24. Goodbye Caballeros
"Now if you'll just hold still for me …" Aerith concentrates, keeping her eyes closed. She can feel the glow of her magic starting like a tingle in her toes, except it's outside her body. She has tried explaining the sensation, but it's difficult. The air in front of her suddenly feels like it's a part of her, and if she links together the dust motes in it she can use them as a bridge for her magic to slip along –
"What're you – no!" A high-pitched voice rises in sudden terror. "No, stop!"
Aerith opens her eyes and gasps. She was trying to heal her patient's broken collarbone, knitting together the fragments the way she has many times before. The body could've done it alone eventually, she just speeded things along. The bulging shoulder she sees now shows that she has speeded it up too much.
"What did you -" the patient starts, and then screams as the bulge rips and a crooked twist of bone thrusts out through the torn flesh, still growing. It trails cords of sinew. Aerith can hear tendons snapping like string pulled too tight.
She wants to throw up.
Still the bone grows, wrenching the rest of the body sideways as its sudden weight drags the rest down. Almost at once the other shoulder also swells and a second horrific bone rips free. There's a tearing noise as kneecaps give way, shooting forward in impossible curls, and the forehead explodes into bloody ridges. Cheekbones, elbows, ribs, pelvis – they curl and jut and extend until the body is more streaky red bone than flesh and the pained groaning has stopped.
Aerith backs away, hands at her mouth. She hits something behind her and whirls to see what it is. Her relief is tempered by guilt and remorse.
"I-I didn't mean to … I didn't …"
"You didn't realise your own strength," Leon says, but his face is melting into Dr. Sweet's. "You were only supposed to heal one break. You weren't supposed to kill him."
"My magic … it got away from me -"
"Fat lot of good that does him." The figure is smaller now, petite and wearing a distinctive yellow scarf. Yuffie gestures at the body, and even as she does so her hips fan and her face changes, becoming Tifa's beautiful soft features. "Isn't this what you were scared would happen?" The voice is Tifa's, but the tone is sharp and accusing. "You think you're dangerous. You think you'll do more harm than good." She grips Aerith's head and turns her to stare at the body.
Aerith shuts her eyes, unable to look at it. She's frightened that she'll recognise the face. What if it has changed into someone she loves, too? What if it's Zack under all those bony growths, or Cloud, or Kairi? "What if I can't stop my powers anymore? What if I do too much and I hurt someone?" She can feel tears slipping from under her closed lids.
Tifa's hands release her head, but others take their place. Their touch is rough and calloused against her skin. "You can cope."
"Zack?" Aerith opens her eyes, but it's Cloud's face she sees.
"We trust you," he says, using Zack's voice, her two boys together and supporting her, just like always. Blue gives way to violet and Zack shoots her his special everything-will-turn-out-okay-in-the-wash grin. "Do you trust us?" he asks in Cloud's slightly higher voice.
"It's not me you're asking to trust, it's this world and what it might do to my magic if I use it again -"
"Do you trust us?" he asks again, more insistently.
She stares at him. "You know I do."
"Then trust us when we say you can do it." He wraps her in a sudden hug, wiping her tears on his shoulder. He's warm and smells like her whole life – soap and feathers and antiseptic and motor oil, burnt toast and dust and flowers, plus that prickly taste in the back of her mouth when she smiles …
Aerith tumbles back into her own head and sits up in bed, gasping.
The room is dark. It takes a moment for her eyes to adjust. When they do she instantly becomes aware of a warm weight next to her, huddled against her side. She looks down and is surprised to see Kairi. Her eyes are nearly luminous in the gloom, and for a moment Aerith could swear she sees something far too adult flicker behind them. Then it's gone and Kairi is patting her cheek with one fat little hand.
"You go sad," she says seriously. "Kiss."
Without really thinking about it, Aerith leans down for Kairi to plant a quick peck on her cheek. It happens all the time; Kairi is affectionate and loves giving hugs and kisses to anyone who'll have them. She's especially adept at finding the person in a room who's saddest and using her natural babyish charm to coax out a smile. So far only Leon's cheek (and thus his smile) has eluded her.
Kairi screws up her face. "Nasty – blech!"
There are salty tears on Aerith's cheeks. She wipes them away with the edge of the coverlet. "How did you get out of your crib?"
"Climbed," Kairi says proudly. "Good climber."
"You have to go back in."
"No, stay with Aeris." She always mispronounces the name. It's funny, as she doesn't have problems with all words containing a 'th' sound, but staunchly refuses to pronounce Aerith properly. "You sad. Kiss."
Aerith bends for another peck. Kairi takes the opportunity to enfold wrap her head and neck in an awkward hug.
"Stay."
Aerith knows she should insist, but Kairi is warm. The smell of her, redolent of shampoo and the barest hint of talcum powder, makes Aerith feel safe in ways she can't define. "All right." She pulls back the cover between her and Tifa for Kairi to climb in. "But this is a one-time thing."
Kairi snuggles down. She sleeps in a foetal position, head and knees curled towards her stomach, and nestles with her head pressed into Aerith's middle as Aerith lies on her side. One of Aerith's arms snakes protectively around the little girl, holding her close and feeling her breathing even out as she falls asleep.
Beyond Kairi, Aerith can see the rise and fall of Tifa's back. Tifa always sleeps facing away from the middle of the bed, though she's long since gotten used to platonically sharing it with Aerith. Aerith knows Yuffie is probably sprawled on the couch by now, snoring from whatever kept her out so late. The knowledge that she's out there is soothing; a part of the rhythm them fell into in Hollow Bastion that they've been able to bring with them.
"Bad dreams?"
Aerith is startled. She thought the Tifa was asleep. "Yes."
"Was it a Green Dream?"
Aerith thinks back and then stops herself. She wants the dreadful images to fade as quickly as possible. "No, just a normal nightmare."
"You get those?"
"You don't?"
Tifa rolls over. One side of her face is waffled from being pressed against the pillow. "What's up?" she whispers.
"Nothing."
"You don't get the kind of nightmares that make you cry in your sleep and then sit bolt upright over nothing."
"Just … thinking about my magic," Aerith admits sheepishly.
Tifa half-nods. "I thought so. You're worried."
"It is that obvious?"
"You flinch every time someone mentions it and go white whenever Zack and Cloud say they're going out to train with the Buster Sword. Plus you haven't used your powers in weeks."
"I …" Aerith can't think what to say. She's still tired and sleepy, but afterimages of her nightmare dance across the backs of her eyelids even when she blinks: the bulging shoulder, the pile of reddened bones, the feel of Zack-Cloud's arms around her … Well, okay, maybe that last part wasn't so bad. She'd like to hang onto that, but the rest makes her shiver. "I wish I could do more," she finally says, not sure whether she means more to get over her fears or more to help in other ways.
Tifa looks thoughtful. "You're not going to ask me to teach you how to fight again, are you?"
"You wouldn't agree."
"In the morning would you like to me go through those self-defence moves that I taught you?"
"Yes please." Maybe doing something physical will help ease the knot of tension that has taken up permanent residence in her tummy. Aerith also thinks she'll go down to her church tomorrow as well. Perhaps she'll take Kairi with her. Kairi likes playing hide and seek amongst the pews and is gentler than any regular toddler with the delicate flowers.
Aerith always feels calmed after a visit there. Nature is a third party in the vortex of human emotions and she can be sure nobody else will disturb them. Nobody seems to ever go there except her. She's drawn to the place, and not just because of the flowers. There are plenty of other flowers in Traverse Town – one of the major pluses it has over Hollow Bastion – but Aerith keeps gravitating back to the church. There's something there, something that beckons in the scorched brickwork and broken floorboards. Once or twice she has wondered what happened there to make it so dilapidated, but having answers and knowing other people have been there would spoil the illusion that it's her special, private place.
Tifa still looks thoughtful. "It'd be useful if we had more in our arsenal than just the Buster Sword and Yuffie's weapons. Maybe that would make you feel less antsy about Cloud and Zack throwing themselves into battle."
"We have Leon's gunblade."
"I guess, but that's … I don't know. I could … never mind."
"What?"
"Forget it. It was just an idea." She shakes her head and the lines on her forehead clear.
"What was?"
"It's not important. Listen, Aerith? Don't worry about your magic. Take all the time you need and speak to Merlin if you have to. He's a powerful wizard. Maybe he can give you some advice for how to cope with all this new energy you have." Tifa turns over to face the wall again. "There's no rush, and we're all here for you. We're a team now, remember? That means we can count on each other in a pinch."
Aerith stares at her back for a moment before settling down onto her own pillow. Kairi snuggles into her and Aerith breathes in the scent of her clean hair.
Not a team, she thinks drowsily, remembering Dr. Sweet's words. A family.
José and Panchito are finally leaving Traverse Town. Their original plan was to go the day after the party, but in the end they don't make tracks until over a month later. The weeks that make up the interim are mainly given over to helping clean up and make peace with those residents of the town who believe them responsible for the tragedy, and for helping the families of those who died. The group don't see much of the two birds in this time, but when word arrives that they plan to go in the morning, everyone is there at the edge of town as soon as the sun peeps over the horizon. Even Kairi is already awake and sitting on top of the covers, having once again climbed out of her crib, when Aerith opens her eyes. It's as if she, too, knows this is worth getting up for.
"We'll miss you."
José pokes Aerith in the stomach with the end of his umbrella. "Nenhum grito. No tears or needless unhappiness, menina bonita. We are not leaving forever. You will see us again."
"¿Por qué hace usted toda la mirada tan triste?" Panchito asks. At their blank looks he translates, "Why do you all wear such sad faces? We are embarking on a new stage of our lives. You should be happy for us."
"We are," Tifa replies as he enthusiastically pumps her arm up and down.
"Then show it. Smile. Show your teeth. Act happy." He grabs José and pulls him close for a mock-pose. "Commit us to memory as we are – vibrant and filled with the promise of bigger and better things. You are all too gloomy – except for you, little one." He breaks off to tickle Kairi into a giggle-fit. "You have the correct attitude. You should all copy her smile whenever you can. It will extend your lifespan and prevent wrinkles."
Aerith wonders whether Madame Medusa would like that beauty tip. She came into Dr. Sweet's surgery last week, having heard that Aerith is a Healer, and demanded that Aerith make her turkey neck disappear. When Aerith explained she couldn't do that because it wasn't technically an injury the woman took up her usual shriek, which summoned Dr. Sweet out of his office. After Aerith unfroze herself from the combination of Madame Medusa cuddling up to him and Dr. Sweet's scalded-cat expression, and the woman finally left, Aerith laughed and laughed until she felt like she might need stitches to sew herself back together.
The day is warm and the weather holds as Panchito climbs into their vehicle and starts it up. It's a kind of horseless carriage without wheels. Cid would probably know its proper name, but he isn't here. The blast from underneath kicks up dust and emits a sharp stench, like rotten eggs mixed with cigar smoke.
José lingers longer than his partner. Aerith is closest, and since Kairi has decided she wants to stand on her own next to Cloud Aerith's hands are free and José takes one. "Panchito is right, Aerith. You all need to smile more. There are reasons to be gloomy, but you have each other and you are all safe. This is enough, yes?"
"Oh José, I'm going to miss you."
"I will come back to visit once we are settled in Wander Harbour. It is only a few days away from here, and we will exchange stories and chitchat then, all right? We shall share some of your delightful butter-biscuits, which you shall of course bring with you; you shall compliment our new home; I will enquire as to what the Three Harpies have done to raise people's dander since our departure, and all shall be enjoyably gossipy, yes?"
His genteel kindness and mischievous eyes make her clasp his hand tight. Since the night of the party, when Panchito kissed him at Chicha's house, nobody has really talked about José himself. They've discussed the party and what happened there, and been over the upsurge in their powers, but the subject of José has been tucked out of the way and not touched upon in any great detail.
Apart from Yuffie, everyone grew up in Hollow Bastion, where boys married girls as soon as they were old enough and had bouncing babies nine months later. One boy for one girl, possibly through marriage interviews if normal routes reaped nothing. It was stuffy and sometimes businesslike, but it was the way things were. Marriage. Babies. Family life. Boys didn't go with boys, and girls didn't go with girls – not the way boys and girls went together. It just wasn't done, and even something as innocuous as too much physical contact was cause for ridicule until a comforting touch to the arm became a shoulder-punch to inject more masculinity into it. Likewise, girls who weren't married by childbearing age were an oddity. Aerith usually found herself on the end of disapproving stares because of her living arrangements – one of the few things about her home town she doesn't miss. The pettiness and closed-mindedness created a natural instinct in her to rebel against what Hollow Bastion thought of as normal, but this has clashed with some of the more deep-set conventions of her upbringing until this moment.
Even if he was human, Hollow Bastion would view José as an aberration. Yet he's not. He's still the José who was so nice to her and Cloud on their first morning in Traverse Town; who invited her out for tea and crumpets, and who showed her where to buy good quality fabric so she could make Kairi some new clothes. He hasn't become someone else just because she knows more about his personal life than before. That's reassuring in a way she can't really understand, and also makes her feel guilty for ever doubting him.
Evidently he understands her thoughts, or at least the parts that show in her face. He pats her elbow, feathers silky with the faintest hint of a prickle at the tips. "We do not fall in love with bodies, Aerith; we fall in love with people."
"What?"
"Never mind. Nenhum grito, remember? No tears or needless unhappiness."
José and Panchito leave amidst good feelings and warm wishes, the little knot of people watching until their vehicle is nearing the horizon. Traverse Town is like Hollow Bastion in that it's surrounded by harsh environment, but the bleakness is broken up by patches of green and the knowledge that no unusually bloodthirsty monsters lurk in it. Wildlife in this world is much more indifferent – some if it's dangerous, but if people don't bother them they're content to leave everyone alone. It's nice not to have to worry about a rouge chimera attacking José and Panchito, or Vetalas chasing them over the horizon, but Aerith still hasn't gotten over the little thrill of alarm that comes from looking out across a wasteland like this. Barren Region is a boogieman that will never completely go away.
"Bye-bye!" Kairi waves furiously. "Bye-bye! Bye-bye!"
"Do you think they'll be all right?" Tifa asks.
"Panchito spent a long time scoping out a safe place for them to go," Cloud replies. "Apparently it's a lot like their old world. I don't think he'd have come back to fetch José unless he was convinced they'd both be safe." A pensive expression circles his features like a dog herding unruly sheep into a pen.
"He cares about José a lot," Aerith agrees.
"Aw, sweet." Yuffie tips her head on one side and then spins on her heel. She marches back into town, arms swinging. "Right, now the mushy stuff's over, what are we having for dinner?"
"You really have to ask?" Tifa replies, taking slightly longer to break her gaze from the horizon.
"Not soy!"
"You know the alternative."
"But beans make me fart and there's nothing cute about farting in company. I'm kick-ass, not smelly or noisy-ass! C'mon, Teef, we gotta have something apart from beanfeast and soy."
"We have pumpkin."
"Oh, big whoop."
"Are you okay?" Zack draws close to Aerith, touching her elbow to let her know he's there.
She sighs. "I'm fine. I just don't like losing friends – for whatever reason. I know they'll come back, and we'll visit them in Wander Harbour, but it's not the same."
Zack nods.
"Bye-bye, José," Kairi enthuses, and turns her beaming smile on them. "Home now?"
Home. Traverse Town, not Hollow Bastion. Aerith takes a deep breath and pushes all her bad feelings aside. It's difficult to keep hold of them when Kairi smiles. Sometimes Aerith thinks Kairi must have magic in her smile – the power to wipe away the glooms like chalk off a board. "Yes. Home now."
"Cloud?" Zack pokes him in the ribs.
"Huh?" Cloud, a million miles away, startles. "What?"
"You do want to come home with us, right?" Zack asks teasingly. "Or are you happy trying out as Traverse Town's newest gargoyle. We can leave you here and your face can drive off intruders."
The insult takes a moment to register. "Hey!"
Zack laughs and dashes off a few steps, leaving Cloud to follow him. It's childish, but it's exactly what's needed to lighten the mood. Cloud had a face like the weight of the world is on his shoulders, but now he's back to his unpretentious smile. He has the capacity to look like all bucks stop with him and demand that he find a way to solve them, but smiles like he's a kid allowed to play in the dirt after a life of keeping clean. Trust Zack to be the cause for the switch.
Aerith watches them: her boys. She can't ever imagine one of them without the other, or herself without either of them. She will do whatever she can to keep them safe and in this happy little world they've made for themselves– even confront her fears about her magic.
"C'mon, Aerith!" Zack calls back. "Or do you want to be the gargoyle instead?"
"Slowpoke," Cloud adds.
"Be careful what you say to me," she warns. "I can do unspeakable things to your food." She grins at them both, takes up Kairi's hand and together they make their way home.
To Be Continued …