Response to reviews:
ImpSlap - yayyy, thank you. It just really try and set me inside of the character's mind. Sorry this part has taken so long.
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James POV
My shoulder was being jabbed. That's how I awoke that morning.
Groaning, I opened one eye, noticing Wanda fast asleep with her arm drawn over my torso. I could easily slip away if I needed to.
My head slowly turned around to see Steve and Natalia hovering above me. Steve's eyebrows were raised, an 'I told you so' look on his face. Natalia just seemed amused by the whole situation, smirking at me as I lay there.
The redhead lying on me moaned as I tried to move away. Grimacing, I slipped my legs from the warmth of the bed and tried to move my top half away, carefully letting her lie on the mattress. I saw a small frown grow on her face and wanted nothing more than to reach out and smooth it away. I resisted since Steve and Natalia were standing right behind me. I didn't want them to make more fun out of me than they were already going to.
I turned to face them with a bored expression. Natalia pointed to the clothes I had taken off last night and I followed her orders, dressing quickly and following them out of the door so Wanda would not be disturbed.
Once the door was shut, I headed for Wanda's kitchen.
"What was-"
"Hang on," I interrupted Steve as I quickly filled a glass of water and headed back towards the bedroom. I placed the glass on her bedside, sparing a glance at her. Even though she was hungover with messy hair, she still looked beautiful somehow. I wanted to get back into bed with her, but I had the interview to get on with.
Stepping into the bathroom, I looked for some ibuprofen. After finding the medication, I placed it next to the water. I grabbed the set of post-it notes that were on her table and wrote 'Eat and drink this. I'll meet you on the jet to Wakanda. J x'
I placed the note with the two items, took one last look at her beautiful face and returned to the living room, carefully shutting the door behind me.
I slowly turned around. Steve and Natalia who both had their arms crossed. A few seconds of silence passed between us. I wondered what they were thinking. I was fed up of nothing happening and moved to the kitchen island to grab a piece of fruit when Natalia spoke.
"You love her, don't you." I immediately stopped. Was she jokin?
"What?" I'd thought about the concept the other day, but I didn't know what to think.
"She's right," Steve agreed. I turned to him, my frown deepening. Why was he on her side? "I'm not saying in what way, maybe you don't know yourself, but anyone paying attention can see how much you care for her."
I pushed passed them and grabbed an apple from Wanda's fruit basket. "This is a stupid conversation."
"It's nothing bad, James. If anything, it's probably good for you," Natalia argued. I rolled my eyes and turned to face them again.
"I don't. I can't."
"Why not?" Steve retorted, moving to stand next to me. He wasn't angry or trying to push a feeling on me, but it almost felt that way.
"Because I'm me, Steve," I told him simply. "HYDRA fucked up my brain, alright?!" I half-shouted, moving to look out of the window. All of this was so complicated. I knew I had a connection with her, but it might've just been her powers affecting my head and the fact I nearly spent every day with her. The thing was that I wanted to spend every day with her.
I sighed and shook my head, calming my mind for a moment. I knew I couldn't just keep these feelings bottled up. Honestly, Natalia and Steve were the best people to tell. They could keep a secret if their lives depended on it.
"I don't want to love her...but at the same time, it's all I want," I admitted, staring out at the horizon of green trees. Loving Wanda could be so easy because it was happening to me without my permission. I felt so drawn to her like we needed to be tethered together. Not seeing her every day would be so difficult, my future without her just looked bleak. She was so radiant, so loving, so happy. She made me a better person and I would struggle without her.
"I don't even know how I feel. It's so...confusing." I made a small grunt of frustration and turned back around. "I just...can we just not talk about it right now?"
Steve nodded. "Alright," he replied, clearing his throat.
"You need to get ready for the interview anyway," Natalia added, gesturing with her arm for us to leave to get ready. As we walked to the door, I spoke up.
"Not a word of what just happened to anyone, okay?" They both nodded.
"We would never," Natalia answered with a smile. She put a hand on my arm, squeezed it gently, and opened the door for us. It was nice to have the two of them with me. I trusted them so much more now, especially Steve compared to a few weeks ago. Our friendship was cementing well. I think he could tell too. We were becoming more friendly in the way we interacted with each other - an occasional slap on the back or 'pal' instead of our first names. It was nice.
2 hours later
Tick. Tick. Tick.
I was sitting in our waiting room with Natalia, watching the clock tick away the seconds until we had to go on.
There was a knock at the door. "FIVE MINUTE WARNING!" somebody shouted from behind it. I stood up and looked at my reflection in the mirror. Sighing, I ran my hands over the front of my suit. This was going to be stressful.
"James," she whispered, placing her hands on my shoulders. She kneaded them a little with her hands as I looked back at her in the mirror. "You can do this. I'll be right beside you. Remember, I'll cough if you're going wrong. Just relax."
We were quickly rushed out of the room and mics were attached to us. I took a breath when it came to a minute before we went on stage. I shut my eyes.
'Hey.'
I smiled. I was hearing Wanda's voice in my head. 'I could feel how anxious you were and it woke me up, are you okay?'
Even through our telepathy she sounded sleepy. 'I'm going on for my interview in a minute.'
'Shit, sorry, I should've woken up earlier.' My mind went to her peaceful face earlier that morning. I smiled again.
'It's okay, I wanted you to sleep. I have to go on in 40 seconds by the way.'
'Wow, okay then. Um...just be yourself, it's going to be fine and if you get agitated just let Natasha know by saying "can I have some water?", okay?'
I nodded before realising she wasn't standing in front of me. 'Okay.' I felt someone's touch on my arm. It was Natalia. It was time. 'Wish me luck.'
'You've got this.' Our connection disappeared.
I looked at the stage ahead, the presenter looking my way to watch me walk on stage. I took a breath before walking out, Natalia behind me. The gasps from the audience were the only thing to be heard.
Wanda POV
God. Kill me. I woke up feeling so sick, but I knew there was something wrong. I tried to tune into what the matter was and thankfully managed to communicate with James.
'You've got this,' I sent to him before letting our connection go. I prayed that his interview would go well. He deserved something good to happen to him. I turned over to look at the clock. 9am? No. I turned over and went back to sleep for another hour.
My eyes continued to open and close over that hour, debating getting up to do something. It was when I noticed a post-it note on a glass that I chose to sit up. I shuffled, slowly, over to the side of my bed and picked up the note.
Eat and drink this. I'll meet you on the jet to Wakanda. J x
My heart fluttered. Not only was he the kindest person on the planet, but I also didn't fail to notice the small kiss at the end of his note. I fought to contain my smile. Though I told myself it was nothing, I felt like it actually did mean something. He would never have done something like that before. Maybe it was the kiss I added to last night's text.
Ugh. Last night. I remembered a...woman hitting on James, but apart from that, very blurry. I groaned again, lying down against the mattress. Images of myself dancing on the bar entered my brain. Oh god.
"JARVIS? How embarrassing was I last night?" I moaned, smushing my fingers into my eyes to try and wake myself up. That just made my brain hurt even more. I sighed and turned onto my other side.
"I have no place to say, but I can assure you that it was definitely less embarrassing than anything Mr. Stark has done in the past. I would recommend asking one of the other Avengers that question."
Perhaps J.A.R.V.I.S was just being kind and didn't want to say the full extent of what happened. Even though he was based on Tony's subconscious, J.A.R.V.I.S was much nicer than him. "Can you ask Clint?"
"I will ask him now." I stared out the window and squinted as the sunlight streamed through. Yes, it was a lovely day, but that didn't mean I had to enjoy it. "He says, and I quote, "I don't fucking remember a thing.""
I rolled my eyes. "Errrr, Steve?"
"I will ask him now." Another few moments of silence went by and I noticed that the sun had dimmed a little, my eyes feeling at ease. I pulled the covers up a little, noticing the dark clouds looming in the distance. "Mr. Rogers says, and I quote, "You weren't that bad. It was funny, not embarrassing. We're in the kitchen if you would like to join us. If you need any help with anything, let me know. I believe James left you some water to help you."
My head turned to the glass. It was so sweet that he'd taken the time to arrange the small greeting. I smiled and felt my stomach twinge. I was pretty certain the hangover had nothing to do with it.
My mind wandered for a minute, thinking about if he didn't have the meeting this morning. Would he have stayed? Would he have gentlemanly slid out from the covers to make me breakfast? Or would he have been spooned up behind me? He could've tried to make a move on me. He wouldn't though. I was 100% certain I could trust James.
I downed some of the water he had kindly fetched as I thought about how I would risk my life to save him. I frowned. We definitely weren't just friends. We weren't in a romantic relationship, but something was different. It felt comfortably unpredictable. I smirked, liking the new one phrase I'd created to describe him - comfortably unpredictable.
The excitement of seeing him again spurred me to get out of bed...slowly. I undressed in the bathroom and started the water running. There was something about him that I didn't want to leave alone. I wanted to keep him by my side, but not in a possessive, pet way. I wanted him to be my partner.
I almost had to steady myself when I came to that realisation. I squeezed some shampoo into my hand and began massaging my scalp. I hadn't felt like I wanted a partner since Pietro was around. Clint was different, our relationship was tutor and student as well as father and daughter, but with Pietro and James I was on an even playing field.
Maybe I'm ready for this. It might be the best thing for me. We work really well together and I feel like he understands me more than a lot of people do. Also, after a few days time when his interview will be released, he'll be able to publicly work with me.
I then remembered that it wasn't my choice, but Steve's. I had input into who my partner was but his decision is the final one. Perhaps he'd think we're too close to be working together. I shook those thoughts off as I continued to wash my hair.
I felt much better after my shower - one of the best hangover cures around. I looked through my wardrobe and found a nice summer dress to wear. It was a short, thin, yellow dress with small flowers scattered across it. I smiled at myself in the mirror as I dried my hair. Knowing that the team was still in the kitchen, I quickly did a French side braid so my hair would look so ragged.
"There she is!" Tony shouted as I entered the room, much to my annoyance. I squinted and tried to ignore the headache it was bringing on, as usual.
"Maybe not so loud," I told him, putting my fingers in my ears. I reached out to grab a banana. That felt like the only thing I could stomach at the moment. Actually, I could do with some pasta.
"Did you have fun last night?" Tony asked, throwing a berry up in the air and catching it in his mouth. How could he be so perky? I guessed he had built up a resistance to hangovers.
"From what I can remember, yes," I muttered quietly. Tony laughed and shook his head.
"Do you want to know what you did?" he asked, tilting his head up and raising an eyebrow.
"Honestly? Not right now. I want to sit here and eat a shit tonne of pasta. Thank you," I replied, grabbing a pan and filling it with water. I placed it on the stove, gently so it didn't make a noise, and sat back down again.
"Here you are," Steve said, sliding a glass of water in front of me. I smiled at him and leant against his side. He put his arm around me and squeezed. I was thankful I had a friend like him.
"Thank you Stevie," I said, but didn't take a sip. I needed some food first.
After cooking the pasta and learning that I was a little more than drunk last night (I cannot believe I danced on the bar?!), I headed to my room to pack. I was at my door when the shout of 'Wanda!' stopped me.
"What's up, Clint?" He followed me into my room and settled on the bed.
"Should I be worried about my daughter venturing off on holiday with a boy!?" he asked with mock shock. I turned to him, cheeks a little flushed, and rolled my eyes.
"I promise we'll only hold hands," I answered with a pout. I grabbed a soft-shell bag to pack my clothes into. Searching through my wardrobe, I realised I didn't know what weather to expect. Hot? Cold? I nearly hit my head against the wall. Africa, obviously hot.
"I'm a cool dad, don't worry," he smirked, lying back on the bed. I chuckled, my fingers swept over the different materials. I picked out a summer-y, red playsuit that I managed to pick up at a market a few months back. I reminded me of a similar clothing item that was lost in Sokovia.
Smiling, I placed it in the bag. "Can we talk about him?" I stopped my hand movements and turned.
"What is there to talk about?" I asked, sitting down on the bed opposite him.
He quirked his eyebrow, a sly smile coming onto his face. "I'm not an idiot." He shrugged. "Plus, Natasha told me about your late night last night. I mean, how long has that been going on?"
My cheeks flushed red as I shoved my face into a nearby cushion. Peaking my head out, I asked: "does everyone know about that?"
Clint shrugged. "Most people guessed there's something going on between you two-
"But there isn't! At least not in the way everyone thinks!" I near-shouted, feeling a strike of embarrassment go through me. Everyone assumed that we were an item now just because we spent lots of our spare time together. My red face only got worse when I thought about how I must've looked to everyone else. Did they think I was easy? Did they think I was punching above my weight? I put my head back in the pillow, not knowing what to do.
I felt Clint's hand rest on my back. "Tell me honestly how you feel about him. I won't go talking to Natasha. She knows what everyone thinks and feels anyway."
I groaned, sulking into the cushion that had now become my home. I wasn't moving. Forget Wakanda, this was it now. Order me a pizza every now and again and I'll be good.
"You don't have to talk about it, but there's obviously something going on."
I stared at the sheets. Clint was right. I couldn't bottle what was going on inside me. I pushed my hands together and cracked my knuckles out of habit, something to do. I took a breath.
"I don't know what's going on between us if I'm completely honest. Part of me just wants to jump his bones and fuck him." Clint gagged and held his chest. I rolled my eyes.
"Buuut there's definitely something else going on. I want more than just sex with him. I respect him too much. Also..." Clint quirked his eyebrow in anticipation. "I think I like him." I locked eyes with Clint, so he knew I was being completely honest. "A lot."
It was the first time I'd admitted it to myself. There was something about him that made my stomach clench and my heart flutter. I had this desire for him like no other boy I'd met. It drew me in like a fish on a hook. He was so pure, down to Earth. He understood the difficulties and harsh realities of life, unlike Steve who tried to turn them into an experience you learn from or Tony who drank to forget them.
He felt like home. I knew that was cheesy and ridiculous, but I felt so relaxed whenever I was around him. An easing feeling would run down my neck and spine whenever I was with him. I loved him.
"Fuck," I whispered. I looked up at Clint. "I love him, shit." I was panicking a bit now. I loved him? What the fuck was I supposed to do with that? I worked with him and I needed him in my life, but love? That felt like a whole different ballpark.
"Hold up there, you what now?" Clint near-shouted, quickly sitting up.
"I think I love him..." My chest was filled with butterflies. I took a deep breath and sighed. Many things made me smile, but he made me smile more than a lot. He makes me feel like I shouldn't underestimate myself. The idea of being around him made me feel...happy.
"This quickly?" Clint pressed. I shrugged.
"Whether it's sexually, romantically or w-whatever, I love him! Shiiiiittt! What the fuck do I do?" I groaned, pushing my head into the duvet. I'm such an idiot. I've spent all this time with him and this happens. I could've just let him be my training partner and that would be it, but noooo, I had to go and fall in love with him. Asshole. Me, not him. Maybe him too.
"Honestly, I have no idea." My head shot up to glare at Clint.
"Thanks," I deadpanned.
Clint looked out the window. "Look, if he was a 'normal' guy," he said, using air quotes. "I would say just be straight up and ask if he feels the same way, but James is not like that. You two seem to have your..." Clint opened his eyes wide. "special bond."
"Quit it," I chided, glaring at him. "Ugh, what do I do?" I asked rhetorically, moving to lie next to Clint. We both stared at the ceiling in silence for a while. Despite saying I didn't know what to do, I already knew the best way to proceed. "I'm just going to keep quiet about the whole thing."
Turning his head, he raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure that's the best idea?" he questioned.
"For now, yes. I'm just going to ignore it. If something happens, I'll let it happen, but I doubt that'll happen," I scoffed. It wasn't even considering it a possibility. I wasn't a possibility in his book, as a love interest. I probably wasn't his type. He would've been more into people like Natasha.
"Ignore being in love with someone?" He chuckled. "Good luck with that one."
"You would know," I whispered slyly, referencing a particular redhead. I giggled as he pushed me right off the bed. I landed with a thwack and immediately found the nearest object to throw at him - a notebook. It cut him on the forehead.
"You started it!" I shouted, half laughing at the small amount of blood running down his cheek.
James POV
The creaking of the sofa was the only thing I heard as I sat down beside Christine Everhart. "Mr Barnes, it's an honour to have you on our show." She was full patronising smiles and a fake personality. I wondered whether she had any friends that weren't similar to herself.
"Please, call me James," I replied, smiling at her. This interview was all about appearances. I had to not terrify the hell out of every viewer watching. Smiles and politeness were important. I had seen Wanda's interview where she judged with her eyes and pressed questions Wanda didn't want pressing. I just had to push through and get to the end without punching someone, specifically her.
"So, James, I think we can all agree that there is much we need to know about your life, your story. Would you be able to tell us from the beginning about everything that's happened to you?"
I sighed. "Not an easy question," I replied, drawing a few chuckles from the audiences. I took a breath, looked at Natasha and then turned to the audience.
"Everyone knows most of what happened in the very beginning. Friends with Steve since I was a baby, grew up together, went to war together. He became Captain America whilst I was taken hostage by HYDRA."
"And what happened whilst you were there?" She prompted, leaning forward to place her forearms on her desk.
I tilted my head. "I can't remember much, just the faces of some of the people who experimented on me. I only really remember being electrocuted for most of that time."
I could almost feel the audience members tense. "And then Steve came in and saved me. I was very confused because it was Steve, but he wasn't the skinny, asthmatic guy I knew anymore. He was strong and it looked good on him."
"Did the two of you ever have a romantic or sexual relationship?" She asked, a bit too quickly.
A laugh escaped my lips and I shook my head. "No, not him. We were always just friends."
"Another guy then?" Wow, this interviewer was pushy. I can see why Wanda wasn't fond of her.
"Not that it's really the public's business, but yes. I'm bisexual." Before she could press any longer, I moved back to the topic we were discussing. "Anyway, Steve saved me and the other captives. We continued to fight together against HYDRA, taking down their bases with ease thanks to him. One of the final attacks we made went wrong. The doors of the train blew off."
My mind went back to it. The chilled air, the gloomy sky and the look on Steve's face. "I fell, nothing that Steve could do about it," I remember the look of shock and despair on his face, burned into my mind. I could only imagine how he felt after he thought he lost me.
"I didn't remember much of that time. I have faint memories of being dragged through the snow from where I fell and some electroshock therapy. Then I was frozen I think. Even I can't remember the exact timeline of what happened to me, just being frozen, unfrozen, sent for missions and then frozen again."
"So what were those missions exactly?" I gave a side-glance to Natasha because Everhart knew exactly what was going on.
"Assassinations, stealing things that HYDRA needed. Anything and everything that required above superhuman strength or stealth. Wanda Maximoff has been helping me find some of those memories, to try and really find out what happened. I don't really know specific details, it all merges into one."
"When did this come to an end?" she asked.
"When the battle in DC happened, I managed to break free from their control. The constant brainwashing was what kept me within HYDRA's grasp. After coming into contact with Steve and spending long enough away from HYDRA, my memories started coming back. I laid low, ended up in Lagos after two years of travelling. Romania, Germany, ended up in Bucharest. I was being tracked at the time for the bombing at Vienna International Centre in Austria. I went to collect my things and Steve was waiting for me."
I remembered that memory as clear as day.
"Do you know me?"
"You're Steve. I read about you in a museum."
"I know you're nervous and you have plenty of reason to be. But you're lying."
"I told him to the truth, that I wasn't in Vienna and that I didn't do that any more. He believed me, but we both knew everybody else didn't. Someone was using my face to commit crimes and frame me."
"So you had absolutely nothing to do with the bombing?"
"None." I turned to the audience and the camera. "And I just wanted to say that I'm sorry to the people who were injured or killed from that incident." I turned back to Everhart. "The Joint Counter-Terrorist Centre agents arrested me and I was taken to their building in Germany where I was contained." I shrugged. "Couldn't blame them at the time, thinking that I was dangerous."
"And do you think you're dangerous, Mr. Barnes?" She asked in a somewhat patronising tone.
"Anyone can be dangerous," I answered honestly, staring her straight in the eyes. She raised an eyebrow at my odd reply. "But not in the way you're talking about. HYDRA is gone, as far as we are aware, and we've managed to remove their programming in my brain. Even if they said the words that could change me, they wouldn't do anything."
I was lying, through my teeth. Wanda and I were on our way to getting rid of the programming, but we hadn't even started yet. Perhaps that was something we would be able to work on in Wakanda. If HYDRA was watching, I wanted them to know that the words no longer worked, even if it was a lie.
"At the time, the programming worked and someone who managed to reawaken the Soldier. He worked his way out of the base, but Steve managed to intercept him, knock him out. I was the one who woke up, clear head. I joined Steve and Sam fighting the others at the airport, then went to Siberia to stop a man named Helmut Zemo, someone who was trying to break apart the Avengers. After fighting him, he was captured by T'Challa. Steve went back to the Avengers and I went under the ice in Wakanda whilst T'Challa's younger sister, Shuri, fixed my brain."
"How did you end up back with the Avengers?"
"When the programming was gone, T'Challa got in contact with Steve and he suggested I come back with the Avengers for a bit. That's where I've been ever since."
Everhart nodded and turned to the audience. "We are now going to take a few questions from the audience." Hands immediately shot up at the chance. Natalia smiled at me out of the corner of my eye.
She pointed at one of the people with their hands raised. "Charles Davies, BBC. Are you planning on joining the Avengers, Mr. Barnes?"
"In the near future, I hope so. Obviously, I understand why some people may be opposed to that, considering my past, but I think what I do in the future is what's import-"
"Do you feel you would be welcome with them?"
Before I could answer, Natalia piped up. "He would be very welcome with us. He had the perfect skill set required for him to be an Avenger."
"But surely his past is something that should be considered with a grave decision like letting him join the team?"
"Firstly, that is for us to decide," she said with an authoritative tone that would make any man or woman fear for their life. "Secondly, I am part of the Avengers. The whole world knows my criminal record, how I worked against the country I now work for. Barnes is where I was many years ago, but only more than willing to join us in our fight."
I smiled at her. She really did stand up for me. I smirked as the BBC representative was left quiet in his seat. The next person was already selected for their question to be raised.
"Following on from what the gentleman before me said, if you did join the Avengers, how do you think they would benefit from your skills?" A woman asked from the front row.
"Because of my history with HYDRA, I have an understanding of how our enemies would function. Also, superhuman strength helps a little," I replied with a smirk. The audience chuckled at my answer. I inwardly smiled, happy that they were on my side, most of them anyway.
"Do you really think HYDRA is gone?"
"What torture did HYDRA implement on you?"
"Did you have any interaction with Agent Rumlow of HYDRA?"
So many HYDRA questions, some of which I couldn't answer because I didn't have the knowledge. One of the last questions was one of the more interesting.
"We know Steve Rogers found the adjustment to the modern world difficult. How was your transition?"
I smiled at the young gentleman who asked the question. "The transition for me was different than Rogers'. He woke up seventy years later, whereas, from the few times I remember, I woke up at random points since the 40s. I was slowly adapted to new things. The seventies was fun though, I remember going dancing during that period of time for a mission. The change in technology since that time has been spectacular. What Stark creates…" I shook my head. "I can't even begin to understand."
"Has he had any input on your arm at all? I can tell from previous photos that it's been modified." He had obviously done its research.
I looked down at the arm in question. "Stark did some modifications. He had fun tinkering in his lab, designing new features for it, but T'Challa did a lot of the work too." Couldn't let Stark take all the credit.
"And that is all that we have time for I'm afraid. I'm sure more questions will follow after this interview, so we would love to have you back in a few weeks," she suggested, smiling fakely at me.
I smiled back. "It would be a pleasure to return."
"Thank you for watching. I'm Christine Everhart, until next time," she said to the camera. Someone called 'CUT!'
Christine didn't even look at me, just immediately stood up and left. Well, what a delight. I turned to Natalia.
"So…what do I do now?"
She smirked at me. "You head to Wakanda."
Thank you for reading, sorry I never update, but my last deadlines are in for next Monday! Also, mum's tumour has just gotten bigger, so that's a greeeaaattt. This keeps me occupied though :) I hope everybody is doing okay! 3 Message me if you ever wanna talk about anything xx Also, absolutely dead after endgame. I'll give you my thoughts on it in the next chapter.
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