I've had to play with the timelines a little bit over the last couple of chapters and over these next two on account of if I was following the way the episodes follow in other in Home and Away's version of "real time" then teenagers would be going to school on Saturday so it means that Charlie and Joey get to spend some more snuggle-time together before the proverbial hits the fan. I hope there are no objections! Thank you once again for all your support and wonderful comments!

Chapter Twenty-Five: Joey Collins Diary

Wednesday 22nd April 2009

8:37pm

Now that all the mess with Brett is done and dusted, Charlie and I have had a happy couple of days together. Things finally feel back to normal. In fact, they almost feel more normal than they were before. Charlie's still struggling and I know she's trying to keep that inside. She doesn't really want to talk about how she feels about everything that's happened but she does keep bursting out with sappy declarations of love. I'm not quite sure what I've done to deserve them but I'll take what I can get!

Charlie went out for lunch soon after we were finally allowed to see each other. Neither of us were in the mood to even make a sandwich so she volunteered to get take away from the Diner. I was reluctant to let her go and used lots of kisses to persuade her not to rush out right away. She was gone for a while and every second felt like an hour but finally she came back. We ate together and talked a little about what had happened the day before. Obviously she's still hurting over it because she's not being very open but I need to be patient and give her space. Charlie doesn't exactly find it easy to talk about her feelings at the best of times. She did express relief at the support of her colleagues though. Nobody seemed to care and obviously they didn't find a case to answer so maybe this is another step towards moving on.

After lunch, we got stuck into washing the car and getting rid of Brett's 'art'. I was surprised nobody had done it sooner to be honest. I'd been planning on getting it clean before Charlie got home from work yesterday but then I got the call from the police station and everything and so couldn't do it in the end. But as it turned out, we had a pretty fun afternoon, washing the car and getting into a water fight! It was nice to just laugh and relax and be normal together without feeling like we have the weight of the world on our shoulders.

Ruby arrived home with Xavier just as we were finishing. Charlie had soaked me so I was keen to get clean in the shower. Charlie was in the bedroom looking stressed out when I got out again. She muttered something about Ruby not forgiving her yet for embarrassing her at school and then she burst into tears and made me confirm that I knew how much she loved me. I rushed over to hold her and she wrapped her arms around me tightly, as if she needed me to support her weight. I didn't really know what to do so I just stroked her hair and her back and told her that I knew and that everything would be okay. We sat down on the bed and she apologised (as if that was necessary) and said that everything yesterday had just got on top of her. Then she kissed me in a way I haven't experienced up until now. There was just something so emotionally urgent in her. Normally her kisses are so gentle but this one wasn't. It was almost fierce. And she was still crying. Before I even knew what was happening, I was lying back on the bed and my towel had been removed. I stopped her momentarily and checked that she was okay. It felt strange to me, although not in an unpleasant way. She just kind of breathed that she needed me. So I kissed her back just as hard. We made love and again, it was different. Charlie was intent on only making me happy. I was hardly even allowed to touch her! The first time was rushed but satisfying and eventually we both relaxed and the whole not-touching thing turned into a very frustrating game! We missed dinner completely and curling up with her afterwards she seemed to get emotional again. I tried to lighten the mood by teasing her and asking if she'd turned into a stone butch. Then I had to explain that a stone butch is a woman who likes to do all the work. She was horrified and said that she was far too selfish to give up my touch full-time. I couldn't help be curious as to why she'd suddenly wanted to take charge. She laughed it off and said she just needed the practice to get perfect for me. She's already perfect. And I told her so. Then she got all sappy again and declared that she wanted to spend the rest of her life proving to me exactly how she felt about me. I think I can live with that!

She finally went for her long-overdue shower and I asked her to start treating me like a Queen by bringing me the paper. She wanted to know why and I pointed out that I was now homeless as well as unemployed and I needed to get my act together. She immediately invited me to move in. I objected, considering it's Leah's house so she sent her a text to ask. Leah replied saying she thought I already had moved back in and it was fine by her.

So, after clearing it with Ruby, who was in a fairly bad mood but still receptive to me becoming a full-timer, Charlie drove me over to Brett's to get the rest of my stuff. This time, she opted not to hide round the corner but actually came into the house with me, holding my hand. I pointed out that this was like waving a rag at a bull but she didn't care. Brett was typically aggressive and the whole experience was fairly traumatic for both of us, all three of us probably, but we got through it. Between Charlie and I, we got my stuff loaded up into the car and drove away, stopping off for take away on our way home. We really need to learn to cook more. Maybe sometime this week I'll cook dinner for all of us. It'll be a nice way of saying thank you to everyone for taking me in and for being so supportive.

So, last night we spent our first night together as a live-in couple. It was nice. She's made space for me in her room so that it can be my space as well as hers. That meant a lot to me.

I set to the task of getting a job this morning and succeeded. Hooray! It's not exactly what I was after as it's more stationary than I would have liked but it's still something to do with the boating industry and it's better than nothing so it's good enough for me. I do get to go out sometimes but mostly I'm just arranging trips for people – like hour long sea view journeys and things like that. It's fine for now. I have to build up a good reputation down there, I know. I walked out of one job and pretty much everyone knows the awful reason why. And then I gave up another wonderful opportunity to go on a long haul and now everyone knows why that was too. Because I'm a big, scary lesbian! So I need to prove myself reliable around here if I'm going to get a position that I want to be in. And this job doesn't seem too bad, although it's a bit too focussed on administration. But I'll cope.

I start work tomorrow and to celebrate my new employment and the fact that she had a day off work, Charlie drove us up the coast for the day to spend the afternoon on the beach for a picnic, away from people we know. We had such a lovely time together. I wish every day could be like this. We came back down with a bump when we got home though. Leah was upset because a lunch thing with Roman hadn't gone that well. He's not coping with his blindness and he doesn't seem to want anyone to help him. Charlie had to go to work so I'm now sitting in front the TV, writing and keeping Leah company. I miss Charlie. It's going to be hard to get used to night shifts and having to sleep here without her. But at least I'm only sleeping alone because she's working. At least it's not because she's ashamed and hiding in Ruby's room or, God forbid, we've ended our relationship. Night shifts feel like the best reason out of a bad bunch.

Thursday 23rd April 2009

11:53pm

I suddenly feel old and married. Charlie and I are currently tucked up in bed writing in our diaries with mugs of hot chocolate. I guess it's kind of cute.

I started my new job today and it felt really good to be back at work. My colleagues are all nice and I'm getting on well with the customers. Charlie popped in to see me in the morning on her way home from work, which was a pleasant surprise. We arranged to have lunch together and went out to the Diner for it. There were a few stares and nudges but we coped. We had a nice break together and she didn't pull away like I'd stung her when I touched her hand this time. Although, she might have wanted to. I'm not entirely sure. She tensed. But she didn't freak out and reject me. Call me what you like but I see that as progress. I got a call on my way back to work from Steve and he and invited Charlie and I to go and have dinner with him and Adam. I wasn't sure if Charlie would go for it but she readily agreed.

So, after a successful day at my shiny, new job, we drove out to see them and had a great evening. Away from Summer Bay and all the people she knows, Charlie seems to relax and not mind being seen with me, not to mention two obviously gay men. We laughed a lot. The boys interrogated Charlie within an inch of her life about whether she was good enough for me, but not in a scary way (I hope!). They then embarrassed me by revealing just how besotted I've been with her ever since we met.

On the way home, Charlie parked at the beach and we went for a quiet walk in the moonlight to finish the evening off. It felt so romantic walking along the surf with bare feet, holding hands and stopping to kiss whenever we felt like it. This is the kind of thing I've only ever dreamed about. Charlie really is the most perfect vision of beauty. I'm the luckiest girl in the entire world. I'm so happy. And I swear I'm not just writing that because she's peeking over my shoulder right now!

Friday 24th April 2009

5:45pm

I appeared to be going on some kind of surprise trip for the weekend. The day started of normally enough. I had breakfast with Leah, Ruby, VJ and Charlie and then I went to work all day. Well, the only weird thing that happened was that Charlie and Ruby seemed to be arguing more than normal. I walked in on some kind of tense conversation. I guess it could either be Ruby still being mad at Charlie about the school thing. Although really, please give it up! However, with those two, it could have been something as insignificant as Ruby moving Charlie's stuff. She really is kind of possessive.

Work was really busy and I barely got time for a break but it was fun. I got home half an hour ago to find a note on the kitchen table from Charlie telling me to pack for the weekend because we were going away together. So now, I'm packed and ready and waiting for her to come home! She's far too good to me.

Sunday 26th April 2009

10:56pm

Charlie and I just got back from the most perfect weekend away. She drove us out into the city and had booked a hotel. A hotel room for two women and Charlie Buckton booked it and checked us in all by herself! I'm really proud of her.

The drive was fun. We talked a lot and sang ridiculously loudly to the radio! We were pretty tired by the time we arrived so we just ordered room service and pretty much fell into bed and were asleep within minutes.

On the Saturday, we were up and out early and ready to take in the sights. We were such geeky tourists. We did the art galleries, museums (Charlie even found us a boating museum!) and everything remotely tacky that we could find, including buying overpriced souvenirs and having our photograph taken together in one of those booth things. That was fun!

In the afternoon we spotted a random play showing at a small theatre so we went to see it. She carefully warned me not to get any ideas because this was a theatre, not a cinema! As if I would! Honestly… The play was pretty funny and we both really enjoyed it.

We went back to the hotel afterwards for some chill out time and ended up taking full advantage of the king size bed. What can I say? It's a good way to relax! And if you can't get wrapped up in your girlfriend on a romantic trip away, when can you?

After dinner, I dragged her out to a gay bar I'd seen. She was hesitant. It's really not her scene but after some gentle persuasion, she was game to try it. I thought her brain was going to explode when she bumped into a couple of rather hefty drag queens. I nearly spilled my drink giggling at her fright. But she did settle and she did start to relax. We talked, we laughed, we danced and we even made friends with another group of tourists out partying on their last night. It was awesome.

Today we took everything as slowly as possible, including the drive home, although the 'registration plate game', 'the alphabet game' and 'I Spy' did get tedious after a while so Charlie was keen to speed up. Now she's tucked up in bed, like I should be but I'm feeling a little restless even though I'm utterly exhausted and I know I have to work tomorrow. Perhaps if I close my eyes really tightly, sleep will come.