A/N: Chapter inspiration came from Dreams by Fleetwood Mac. As always, feedback of any kind is welcome and appreciated. Enjoy!
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Asami thanked the spirits that her father left the house. It was unusual for her to relish the solitude, but she really needed it tonight. Call it selfish, but she couldn't deny that she was restless.
The scent of nutmeg wafted through the warming air vents and her father insisted in decorating the house the day before that she felt the true beginnings of the holiday season, despite the fact that it was nearing the middle of November. Was it considered too early for this? She certainly thought so, but Asami acquiesced to what her father wanted, moreso because he'd more than likely would be gone during her break.
Chewing at her bottom lip, she pinched her brows and nearly shook her head as the sound of a bag of chips that were abruptly opened pulled her out of her thoughts. Why was she dwelling on this when there were much bigger problems she had to deal with? More specifically studying for calculus and finishing up their applications for college.
But first, her priority was to get Korra and Mako to become experts in antiderivatives. She knew they were coming over for tutoring sessions, and she desperately hoped it wouldn't take too long to get them to understand the lesson. It wasn't complex at all, but maybe the notation was confusing them..? She wasn't sure, not when her mind was preoccupied and was in serious need of a distraction even though it had already been a few weeks since she found out information that she would rather forget about.
Maybe that was just her? Was she overreacting? She had to ponder that repeatedly, but always came to the conclusion that she wasn't, that her friend would have said something about it eventually, right?
She needed to stop this. To get her mind out of her own thoughts and spend all this energy into calculus.
Asami took a deep breath, pulling her hair up into a high ponytail as she regarded her two friends. "Okay, do you two remember anything from Mrs. Pema's lecture about antiderivatives and integrals?" She asked, hoping they'd give her anything but a no.
"Nooo," Mako drawled with a small wince.
And of course she was hopeful all too soon.
Korra rolled onto her stomach, propping her chin in her hands and gave a light shrug. "A little, but I don't understand what I do remember." She replied, pursing her lips as she glanced at Asami's color-coded notebook.
Asami tapped at her textbook in thought. Maybe it was easier to go with the route she had been using rather than try a different method in teaching them. "Hmm, okay. It really won't take long because it's mostly the notation that seems confusing. At least that's what I'm assuming… So, how about I get one of the problems from the book, write it out then explain it like I have been?" She asked, her friends seemingly content with her plan.
Korra nodded with a small smile, glimmering blue eyes still set on her notebook, while Mako shrugged and said, "Yeah, go ahead."
Pulling her textbook closer, Asami scanned the page for a simple problem before delving into the more complex looking ones. She copied the problem down onto her notebook, picking up a red pen as she began the first step and could feel Korra watching her do so. It was unnerving to say the least, but she had to shrug it off. It wasn't a big deal.
It was silent between the four of them, except for the soft music that played in the background and she was sure one of them was bound to break it. Mako shifted in his seat, propping his elbow onto the cushion on the sofa Bolin was lying on and the small movement caused her to glance up before hastily resuming her work.
"Have you guys finished applying?" Korra asked, breaking the silence and turning over, sprawled on the plush rug beneath them.
"Nope," Mako piped up blandly. She wasn't surprised that he hadn't finished either. Out of the four of them, Mako would be riding their ass on something frivolous, but he would get it done last. Hypocrisy that's what it was.
Asami took a deep breath, somewhat irked that she was yet again reminded that she had to finish that damn essay portion of the application. "No, but I'm almost done." She responded, picking up a pink pen to continue the problem.
A thoughtful hum was heard in response at her right. "Okay, now I don't feel as bad." Korra murmured. That had her glancing at her friend in piqued curiosity. Spirits, if she felt bad for being behind in applying, did she just start?
Pausing in her notes, Asami twirled the pen between her fingers as she regarded her friend. "Why do you say that?" She questioned.
That resulted in a nonchalant shrug from Korra as she stared at the chandelier directly above them. "No reason. I started a few days ago, and I mean I definitely have a course in mind, but with my grades, I don't know if I'll be able to apply fully for the program."
With a flick of her wrist, Asami waved her friend's worries away. Truthfully, with who she was living with, she was sure Korra'd get into the program, despite the fact that either way she'll have to spend a lot of time in school if she truly wanted to pursue sports medicine. "Korra, you'll be fine. The university will be a lot more lenient towards you; you have connections. Isn't your dad an alumni?" Somehow just asking that produced an internal wince from Asami. She really needed to get Korra alone, lest she goes crazy from withholding this information that she didn't even want in the first place. As much as she loved Korra, a part of her was alright with being ignorant, but now that she knows, spirits… she hoped she hasn't been that obvious to give Korra a reason to think something was up with her.
Her friend made a noise at the back of her throat, apparently considering her words. "Yeah, but… I don't like relying on him with stuff like this. You know that, 'I want to be my own person' kind of thing." She replied, using air quotes to emphasize her point.
Brows quirking upward, Asami nodded. Korra did have a point there. "That's understandable." She agreed before finishing up the problem and encircling the answer with a purple pen. She made a sound of excitement, more towards herself because her notes looked impeccably neat. Asami stretched out, gazing at her notebook as though it were perfection. And when she glanced up towards her friends who were all watching her strangely, she swallowed nervously before coughing into her hand to stave off the awkwardness even though there was plenty of that already. "Okay, let's start, yeah?"
There was no other way than saying it, but Korra felt smart. And that was all due to Asami's tutoring. They were halfway through reviewing what they have been studying for the past week and a half and even though her brain would undoubtedly explode with all topics they went over for one measly test, it felt great to understand so much.
Asami called it 'crunch time' now that she was done tutoring them. She tested them one topic at a time with a given problem, and even insisted on playing some heavy metal music in the background just to add some tension.
From the side of her eye, Korra sensed Bolin's attention wavering from his book to his brother and her solving the problems from parametric equations to antiderivatives. Mako and her were almost done with their second batch of problems when Bolin squirmed on the sofa and groaned, "Ugh! Guys I can't read this anymore. It's so boring and frustrating!" He complained, looking as though he were nearing his limit and about to paw at his skin.
Korra flinched at his boisterous voice and abruptly stopped solving the problem just as Mako looked at his brother doubtfully. "Bo, it's one of the most famous books in the world. How is it boring?" He asked, cracking his knuckles and stretching his back beside her.
"Because it is!" Bolin fumed as he huffed childishly and tossed the familiar blue tinted novel over his head.
Asami paused the music with a click of a remote and caught Korra's eyes easily. She wasn't sure if they were thinking the same thing or not, judging by the looks of her friend it seemed she had other things on her mind, but Korra couldn't keep quiet. Not when Bolin was acting immensely more dramatic than he usually was.
Cerulean eyes trailed to Bolin's taut form as he stared stubbornly at the ceiling and allowed an exaggerated pout to pull at his boyish features. "Um… that's not a reason." Korra piped up sheepishly with a slight wince.
It seemed she must have broke through his ire because all the breath left his body in a vexed sigh and he propped himself up with his elbow to look at the three of them. "Fine, I give it to you guys. It's not boring. But that doesn't change how frustrated I am with the characters." He quipped levelly, as though he were trying to keep his temper from rising just as it had a few seconds ago.
But then the brother beside Korra sighed. "Oh no," he groaned, brows furrowing together in what she assumed was exhaustion. "Please don't ask him why." He pleaded as he shook his head towards both her and Asami.
However, Korra being Korra, a smile slowly curved her lips at the very thought of irritating Mako. A chuckle nearly escaped her, though she quelled the temptation by glancing at Bolin. "Why?"
There was a click of a tongue. And before she could let out a bark of laughter, Mako muttered, "Do you hate me that much? He's been complaining nonstop about this back home."
All she could do was offer her friend a grin in response, but even then Bolin interrupted as he began his rant. "The characters are all so hypocritical-"
"Aaaand here we go," Mako groaned, covering his face with his hands in annoyance.
"You have Gatsby who can't take a hint that the supposed love of his life is… I don't know… married! Then there's Daisy who's just a big mess and can't decide for herself and Tom who can't keep it in his pants for more than a few hours and complains that his wife is cheating on him when he's doing the same exact thing! And as much as Nick hasn't really done anything, that's his fault! He doesn't do anything!" Bolin exploded, his voice getting higher and higher in pitch as he ranted. Korra couldn't stop her eyes from widening, her brows from rising, from leaning back in her spot. And as she glanced at Asami, her friend seemed to look the same as she was. It was certainly amusing to see him this passionate about book that he apparently didn't even like.
Shaking her head from absorbing what the younger brother said in a hasty mess, Asami placed a tentative hand on the cushion Bolin was leaning against. "Okay, okay, calm down, Bo. It's just a book." She reassured, though the look of his face told them that he was still irked by what he read.
Pulling away from his cupped hands, Mako gazed into Korra's eyes tiredly. "Do you see what I have to deal with at home? He's been like this every time he picks up the book since they were assigned to read it." He sighed, telling her that he had to listen to his brother's complaints for at least the past week or so now.
With a small wince, Korra uttered, "Fair enough, sorry."
It was half assed and she acknowledged that, but it was weird to apologize to Mako. She couldn't help it. When Mako's brow quirked in response to the apology, he stretched his neck with closed eyes as Korra picked up her pencil, twirling it in her hand as she tried to find where she left off. And all of a sudden it was awkwardly quiet. Maybe it was just her or not, but the silence was surely deafening.
"How about you guys get us some food, I think we need a break anyways." Asami piped up softly, pulling her hair free of the tie before fidgeting with the ends of her long hair.
Okay, maybe it wasn't just her, she reasoned.
From the corner of her eyes, she could see Mako's golden gaze flickering between Asami and his brother. "Just me and Bo? You guys don't want to just eat out instead?" He questioned.
"I mean I don't know about Korra, but I don't necessarily want to change out of my sweats and eat at a restaurant when there's still so much to study for." Asami explained with a shrug before glancing at her expectantly.
"Yeah, honestly I'm with Asami on this one." Korra agreed wholeheartedly. It would be one thing if they decided to study out in the city, like the cafe the frequented, but they were all settled in a warm house, and said house smelt delicious and cozy. Truthfully, it felt like she was back home, either her new one with Tarrlok or her old one with her parents.
Mako's confused face fell as though he were through with them, his shoulders slumping as a fussy huff left him. "So why're you making us go?" He asked Asami, gesturing between him and his brother. "Shouldn't it just be Bo who gets the food since we're all in calculus except him?" He tried to reason. That made Korra attempt to stifle a cackle threatening to escape her by chewing at her lower lip. She had to admit, even though it pained her to do so, Mako could be amusing at times, and even moreso when he was with his brother and they were both behaving like children.
"Hey!" Affronted, Bolin gasped, perching one hand on his hip sassily as his mouth fell open.
"What? It's true though." Mako mumbled, more to himself than the three of them. Korra heard him mutter some other words under his breath though she wasn't sure what exactly he said.
Shrugging it off, her eyes trailed to viridian ones when she saw Asami motion for her attention as if she needed help. That wouldn't do. She was having a hard time trying to stifle her giggles as is, she couldn't even attempt to fabricate a superficial reassurance towards the brothers.
When Korra offered her friend a gesture that clearly said, you're on your own, Asami sighed. "Because as much as Bolin is strong, I don't think he'd want to go alone like he's our errand boy." Asami reasoned and Bolin resolutely nodded to agree with her statement. She watched as Asami tried to get through with Mako. "Come on, it'll be a good time for brother bonding." She urged sweetly, her soft voice full of saccharine.
"Like we don't get enough of that already." Mako once again groused to himself. He seemed fairly stubborn tonight, or rather, moreso than usual, and just as Asami pouted and offered him puppy eyes towards their unrelenting friend, Mako threw his head back with a groan of irritation and surrender. "Fine. What do you guys want?" He conceded, scratching at the side of his head as he stood from his spot exaggeratingly slow.
"Sushi. Any kind is fine with me." Asami smiled all too sweetly, leaning against the sofa Bolin was getting up from.
Korra saw Mako turn to her, pointing his finger indifferently. "Same as her." She blurted.
Taking a deep breath, Mako clapped his hand on his brother's shoulder and turned them towards the hallway. "Alright, we'll be back." He grumbled, stirring Bolin in front of him as he shrugged on his coat.
Even from the living room, she heard the front door close and Asami's butler lock the door. Korra expected her friend to start talking like crazy, or gossiping at any rate, but instead she was met with silence. It was strangely heavy, filled with tension. Korra couldn't figure out for the life of her why it suddenly got so heavy and dreary, but with one glance towards her friend, told her something was wrong.
Asami's saccharine sweet smile was wiped off from her features and instead, a thoughtful expression etched itself on her face. Usually she wouldn't think too much into her friend's odd behavior, but she couldn't just leave her be. No. Her body was taut as she leaned against the couch and her eyes looked almost too far away.
"You okay?" Korra asked slowly, tentatively.
She must have been pulled out of her reverie because her friend finally glanced at Korra, offering her with a soft smile although it didn't reach her eyes. "Yeah, I'm fine." She said. Her normally soft voice was all too eager and unconvincing to Korra.
With a tilt of her head, she watched the other girl's body language which pointed in the direction that she certainly wasn't 'fine'. "Asami, I know when you're lying." She claimed. Korra had been at Asami's side for the majority of the three months in Republic City, after all, and she was sure that she'd pick up on habits from her friend.
Letting out a breathy, inappropriate giggle Asami shook her head in refusal. "It's nothing, I swear. Besides, we need to study so we should focus on that." She replied, moving to grasp her pen as a way to sway Korra's attention, but she knew better.
It was Korra's turn to shake her head, placing her hand on top of Asami's to impede her from diverting what she had on her mind. And there was no way in hell she'd let her not say anything when her usually chipper friend was abnormally morose. "No, no, no. You said yourself that we need a break. What is it?" Korra prodded further.
Asami sighed, releasing her pen as she pulled her legs towards her chest. "Fine." She acquiesced. She appeared thoughtful, appeared as though she were looking for the right words to say and for some reason that look began to scare Korra. Absentmindedly, she closed her friend's notebook and leaned a little closer to Asami. "How could you lie to me?" She blurted out.
Okay, that wasn't what she was expecting.
Bewildered, Korra asked, "About what?"
"Mr. Nobody." Asami said simply, though Korra's mind went blank. An idea of what specifically her friend was talking about in regards to Mr. Nobody came into her mind, but she didn't want to jump to conclusions. And yet when her friend added, "Yeah, your dad." Korra felt heat welling up in her. Not from anger, but something indecipherable at being caught.
Her body tensed, her face felt hot, but her hands felt dead cold and she must have looked like a deer caught in headlights, though she couldn't stop all the emotions running through her. Her and Tarrlok were supposed to be careful… how did…?
Nervously swallowing over the lump in her throat, she croaked, "How do you-"
But Asami interjected shaking her head as though it were eating at her insides. "I-I saw… I saw you two kissing when he dropped you off for the party." Asami mumbled in response, chewing at her lower lip as they lapsed into silence once again. Korra couldn't believe it. Asami had been bottling this up, had known about them for at least two weeks now. And yet said nothing… Korra couldn't blame her, but spirits. "But that's besides the point. He's your dad, Korra," she accused, stressing on the fact that Tarrlok was her father… though not technically. She had done her fair share of contemplating what their actual relationship was and it certainly wasn't that of a father-daughter bond, even before what had happened.
Korra took a deep breath, attempting to grasp at straws that this predicament resulted in good light. "Look, it's really not what you think." She pleaded levelly, hand reaching towards Asami's own, but her friend pulled away.
"What do you mean? It seemed pretty obvious that you two have feelings for one another from that kiss I saw. Unless I was already that drunk that I couldn't see who was in the driver's seat. But I mean, spirits, I surely wouldn't kiss my father that way." Asami retorted, brows pinched together and a scowl twisted her face as she regarded Korra. Truthfully, Korra didn't know what to do and it showed. When she didn't respond, her friend continued with displeasure. "Why are you-"
"Asami, I said it's really not what you think…" Korra intervened, looking anywhere the wasn't her viridian eyed friend. She knew she wasn't making her point when she's attempting to flip the situation, but she couldn't help it. No. Not when Asami was practically glaring daggers at her. "Yeah, I was kissing him, but he's…" She paused, hesitant in speaking the truth after nearly three months worth of lies stacked on top of one another.
"He's what?" Asami prodded impatiently.
Mimicking her friend's position, Korra curled her legs towards her chest, tapping her fingers restlessly against her thigh as she tried to think of any other way to go about this… but there wasn't. She had to tell her the truth. After this long, she couldn't spill any more lies than she already had. "He's not my real dad." She confessed almost inaudibly, squeezing her eyes shut to stop herself from looking at Asami's undoubtedly disgusted face.
"What are you talking about?" Asami asked, confusion coloring her soft voice.
If you want this to come out with a nice ending you need to face it head on with honesty. No more lies. She's your best friend and she considers you her's too. It was surprising to hear that devious voice that was now not-so-devious and actually offered her some useful advice. And as much as she hated to admit it, she needed to listen to that voice at the back of her mind before this sour situation turned even more rancid.
She tilted her head back and released a steady sigh before she glanced into her friend's emerald irises with more confidence than she felt. "I'll tell you everything you want to know, just… just promise me that you won't tell Mako and Bolin about this. I want to tell them when I'm ready." She pleaded, and as childish as it was, Korra stuck her pinky finger out towards her friend in offering.
Hesitation weaved into Asami's eyes as her gaze flicked back and forth between Korra and her finger, and she could see that she wasn't sure if she wanted to know the truth or not. "I-I promise." Asami agreed, wrapping her own pinky finger around Korra's despite the uncertainty that was still there.
Once again, she swallowed, attempting to find the right words lest she made her friend even more irked or unsure. "Like I said, he's not my real dad. Yes, he's Mr. Nobody, and yes I know this whole thing is completely wrong and fucked up… trust me, I know. Spirits knows how long me and Tarrlok have been thinking about it." She shook her head, remembering all the times she spent lying in bed alone, mulling over the reality of their relationship and what exactly she wanted to do to the man despite having acknowledged that he was her adoptive father, and the times she tried to prod at Tarrlok's resistance, knowing full well the same thoughts she had were flowing through his brain constantly. "I really don't know where to start," she confessed in a moment of raw honesty. There was a lot to put on the table and the thought of revealing everything she told Tarrlok and what happened between them was daunting to say the least.
Shrugging, Asami murmured, "Start by explaining what you mean by he's not your real dad."
"It's a long story," Korra sighed tiredly, thinking back to when she spilled her whole life story to Tarrlok and how exactly that ended with him running away from her in shock. Though that wasn't necessarily about her history, but because they unintentionally made out. It worked out in her favor in the end knowing how close they are now, but she couldn't deny the fact that it turned out a terrible mess as to the fact that both her and Tarrlok were fucked up.
"We have time," she reassured, seemingly calmed down from her tense posture and accusing tone just those few minutes prior. Korra heard a steady sigh escape her friend as she ran her fingers through her hair. "Look, I'm not mad. Yeah, I'm a little concerned for you and sure I'm shocked to say the least, but I just want to understand what's going on." Asami said with an indecipherable gleam in her eyes.
Resigning herself to yet another night of confessions, Korra nodded. "Fine," she conceded before tilting her head to the side and taking a deep breath in. "He's my adoptive father." She said simply.
Confused, Asami began. "You don't have-"
Though Korra intervened with another nod. "I'll tell you the whole story later, I-I'm just… I'm just trying to find the words to tell you about what happened between him and I first." She stuttered, taking a few seconds in the silence before continuing with her thumb fidgeting at the ring on her index finger. "Okay, he's not my real dad, Tarrlok's my adoptive father and both of my real parents died in a car crash when I was twelve. I was in an orphanage for a little less than five years and just a few days before I started school here in Republic City, I moved in with Tarrlok. He adopted me without the public knowing in March this year, but it didn't get finalized until the end of August." She paused, looking at Asami's face for any bad reaction early on in her story.
But there wasn't anything. Just a slightly bewildered expression on her beautiful features. "You're not lying about this, are you?" Asami questioned softly.
Brows furrowed together in slight offense, Korra shook her head. "What? No." She denied.
"Okay, okay, sorry," her friend apologized as she opened her mouth to continue her story, but Asami interjected. "H-he didn't adopt you just because of…?" She drawled with worry burning in her emerald irises.
Korra was at a loss. What was she talking about? "Because of what?" She asked curiously, if not even a little hesitant.
Asami wiggled her body the tiniest bit and her hands moved vaguely in the air as a sound bubbled in her throat. With narrowed eyes, and a small wince, Korra regarded the girl across from her in concern. "You guys are together… I don't want to jump to conclusions, but you're an attractive girl…" She hinted at, glancing at her textbook that remained opened and splayed on the rug beneath them.
But Korra got the message clear as day. It was obvious that she would have thought that way considering the reality of their relationship and at first glance, she didn't blame Asami. The worry was blatantly obvious and a part of her felt touched that Asami was concerned for her relationship with Tarrlok, but it really was no use when the majority of their mutual pining was due to her ministrations and teasings and whatnot only after he adopted her.
Even when she first met him way back in March, it seemed all too professional, too proper for her taste. There was nothing about their first encounter that indicated he found her attractive or of the fact that there was anything beyond a man who wanted to become a father.
"Oh… No, no. By the time everything was final, he only saw me as his kid. Trust me, I thought that too before we met. I heard stories about what some people did to orphans that they adopt and the time I had to talk with him he didn't seem the type of person. In all honesty, it felt kind of fake, like he was trying to be overly polite even when my caretakers weren't around. That changed pretty fast though. And when I first moved in I asked him why he even bothered adopting me. Other than that, it felt like I wasn't really adoptable anymore. I mean, I'm almost done with high school and he'll be spending a shit-ton of money for college just for us to know each other for what… a little more than a year… obviously I was curious and I had my own suspicions." Korra mused. It felt odd voicing this to her friend, foreign even. Because even though she spent a lot of her time with Tarrlok, telling someone other than him about this felt all too surreal, but at the same time liberating. "But no it wasn't like that, it was purely because he had always wanted a kid, nothing more." She added as an afterthought, her gaze straying from Asami and to the side towards the decorated tree in the corner of the room that illuminated warm lights that flickered in a pattern.
"Okay, that's good," Asami said with a nod, clearly relieved that her answer wasn't what she was expecting, specifically that Tarrlok was preying on her ever since lying icy eyes on her. She would have sensed that in an instant, but as it was, that wasn't the case.
"Honestly, this mess was all my fault." Korra admitted, staring absentmindedly at an ornament that looked as though Asami made it when she was a mere child. "Tarrlok was just trying to be a good father, and truthfully I think I messed it all up because of who I kept blaming this on." She mused aloud more to herself than to her friend. And it was true. She never thought about their situation this way until now and it felt all too right even though she didn't want to admit that it was her fault and not Mako's. "Subconsciously, I already knew the quirks I liked about Tarrlok, but I kept insisting it was his fault so it didn't make me feel that bad, and now that I think about it, it was all me."
"Who are you talking about?" She queried.
Korra shifted her gaze to Asami and thought back to the time they spent with each other in search for dresses, and unfortunately the night she snapped at Tarrlok. Though she couldn't deny that he had it coming, especially with what he said about 'holding in her blood'. She'd snapped at him, and he to her, many times in the past, but it wasn't anything that made her yell at the poor man.
"Do you remember when we went out after school a few weeks before homecoming and looked for dresses?" She asked, attempting to jog Asami's memory.
A few moments passed by as the girl across from her thought. "Yeah," Asami answered with a small nod.
Korra scratched at the back of her neck almost sheepishly. "I know it was a joke and he was just trying to get a reaction out of me, but Mako was talking about how close I was with Tarrlok." She revealed, feeling the heat of embarrassment already color her cheeks… or was that just the heat from the air circulating throughout the estate? "At the time it was mainly because I didn't know that many people and even though I had you guys we were just starting our friendship so it wasn't like I could easily say what was on my mind. I still didn't know how to act around you guys so I was hesitant then. But ever since then, all the stupid things I was feeling towards Tarrlok made sense. I mean, he never gave me a reason to like him this way. He acted like a dad, he did nothing that told me he wanted a relationship more than a father and daughter would have. But something idiotic in me realized that I liked him in that way and even though I noticed what I did like about him early on, it was so much more pronounced after what Mako joked about. I was only doing all these things to him because I honestly was trying to get him to like me back… it's stupid, I know."
Asami nodded once more, taking in the information Korra spilt similarly like a sponge would to liquid. She chewed at her lower lip, waiting for Asami's response. "So all my advice that you were asking for… was for him." She clarified with brows that pinched the slightest bit together.
"Mhm," she hummed in response.
The girl across from Korra let out an inappropriate, breathy chuckle before glancing at her with mirth and maybe even a little mischief replacing the worry in those viridian eyes. "You don't need to tell me if it worked or not, you already told me about it with his stage name. I could tell you two really like each other. And you know, with how much you were glowing after he finally dicked you down-"
"Asami," Korra responded with a lighthearted smile stretching her lips.
They giggled sheepishly. "Sorry, just lightening the mood." Asami apologized, though the rogue glint in her eyes didn't dissipate even after she did.
Korra appreciated that she was trying to lighten the heavy atmosphere. It was what they needed after all of that. And maybe it was just because she really wanted to feel content or not, she couldn't stop herself from relishing in the feel of raw honesty. Honesty that she hasn't even divulged in with Tarrlok. A part of her felt guilty for not saying something earlier to him, but then again most of their time spent together, at least as of late, was stripped of coherent sentences and replaced with carnal desires. She wasn't complaining though.
"You're taking this surprisingly well." Korra said as she regarded her friend, who of which had a tender smile curving her features.
"I'm still processing all of this even though I saw it a few weeks ago. See?" She explained, showing Korra her palms that had the tiniest sheen of perspiration on them. But then she shrugged, wiping her hands on her sweat pants before plucking at the fabric of the sofa, lost in thought. "The biggest thing that shocked me was that he was your dad, and now I know he's your adoptive dad which doesn't make that much of a difference, but I don't know… something about it and how you talk about him…"
"I'm really sorry I didn't tell you earlier. I just… I didn't know how to tell you guys without you guys getting mad at me when I already dug myself a hole and said he was my dad and that led to more lies and I just… there was so much that I built up that the thought of trying to tell you the truth seemed more and more out of my reach because I thought you'd all react horribly." She rambled hastily. Although with Asami's foot prodding her own to snap her out of her reverie, she knew she was overthinking this. Or maybe she wasn't. It was a natural reaction, after all.
"It's fine, you're telling me now, right?" Asami reassured. But then her expression turned thoughtful once more. Korra regarded her in slight uneasiness as the silence stretched on, and when she broke the quietness with a serious look, Korra didn't know how to feel. "You don't have to answer, but why him?" Asami asked, only almost instantly realizing her mistake. "That came out wrong, I-" She already began apologizing, but Korra didn't think too much on it.
"Liking someone is unintentional… and with Tarrlok, it was all unintentional before I tried getting his attention. He's sweet, caring, intelligent, but dense and gullible all at the same time. He's too smug for his own good, but that's what makes him so funny and irritating. And spirits know you already know he's handsome." Korra giggled, recalling the way Asami constantly flirted with Tarrlok even though it was all a ploy to get a disgusted reaction out of her. When she did that on her first day of school, of course it was a shock, but as she incessantly toyed with him she didn't mind. She knew it was a joke anyhow. But the longer she thought of Tarrlok as just Tarrlok, stripped of the titles and political veneer, the more her heart warmed. "I don't know… I think what made me like him so much is that he cares and trusts and understands me. I mean, after the crash not a lot of people were at all nice to me or even thought to care about me. My old caretakers didn't care, they focused on the toddlers and babies. My old friends, if you could even call them that, exploited my past and used it against me. I mean, I can't say that nobody cares about me now, I know you guys do, and I don't know how to explain it, but with Tarrlok, it's different."
And it was true. The way he cared for her was so much different than how she felt with Asami or Mako or Bolin. She had to take into account that he genuinely did have to take care of her through the legal aspect of their relationship, but it felt… real. Maybe she was defending him too much. Maybe she was biased, which she knew she was. And maybe all these feelings she felt towards him, he could be toying with her in the end. It was certainly plausible with his given career choice, but just as she acknowledged in the past, it felt sincere, authentic.
"I just have one more question," Asami asked, breaking the silence that Korra didn't even know they lapsed into.
"You might as well ask it." She answered with a shrug. There wasn't a better time than now considering the two idiots were gone and who knew when she and Asami would have another moment alone.
From the corner of her eyes, she saw Asami fiddling with her fingers, peeling at loose skin around her nail beds and appearing as though she were unwilling to look up from her small distraction. "Do you love him?"
Out of all things, Korra wasn't expecting that.
She had to give it some thought, and just as Asami was doing, she looked everywhere that wasn't her friend, fixating her gaze towards the flames flickering from the candles that perched themselves on the mantelpiece. With the way she just described Tarrlok, it surely sounded like she was in love with him. Maybe even going as far as sounding like a lovesick school girl. That wasn't out of the realm of possibility.
With all the things they've done with one another. With all the things they confessed to one another. Everything in the past three months of living in Republic City had to do with Tarrlok. Unintentional or not, he was there for the majority of her memories, if not all.
At this point, it wasn't merely sex with him that had her heart racing. It was the little things, the little quirks that happened between them. From simply holding her hand and embracing to stave off the cold to massaging her leg after pulling a muscle during volleyball practice, spirits, even the mere scent of the man, she couldn't deny the feeling. After a month of being with him intimately, was this how it felt to be in love? Chewing at her lower lip, Korra's heart fluttered at the realization.
"Yeah, I do."
—-
She was crying. Not just her, but Asami as well. But it wasn't tears of melancholy, rather of consolation. In all her years in the orphanage, Korra never thought that it would ever come to this. If someone were to tell her that she'd end up falling in love with her adoptive father and not only divulging, but also trusting the people she had come to be close with, she wouldn't have believed them for one second. Korra would tell them to fuck off, to never joke with her to actually think that that would be her life at only seventeen and really soon-to-be eighteen.
And yet… here she was. Hugging Asami with all her might as tears streamed down both of their faces and dripping onto their clothes after confessing her life story to her best friend just as she had that night with Tarrlok. If she could take a glance at the two of them on the floor, weeping as if someone had died, Korra assumed they looked like a total mess. There was no denying it.
"I'm so sorry." Asami gasped through her tears as she pulled back and wiped at the wet streaks on her cheeks with the back of her hand.
Korra shook her head, mimicking her friend and sniffing up the snot filling her sinuses. "Seriously you don't have to be. Just being able to talk to you about this really helps. I mean besides Tarrlok and my old friends, you're the only other person I talked about this to." She responded with a soft smile.
Asami let out a giggle in relief, offering her a smile of her own before swallowing audibly. "Come here," she said with arms wide open once more. Korra couldn't refuse the hug she offered. A part of her was relieved that Asami mentioned what she witness those few weeks ago because now the unspoken weight on her chest lifted.
She was glad that it was Asami that saw her and Tarrlok acting all frisky and not some other person. That would have been a nightmare. She just hoped she didn't speak too soon.
Not too long later, Korra heard footsteps padding along the wood with the sound of plastic crinkling with their movement. "Umm, did we miss something?" Bolin asked as he took in the image of her and Asami hugging each other with tears lining their cheeks.
Asami pulled away at the sound of the younger brother's bewildered voice and gestured for them to come closer with the flick of her hand. "Shut up and come here too."
Without another word, the brothers hastily closed the distance between them as she and Asami wrapped their arms around the two boys. Bolin accepted the embrace all too gladly, a smile plastered on his face, while Mako's features scrunched up in a grimace. "Guys, you're squishing our food." Mako complained.
Tarrlok loathed this. This whole situation, this man… everything. He wished he could have refused Hiroshi and tried to negotiate with the man. He wished he was nestled underneath a blanket with a good book and Naga at his side. Truthfully, he wished he was anywhere but under a suspicious bridge, but as it was, there wasn't going back.
It was freezing despite it only being a quarter past eight and not even his coat could mask the frigid temperature that seeped through the material. Both he and Noatak stood side by side, leaning against a pillar as they waited for Sato, listening to the sound of oncoming cars passing above them. He puffed on a cigarette, focusing on the nicotine while his brother folded his arms across his chest, tapping his bicep in an unspoken rhythm and unconsciously biting at his bottom lip. It was odd to witness Noatak uneasy. And that in of itself should have flared alarms in his mind that he needed to be alert.
Yet oddly enough, he felt calm. And it wasn't the nicotine. Despite the hate that coursed through him towards their former boss, Tarrlok was certain that he should have felt at least the slightest bit on edge considering he and Noatak were investigating with Sato tonight.
Breathing the relaxing toxins in one last inhale, Tarrlok flicked what little was left of his cigarette to the ground before flattening it with his foot. And soon enough, he heard the sound of wheels stirring gravel, both his and Noatak's head turning at the noise as they regarded the black car. It was Hiroshi.
He sported some suit in what appeared to be a pilot's uniform and Tarrlok could only guess it was to hide what he was really doing with them from his daughter. Rightfully so, he wouldn't dare think of what Korra thought, as well as Miss Sato, if they found out their families had history woven together. Though not in the good way he was sure the two friends would have thought of.
"I was beginning to think you stranded us tonight for one of your other goons." Tarrlok quipped at the sight of their former boss making his way towards them. Maybe it was the sight of him, or maybe it was the implications of what exactly they were doing that finally hit him with a sudden gust of uneasiness. He ventured to guess it was the former.
Hiroshi scoffed at that, eyes set on Tarrlok's own in challenge. "Don't act so cocky, Councilman. You were one of them before… and considering the circumstances, still are." He said as a matter of factly. With the knowledge that they in fact did return to Sato, moreso Noatak than he, that only caused Tarrlok's blood to boil all the more. With what he and Noatak had been through with their own family and Sato all those years ago, he hated feeling berated. Hiroshi must have seen the ire in Tarrlok steadily building because he shook his head with a condescending smile plastered on his aged face. "If you must know, I wasn't in fact with my other employees, rather, I finally met that teenager of yours. Quite a vapid girl from our little exchange." Sato provoked smugly.
He felt the rage hastily rise in him and felt an unpleasant heat grow over his neck and cheeks. Sato could provoke all he wanted towards him, but once he brought Korra into the picture, he couldn't deal with that. Tarrlok opened his mouth, seemingly content with the fact that he could tear their former boss apart with his words, but just as a sound of bubbled up in his throat Noatak pressed a taut hand onto his chest.
"Before tensions rise even more than they have, we should really be focusing on the case. Not on personal matters… brother." Noatak intervened, stressing his point more towards Tarrlok than the two of them collectively. He didn't have a problem with that lest they ended up spending all night jeering towards one another rather than have a productive night investigating, though that didn't stop him from imagining some unfortunate event randomly occur on Sato. Such a shame if anything terrible would happen. Tarrlok prayed to the spirits that they were listening.
He acquiesced, if not for his own dignity, but for his brother's sake. Noatak had done his fair share of protecting Tarrlok and he didn't want his older brother to pay for the consequences of actions that weren't even his own.
The three of them were bunched in Sato's car, surprisingly a small thing than what he remembered, as Noatak drove to an address past the mountains of the city. From what his brother mentioned the night before, he had been smoking underneath the bridge and with what little information he received from a passersby who happened to have knowledge on what exactly Noatak was doing, he accidentally dropped a torn piece of paper near his brother before stalking off as though nothing happened.
All that was hastily scrawled was an unfamiliar address.
And yet as they were parked in a near empty lot across the establishment that appeared to be a warehouse of some kind, nothing seemed abnormal. It looked as though it were a normal building, despite the whole area being questionable.
They spent a few hours there, hiding in the shadows and watching, Noatak all too consciously munching on a cookie while all three ducked down in the car. He had to give Noatak credit for doing this hours on end in the dead of night. He knew they used to do this together over a decade ago, but things change… specifically that of having a desk job that called for hours spent scrawling revisions and making decisions for the city using the day. The exhaustion and boredom already got to his brain, and he only spent nearly three hours with the two.
They were all resigning themselves to the fact that they wouldn't receive anything out of the ordinary and that Noatak would have to return to the area the following day. That is, until his brother turned the key, the car starting up once more as they shifted in their seats.
A single light turned on in the warehouse. Though it looked as if the window had been covered up from the inside and warm light seeped from the corners of what was blocking their view. They froze, and when, once again, nothing happened the next few minutes, Sato mumbled a hasty, "Noatak you're continuing this tomorrow."
With a nod from his brother, they returned to the city as they discussed what might have happened. Call it a hunch, and he may be completely wrong about this, but it all seemed staged. Who knew, it was only the beginning of their investigation and there was barely any leads.
There was a light bounce in her step as she made her way home. All throughout her journey to the train station with Mako and Bolin, to sitting in a near empty tram, to walking the short distance from the station to the estate.
She was surprised with how well the night turned out to be. It felt surreal in a sense. The fact that Asami hid what she saw for little more than two weeks and hid it well… well, Korra was proud that she managed to turn what could have been a sour situation into something good. Not only because she grabbed the opportunity to spill her guts to her best friend, but she felt the weight practically lift from her chest. She had always wanted to tell Asami the truth, and she berated herself for lying in the first place. Yet, she killed two birds with one stone. All in the same night… and that didn't even include the fact that she came to terms with what she'd been feeling towards Tarrlok.
Spirits, how was she so blind? Was her head that submerged in the clouds?
It only took Asami asking that question for her to step back and really think about it. And knowing that she came to that conclusion, she couldn't decide whether she should be rejoicing with a beer or chastising herself at her foolish behavior.
She couldn't think too long on the topic for Korra didn't realize she was already at the estate until warmth spread across her cheeks and the sound of a spoon tapped against china. She made her way towards the sound and found Naga sitting patiently beside a sweater-clad Tarrlok stirring some pretentious drink of his. She had no doubt it was one of those teas he hid in one of the cabinets.
Once Naga sensed her presence, she bolted from her spot and sniffed curiously at Korra's feet. And immediately, she saw those pale blue eyes shift from exhaustion to worry when he glanced up from his tea towards her awkwardly standing at the entrance of the kitchen. "Are you okay? You look like you've been crying." He questioned, moving behind the counter to meet her at the threshold with a hand cupping her cheek all too gently. She nearly let out a chuckle at how concerned he was for her, though she knew it wasn't anything to worry about.
"I was, but I'm fine. You don't need to worry about it." She said in what she hoped was reassurance. Korra didn't need a prodding Tarrlok when she knew for a fact that it was too early to say those three simple words.
His eyes searched her face as she tucked a strand of loose hair behind his ear, mimicking the light touch he'd always offered to her. It felt weird to do something so gentle. It wasn't in her nature… but it felt nice. "I'm not sure I believe you." He uttered simply, brows pinched the slightest bit and pale blue eyes still set with a glimmer of concern. That had a smile quirking the corners of her mouth as a breathy giggle escaped her.
"Trust me." She whispered before leaning in and capturing his lips in a chaste kiss, tasting the tiniest hint of chamomile and the new light she saw him in.