This is, if I plan it right, the last chapter then an epilog. Love you all. I know that this is late but I DO have an excuse. Its 46 pages long O.O! Yep. Most chapters are 12-17 so I think this is a big deal! Sorry if you like short chapters like me . . . I just wasn't going to mess up my plans to make this how I planned ;) With that all being said, I hope for your feed back and I present to you:
Chapter 25
Cool air rushed out as the door opened, refueling my panic. Memories clawed up my skull, making my vision blurry among the growing tears.
Gran's baby pink and blue blankets were folded perfectly. Little trinkets seemed to have taken over the small space. Her collection was better than I had ever remembered. She had a cleared off bookshelf full of little painted, glass figures. The room smelled of dust and faded perfume.
Gran's lime green walls seemed to become a darker shade in time. But the most disconcerting thing was the coldness. It made the whole room darker.
". . . heat." I choked out. Akira turned to me in confusion. "Get some heat." I whispered.
Whether it was because of my expression or the tremors racking through my body, she took one look at me and ran out. The only sounds filling my ears were the sounds of my heavy breathing and the sound of my front door shutting.
I slowly backed away, my eyes shut to keep me away from the room. But luck seemed to be blessing some one else besides me. I backed right into the doorframe. My back pains flared up angrily.
I ignored the pain and slid to the floor. I wouldn't look. I couldn't. My heart ached. All my fault. All my fault.
Gran.
The cold seemed to be getting stronger. I felt submerged in ice. My world was ice, yet now it seemed to mock me and laugh at my pain. What kind of pathetic being was I?
I heard footsteps coming toward the room. I ignored them. When did my head fall into my hands, or my knees to my chest?
"Hurry!"
"I am! I am! Where is . . . ah!"
There was a weird cracking sound then heat flooded around me, tickling my skin.
"Toshirou!" My eyes opened to Akira's voice. She was knelt next to me. "Calm down. Shh. Calm down. You're freezing the floor." I looked down in shock. There was, in fact, a circle of thin ice surrounding me.
I looked away shamed. Another loss of control. I saw Kenaka standing by Akira with a red glowing blade held in his hand. So that is where the heat was coming from. Kenaka's zanpakto.
"What's wr-" Kenaka was cut off with a look from Akira. He slowly walked out of the room, leaving Akira and myself in the room, Gran's room, alone.
"Toshirou?" Akira tried to catch my eye, but I avoided her gaze with determination. "Sweetie, what's wrong?" She whispered. I slipped and looked into her deep blue eyes.
"Sorry, I just . . . it's just my . . . back." I fumbled with the lie. I could see her heart break in her eyes. I didn't trust her with such a secret? No, this wasn't trust. This was self-disgust.
"You know you can t-tell me anything right?" Akira half begged. Could I?
I couldn't lie to that face.
"She would still be here if I wasn't . . ." I cut off.
"If you weren't what?"
"A monster." I spat. Unexplained anger welled up inside me. Akira gasped.
"You're not a-"
"YES I AM!" I snapped at the floor. "I'm a monstrosity. A miscreation." Angry tears filled my eyes. "Everyone knew, even when I was young. The other children avoided me because they could sense the danger that went along with my abnormal white hair and pale eyes and skin." I got up and looked around the room again, my anger dieing as I took in the objects.
"Toshirou, plenty of people don't think you're a monster. You have friends." Akira said softly. Her voice meant to heal.
"But Gran never looked at me different for anything." I continued, pretending not to hear her. Akira needed to know what was wrong with me. "She never lost patience with my cold attitude or my icy stares. She would celebrate with me, mourn with me, even banter with me. I was no one odd or weird to her. I loved her.
"But, happiness never lasts, does it? It appeared I was more of a freak than even I knew. She always complained how it got cold too easy in the house. Neither of us could find out why. We needed to. Gran was getting thinner and thinner, and sickly pale.
"That night we both decided to sleep in her room, because it was always the warmest, even in all the random mist-like cold. I had had a bad day. I went to get ingredients for dinner at the local store and the man at the counter refused to even touch me. No one touched something repulsive like me. I didn't blame him. It happened all the time.
"But that day someone scolded him for it. I saw her as just some random lady. I left with my stuff as soon as I could and ran home, ate dinner, and joined Gran in her room for the night." I stopped and cleared my throat.
It was too late. Akira would go back to her family after this and never return to me. But, that was how it should be. Any logical person could see that. And I was famous for my logic.
"Over the years I had, unknowingly, been building up spiritual pressure. The pressure was getting stronger and stronger. Much stronger than normal for a child of my size and age. Way to early for me to control. Way to much power for me to control. During my dream Hyorinmaru, a zanpakto spirit, came to me and told me his name. I was terrified. A giant dragon with red eyes made out of ice." I patted my blade fondly. Akira didn't speak, or try to.
"Then, the next thing I knew I was being shaken awake by the very same lady in the shop. She looked panicked. She told me to calm down . . . I . . . was losing control. I looked around and everything was covered in ice. Yet, I didn't feel cold. Then I noticed Gran. Like everything else, she was covered as well. The lady told me to come with her, grabbed Gran, and held out her hand.
"See, the lady was a soul reaper and knew what to do. She knew how to fix my mistake. She flash-stepped all of us to district four to see the head medical examiner, Unohanna. I was left in the waiting room while Gran was taken away." I stopped to catch myself. I heard Akira's intake of breath.
"Did she . . .?" Akira trailed off.
"Make it?" I asked, facing the wall. "Yeah. Gran was fit enough to see me within a few hours. But Unohanna had news for us. See, it was me who was creating the cold in our home. I was the reason Gran was so thin and pale. I had been slowly killing her. By staying with me for all those years she had lost forty years off her life. I had given her a time limit." One of the warm tears spilled over. I wiped it away quickly.
"Oh, Toshirou . . ." Akira murmured. She walked over and wrapped her small, slender arms around me. I flinched at the contact, but made no move to shove them away.
"She didn't even-" My voice caught. I cleared it and started again. "She didn't even blame me, Akira." A sob ripped through me, destroying my pride. "She just held me and comforted me. She comforted me. Even though this was all my fault she-" I cut off.
Akira held me, her tears leaking into the back of my shirt. I barely even registered the pain from her face pressing into my bruised back. The pain from losing Gran was coming back full force, but with an unexplained ease to my heart. Was it because I told Akira? I listened closely to her quiet sobs. She was crying for me.
"Akira?" I whispered. Her head shot up, her contact breaking with my back, though her arms wrapped around me stayed in place.
"What do you need, honey?" She spoke so fast I had to think to catch up with the words.
"My back-" I began. She instantly squeaked and let go of me. Though the pain lifted, I felt a loss without the contact.
"I am so sorry!" I turned to see her tear streaked face and red-rimmed eyes.
"No." I walked over and wrapped my arms around her, resting my chin on her head, with surprising ease. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have lost control like that. It's, by no means, your fault." I rubbed her back. I was glad she didn't return the favor.
"I'm still sorry. I'm sorry for the loss you faced. I'm sorry for the blame and guilt you placed on yourself. I'm sorry that I didn't see the troubles you were facing, and took advantage of your kindness while you watched over my family." She mumbled into my shoulder. I pulled her away angrily to look at her face.
"I never took care of you and your . . . no . . . that wont work. They are my family too, now. I took care of them willingly and I've enjoyed every moment with them." Then I gasped. I had not only fallen in love with Akira, but I had fallen in love with her family.
No cold hearted Captain would fall for that, would they? I scrunched up my eyebrows and glared at the floor past Akira's shoulder. Then I caught my reflection in the mirror on Gran's wall.
My shocking shade of blue eyes stared back, confused and shocked. The face was the same, but the expression was . . . unknown to the features that made it. My white hair was still the same, though a little longer than I remembered. When did this all happen? Something in my features seemed . . . less childlike.
"Toshirou? What's wrong?" Akira asked warily. I looked down at her.
"I just . . . " I tried to convey my feelings to her with my eyes. "I've changed." I looked back towards the mirror.
"Change-" Akira began. "-isn't always a bad thing, right?"
I looked at my face, calculating, in the mirror. Did I like my changed self? My changed self came with fear. Fear of the unknown, the known, and choices that I'd never had to make. I had to get close to others, and therefore left myself open to pain of losing them. I could lose control . . .
But I found tons of people I want to be with. I wanted to know their every secret. I wanted to learn every detail of their lives. I wanted to be part of them.
"Change . . . could be good." I answered finally. Akira smiled.
"Well, I think you'll like change a lot more than you think." I looked down at her.
"I think you're right." I looked around the room. Gran was something my changed self could think about. The pain was still there, but I thirsted for her memory. I missed thinking of her smile.
"Let's go eat some watermelon."
~†~
I awoke with a headache and Akira on my chest. Great way to wake. I slid her off me slowly and padded to the kitchen. Someone had to make breakfast.
Last night Akira and I fell asleep on the couch in the living room. It was simple. It was perfect. I wished she would stay with me every night. But she had a family to get to. They came before me. I could take care of myself. Who knew what Kenaka would do when left alone? I shuddered at the thought.
There was a dull pain in my chest, though that didn't shock me. I went to Gran's room. Pain was expected. But there was a different feeling in me. I was glad, in a way. I was no longer a coward. I had faced my past.
Something a real Captain would do. Hyorinmaru whispered in my head. I smirked. That's right I was a Captain that could face fears and fight for others. That was my duty.
"What are you doing up." A tired grumble came from behind me. "It's too early." Akira rubbed her eyes against her sleeve. Her hair was knotted in almost every place possible. Blues, oranges, pinks, and blues tied together in a great fluffy mass atop her head.
"I am making breakfast." I smiled lightly at her. Her half-asleep eyes sparkled. She settled at the table and stared at me while I cooked sausage. I let her stare. She would speak when she was ready.
"You ok?" her soft whisper cut across the popping grease. Ahh, right to the point. I smiled at her. The lines on her face lessened.
"I'm great." I spoke confidently.
"Good." Akira gave me a strange look and walked over to me. "You're amazing." She kissed my shoulder, wrapping her arms around me from behind.
"How so?" I asked, twirling in her arms. I looked down at her misty, blue eyes.
"I don't think I would be able to confront myself if I ever lost any of my family." She peaked at me from under her lashes. "I wouldn't be able to get out of bed, or be able to look at anything that reminded me of the loss."
"Akira." I said sternly. She looked up, shocked by my tone.
"You know very well that Kohaku, Aya, Kenaka, Taka, Usui, Kanda, Kyo, and every other person represented in that hair of yours would be on your side at all times." I chided. She looked at me, her face scrunching up. I gasped. Was she . . .?
Then the giggles came out.
I gave her a grimace. Why was she laughing at me?
"You . . . just used my hair . . . to represent people!" She giggled. I paused. Huh. That was odd. Never thought I would do that before. Didn't mean she had to laugh at me though . . .
"Think that's funny, huh?" I snuck my arms around her. A smirk crossed her face. "Huh?" I persisted.
Then I attacked.
Akira keeled over in giggles as my hands pinched and grabbed at her sides. She gasped for breath between every outburst.
I grinned at her reddening face. Even her cute, bell-like voice was perfect.
"Ahem." I looked up as someone cleared their throat.
Kenaka, and Captains Ukitake and Kyouraku were all standing in my entryway, looking into the kitchen. What they currently were seeing is: Akira, red faced on the floor, my legs on either side of her pinning her down, and us both breathing heavily.
"Well, well." Captain Kyouraku smiled sheepishly, obviously pleased with the current situation. Why did everyone just walk into my house? No knocking? Was I the only one who knew manners anymore? Embarrassment and anger swelled in me.
"Don't just barge into my house!" I growled, helping the even more red Akira up off the floor. Great, they even embarrassed her.
"Well it sounded like someone was being attacked so we came on in." Captain Ukitake smiled, sliding his long, straight white hair behind his ear.
"Akira was hardly in a great peril in here." I muttered.
"I wouldn't say that, Toshirou." Akira giggled. "I was very scared for my life down there. Who knows for sure how great the danger was?" I was momentarily caught up in how she spoke my name before I noticed what her words entailed.
"If you don't watch it I'll make sure another tickle attack is well on its way." I said. "And you!" I turned to look at the group of people "What are you doing here!"
"Well, you see kiddo, Jushiro here wanted to meet with his fellow white-haired man, and we haven't checked up on you since the incident." Kyouraku grinned. Ukitake just smiled.
"Well, I'm not a child! I can take care of myself perfectly. You may leave now, Captain Kyouraku, Captain Ukitake." I hated people treating me as a weak child.
"But-but I heard you were injured!" Ukitake spoke urgently.
"I'm completely fine." I lied through me teeth. Akira gave a slight scoff and raised her eyebrows. The gesture was not unseen or unheard by the others in the room.
"Fine my butt!" She scolded.
"It is a fine one." Kenaka nodded. Akira smiled at him, before redirecting the glare back at me.
She took a step closer to me. Something about that look in her eye made me take one backwards. She continued. I continued. Until . . .
BAM.
My back collided with the counter. My legs gave out as my bruise was pressed into, grabbing onto the sink before I fell. I sucked in breath through my teeth.
"He's bruised to the bone." Akira's voice spoke, obviously informing my superiors.
"Ahh!" Kyouraku's voice seemed shockingly pleased.
"I said I'm fine." I gasped out.
"Is that black sausage?" Kenaka interrupted. I looked over.
"Shit!" I ran over and tried to flip over the sausage but no luck. It was stuck, blackened to the pan. I sighed, grabbed the pan, and threw the whole thing away.
"I'm not so sure Unohana would agree with you moving around so much." Ukitake said, turning off the heat from where the sausage had burned. I gave him a glare. But no one could remain angry when with Ukitake.
"She gave me permission to leave the medical ward." I reminded them. "And speaking of permission, I didn't give any of you mine to be here!"
"Hey would you guys like to meet the family? Kanda would love to meet you guys! He wants to be a soul reaper, you know." Kenaka lead them out of my door.
"Wait! Wha-?" I hollered after them. Akira handed me my jacket. I sighed.
"We can all go to breakfast again." She smiled, opening the door. The wind blew in, making her shiver. Winter was finally here. I handed her one of my jackets, which she happily wrapped around her thin, curvy frame.
"As long as you're there I'll be okay." I muttered. If two Captains had found their way to my house, no doubt Rangiku would be here in seconds. I looked over. Akira was still shivering.
Hmm . . .
~†~
"That's hilarious!" Kenaka yelled again.
Akira was currently pulling off one of the five jackets I had put on her. While she was peeling off the layers, I was trying to ignore the comments by staying in the kitchen. Let me just say, voices carried crazy in this house.
"I think it's cute!" Aya's voice sang dreamily.
"You said I'm cute, the dieing flowers outside are cute, and the mouse we found under the sink as well." Ichigo said in an amused tone.
"So?" She remarked playfully. I didn't hear his return remark, but there was laughter. I sighed as curiosity got the best of me and I left the kitchen.
"Okay guys!" Akira spoke up, laughter in her voice. "Toshirou was just being nice. He didn't want me to get cold."
"But five jackets?" Ateko giggled.
"Shut up." I mumbled, grabbing the stupid clothing from Akira's arms, so she wouldn't need to carry it.
"Well, you see . . ." came a terribly familiar voice. "Captain is naturally on with ice so he couldn't tell when it was enough." Matsumoto walked through the door with Kenaka, Captain Ukitake, and Captain Kyoraku in step behind her. I hadn't even noticed we had beat them here.
"Mat . . . su . . . . mo . . . to . . ." I pronounced her name as if it were a curse.
"Yes, Captain?" She sang.
"What are you doing here!" I practically growled at her.
"The Captains and Kenaka found me and brought me here!" She cheered.
"We sensed her spirit pressure not too far from here and Kenaka said it would be impolite not to walk her I quite agreed so here we are!" Ukitake explained happily. I sighed.
"Fine!" I gave up. Then I felt a tug at my arm.
"Toshirou?" Aldan's voice whispered up to me.
"Yes?" I questioned, leaning toward him.
"Who are they?" I noticed Aldan's body was positioned behind me, peering around me. Being shy.
"They are two very good friends of mine." I said softly. "Oh, and that's Matsumoto."
"Captain!" Rangiku whined. Aldan giggled, but remained positioned behind me. Ukitake was next to me in seconds time.
"Hello there! I'm Ukitake-san! You can call me Jushi! Would you like some candy?" Before I could stop him, his hands were already up his sleeves pulling wrapped sweets out.
There was a mountain of sugars on the floor around me. Aldan's big eyes looked into mine, questioning. I looked over and Captain Ukitake. He seemed a tad disappointed that Aldan had not jumped on the idea of candy. I looked back toward Aldan and nodded. He grinned and grabbed a piece. Ukitake beamed.
"Jushiro?" Captain Kyoraku said in an urging voice, as if reminding him of something he forgot.
"Oh, yes!" Ukitake bolted upright. I could see their faces change into what could only mean a discussion of our Captain duties. I didn't want that. Not in this home.
"Everyone, this is Captains Ukitake and Kyoraku." I spoke calmly but quickly to divert the attention.
Kenaka grinned, happy to be in such company. The lunatic. Kanda's eyes lit up. No doubt that he was thinking of all the ways he could improve if he could practice with the two Captains. Taka eyed both of them in a way that gave me shivers. Everyone else just looked shocked. Stupid really. They were wearing their Captain robes.
"Pleasure to meet you both!" Aya shook each of their hands in turn.
"She's just happy to know people who know Ichigo." Kohaku snickered from somewhere behind me. Kyoraku heard her and his face glowed when their eyes connected.
"Why, Miss Kohaku! What a pleasure to see you again! I have been wanting to ask you out for another drink soon!" Shuuhei rolled his eyes at the comment. Kohaku, on the other hand, looked pleased.
"Well of course I would join you!" She grinned, a challenge in her eyes. "We simply must have another shot drinking contest!"
Oh no . . . that means Matsumoto would want to . . .
"Oh can I tag along!" Rangiku's voice chimed in.
. . . join.
"Well, of course, Rangiku-san!" Kyoraku grinned. "You're always welcome."
I sighed, yet again. I let them all socialize. Girls formed groups, naturally as breathing, and gossiped. Some of them gathered the courage to speak to the two new Captains in the room, asking them the questions on their minds. Akira didn't leave my side.
When she moved, my body moved with her. Even though we had a good morning she still seemed worried about me. I stayed spaced out, though, not too concerned about if she found it odd at the moment. I only strayed back to reality if I heard my name or a whisper about Captain duties. I stayed in my mind.
"Are you ok?" Akira whispered when no one was listening. I nodded absently.
The fact was, I was okay. Perfect even. I had never felt so happy in my life. This family, Akira, and even the bustling town were more than willing to accept me as I was. Cold attitude, white hair, temper, and all.
I wasn't used to it. Before becoming a Captain and earning the squad's respect, I had never been welcome anywhere. People were either afraid of me and my uncontrolled power, or the exact opposite where when I controlled the unwanted pressures inside me they would see me as pathetic, a child.
But, most of that was gone now that I was a Captain. Being a Captain was an amazing step for me. I respected the title because it has done so much for me. But, not that I had ever seeked it out before, there was no love in that title. There was no love like there was in this house. I just put my whole self into my duties before this. But now . . . I rather liked the feeling in my chest when I was with Akira. I loved what my life had become.
But this was only a vacation. Soon I would go back to being a Captain and Akira would remain with her family. The fear I would not be able to remain with her was a more painful thought than any experiment Captain Kurotsuchi could perform on me. Yet, I would have to leave. That was the only choice there was.
I wasn't the only one bothered by this. Aya gave me knowing glances, and Kohaku just ended up giving me creeping stares. Even Akira seemed to avoid the topic at all costs. I didn't blame her. I wouldn't want to destroy this happiness either, especially when I was the one leaving her. But only one thing was for sure, I was leaving.
Could this happiness never survive?
~†~
After a while, Captain Ukitake and Captain Kyoraku asked for a word in private. Akira eyed me sadly. She believed she didn't belong in my work as a Captain. I tightened my grip on her waist.
"Very well." I nodded, making it clear to both Akira and my superiors that she would be joining me. Ukitake smiled widely and I led them to the kitchen.
"So, please tell me, what is the real reason you are both here today?" I questioned, turning around to face them, Akira still at my side. They both blinked, shocked.
"Always so smart, Hitsugaya." Ukitake grinned, sliding his long white hair from his eyes.
"A prodigy!" Kyoraku chimed in.
"Get to the point!" I snapped.
"Yes. Yes. We are here to inform you of a Captains' meeting tomorrow." Kyoraku sighed, obviously thinking of the time he will be away from his alcohol. Akira tensed at my side. I squeezed her, hoping that I gave some reassurance.
"Same time?" I questioned. They both nodded, Ukitake giving a small 'yes'. "Very well, I will be there." I sighed. "If you two wish to stay for breakfast this morning?" They both, thankfully, shook their heads.
"We aren't on vacation too, Toshi-kun!" Kyoraku chuckled, playing with the straw hat that never left his head.
"I will see you tomorrow." I ground out.
"See you then."
"See ya!"
The second they left I turned to Akira. She was glaring at the floor sadly. It made me upset. I seemed to be causing her so much pain.
"We have things to talk about." My voice was deeper than usual. She simply nodded, paying no attention, seemingly blocking both our pain out.
I pulled her gently out of the kitchen, through the populated living room, and finally to her room. She stood in the middle of the room, just holding her sides. Her rainbow highlighted hair framed her face, not quite shielding her expression from me. She looked so . . . small.
I gathered myself and slid past her to sit on the bed. I rubbed the bridge of my nose in an attempt to ease the worries inside me. No matter how painfully I pressed the worries didn't leave.
"Come here." I mumbled in the silence. She twitched towards me but hesitated. I held my hand out. The open air seemed to sting it. She then surrendered with a sigh. Her warm hand filled mine and she half curled into my side.
"Toshirou?" her voice croaked, threatening tears. I looked down at the top of her head in shock. Why did she have to shield her face from me now?
"Yes, Akira?" I urged.
"Why can't we just stay like this forever?" Tears fell onto my legs. I held her closer, gentle as if she would break.
"Because of many things." I started. "One, you have this beautiful family here that you would never leave to fend for themselves, not even for me. Two, I have duties. Those with power are cursed to live responsibly. I cant give up my responsibilities. The people deserve it." She whipped around, her beautiful eyes tinted in red.
"And you deserve a life for yourself! Screw the 'people' and think about yourself for once, Toshirou!" Her face screwed up in anger. I stared at her, sorry.
"And they deserve to have the right to rely on those with the power to protect them." I shot back calmly. I could tell in her eyes that she know the only reason that her, her family, and all of those in the Soul Society were safe from hallows was because of us soul reapers. "People in the Soul Society deserve to not be afraid of anything. Including me. I-" Before I could finish she glared at me again.
"What do you mean 'including you'?" Akira fumed. "You wouldn't harm a single soul!" I stared into her deep eyes and her face fell.
"I can't agree." I whispered. "Gran is proof enough. I became a soul reaper for a reason, Akira. I don't ever train to get stronger in power, but I train to get stronger in holding it back. If Matsumoto hadn't helped me realize that the only way to keep those around me safe was to be one like her, then Gran wouldn't have had those last precious few years and others would have gotten dragged into the same fate. Maybe even worse." Akira didn't interrupt this time. "I can't stop being a soul reaper. I'm sorry."
We sat in silence. Her tears seemed to fall in a timed pace. We both tried to find a solution. The voices outside the door died down in time, excitement over the new Captains was wearing off. The thought of breakfast would soon bring them to us.
"So you can't work from here?" The comment was so soft I almost missed it. Akira's tears had dried.
"No. I can't be so far from my squad. Certain unranked shinigami have beengranted permission to live outside their squad if it is a reasonable distance and the Head Captain agrees. But, Akira, I am a Captain. I can't do that. I don't have any argument good enough to win. I can't be so far away." I tried to explain the best way I could.
But, even though I told her no, I imagined how perfect that could be. The fact that it was impossible infuriated me. For once I hated the rules I needed to follow.
"I don't know what to do." Akira mumbled, sticking her face in my side. "I've never had to let anyone go. I don't want to let you go."
"I don't want to leave." I admitted. I turned red and pulled her closer. "I feel at home here with you and the family."
"They are all pretty amazing people." She nodded.
"And they are probably really hungry by now." I reminded her.
"Oh! No! We forgot the breakfast!" Akira jumped up and wiped her face for any spare tears. I followed her lead in fixing myself up. Then we walk out and greeted everyone as if nothing had changed.
Breakfast went by too fast. Time always went too fast when I was with this family. But soon I headed back to the house while Akira and the guys, excluding Renji, Kanda, Kyo, and Usui, took Aldan out so we could work on his room in the attic. We painted random stars, circles, ect. around the room and the rest of the wall black to make the rainbows of color pop. Kanda moved in the bed. We all did our part.
Before I could even sit back to enjoy my time it was nightfall again. The guys went downstairs while I finished putting in our new windows and skylights. The stars twinkled at me tauntingly. They got to watch Akira and her family all night, even when I was gone. I finished quickly and stomped down the stairs, again, unrightfully angry.
"Hey, Captain Hitsugaya!" I lurched to a stop at the bottom of the last of the steps. Kanda, Shuuhei, and Renji were all in the corner waving me over.
"Yes?" I questioned, turning my body toward them in interest.
"Would you mind training with us?" Shuuhei smiled down at me, making me feel short again. Before I could say anything a heavy hand slammed on my shoulder, making me lose balance.
"Oof!" I hit the handrail of the stairs.
"CAPT'N SHORTY IS GONNA TRAIN WITH US?" Kenaka screamed from above me. "HELL YES! I ALWAYS WANTED TO TRAIN WITH THIS MOTHER F-"
"KENAKA!"
"Sorry, Akira . . ."
Long story short? Yeah. I trained with them. We trained for about three hours or so before exhaustion hit us. I kept demolishing any attacks Kenaka tried to do almost right as he did them. His fire was too easy to be put out. At one point Akira and Kohaku came to watch us from a distance.
Kohaku was grinning from ear to ear the whole time and even twitched with the urge to join. Akira on the other hand looked like she was a person watching an action movie for the first time. Shock and relief went through her face faster than Kenaka when offered chocolate. She winced every time a blade cut through the air and sighed when it missed.
I called an end to the training after Akira's face was red from changing so much. I grabbed her small pale hand and walked her inside. Tonight we did a simple meal of hamburgers and fries. I had a small smile on my face throughout the night. I devoted the night to taking absolutely everything in. I listened to every story. I memorized every bit of the layout of the house. I imprinted it all into my mind. I wasn't even done when people started to head to sleep.
"Stay here with me?" Akira looked up at me from my lap. I shifted a bit on the couch to see her better.
"Yes, of course. May I ask why though?" I said while brushing a pink piece of hair from her eyes.
"Partly because I just want you to be here." She smiled, then looked down at her lap, smile fading. "But also it just seems like something bad is going to happen. The meeting for Captains tomorrow . . . I don't know . . . It just seems like it marks the end for everything. For this. For us." I agreed completely.
"We don't know that." I said in false hopes. "Captain Unohana gave me two months here. Tomorrow isn't the end."
"Yeah, two months from now is the end." She whispered. "But I just feel like something is going to happen tomorrow. Something . . ." Her face scrunched up. I smiled.
"Tired?" I asked. Akira looked up and nodded, another smile gracing her lips.
"Shall we go to my bed?" She got up. I turned red and stayed put. "What?" She questioned, her lips tugging up at my expression.
"Both of us on your bed?" I choked out. She raised an eyebrow.
"Yes?" She spoke slowly. "I thought a bed would be more comfortable than a couch . . ."
"B-but isn't that inappropriate?" My voice squeaked. She giggled.
"Toshirou, we have slept in the same spot before!" She laughed harder.
"But! But!" I fought for the words that didn't come. "Uh . . . well it feels different to actually plan to sleep together than to actually just fall asleep that way . . ." She smiled.
"Well then!" Akira bent down, her breath fanning my face. Her dark blue eyes lining up with mine. "Toshirou Hitsugaya, do I have your word you won't do anything to me as I sleep next to you?" I blushed hard.
"YES! OF COURSE!" I stuttered. Akira laughed hard again.
"Well then I'm sure it will all be fine."
She pulled me to her room, turning off lights as we went. My face slowly cooling down. We crawled into her bed together and she pulled me to her. I wrapped my arms around her small frame. This is how I always wanted to stay.
"You know," I started as we drifted off. "You never promised back." I felt her frame laugh against mine.
~†~
I woke up before anyone in the house. Captain's habit. I snuck out from Akira's arms and slipped out of the house. I walked slowly in the dark towards my unused Captain office. It was probably about four or so in the morning. Only a few people were walking about the town as I passed through. I put my hands in my pockets and enjoyed the silence.
It didn't take any time at all to make it to the guarded gate. I quickly flashed my Captain badge and walked in, my mind filled with Akira and the Captain meeting. There were a lot more people out inside the gate. Maybe just because it was later in the morning or the fact they were soul reapers, I didn't know.
"Captain Hitsugaya?" Shuuhei's voice said from beside me.
"Good morning, Lieutenant Hisagi." I nodded to him.
"What are you doing here? Let alone, so early?" He walked over, a pile of paperwork in his arms, and fell into step with me.
"There is a Captain meeting today." I answered him. His eyes widened.
"And Captain Unohana gave you the-?" He began.
"No but I was invited." I interrupted and gave him a small smile. He smiled back.
"Well watch out! Kohaku was walking around here somewhere, and she would just love to jump you again while you are in, what she calls, 'work mode'." He laughed.
"I will, thanks." I nodded. "Well this is where we part." I said. I turned toward squad ten's barracks, my squads.
"Oh! Have a good meeting, Captain!" Shuuhei called from behind me.
I walked into my squad's barracks at normal speed. I had always flash stepped straight to my office before to avoid meeting others, but this morning I just wanted the extra walk. This also meant my squad members would see me without my Captain uniform on. I had decided to change when I got to my office rather than wear it through town.
As I walked toward my office I got many points, gasps, and yelps from my squad members. It was very much like my first day in town. My lips tugged up a bit and I opened the door to my office.
I quickly got dressed into my uniform and sighed at the feel. It just felt right. I scanned the room for any unfinished paperwork, only finding a small stack, and got to work. But, the paperwork didn't take as long as I'd hoped. I sighed, slid out of my chair, and headed toward the meeting.
"Ah! Toshirou! You made it!" Captain Kyoraku met me on our way to the meeting.
"Why wouldn't I?" I scoffed.
"Don't you find these meetings a tad boring, Toshi-kun?" He whined. I shook my head.
"They aren't meant to be fun." I reminded him.
"Well they do succeed don't they?" He laughed.
We continued on. He talked about his Lieutenant scolding him the night before for drinking. I didn't voice that I was on her side of that argument. I was grateful when reached the meeting hall. He finally had to be silent.
Slowly we all lined the room in our respectful places. As always, every Captain was attending. Captain Ukitake waved. Captain Unohana gave me a terrifying glare that was somehow concealed to look kind . . .
"Welcome, Captains." Head Captain walked in and sat down on his chair. His eyes landed on me. "Captain Hitsugaya, it's nice you could join us today. Are you well enough to?" Captain Kurosuchi scoffed, many glared in his direction.
"I am, thank you, sir." I bowed my neck slightly.
"He most certainly is not!" Captain Unohana commanded angrily from her spot.
"I'm fine." I argued, glaring at her. I did not want to be kicked out of a Captain meeting. No. Not me.
"There is no way for your wounds to have healed." She smiled, but there was no kindness in it. "You should be passed out from walking so far. Even for your high pain tolerance, you should be resting. At home."
"Captain Unohana." Captain Yamamoto snapped, but it was without anger, purely for her attention. "I agree with you."
"What! How can y-" I yelled.
"But!" He spoke over me. "I think it is good you are here, Captain Hitsugaya." He looked at everyone. "Today we shall discuss the incident that occurred, concerning Captain Hitsugaya." I grounded my teeth together.
"I think Captain Kurotsuchi should have full blame, meaning full punishment for his actions." Soi Fon spoke up. I glanced at her in surprise. I'd never even received so much as a glance from her before.
"Hmph! You children just don't understand research!" Mayuri, Captain Kurotsuchi, scoffed from his spot. Many glared at him.
"We can understand research, not torture." Ukitake mumbled.
"Yes, I agree with that." Captain Kyoraku spoke.
'Sacrifices must be made in the process of information gain. Don't you think we should know how powerful little Captain Hitsugaya is? That would be best for the people don't you think?" Mayuri smiled a grin that made my skin crawl. "Of course that requires me cutting him open some more."
"You freak!" Soi Fon growled.
"Enough!" Captain Yamamoto hollered, making me jump. "Captain Kurotsuchi, you may do the tests."
My blood turned cold. Permission to do the tests? Gasps filled the room.
"Are you joking?" Ukitake screamed, almost drowned out by the others accompanying his loud protest. Unohana a wringing motion with her hands.
"SILENCE!" Head Captain creamed again angrily. I stared around me, locking eyes with Captain Unohana. Her eyes widened at my facial expression. I turned away quickly. I had just shown someone my fear, clear as day, on my face.
"Head Captain, I wish to oversee these meetings and tests as to see a repeat of last time does not occur again." Unohana suddenly, and strongly, spoke out. Head Captain opened his eyes in mild shock.
"Very well. It is decided. Captain Unohana, I leave you in charge." Mayuri growled. "You are all dismissed. Captain Hitsugaya, may I have a word?" I trailed behind. Ukitake, Unohana, and Kyoraku gave worried glances but continued out.
"Yes, sir?" I forced my frustration out of my voice. He agreed to put me through torture.
"You can show your anger, young one. Keeping too much inside rips the soul." His raspy voice said wisely. "I believe I owe you an explanation." I looked up hopefully.
"Thank you, sir." I said quickly and bowed, he chuckled.
"You would like to know why I agreed with the tests?" he sighed, preparing himself. I stared at him intensely. Head Captain didn't explain himself to anyone.
"I believe we all deserve to know our own, and our comrades, limitations. We can work fluently and knowingly that way. You wouldn't leave a squad member with the ability to defeat low class hollows to go against menos." He paused. I nodded. "On the other hand, if your squad is confident that your limits are a lot less than the enemies it will give them great strength on the battle field. Makes them feel you are limitless."
"I understand." I mumbled. What he said made sense. I should have seen that point of view for my squad.
"And I understand you are not wanting this, young Captain." He said, "But it is for the best. Our duty is not to go out of our way to make ourselves happy, but to ensure we give the opportunity of tomorrow to all of the citizens of the soul society, so they can have the chance to find their happiness."
He paused and looked at me solemnly.
"That is why I will now ask you, will you do these tests?" I stared at him in shock. After all that, he was giving me a choice? I looked down.
"I . . . will do these tests." I saw a small smile touch on the corners of his mouth.
"Very well and there is one more topic I would like to cover." He stated, his mood a bit lighter.
"Yes?" I asked, eager that the Head Captain seemed so open with me today.
"First, could you grab your friends that are trying to hide outside the door?" I peered toward the door in confusion. I flash-stepped over in a second and yanked it open. I saw Captains Unohana, Ukitake, and Kyoraku staring at me. "Come in." Head Captain called from behind me. They followed me in, not bashful about being caught at all.
"How can we help you, Captain Yama?" Kyoraku smiled.
"There is something I need your . . . opinion on." Captain Yamamoto stared at us in turn. "It has come to my attention that Captain Hitsugaya-" he looked down at me. "-has become fond of a certain family a town away from here." I cringed. No Please don't make me leave her so soon. I can't think about that right now.
"Yes, sir." We all chanted.
"This has never been done before, but there was a law written for this very purpose." A law for punishing me for falling in love? I had a sudden urge to pull out Hyorinmaru. " The rule states that if a Captain gets the permission from his Head Captain, three Captains of different squads, and his, or her-" he looked at Unohana. "-lieutenant he may live out of his quarters with his family. There are certain bits about distance as well, but I believe if one were to develop a fast enough flash-step over time, that part can be . . . overlooked."
My mouth hung open and my body seemed to shut down. I didn't even care that I was probably showing the rudest face to the Head Captain at that moment. Every head was turned in my direction. I couldn't pay them any attention. I was still trying to get my mind to work, to wrap it around how perfect this all seemed. Finally I forced myself to speak, before the offer was taken back.
"Is there any more required?" Get rid of all the obstacles before trying to grab the prize.
"Only that you must train, show up for the occasional Captain meeting, take missions, do paperwork, and check up on your squad." Captain Yamamoto listed. Before I could even take that in, Unohana spoke.
"I say 'yes'." She seemed to demand more than just state the words.
"I do as well."
"Well, well, guess I have to agree as well." Kyoraku grinned, tilting his hat forward.
"Thank you." I half mumbled, half whispered to them. I looked up at Head Captain. "Can I . . ."
"You may go." He nodded, knowing look on his face.
I rushed out without waiting for another word. I had to find Rangiku. Now. With her permission I could . . . No. Not even going to think it yet. Not going to get my hopes up, yet . . . something told me I already had.
I ran down always while looking for that orange haired loudmouth. I ignored the yells and glances and concentrated on my search and the stretching of my legs as I ran.
She wasn't in the office or the lunch spot, but my body was already rushing toward the only place Rangiku was ever found, the bar.
I wasn't even upset that she was drinking so early. I just ran as fast as my feet could take me. That is, until I was tripped. I landed, face first, on the harsh ground.
"Were are you off to in such a hurry, shorty?" Kohaku's amused voice rang out from above me. I shoved myself off the floor and glared at her. She had a carefree expression that lost maybe one sparkle when she caught my non amused face. Shuuhei just looked panic stricken. "What's up?" she urged.
I took off so fast my sore back ached from the sudden lurch. Kohaku's yells of protest fell behind me quickly. My hair was tangled by the wind, my speed making it worse. I've always loved the expanding of my lungs and the burn in my legs as I ran. Right now? They seemed to be mocking me. Taunting me that I wasn't fast enough to make it. Then to cursed bricked building came into view, holding my only chance inside.
As always, the bar was decently busy for it being so early in the day. Did all of them decide to skip out on duties and paperwork? I rushed inside, panting heavily. I now understood why Unohana had not wanted me to do too much strenuous activity until my back had healed. I glared through the pain and found her bright orange hair glowing under one of few lights in the space. I walked quickly, but not too fast to make myself pass out again.
"Captain?" Rangiku caught sight of me as I grew closer. "Let me help you! You look so pale!" she rushed over and helped me sit on the edge of a booth near her table.
"Matsumoto, I need . . . your permission." I panted. Her concerned face shook back and forth.
"Captain, you need to rest. You're talking nonsense. You're the Captain not me." She spoke softly as if speaking to a child. I ground my teeth and slammed my eyes shut.
"No!" I scolded.
Then, before I could even register that she had put her hands on me, she flash-stepped us out to a bench outside. I breathed the open air in surprise and satisfaction.
"You okay Captain?" Rangiku lowered her herself to look into my eyes. I nodded, the air cleared my head nicely, the crispness of winter did wonders.
"I need your permission, Matsumoto." I held my gaze so she could see I wasn't playing. She opened and closed her mouth a few times before any words came out.
"But for what?" She finally asked.
So I explained in a rush. I told her about the unknown exception to the rules, about how me and Akira could stay together if she agreed, and how I had, in fact, ran here.
"So do you agree?" I begged asked.
"Of course." She grinned at me. I sighed and let the feeling take me in. Almost there. Almost have hold of a miracle.
"Thank you, Matsumoto." I breathed, getting up. "Now would you mind coming with me to tell Captain Yamamoto?" She nodded and ran with me all the way to the first district, home of Captain Yamomoto's office.
We both stopped at the door and knocked. The large doors swung open to show Head Captain sitting at his desk in the large, yet simple, room. We both bowed and he waved us in.
"I believe this means she agrees, Captain Hitsugaya?" He asked. I nodded.
"I do, sir." Matsumoto announced.
"Very well then. Captain Hitsugaya, after your health leave I permit you to try to prove that you can live away from your squad. That also means you put a lot of responsibility on your lieutenant's shoulders." I nodded along with Rangiku. "Here is a packet explaining all your duties and proves that you are allowed to live out of the barracks. That is all. You may return to your work, lieutenant Matsumato. Captain Hitsugaya, you must return back to your rest." We bowed again. As soon as the doors closed behind us Rangiku threw her arms in the air and let out a big whoop.
"You did it, Captain!" She screamed. I smiled at her. I looked down at the packet in my hand and felt the oddest urge to dance with it. Stop smiling. It didn't happen.
"Enjoy your day, Matsumoto." I nodded to her. She stopped mid happy dance to wave to me.
I went to town before I stopped by home. I grabbed a box of chocolates with a rainbow on the heart shaped container. Flowers? Yeah. I walked around and tried to find some that screamed out to me. Then there they were. Each flower a different shade of the rainbow. How they had got the flowers to get those colors I didn't know but I paid the man in full plus tip faster than he could blink. They were so Akira.
Then it was time. I could go home and just . . . stay. All those worries were in the past. The only thing Akira and I had to break us apart was gone. We could be together. We could be happy.
That's when I was stopped . . . AGAIN. A small and warm hand grabbed my upper arm, stopping me from continuing my walk home.
"Will . . . you . . . stop . . . running . . . around!" Kohaku panted, bending down to catch her breath.
"What do you need now, Kohaku?" I questioned. My tone wasn't angry as it was before, causing her to look up in question.
"What exactly is going on arou-" she stopped mid sentence when she saw the rainbow colored flowers I was holding. "What are those?" She grinned.
"They're flowers, of course." I blushed. Her grin widened.
"What's the occasion?"
"I'd rather you didn't know before Akira does." I looked away. I saw her nod out of the corner of my eyes.
"Need help then?" She offered. I looked at her and smiled.
~†~
I paced my kitchen. Any minute now. I caught my self in the mirror and straightened up for the twentieth time. I had pulled out my tux and my culinary skills to make the night perfect. The flowers and holy-crap-it's-a-miracle packet were hidden in a cabinet. Now all that was left was Akira.
Kohaku planned on sending a panicked Akira over around . . .now. I hated waiting. I wanted to tell Akira now. I wanted to tell her it was all worked out. Everything was perfect. I was in the middle of that happy thought when my door is busted in.
"TOSHIROU?" Akira ran in. Yep. She was panicked.
"Hey." I said softly. Her blue eyes whirled around locked on me. Her jaw went slack and she walked, almost trance like, towards me.
"What?" She waved her arm around.
"Hungry?" I asked, nodding toward the table. She saw the food and candles set out for us and gave a half shocked, half goofy smile. She looked down at her jeans and paint stained shirt.
"I'm a bit underdressed for such a fancy place." She teased. I shrugged.
"The cook finds you cute, so I guess you can stay." I blushed. She giggled and hugged me. Cue redder face . . . now.
"You look so good in that." She smiled, looking me up and down. I coughed awkwardly.
"Uh, can we just eat now?" I begged. She giggled again and sat down.
"So what's the occasion?" Akira asked dramatically, folding her hands in her lap and leaning forward towards me.
"Just eat." I smiled. She scoffed and dug in.
We talked about everything. The candles withered to almost nothing. We continued to sit and talk even after the food was all gone, and our drinks seemed to never had been there in the first place. I couldn't even think of leaving this moment. I loved the way her smile gleamed in the dim candlelight. Her laugh filled not only my house but my heart. Eventually, after being at war with myself, I decided it was time.
I picked up my plate and extra dishes around the table, scooted my chair back with the back of my legs, and stood up. Akira got up as well, a smile seemingly stuck to her face, and grabbed her plate to follow me to the kitchen sink. Her elbow bumped mine as we walked. As we put the dishes in the sink I started to feel sneaky. When to pull out the surprise?
"So did you like it?" I asked her. She nodded.
"You are an amazing cook. I'm going to have to kidnap you when your off your medical leave." She gave a sad grin. I watched her put on the water and begin rinsing the dishes. I started to dry and put up.
A silence continued as we worked. I waited until she gave me an item that got put up in that cabinet. Of course, it had to be one of the last. I grabbed the plate and dried it hastily. I quickly finished and walked over to the cabinet.
I swung open the small wooden door and grabbed the multi-colored flowers and chocolates, in which the papers were hidden in. Shockingly I did this without making too much noise with the horrible plastic the flowers were held together with. I snuck over to Akira and sneakily positioned the flowers in front of her face. She let out a cute little gasp and whirled around.
"Rainbow!" Akira yelped, then gasped, yet again, at the sight of the chocolate. Her hands, drenched in soapy water reached out, but she caught herself and searched frantically for a towel. "They are so pretty! Where did you get them? How are they this color! Ah! Towel!" I chuckled at her frantic state.
"They seemed perfect for you." I blushed and handed the box over first. She looked at it and opened it at once, her face turning from excited to confused in a second. The white folded paper packet lay on top and she picked it up, looking at me in question.
"Read it." I urged. She set the box down and unfolded the paper.
Her eyebrows knitted together as she read. I fidgeted in place as she glanced down the page. I began to pray she would actually be happy with the surprise. Then tears began to form in her eyes. I gave a startled lurch towards her, anxious.
Sobs ripped from her chest and she buried her face in the papers. Her hands made balls and the paper crumpled. I walked closer frantically, hoping that she wasn't upset about the news. As I closed in on her she submerged her face in my shoulder.
"What's wrong?" I panicked.
"Is . . . it . . . real?" Akira sobbed.
"Yes" It came out as a question. She cried harder and I patted her awkwardly.
" Thank you! I-I don't know w-why I'm crying!" She half laughed, half cried. I paused then laughed abruptly.
"So you're happy, right?" I chuckled.
"Yes!" Akira pulled back and wiped her face with the heels of her palms.
"I think this fixes some things." I mumbled. She nodded and looked up at me through her eyelashes. My mind stopped. We sat like that for what seemed like centuries.
"Toshirou?" Akira stepped closer.
"Yes?" My mouth answered without me.
"Kiss me." She whispered through a smile. In less than a second I had her arms around my neck and mine around her hips. I touched my lips to hers softly, relishing in the smooth, warm feeling.
"I'm so happy." I mumbled, feeling her lips follow mine.
"I love you." She answered back. I turned my now flushed face away. "And I love how shy you are." She laughed. I kissed her again to shut her up. "And I love your white hair." I kissed her again. "And I love your-" I kissed her yet again. "Stop interuptin-" Guess what I did here?
"Then stop talking." I growled. I didn't see, but rather felt her lips form another smile.
"I'm the happiest girl in the world."
I kissed her again.
This watermelon vacation was the best idea ever had.
:'( not going to cry . . . I'm not. This is the first story I finished (don't go away completely there is an epilogue ;) ) I am so pooped. Yet again, I am sorry this took so long, but it's freaking 46 pages of text. ;) Just for YOUUUUUU! Thank you all so much! The epilogue shouldn't take too long! Already starting as soon as I'm done here! You are all so patient and kind. Thank you so much!
Love Chi