Chapter Twenty One: The Next Day

How could she have let herself sleep? She didn't even remember going to bed, the last thing she remembered was arguing with her. She knew without a doubt that if she went into the room past the gigantic bathroom, it would be empty. Possible no signs of being lived in for half a year. She was also sure that it would be the same deal with the closet. She wouldn't have been surprised if the mark over her heart had completely disappeared.

Selena sluggishly pulled herself from her bed and walked over to her mirror. She pulled down the neck of her shirt to uncover the mark. Instead of disappearing it had grown ugly and gross. It looked worse than when she had first gotten it, even worse than when it had been opened and expanded on when she had the accident with the tree. "Damn it Mary." She muttered under her breath.

Christianna came in all dressed and ready to go. "Oh. You're awake. Dad said you would probably stay in bed all day." She told her as she walked over to her backpack.

"He did? Why?" she asked.

"Because Mary left last night and that you would be upset. He figured it'd remind you of your mother and my own. Getting attached to somebody then having them disappear and all."

Selena hung her head sadly. "What did she tell dad when she left?"

"She said that… that her mother was sick and she had to go to take care of her." Christianna said. She herself was starting to feel sad herself.

Selena remembered when Wendy grew sick and how Christianna's mother came to help out. "She could makeup her own story? Had to steal one of our own?" she noticed Christianna's luggage and coat. "Where are you going? It's 8:30 on a Saturday?"

"Going to spend the weekend at Kailey's ranch and ride our horses." Kailey was the daughter of Wendy's sister Janet. Selena's step cousin and Christianna's full cousin.

"Oh, right. Have Fun" she said. "Be good to that horse. She did used to be mine after all."

"Don't Worry, I Will." Christianna forced a smile. "You Ok?"

"I'll be fine, because as usual I'm right. I was right from the beginning. Nothing but a disappointment." Selena said

"I wouldn't say that exactly. Remember who saved you those times" Christianna pointed out

"Let's remember who caused those times!" Selena reminded her. "You better get going ok kid?"

"Ok, Bye Selly."

"Later Chrissy."

Selena walked over and looked out the window. "Right from the get-go. I knew this would happen. It always does." Selena opened the window and climbed out on the fire escape landing. She sat on the window ledge watching the sun finish rising fully from the behind the buildings on the street. She felt a mini argument going on inside of her. Two sides of Selena were deciding what to do. One side was saying to rebuild the wall that had been knocked down to protect Selena from anymore pain, but the other side that also happened to be one affected by the 'cut' was telling her that everything will be ok and to not block the world out any longer.

Selena felt very confused on where she stood currently and what she should do now. On top of the battle going on inside, Selena could still 'feel' Mary, Perhaps more than she ever had before. At she could only assume it was Mary, the 'feeling' didn't make sense with what Mary had said or acted lately. What she expected and what she felt were two different things. What she expected was the 'prim' and 'proper' Marianna, most likely feeling good with herself as she always seemed, what she felt though was sadness, regret, pain. She never thought of Mary to be one to experience. Concern maybe, the occasional anxiety (you know, like when she had to rush to the park when Selena 'fell' out of the tree) but not Pain. Yet, there it was and she could tell it wasn't her own. After all these years she knew what her feelings felt like and these were not her own. Since she could only tap in to one person's feelings it could only be Mary's.

The Mixture of everything made Selena feel unstable. She didn't know what she wanted. She didn't want company or the pity of anybodies, yet she was angry that her father hadn't come to see her and at least let her know that he cares. She wanted to move on, but she wanted to stay in the past still. She wanted to talk to her again, but never wanted to see her again too. She wanted to go inside out of the morning chill, but wanted to stay outside where she felt that she could escape. The Only thing she was sure of was that she was unsure of everything. This didn't bring her any comfort in the slightest.

She stayed out there all day and well into the night. She would have stayed out there all night if Tabitha hadn't made her come inside before she froze to death. The next day she only left her room at dinner time.

Christianna hadn't returned yet so it was just Selena and Jeffrey.

"Selena…" he said to his spaced out daughter. "Are you ok?"

Selena didn't answer. Too late to play caring father now. You had all yesterday to try that.

"Selena, I know your taken aside right now by the subtly of Marianna's departure, but we all knew this would be temporary. She wasn't even supposed to be here as long as she was." He said to her.

Selena still didn't answer him.

He continued. "…She was to only stay for the time I was gone. That was three months ago"

"You've been back for three months? Funny, I didn't notice. I Think I've seen you a total of 5 times since then. Not counting the hospital time."

"That's not fair." He said defensively. "You know work has been overwhelming lately."

"What about Yesterday? You didn't work at all. I know, Louise told me. You didn't even check on me. I spent the whole day on the fire escape. I would have been there all night and froze to death it Tabitha hadn't come for me." She snapped. "Do you even realize that during the Christmas Holidays the anniversary of Mom's death passed and you didn't even notice?"

Jeffrey's face turned red as he realized that it was true. He had forgotten.

"Wendy's is two weeks from now? Did you even remember her? Christianna's mother? Your OTHER neglected daughter."

"HEY! I may be busy but I do not ignore you guys when it counts."

"Oh really?! Then how about this. I'll ask you 3 questions, try to get them right."

"Fine!"

"One, who is Christianna with right now?"

"Kathy."

"Two, What colour are my eyes?"

"Brown"

"Three, what is the play I'm doing at school and who do I play?"

"Uh…."

Selena raised an eyebrow. "Well?"

Jeffrey was silent. "Ok I don't know the one minor one."

"MINOR?! Do you not even realize the lengths I had to go through to get this part?"

"Ok. Ok. I'm sorry. But I got the two really important ones right!"

Selena sat back and turned away to hide the tears in her eyes. "If only…"

"Pardon?"

"If Only that were true."

"What do you mean?"

"Christianna is at Kailey's, you know. Your niece!"

"I said the wrong name! I was close. I got the major one right though!"

"Father Look at me. REALLY look at me." Jeffery looked at his daughter. He locked into her eyes. Her Green Eyes.

"Oh…"

That was all he said. As Selena left the table.

Selena went into Mary's old room. She had been right. No signs of being lived in. Except for a slightly opened dresser drawer. Selena looked at the room and then left it silently.

She for the first time in almost 7 years cried about her mother. She wished they never had left Number Seventeen Cherry-Tree Lane. She wished her mother had never left to get baking supplies that day. She wished they had stayed safe in their house.

After school rehearsals went awfully. Everything Selena did was wrong. She wasn't focused or even caring about anything to do with this. It was painful. Every second of it was unbearable. She was forced to play the one person who was causing her all of this pain. She couldn't take it.

"NO! Stop! What are you doing Selena?" Mrs. Beasley said frustrated from the stress of the nearing opening night. "You're supposed to be cheerful and happy. Not Depressed, it's gonna bring down the mood. After all this is supposed to be a 'jolly holiday' not a funeral!"

"I know, I'm trying."

"Are you? Because you've been saying this for a few hours now and I see no difference from here then when you first said it."

"It's not easy. Playing somebody that it turns out you don't know after all this time!"

"Pardon?"

Selena sighed. "What I mean is, if you could do a better job then do it! If not then don't lecture me!"

Everybody looked at her in amazement. Ms Beasley was taken aback. Selena had never been like this before. It wasn't pressure; Selena had done this a million times before and never felt it like this. Ms. Beasley luckily knew how Selena worked. Something was wrong. At this present moment though, she couldn't stop to help her. So she either had to get it together or go.

"I do not have the time for this Selena. What ever the trouble it'll have to wait. This is the priority right now."

"THIS?! This is the most important thing to you? To everyone here? Well that is just sad. There are things more important."

Ashley who had been waiting in the wings quickly ran out to get Selena before she cause trouble for herself. "Selena let it go." She whispered to her friend.

But Selena was far too gone to turn back now. "Why is this so important? What do we accomplish here? Huh? That were good at playing pretend? It's not even important enough to have my own father notice it at all. In fact it's not even important to me anymore. I don't care. I hate this play. I Especially HATE my character. She has ruined my life and left me here with all this trouble that I can't get rid of! She doesn't even care about the children. She only says that she does. I refuse to have anything else to do with her anymore."

Greggory looked at Ashley who looked at Selena. This was just so strange. This came out of nowhere. They had always been under the impression that Selena loved this. These words were definitely not her own. Greggory took her arm to try and pull her away from the scene so she could calm down. "Selena, c'mon lets get out of here." He said to her quietly as Ashley walked over to her as well about to help him take her away.

Selena flashed Greggory an awful look. One that could kill. Full of pure hatred and anger. She pulled away violently. "Don't Touch Me! Don't EVER touch me. As for you, I never want to see you again either. You do nothing but annoy me and try to make me angry. I won't have anymore of it! I will have my windows paved over with cement it I have to! Leave Me Alone Gruff."

"Selena…" Ashley whispered to her friend desperately. "We should go now."

"No WE shouldn't." Selena snapped. "You care about this. So you stay. I Don't So I will leave and NEVER come back!"

Selena stormed out of the theater overflowing with anger and hatred. Hate seemed to fit her like an old glove. Only it was worse than before. 60x worse than before Mary had ever come. Selena would from now on only look after herself and nobody else.

This was a change in Selena. One that wasn't for the best, but the only one she had.