to say no? He sure thought that he did. Apparently not though.
"GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!" Jethro demanded.
Jethro had been sedated. He had begun to scream and demand to be released. When a nurse came to check him over. He attacked her. He grabbed her wrist and shoved her down onto the bed. She chipped a tooth and broke her glasses. She was shaken but going to be just fine. She was fine but Jethro was in hot water. They sedated him. He was going to be out most of the day. He was going to be in the hospital for a while. The words the doctors said at the end of this speech rang and bounced around in Ducky's head.
"I am sorry that your friend may not get better."
In his dreams Gibbs saw Tony. He saw the strong and healthy Tony he had come to love. The strong healthy Tony who had left the world far too soon. He saw Tony as a federal agent and in his first days as Tali's father. Even those first days back in the states. Even when Tony was sick. He was so strong. At least until the very end. He reached out to touch his son but he could never reach him. It was the cruelest feeling of all.
A/N: Will Tony be able to talk some sense into Tony? New chapter will be up soon. Thanks for reading and please review.