Okay, recently I've been writing really wordy chapters with very little dialogue. Obviously because one of my main characters is in a coma, but for this reason, it's harder for me to write. As some off you have pointed out in my past chapters, what the characters are thinking is not my strong-point, but lately, since there's not much dialogue and not much action, I've had to write a lot of that. So if it's shit, well, blame that.

Also, I was re-reading some of my early chapters, and wow did I get really serious really fast.

I own nothing.

Magnus was a realist. He always had been. He was an atheist. He hated fairytales. He never watched rom-coms because he hated the lies about love and perfection. But when he met Alec, everything changed. He believed in love and magic and soul mates and all that bullshit. He couldn't not believe in things like true love when the proof was in the bed next to him every other morning, kissing him awake, whispering words of eternal love.

For the first two weeks Alec was in the coma he maintained the childish hopes he had (ironically) lacked in his childhood and developed with Alec. He sat by Alec's bed day after day, talking to him, playing him songs, holding his hand, begging him to come back to him. It was taking its toll on him, and his mind, looking at Alec's blank face for hours on end. But he wasn't going to leave him. If-when Alec woke he would be there.

That was the thing. It had been two weeks, and although the doctors said it could still be fine, there was that hesitation. He wasn't thinking in 'when' any more, but 'if'. He wasn't supposed to think 'if'. Alec would wake up. He had to believe that. Because without Alec, he'd go back to that horrible love-less realist again. So he had to believe.

But he couldn't. He hated fairytales.

Magnus smiled tiredly at the nurse at the station whose name he should've remembered but didn't. Really, the woman had said good morning (or afternoon) to him every day for the past two weeks.

After missing 3 full days of school he got some very angry phone-calls and e-mails from the school board, sporting something about him still having to attend if he wanted to get into college. So, for the past week and a half he had forced himself to attend at least 3 out of 6 periods a day, skipping both periods of sport, as well as math and lunch. He never really participated in sport anyway, and who cared if he failed math. It wasn't going to help him at all in life.

He sat down by Alec's bedside and pulled out his American History homework. The words on the page seemed to blur together crudely, and he rubbed his eyes groggily. Every time he settled down to sleep his mind was plagues with horrible thoughts of Alec, shadowed with guilt and regret, the hopeful dreams not even visiting briefly. For a short while he decided to just not sleep for a while, but that started to take too much of a toll to be really effective. He started taking these pills that would give him 8 dreamless hours, but though he wasn't very tired, he never felt truly rested if he couldn't lie in bed with Alec.

And it seemed that someone did not want to leave him in peace, because the moment he learnt how to stop the dreams at night they began to enter his mind every time he closed his eyes, no matter what the time was. It meant for some rather embarrassing English classes. So he had decided to take the terrors at night in the privacy of his own home, where no one could see him, and no one cared if he broke down into a sobbing coward.

It was a Monday. The third Monday since the incident, the second Monday he had forced himself to attend school, the first Monday since he had begun to lose sight of all hope. The jumbling words on his page frustrated him to the point where he felt the need to slam the book closed and throw it across the room. It made a harsh crash against the wall, the only other sound in the room the steady bleeping of Alec's heart monitor.

"Fuck," he breathed out, running a hand through his gelled hair.

He stood silently and walked over to where his book lay open on the ground and bent down to pick it up. He returned to the chapter he had been working on and he returned to his chair and resumed his work languidly. He plugged his iPod into his ears and turned the volume up until the sounds of the heart monitor were impossible to hear over the sounds of Adam Lambert. He hated the sound of that insistent monitor. It beeped at a continual pace day after mother fucking day, and the sound grated his ears, it was just another thing that told him Alec wasn't getting any better.

He felt a soft touch on his shoulder, and assumed it was one of the doctors or nurses coming in to check on the boy. He looked slowly at the large pale hand shaking weakly at his shoulder. His hopes raced up to the roof and though he willed them not to raise, they refused to listen. He glanced quickly up at Alec's head, his pulse quickening and his mind racing.

For god knows how long, he saw nothing but an open pair of blue eyes.

Alec didn't know much when he woke up. He supposed was awake for a while before he could make himself open his eyes, the blinding light, from whatever light source was in the room, was shining bright enough that the backs of his eyelids turned bright pink, hurting his apparently sensitive eyes.

His head hurt, a dull pain throbbing from the back of his skull. He wanted to hold onto his head, he had seen people do it in movies and wondered if it might help, but his arms refused to move. His body felt like it was made of lead, his legs stiff as if he hadn't moved them in weeks, his arms heavy and tired, if it was possible for a muscle itself to feel tired. He didn't know where he was, why was he alone? Where was Magnus? That thought alone made his hands want to reach out and grasp, where was Magnus? He wanted to open his eyes, but his eyelids were being very uncooperative. He needed to look for Magnus. He needed him.

When his eyes still refused to open he used his other senses as dramatically as possible to ascertain where Magnus was. He could feel stiff sheets under his body, a thin blanket covering him up to his mid chest, and his head propped up very slightly by a flattened pillow. He could smell something very clean and sterile, antiseptic. He inwardly shuddered at the horrible smell. He hated the smell since he was a child. It had always made him feel horribly sick, and for that reason he hated hospitals with a passion. Wait, why would he be in a hospital?

He thought back to the last thing he remembered. He remembered being at the club. Magnus was performing that night and he went to support him. After that it was kind of a blur.

There was a loud crash and he again had the wish to raise his hands to his head, this time to block out the sound. There had been some incessant beeping in the background, but that had been the only sound, and consistent enough that he could block it out.

"Fuck."

Magnus. He could tell it from that one whispered word. His eyes flickered open for a short moment before flying closed again, the bright fluorescent lights causing black spots to form in front of his eyes. The light hurt his eyes and his already sore head. But Magnus was there. He needed to see him. It took a while but he gradually opened his eyes, squinting them in an attempt to make out some of the room regardless of the brightness.

The roof was white, a clean crisp white that shined with the artificial white light. So, definitely not his room. Or Magnus'. The room was still silent besides the soft beep, but he heard paper shuffling, was someone reading a book? He turned his head softly to the side, pain shooting through his skull at the slight movement. He cringed and whimpered slightly at the pain, but felt his heart soar in elation at the sight before him. Magnus sat in a stiff looking chair next to him, a text-book open on his lap, his white iPod headphones in his ears. Alec didn't think he had ever seen Magnus look so, well, the best word was drawn. There were huge bags under his eyes, his cheeks were sunken, and the small parts of his body on view were no longer simply slim, but so skinny Alec could make out almost every detail of his bone work.

"Magnus," he attempted to whisper futilely. His voice came out raspy and weak, barely audible to his own ears.

Magnus didn't even look over at him. He longed to touch the boy, ask him what was wrong, ask why he hadn't been eating. Was he not concerned with health anymore? He always condemned Alec for not eating. He smiled weakly at the memories of Magnus scolding his eating habits, those memories usually followed by very welcomed apologetic kisses and some make-up blowjobs and handjobs.

His right hand twitched slightly, and with enough concentration, he made his thin-looking hand clench and unclench. With a newfound sense of accomplishment he reached across the gap between him and his lover slowly, and placed his hand gingerly on the boy's shoulder, the only part of him he could reach. Magnus turned towards him, his eyes hopeful yet sad at the same time. Magnus' eyes met his and Alec felt his pulse rise slightly. Though his body felt weak, his mind immediately ran through a thousand reasons to why he might be in the hospital.

"Magnus? What happened to me?"

Magnus skittered back, falling out of the chair, his back against the wall by the door. His eyes were full of disbelief and fright, at the same time recognition and love shone bright through. Magnus turned to the door, and as the tall boy's hand found the metal doorknob Alec's pulse quickened in fear. Magnus obviously noticed the increased speed of beeping on the monitor and his hand froze halfway to the knob.

"Magnus. Please don't leave. Please."

Magnus walked closer to him, his eyes wary as he took the long strands to close the distance. When he stood at the end of Alec's bed the monitor's beeping slowed slightly, Alec's body relaxing with the close proximity. The irony struck him, when he met Magnus, even so much as being around the other boy quickened his pulse, now it was the only thing keeping him calm.

"Alec? Are you- this isn't a dream is it?"

The hope was blatant in Magnus voice, as well as the tear jerking voice crack of a thousand heartbreaks. His voice sounded not dissimilar to the night Alec had almost left him, and Alec longed to reach out and comfort the boy. He shook his head as much as he could in answer to the boy's question and Magnus stepped around the bed to be next to him.

"Don't worry baby." Magnus climbed up onto the bed and held Alec's body to his side. Alec relaxed fully into the taller boy, the familiar feeling of the boy's body (though thinner than usual) a comfort to him. "I won't leave you. I will never leave you."

My a/n is nothing but tell me what you think. This is not the end of the story, there's actually still a bit to go, so please review on how this went.

I promise, the next few chaps will not be as angsty.

Lots of Love,

Mae