Let me start off by saying I deeply appreciate all the readers I have and the fact that so many of you take the time to leave a review. I love reading your feedback. You guys rock! Here's the next chapter. Enjoy

Casey pretty much keeps to herself the rest of the evening. After her shower she goes into our bedroom and sits on the bed on her laptop. I don't let her be in there alone for long.

"Casey, I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am. I feel awful. I love you so much and I forgot your birthday. And then I insulted you. No words can express how terrible I feel."

She again tells me it's "all right," but I don't let it go that easily.

"You should be angry with me, Casey. I deserve to have you yell at me. You're being way too nice and understanding with me. I know this has hurt you. I can tell by the way you're acting. Don't pretend you aren't hurt. Stop hiding your feelings from me. Tell me how you really feel; scream at me and tell me I'm the worst girlfriend in the world."

I'm actually begging my girlfriend to be angry with me. This is probably a universal first. But I can't stand it that Casey is letting me off the hook so easily. If our roles were reversed, I'd be so angry at Casey that I'd make her sleep on the couch for a week and I'd give her the silent treatment for a couple days. But Casey? Casey isn't mad. Not even a little. She's hurt. And that's worse.

Casey finally looks up from her laptop and manages a small smile. "Stop it, Alex. I'm not going to get angry with you. And you are not the worst girlfriend in the world. Far from it. These things happen. I don't know why I even told you; I shouldn't have. I'm sorry. I didn't want to make you feel badly."

Unbelievable. She's apologizing? She doesn't want to make me feel badly?

What in the world did I do to deserve this woman? She's almost too perfect. It's like I found her outside my door one day with a sign around her neck that read 'From God'.

"You told me because you're hurt about the stupid insensitive thing I did and even though you don't realize it, you wanted me to know you were hurt. God, I'm sorry Casey!"

I feel like I'm repeating myself over and over. And I guess, really, I am. But what else can I say? I am truly sorry and as long as Casey keeps acting as if this is no big deal I'm not going to feel any better. I need her to give me some sort of reaction other than "it's all right."

I suddenly realize that Casey isn't wearing her usual post-shower attire. Usually after her evening shower Casey will get into what she calls her "lounge garb" - basically a pair of her plaid pajama pants and one of her oversized band t-shirts. This is pretty much every night. But tonight she's wearing a pair of khaki capris and a tight-fitting white tee. This is not like Casey at all. But I know why - it's because of what I said about how she dresses.

I love Casey's plaid pants and her band shirts - I even love her torn jeans. Just because it isn't my style doesn't mean Casey shouldn't wear it. It fits her personality. It's who she is.

At least it was, until I opened my mouth and made her feel bad about what she chooses to wear.

You're a real winner, Cabot. Truly.

"Alex, forget it. It's really okay. Stop obsessing." Casey looks away from me back to her laptop screen.

But I won't stop obsessing. I can't. "Casey…" I sigh, mostly because I don't know what else to say. I approach the bed. "We really need to - "

"Alex," Casey says sharply, her tone startling me. Her eyes are on me again and I stop dead in my tracks. "I would like you to please stop talking about it. You apologized and I accepted your apology." Her eyes go back to her computer. "I really would like some alone time if you don't mind. I need to work on something. We'll talk later, okay?"

I respect her wishes and retreat towards the bedroom door, but not before I tell Casey I love her. She meets my eyes once more and returns the sentiment but hearing her say the words only makes me feel worse.

I know she's hurting pretty badly. Casey never wants to be alone. She's such a chatterbox around me and doesn't let me out of her sight for more than ten minutes when we're home. She has to be either sitting next to me touching me in some way or able to see me while she runs her mouth.

God, what did I do?

I barely sleep at all that night.

Casey actually stays on her side of the bed and makes no attempt to move towards me or touch me in her usual manner. Usually I become her human pillow or she pulls me close to her and wraps her arms around me, but not tonight. Tonight she goes right to sleep without her customary chitchat while I lay there awake and alone, Casey's steady breathing the only sound I hear. I'd do anything to replace it with Casey's voice.

I reflect on everything Casey has done for me since we've been together. She healed my broken heart and has made me laugh more than I thought was possible. I've never been one to laugh much, but I've found I really do have a sense of humor. Maybe it came to when Casey did or maybe she brought it out in me; either way, I'm grateful to have it.

Casey has given me a wonderful perspective on life. I'm less tentative now than I used to be. The pre-Casey Alex would never have swam naked in her parent's backyard pool or tooled around on a scooter.

She does way more for me than I do for her, and I know it. Since she's moved in with me, she takes care of all the housework. She vacuums and dusts, cleans the bathroom and mops the tiled floors. She cooks for me. Not because I expect of even want her to; but because she wants to. She always gets to it all before I have a chance to, and justifies it by saying I'm way busier than she is. Of course that isn't true, but it's what Casey says.

So what do I do? I let Casey do everything for me. I like the way she keeps house and cooks for me. And I know this is selfish.

And how do I repay my wonderful girlfriend? I fly off the handle at her, insult the way she dresses and what she likes to do, and I forget her birthday. Casey may not think I'm the worst girlfriend in the world, but I sure do.

By the time Saturday morning finally comes I've had about three hours sleep but I also have an idea playing around in my head. Something nice I can do for Casey, to redeem myself a little for what I did yesterday.

I'm going to take her to the beach. The little beach she took me to at the beginning of summer on her scooter. The beach where we kissed. I'm going to re-create the feelings we shared there. I'm going to sit in the sand and have a heart-to-heart with Casey. Then I'm going to walk hand-in-hand on the shore with her.

And then tonight I'm going to present her with a dozen white roses and actually cook dinner myself. As long as I don't burn the kitchen down.

I get up before Casey and make her breakfast for once. Although I'm not fond of bacon, Casey loves it. So I throw some in the skillet and take down her favorite glass from the cabinet. I check the fridge - thank God we have Mountain Dew. I chuckle to myself - besides Casey, who the heck does soda with breakfast?

Casey wanders into the kitchen before her breakfast is finished. She looks half-asleep and is standing in the middle of the kitchen watching me be "domestic" in amusement.

"Good morning, babe!" I greet cheerfully, going to her and giving her a kiss. I resolve to not apologize again right now or even bring up the events of the previous day. I don't want her getting upset with me again. I want this to be a good day.

Casey kisses me back and falls into her usual chair at the table. "Are you actually making me breakfast?"

I flip the bacon over in the skillet and nod. "Yes. And I haven't burnt myself or caught the apartment on fire yet, so I'd say I'm doing a great job."

"I'm impressed."

As soon as Casey says that I decide the bacon is done and I make up a plate for Casey. I give her three pieces and leave room for the eggs I'm going to prepare next.

"How do you want your eggs today?" I ask as I spin around to face Casey.

Her amusement has grown. "No eggs. Just the bacon is fine. I'm actually scared to have you make me eggs."

I take the plate of bacon to Casey and then fill up her glass with ice. I grab a can of Mountain Dew from the fridge and sit that down in front of her as well. "Your beverage, my love."

Casey looks down at her bacon in approval. "It looks wonderful. What are you having?"

"I'll just make some toast in a minute." I sit down in my chair across from Casey. "I want to tell you about some plans I had for today." Casey nods her consent so I start talking. "Remember the beach you took me to on your scooter that night? Where we kissed?"

After a long sip of soda, Casey says, "Of course I remember. Why?"

"Well, I want to take you there today."

Casey starts laughing. Actually laughing out loud. "Seriously, Alex? In case you haven't noticed, it's November. And it's supposed to be really cold today. And besides all that, you don't have a car. How are you taking me?"

I let a smile creep across my face. "I thought I'd drive your car. And so what if it's November…we both have coats. It's not like there's snow. I really want to go."

Casey takes a break from her bacon and looks at me questioningly. "Why? Just because you feel bad about yesterday?"

Her tone is bitter and her words sting, causing me to cringe. Casey picks up on it and immediately apologizes. "I'm sorry; I shouldn't have said that. I didn't mean it."

"Yes, you did. But that's okay," I tell her, reaching across the table to squeeze her hand. "And yes, it does have something to do with yesterday. I just want to go back to where we shared that special moment. We were lying on our backs looking at the constellations and when I kissed you…it felt magical. It's where 'we' started, and I want to revisit it with you. And I think now is a good time to do that."

Casey sighs. "Even though that kiss was wonderful, that is not a time I want to go back to. In case you don't remember, that evening didn't end well for me. After I kissed you back, you ran away from me and avoided me for three days. You really hurt me. I don't like thinking about that."

I feel my heart sink. I remember that all too well. The devastated look on Casey's face as I walked to my cab. The sadness in her eyes when I told her days later that she meant nothing to me. God, I was hurtful even then…why does she stay with me? I'm reminded of what she said when I went to her apartment to apologize for the whole debacle - she said she was giving me one last chance and that if I hurt her again we were done.

Well that chance has come a few times over and we're still together. I think I just realized what a thin line I'm walking.

As soon as we get to the beach it's pretty clear that this little venture isn't go to go exactly as planned. Not only is it unusually cold for November today, but the fences are up on the beach. As well as the dreaded "Beach Closed" sign.

Casey stares out the window and then looks at me hopefully. "Okay. It's closed. So we can go home now? Back to the apartment instead of treading through sand in the near-freezing weather?"

I let a devilish grin break out across my face. Suddenly I'm feeling very much like Casey. It's like we've switched personalities. Here she is wanting to leave and go do something boring, and I have ideas of something exhilarating and so unlike me running through my mind.

Without a word I open my car door and go around to Casey's side to open hers. As soon as I do, I'm greeted with a groan from my redheaded girlfriend. "Alex, I really don't want to do this…"

I hold my hand out, inviting her to take it. "Come on, Case. Are you going to let a 'beach closed' sign stop you?"

She glares at me. "No. I'm going to let the freezing air and my hatred for this idea stop me."

"Too bad." I grab her hand and pull her up out of the seat. "You're coming anyway."

She follows me obediently, still grumbling about not wanting to do this. I have to admit it is cold. I adjust the scarf around my neck, but the chill still seems to go through me.

Casey looks so cute in her blue wool coat. But she didn't bring a hat and her ears are already turning red. I'm about to lecture her for neglecting to bring warmer clothes but I bite my tongue. This day is supposed to be about Casey; she doesn't need me nagging her.

I grab Casey's hand and point at the beach excitedly. "Where were we sitting? Do you remember?"

Casey looks at me as if I'm crazy. "Um, no, I don't remember. We were sitting in the sand. On a beach. No landmarks around, Alex. It could have been anywhere."

I don't like the tone of voice she's using with me. She's irritated and she isn't shy about letting me know it. We walk a little further and it's me doing all the talking as Casey trudges along beside me.

Finally, I can't take her silence anymore. This was supposed to be special. As special as that day in June. I can't help it that it's cold. I can't help it that the beach is closed. But Casey doesn't have to walk around sulking; after all, I'm doing this for her.

"Casey, you could act a little bit more excited about being here. I came here for you," I finally say.

"And you could have remembered my birthday," she snaps at me. I briefly look at her and for the first time I see resentment in her eyes. She sighs and shakes her head, her resentment vanishing as quickly as it appeared. "Sorry. Forget I said that. I'm cold. Let's go back to the car."

She sidesteps me but I grab her arm to stop her. "Damn it, Casey, I said I'm sorry! I brought you here - "

"Because you were obligated to do so," she finishes for me. "You never would have done this if I hadn't told you that you had forgotten my birthday. We'd be at the dealership right now getting you a car. Admit it, Alex; you brought me here out of guilt. You couldn't come up with anything unique or special so you brought me to the place where you first broke my heart."

I have to look away from her as the realization that she's right hits me. Lying in bed awake for nearly eight hours last night gives me only this horrible idea to show for it. I really couldn't come up with something better. And I'm deeply disappointed in myself.

"I'm sorry, Casey; I'm not as spontaneous or clever as you. I really wanted today to be a special day for you."

"Yesterday should have been a special day for me," she replies quickly. My heart breaks as I see her eyes filling with tears. "If you hadn't insisted on doing this…never mind. Why did you keep bringing it up? I told you it was okay. I told you not to bring it up anymore. But you kept bringing it up and now I'm going to tell you how I really felt yesterday. How you made me feel."

I swallow harshly. "Good. I want you to."

"It hurt like hell that the person I love forgot my birthday. To not get a card or even a verbal 'happy birthday' from you. And as I told you, I held on to the hope that you had a surprise waiting for me at the apartment and that's why you were acting like you forgot. I was in anticipation all day. I thought I'd come home and find a candlelit dinner or you wearing something sexy for me, or at least a cake. But instead I came home to an empty apartment and when you finally walked through the door, you ranted at me. You yelled at me for something ridiculous, you made fun of the way I dress, and you made it clear that you think I 'play' at my job while you work hard all day. Guess what, Alex? I work just as hard as you do. The only difference between us is that when I walk out of that building at the end of the day, I leave my job right there. I don't bring it home with me. I shift into personal mode and then all I want to do is be with you. But you - you always have your job with you. You bring the stress home and you release it on the most undeserving person - me. And usually I can deal with that, Alex, but why did you have to do it on my birthday?"

I feel horrible now. Worse than horrible. It feels like someone is twisting my insides. Casey has to wipe her eyes with the sleeve of her coat and she turns away from me so I don't see her crying. I reach out and grab her shoulder, but she shakes me off. "Don't. Just don't. I didn't want to say anything. I knew it would make you feel bad. But you forced me to. Unlike you I don't like hurting the people I love."

"You think I like doing that? I don't mean to hurt you, Casey! And you're right - I do hold more tightly to my job than you do. I can't just leave it behind the way you can. I envy your ability to do that. And it's going to be harder for me now. I have a position that I actually care about and people that I need to stay in good with. If I want to further myself, I have to do the best job possible. And I promise to never do that at the expense of our relationship, but you have to understand that I can't let go as easily as you can. You do come first, but my job matters."

Casey laughs bitterly. "As much as you love me - and I know you do - your career will always come first. I know that. I've always known that. And so do you. But I guess I thought I would at least come second. Because I'm the one who loves you, Alex. Not your ADAs. Not the Attorney General. Not your posh office. Me. The fact that you care about that artificial crap more than me hurts. Maybe it shouldn't, but I can't help it. I've given you my whole heart and I still trust you with it, but you can't do this to me. You have to stop treating me like I don't matter. I do matter, Alex. I do matter."

Her words have hit me like a ton of bricks. I never expected to hear her say that. I took advantage of Casey's ability to forgive so easily and therefore allowed myself to be under the impression that she'd always be there, despite any mistakes I made.

I'm about to speak but the words fail on my tongue. It's probably just as well; I would have said the wrong thing anyway. All I can do is watch Casey walk back to the car. She gets in the passenger side and slams the door angrily.

What a strange role reversal - the last time we were on this beach it was Casey who stood in my place and watched me walk away from her. After I broke her heart for the first time.

Saturday night finds me unable to sleep again. Casey once more keeps to her side of the bed. It's amazing how much I miss her head on my chest and her arms around me. I've discovered I can't sleep without her touch.

We spent the evening together but Casey is still keeping me at a cool distance. I wanted to take her out to dinner but she didn't feel like it so we stayed in and watched a movie on Netflix I was sure Casey would like. But instead of cuddling with me on the couch while watching, she sat in the recliner on her laptop while I sat on the couch by myself. Barely two words were exchanged between us. It was brutal, devastating, excruciating.

What have I done? How could I forget Casey's birthday? We talked about it on Sunday while driving home from her parent's house…it's not as if I didn't know it was coming up. I remember thinking I was going to make it special for her, make her a home cooked meal without burning down the apartment and then take her for a midnight walk and end it by giving her a gift when we came home. I was excited at the prospect of making Casey feel special. But what did I do instead? I worked late that day, forgot her birthday, and came home and yelled at her for something that wasn't even her fault. Happy birthday, Casey.

It's after two AM when I can't take the no-sleep anymore. I get out of bed softly, careful not to wake my sleeping girlfriend. I go into the kitchen to get a drink of water and take an Aspirin for the slight headache I have. Once I've swallowed the pill, I sit down at the kitchen table and rest my head in my hands.

I feel so bad right now. It's indescribable. I love Casey so much and everything I tried to do for her today backfired on me. And she had been right when she told me I was only doing it out of obligation - I was. I had to do something to make up for forgetting her special day. Taking her to the beach was supposed to be special.

And then it hits me like a ton of bricks and I understand why Casey had been so upset with me about our beach trip. It wasn't because the beach is where I first broke her heart. It's because I wasn't acting from my heart and she could feel it.

I didn't want to take Casey there. I wanted a romantic evening for the two of us that ended with Casey falling asleep with a big smile on her face. But since I missed the day I felt I needed to put something together quickly to show Casey how special she is and how sorry I was. I came up with it in an hour and didn't take the time to plan it out. Casey had been right; doing something out of obligation is not the same as doing something out of love.

Casey deserves an act of love from me. I know now what I have to do.

I look at my watch again. It's two-twenty-three. It's late, but not too late. This is New York - nothing closes.

I sneak back into our bedroom and quietly dress inside our walk-in closet. I grab my jacket on the way out of the bedroom and close the door as softly as I can. I cringe as it creaks and hesitate outside the door, listening for any indication that Casey has awakened. But she hasn't. Casey is a pretty heavy sleeper. I practically have to slap her to get her to wake up.

I scribble out a note and leave it on the fridge just in case Casey wakes up and wonders where I am. Then I grab her car keys and head out the door.

I'm back from the all-night grocery store in less than an hour. To my immense relief, Casey is still in bed. There's no sign that she's been up or found my note.

I take a huge chance and turn the kitchen lights on. I know it may wake Casey, but I can't pull this off in the dark. And besides, our bedroom is far enough from the kitchen that she may never even know. I need to get this done quickly. I want to be done by the time Casey wakes up.

I unpack my bags. I bought everything required to make a cake. Not that I ever have, but how hard could it be? Besides, Casey is more than worth it. I picked out whipped vanilla frosting and a tube of blue icing so I can personalize the cake. I find myself smiling - I think Casey will love this.

I follow the directions on the back of the cake mix box carefully. But for some reason, my cake doesn't turn out. One half of it collapses in the oven and I manage to over-bake it.

What the heck is it about me and kitchen appliances? Why am I unable to cook, bake, or make coffee? I'm an intelligent, educated person and yet a simple birthday cake has proven to be too much for me.

I'm so disappointed. I really wanted to make a great birthday cake for Casey. Of course I could pick up a pre-made cake at a bakery, but that wouldn't be the same. I sigh heavily as I lean over my failed attempt at a cake in the cake pan and I wonder if it's salvageable. Besides being collapsed on one end and a little dark, it still looks edible. So I wait for it cool and then spread the frosting over the top. I'm a little impressed that I actually managed to make the frosting look presentable.

But when I uncap the tube of blue icing and attempt to personalize the cake, I fail yet again. Icing comes out in gobs as I attempt to write. I don't think the words 'Happy Birthday Casey, I Love You' have ever looked worse. My usually neat writing looks more like a second grader wrote it. I can't help but smirk. This didn't turn out exactly how I wanted it to, but somehow I think this is better. It's going to show Casey that I know I'm not perfect and that I tried because I love her. And she'll think it's cute…I'm sure of that.

I cover the cake pan with tin foil and place it on the counter and then get to work cleaning up my mess. I'm sure the sound of me clanging around and starting the dishwasher is going to wake Casey, but surprisingly it doesn't.

After I start the dishwasher, I sit back down at the table and take out the card I bought for Casey. I stood in front of the card rack for what seemed like an eternity checking out every one until my eyes fell upon this one special card. The background is a lavender color with glitter and the front is adorned with butterflies and flowers. An odd choice for a birthday card but it's adorable, just like the person I bought it for it.

Another reason I selected it is because it was larger than the rest, allowing me a bigger area to write my own sentiment. I start with the usual happy birthday wishes, and then I follow it up with "I love you because," and suddenly I'm writing more swiftly than I ever have. The reasons I'm listing come without me even having to think about them, and before I even realize it, I've filled the entire blank left side of the card and overflowed under the factory-printed message on the right side. I don't even re-read what I've written. I don't need to. I wrote the truth, from my heart.

I tuck the card back into the envelope and write Casey's name on it, then I prop it up against her cake.

I've accomplished this all before five AM. I think I've set some kind of record. But I'm not finished yet.

Casey left her laptop in the living room last night so I grab it and start it up. As I'm opening her internet browser, I can't help but notice that this computer is really nice. The keyboard types practically noiselessly and though I'm not utilizing the touch screen it still appears to be nice. No wonder Casey loves this so much. I'm so glad I bought it for her.

I log onto eBay and start my search. Never in a million years did I think I would ever be sitting in my living room in the wee hours of the morning searching eBay for an old retro video game system. But that's exactly what I'm doing.

I had conversation with Casey's mother when Casey had been asleep with her migraine last weekend. Her mother had told me about how it was for Casey growing up, how they couldn't give her or her brother much but they were still happy. She had told me Casey was a smart, good kid and they tried to give her everything they could. She had wanted an Atari, which, at the time, was the top of the line video game system. They tried for several years to get her one for Christmas, but could never afford it. Casey never got her Atari.

In the age of Xbox and the Wii, it seems silly to purchase an old system from the 70's and honestly, Casey would have no use for it now. But it would mean something to her; and it would show her that I do pay attention, that I do care about what she likes and doesn't like.

My search on eBay is unsuccessful, so I check Craigslist and find two local listings. I shoot an email to both sellers and cross my fingers that at least one of them will still have the Atari available.

The Atari is a little extra 'side' gift I'm giving Casey. Her main gift…well, I can't get that until after nine o'clock when the jewelry store opens.

I know exactly what I'm getting her. I looked at it, weeks ago. I had been planning to purchase it for Casey for Christmas…but right now seems a little more appropriate.

At quarter to nine I hide the covered cake pan and card in the food pantry and leave Casey another note. And by the time I return at nearly nine-thirty, she's still asleep.

I'm nervous as I sit the cake pan down on the table and fish the small blue velvet box from the jewelry store out of my coat pocket. It's adorned with a small red ribbon that I find myself playing with nervously as I place it on the table beside the cake.

Before I have to chance to even think about how this is going to go - how Casey is going to react to her gift - she walks into the kitchen.

So what do you think? A lot of tension between the ladies in this one. What do you think Alex's gift is? And do you think this time Casey will be receptive to what Alex did for her? Was it enough to show her love from the heart? Review and let me know what you think! And FYI, Olivia will be back in the next chapter