In which subtlety is not Merlin and Arthur's strong point.

"Right there," Merlin groaned, his nails digging into Arthur's shoulder. "Don't—don't you dare stop—"

Arthur kissed him to keep him quiet. "Going to have to gag you one of these days."

That was it. That did it, and Merlin spilled all over their stomachs.

"Oh my God."

Merlin propped himself up and Arthur looked over his shoulder.

Lancelot stood in the doorway of the council chamber, mouth hanging open, staring at them. "Th—that's the council table!" He whispered, mortified.

"Um, yes, yes it is," Merlin said weakly.

Lancelot flushed bright red and fled, slamming the door behind them.

He didn't look Merlin or Arthur in the eye for a week, and he only spoke to them in mumbles.

"You," Merlin declared, straddling Arthur and undoing his belt, "Are an insufferable clot pole."

"So you keep telling me," Arthur gasped, arching up into Merlin's touch.

They were in Merlin's old bedroom, which Gaius now used as a storeroom (although it still, for some inexplicable reason, had a bed). It was also, by coincidence, the room that held the medicine Percival used for headaches, which Gaius had told him to "just stroll in and take whenever you need, it's a simple mixture and I keep plenty on hand."

So it was that Percival entered the small room just in time to see Merlin bat Arthur's wandering hands away, pin them to the bed above Arthur's head and growl, "Don't even think about it. You can't touch until I say so."

Percival put years of fighting training to good practical use and backed away silently out the door.

"You," Arthur growled, "You with your fucking mouth…"

He thrust a little harder for emphasis, making Merlin moan and clench around him. "Not my fault you look—oh fuck—when you're sparring—"

"Excuse me," Sir Leon said.

Merlin and Arthur froze in shock as Leon reached around them and grabbed the crossbow that Merlin was inadvertently leaning on. "Thanks," Leon said, heading out the door. "Maybe not the armory next time?" He called over his shoulder.

Arthur and Merlin just gaped.

"This was such a bad idea," Merlin grit out.

"By that you mean it was a fantastic idea."

"You're not the one lying on these stones, they're cold."

Arthur paused. "Do you want to switch?"

"Oh for fuck's sake!"

They looked up and saw Gwaine standing there, looking torn between amusement and annoyance. "Unless you want to invite people to join in, I suggest you do this in a bed like normal people, not on the bloody battlements!"

Merlin poked Arthur in the chest. "I told you!"

"You did not!"

"Arthur Pendragon, I will—"

Gwaine just sighed and continued with his patrol.

Arthur was right at the point of bliss, his head tipped back against the wall and his eyes closed, when suddenly it all went away.

He cracked an eye open and looked down. "You better have a good reason for stopping."

Merlin looked remarkably composed for someone on their knees with an erection two inches from their face. "Do you ever get the feeling someone's watching you?"

Arthur looked up, and Merlin looked over his shoulder.

Elyan was standing there, eyes wide, the picture of complete and utter shock.

"Elyan!" Merlin said brightly. "Something you needed?"

Elyan continued to stare.

"Elyan," Arthur said. "You can run out of here screaming any time you feel like it."

Elyan continued to stare.

"Elyan," Arthur growled. "Get. Out."

Every one of Arthur's knights knew that tone. That was the who threatened Merlin tone, usually reserved for green knights freshly recruited who thought Merlin was someone to be belittled or made a joke of, and for bandits, evil kings and the like who tried to cause Merlin bodily harm.

That tone was so deeply ingrained in everyone as the ultimate danger signal that it managed to break through Elyan's shock. He turned around and bolted down the stairs without a word.

Arthur sighed. "Perhaps this wasn't the best of locations."

Merlin looked around, contemplating the fact that yes, they were in the middle of a hallway, then shrugged. "Well, since we're here, might as well finish what we started."

A few moments later, Arthur's shout echoed down the stairs.

"Do you think we should apologize?" Merlin suggested later that night.

"What for?" Arthur asked.

"We have managed to scar every single one of your knights," Merlin pointed out. "Except Leon. I don't think anything could scar him at this point, he's just become so numb to it."

"Don't be ridiculous, Merlin," Arthur replied. "I'm the prince, I can do what I like, who I like, and when I like."

Merlin shrugged. "All right. But you weren't the one who got a tongue-lashing from Gwen for scarring her brother for life."

"Maybe we could try and be more… prudent," Arthur acquiesced. "For their sakes."

Two days later, all five knights caught them going at it in Arthur's tournament tent.