Ok, so instead of actually writing a real chapter (because this isn't even a real fan fic, let us not even pretend that it is) you get the first draft and then the revised actual chapter since both cover my thoughts for today. Those consist of: voting, missing the award period and not voting for that, realizing that I've written nothing but laboratory reports, and thinking about Wicked instead of Harry Potter. I should write things…

Also, how did I miss the Third Annual Awards? Sorry guys, I do like voting in those. Interesting, YLYHTM! still in there kicking up some dust. YAY BESSA WRITERS! Look at you guys winning stuff and being fabulous. Good job. YAY EVERYONE ELSE! BELATED CONGRATULATIONS ALL AROUND!

25-Sassy Gay Friend

"OH MY WIZARD'S BAGGY LEFT TESTICLE, HOW DID YOU MISS IT!"

"Miss what?" I rubbed my backside and rolled my eyes. "The green terror that came flying through like a banshee in Seamus Finnegan's worst dreams?"

"NO! THE WICK-wait? What?"

"Obscure Harry Potter reference. Go on."

"The Third Annual Fan Fiction Awards!"

"WHAT! I missed it? It happened? How long have I not been on ?"

"Well, not that long. You've just been over with McGonagall and Ukitake every time you visited." Elphaba narrowed her eyes. "Speaking of, I'm lonely." She glanced at the door. "I would speak for Nessa and Boq, but they can't be lonely."

"Oh, curse upon my internet life lest I end it now with this keyboard!"

"What, what, what are you doing?"

"Fiyero, where did you even come from?"

Meet Nessarose Thropp from Wicked. She is waiting in the city to be hit by a house. This fate could have been avoided if she had a sassy gay friend.

"What are you doing? What-what-what are you doing?"

"Boq has run away from me and Elphaba left to find—"

"Boo hoo, Debbie Downer. The Wizard's fag hag has whipped up a storm and it's not going to rain men so we have to go!"

"But why would she do that? I've done everything the Wizard told me to do. She promised that Glinda would get married and that I could have Boq."

"I know that and you know that, but everyone else just thinks you're crazy so put on your shoes and walk your sparkly ass into a storm shelter."

"But Boq—"

"Boq, Boq, Boq! Nessa, he dated you to impress the dumb blonde."

"I guess he has been kind of mean and insincere."

"He keeps a diary of twenty-nine ways to kill you. Now, we gots to go!"

"Maybe I was a bit harsh."

"So we let ourselves get squashed by a house? No. Firstly, it's Boq we're talking about. Not Fiyero. Secondly, why are you still outside!"

"Ok, ok, let me get my shoes. I guess he is made of metal now."

"Speaking of, is he made of tin everywhere?"

"Ooohhh…"

"Ok, now I'm just being vulgar—"

"…Yeah, he is."

"What? Nessa, you're such a crazy bitch. She's a crazy bitch."