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BEEP! BEEP! Rina's alarm blared loudly for the 10th time. She was hitting the Snooze button for the last 9 times, it was way too early for her to wake up.
"Hey Rina, it's time to get—AH!" Mika yelped as an object made contact with her face knocking her down. She lay at the entrance of the room twitching from the sudden contact. Tori walked by and looked at the twitchy girl.
"Mika, you okay?" Tori asked poking Mika with her light saber that Mika was wielding for a strange, strange reason. "Uhh…okay then, Rina get your ass outta bed!" Tori scolded her friend.
"Fine" She sighed and got up and nearly tripped over Mika's twitching body. "What happened to you? And why is my alarm clock in your face?" She asked clueless at her previous zombie-like actions.
"Funny you should mention that" Mika stated sarcastically as she chucked the alarm clock back into the room. "C'mon, we have 10 minutes before we need to leave" Mika said standing up.
Even though the sun had already risen and had illuminated the household, it still felt like nighttime to them. They decided that they would just appear a little later at 5 minutes max. It wasn't like they were going to get a huge lecture for being 5 minutes late. Besides, who'd want to wake up at 6 AM anyways? The whole mission would merely take an hour, 2 at the most so basically what was the rush?
"…5 minutes is up" Mika yawned.
"…10 more minutes please!" Tori pleaded.
"Sure thing" Rina agreed.
After their short-lived 10 minutes, they refused to leave. Their minds were screaming out "let's go!" while their bodies lay lifeless, resisting the urge to move to the door.
"Can we just say its Daylight Savings and show up at 7?" Rina asked.
"But won't they know that it's not Daylight Savings?" Tori questioned.
"That's where we say that all holidays and all those special days were switched" Rina told her. "Knowing them, at least half of them would believe us" She said.
"Alright then, from this moment forward, it's Daylight Savings!" Mika declared groggily. "Halloween's on Easter, Christmas is on New Year's, New Year's is on Halloween, Easter is on Christmas, Labor Day is gone, Mardi Gras is on Groundhog Day, Groundhog Day is on July 1st, Hanukkah is on March 14th, Saint Paddy's Day is on May 12th, and "Soul Society Day" is now officially on June 6th!" Mika said amazingly all in one breath.
"Sure let's go with that" Tori said before falling asleep once again.
7AM
"…You guys are an hour late…" Renji grumbled as he and the other captains were clearly ready to go.
"…What's your point?" Tori asked content since her energy was up to maximum.
"We forgot that it was daylight savings, and didn't change the time" Mika told them.
"…Daylight Savings isn't until a few months from now" Hitsugaya told her.
"No you see, all holidays and those special little days have been switched around" Mika explained. "Halloween's on Easter, Christmas is on New Year's, New Year's is on Halloween, Easter is on Christmas, Labor Day is gone, Mardi Gras is on Groundhog Day, Groundhog Day is on July 1st, Hanukkah is on March 14th, Saint Paddy's Day is on May 12th, and "Soul Society Day" is now officially on June 6th" Mika told them rushed.
"…eh?" The captains asked confused.
"Oh whatever! Let's go already!" Rina told them and literally kicked the captains into the gate thingamajiggy.
"Wow…doesn't look so different than the last time I was here…" Aizen commented on the desert.
"I don't see anything" Tousen spoke up.
"...Ichimaru, what the hell are you doing?" Hitsugaya asked Gin who was sitting on the sand making some sort of sculpture.
"Making a sandman" He answered.
"Aren't those monsters that attack you when you sleep or something?" Renji asked.
"No!" Gin said looking up at Renji. "This is a sandman, like a snowman but with sand" He explained.
"Exactly!" A tiny little voice squeaked out that came from the ground.
"Huh?" Everyone looked down at Gin's sandman who was alive.
"Oh my god, Renji was right!" Mika exclaimed as she jumped back to his side. "…That's not a good sign! Are you feeling okay?" She asked Renji as she pressed her palm onto his forehead.
"I'm perfectly fine!" He said and got Mika to remove her hand.
"You should name him Frosty" Tori told Gin. "…No wait, Sandy!"
"Uhh…how about Fred and let's go!" Rina decided as she clung to Byakuya's arm fearfully as the seemingly harmless sandman grew to a preposterous size.
"GIN THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS!!" Aizen yelled at Gin who was scratching his head in puzzlement. "THIS IS WHY I TELL YOU NOT TO MAKE THINGS!!" Aizen yelled as he dragged his stunned friend away from the sandman's fist.
"Oh look, he likes you Aizen-sama!" Gin pointed out to Aizen who couldn't care less for something so trivial. "See ya latta Fred!" Gin waved to the sandman who waved and seemed to be crying or something. Right after he had said his farewells to his buddy, he realized that there was a hat perched upright on the monster's head. "HEY WAIT A MINUTE!!" Gin yelled out.
"I AIN'T LISTENING TO YOU!" Aizen yelled out, after all if Gin hadn't started reliving his childhood, they wouldn't have to run away from a rampaging beast.
---
"Wow, we got here pretty fast" Renji said looking up at the building before him.
"Yeah…thanks to Gin's…creation!" Mika said as she panted heavily.
"Ok, Aizen you lead the way" Hitsugaya said once everyone pulled themselves together.
"Why me?" He asked.
"This isn't the time to be asking something so trivial right now" Byakuya said to him in a pretty dangerous sounding tone.
"Gin you lead the way" Aizen decided.
"…I dun wanna" He huffed out like he was suddenly a 5 year old being defiant to their parent.
"Tousen" Aizen called out getting impatient.
"I can't see" He informed him.
"Is that your excuse to everything?" Aizen asked.
"Hey, being blind has advantages!" Tousen told him.
"Alright fine…" Aizen sighed and led the way.
---
"Everything looks the same" Renji commented on the same old doors on the same old walls that made up the same old hallways. "How can you tell if you're going into circles?" He wondered.
"Here's your answer: You don't" Mika answered his question.
"Hey Starrk" Aizen stopped to talk to an Espada that looked as if he were ready for bed. That or he had just gotten out of bed. "Where is everyone?" Aizen asked. "I haven't seen anybody but you"
"Still sleeping, pigging out or I dunno" He yawned. "Oh look, you brought normal people this time" He said noticing the group that was with Aizen.
All the captains/ex-captains tried to stifle a laugh; however it didn't work out so well. Starrk looked confused, but then again it wasn't much different from his lazy, spaced-out look he always wore.
"Well, I guess I'll explain" Tori laughed innocently as the captains retreated to a corner to finish their laughing fit. "We're far from normal" She said and pointed to Rina and Mika. "We kinda drive people crazy; ask Flappy and Qui-Qui!" She told him.
"Oh right, you guys are the people that came and defeated Aizen, now I remember you guys!" He said remembering the not-so-long fight that wasn't so long ago.
"…Didn't we give you a name?" Mika asked.
"You probably did but I wasn't paying attention" He yawned.
"Oh whatever, you know where the Hougyoku is?" Rina asked him.
"Hmm…you guys gonna steal it?" He asked.
"Weeelll…something like that…" Mika started. "But we need it so we don't say sayonara forever" She finished.
"Ok, I get it…it's the 5th room on the left" He pointed down the hallway, and walked off most likely to go to bed or just do nothing.
"Hey are you guys done yet?" Tori called out to the giggling bunch that was occupying a corner.
"We'll be there!" They yelled out, trying to keep a straight face for more than 1 second.
"Ok, first task, an arrow pad" Mika said clapping her hands together ready to open up the first door to get the Hougyoku. The arrow pad was basically 4 buttons with arrow signs on them.
"Ok so what's the combination?" Renji asked.
"…"
"Don't tell me you forgot!" Gin yelled out fearfully.
"…Yeah…about that…" Mika laughed nervously.
"Hmm…" Tori started to think.
"Oh wait!" Rina called out suddenly.
"You remembered!?" Byakuya asked.
"Up, down, down, right, left, up, left, right, down, left, left, and right!" She muttered as she punched in the combination. They had expected the door to open to their glory however that wasn't the case.
"…How come the door's not opening?" Tousen asked not hearing some huge sound that would come from a door that was either closing or opening.
"Cuz that's not what I was going for!" Rina told them. "I can't think without a latte!" She told them as a compartment in the wall opened up revealing a latte. "Hmm…" She started to think once she took a sip. "I got nothing"
"Oh wait!" Mika punched in a combination.
[Access denied]
Suddenly the floor started to shake violently, the lights flickered on and off repeatedly all they could hear was a low rumbling noise that was getting louder and louder. The shaking became so violent that the ceilings seemed to almost give away at any moment. The shinigami looked at each other in confusion, wondering what was going on. Suddenly they heard a creak and something made contact with the floor. The rumbling grew louder and louder; they saw something approach them at the end of the hallway. It was small, but it grew fast!
"OH you are kidding me!" Mika exclaimed seeing a large boulder come rolling straight in their path. "That's weak!" Mika yelled out thinking that there would be better traps.
"Not the time Mika, it's time to RUN!!" Renji shouted as he dragged her and joined in with the rest of the group that was running for their life. They made a quick turn around the corner, getting out of the boulder's path. However 10 unlucky arrancar were roaming about in the hallway, they didn't notice it until it was too late. The boulder just rammed right through them and kept rolling until it hit the wall.
"STRIKE!!" Gin yelled out as he saw the flattened arrancar.
"ALRIGHT!! LET'S DO THAT AGAIN!!" Mika cheered and got up ready to punch something else in.
"OHHHH NO YOU DON'T!" Renji yelled at her and held her back from getting any closer to the pad.
"Here I'll put something in this time" Tori decided and punched something in.
[Access denied]
"Oh well" Tori shrugged as spikes appeared on the ceilings.
"Umm…" Everyone whimpered and huddled close together. The spikes then fell and would impale anything or anyone underneath.
"…Are we dead?" Hitsugaya asked as he raised an eyelid, scanning his surroundings.
"If you're dead then so are we" Byakuya spoke up.
"…How come we're alive?" Aizen asked wondering.
"The spikes should've got us…" Tori said looking up.
"You guys owe us big time"
"Don't think we'd help you guys again"
"How pathetic"
3 masculine voices spoke out suddenly, in the tone of superiority.
"Aww…how cute…a family reunion!" Renji said in a mocking tone towards the 3 ex-captains.
"Shut it Abarai!" Aizen snapped at him.
"What's so wrong seeing your Espada children?" Tori asked innocently.
"…Makes me wonder who the mommy is" Hitsugaya muttered. "…EW WHY DID I SAY THAT?" He scolded himself right as he said it.
"Grimmjow, Ulquiorra, Nnoitra…nice to see you again…" Aizen muttered.
"…It's nice to see you too old man!" Grimmjow said and slapped him in the back…a little too hard. Aizen fell to the ground in a crater from the sudden slap. "…Whoops…" Aizen got up, dusted himself off and acted as if that hadn't happened.
"Geez…I can't believe we actually saw you as a leader" Noitora said in disgust. "You sure have gotten weak"
"Well excuse us! You really can't do anything once you're in rehab ya know!" Gin told him.
"Ulquiorra, you gonna say something?" Grimmjow asked his brother.
"…You've aged" Ulquiorra commented on the 3 former leaders. Their jaws dropped down in surprise, they immediately went into the fetal position and started sulking in a corner under their cloud of gloom.
"…What a man…" Mika shook her head.
"Alright, back to this stupid door" Renji grumbled and punched in random arrow signs.
[Access verified]
"…Whoa…what did I do?" Renji asked feeling quite superior.
"Voice activated password…" Rina sighed when the first door slid open to reveal another door.
"This is gonna take a while" Mika sighed as well.
"What's wrong with Aizen?" Grimmjow asked poking his 'father'.
"Aizen's a girl" Hitsugaya said.
[Password accepted]
"The hell--?!" Everyone gaped as the door slid open revealing another door.
"How many doors are there?" Byakuya asked them curiously.
"One more after this…the rest are all passwords" Rina told him.
"Nice going Shiro-chan!" Tori congratulated her captain.
"Hmph, it was nothing" He replied feeling very triumphant.
"Oh wait…I know this one, I set this one myself!" Mika shouted out happily. She took a deep breath and shouted as loud as she could. "RENJISANIDIOTANDAMORONANDAPIGANDHISMOMSTILLDRESSESHIM!!" Mika shouted out.
[Password accepted]
"MIKA!" Renji yelled out ready to explode.
"Hey nobody would've gotten that one!" Mika retorted.
"True…but couldn't it have been something else?" He whined.
"No"
"I'm hungry…" Gin whined, but then again it was nearing noon so no one could really blame him.
"Whaddya want for lunch then?" Hitsugaya asked.
"How bout Greek food?" He suggested.
"Oh I love Greek food!" Aizen exclaimed suddenly which startled most of them. "Is it Italian?" He then asked.
"Aizen, Greek food" Hitsugaya told him in a slower tone.
"I know, but is it Italian?" He asked.
"GREEK... food..." He repeated even slower than the previous ones.
"But is it ITALIAN?"
"GR-EE-K...food"
"Is it I-TA-LI-AN?"
"Taco" Tousen said quietly.
"Oh Greek food!" Aizen exclaimed suddenly realizing what he was saying.
"This is the evil mastermind that was gonna destroy us all…wow…" Tori exclaimed sarcastically.
"TACO!" Tousen yelled out.
[Password accepted]
"OH YEAH! What'd I win?" He asked excitedly.
Everyone stared at him incredulously from his sudden outburst. He was not himself at all. Byakuya walked over to him and asked. "Who are you and what did you do with the real Tousen?" Tousen stared at him blankly…wait he's blind…whatever he just stared at him (try to envision that).
"It's me, Tousen Kaname, former Kyubantai taichou" He said. "But what'd I win?" He asked again.
"Pride" Byakuya told him.
"What? Oh that sucks!" He sighed.
They looked onward towards the dark room where the Hougyoku rested. The tiny little orb seemed as if it were emitting a holy light since it stood out from the dark room. It was really hard to believe something so tiny could be so dangerous.
"Haha fear me!" A tiny high-pitched voice squeaked.
"Huh?" Everyone looked around for the source of the voice.
"I, the great Hougyoku will destroy all of you hahahahaha!!" The voice squeaked.
"Hougyoku? Is that you?" Mika asked and stared at the little orb.
"Yes!" 'Hougyoku' replied.
"It's alive?" Aizen asked. "I always thought it was inanimate"
"That's cuz you were always an evil bastard that didn't care for others!" It squeaked quite angrily.
"Wait a minute…" Aizen grew suspicious of the talking orb. His hand suddenly shot out and grabbed Grimmjow's wrist. "What's with the sock puppet Grimmjow?" He asked the Espada that had a sock puppet on his hand, the one which Aizen was gripping onto.
"You're hurting me" He (the sock puppet) wailed and faked dead.
"Quit fooling around" Aizen hissed and let go of Grimmjow's wrist. "Come on, just take the stupid thing and let's go" He decided.
"So…how are you gonna destroy it?" Urahara asked Mayuri clueless. Even though he had created the Hougyoku, he couldn't find a way to destroy it, not then and not even now.
"This will take a while…" He sighed not expecting so tedious right after he got out of the hospital.
"Oh that's easy! Even every moron would know what to do!" Tori exclaimed suddenly as she had popped up out of nowhere.
"Would you quit doing that?" Urahara asked with a hand clutched at where his heart was located.
"HYAAAA!!" Tori shouted out as she slammed a sledgehammer down onto the Hougyoku.
"NOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Both Urahara and Mayuri shrieked. Fearing what the outcome would be, they ran out of the division and ran to Rukongai as fast as they could.
"What's their problem?" Tori wondered as she lifted the sledgehammer off of what used to be the Hougyoku that now lay in pieces.
"Nothing happened?" Urahara asked after he and the captain had waited 5 minutes out in Rukongai, half-expecting a huge explosion. "Maybe we were wrong" He said, and the 2 decided to head back. "Tori…did anything happen to the Hougyoku after you smashed it?" Urahara asked her once he had returned.
"Nope!" She said innocently and ran off.
"Well if nothing happened I guess it's safe to go back in" Kurotsuchi said with a sigh of relief.
KABOOM!
Right as Urahara and Kurotsuchi stepped a foot into the division, the whole entire division blew up from the Hougyoku's reaction. Fragments of rubble started flying all over the skies; people had mistaken them for shooting stars even though it was plain day. Luckily, almost nobody was around the division at the time, so nobody was severely hurt. Oh and Urahara and Mayuri weren't hurt either, they were just surprised and covered in dust.
---
"Ken-chan! Look, a shooting star!" Yachiru exclaimed pointing at the rubble that was flying through the sky.
"Make a wish Rukia" Ichigo said as he and Rukia were on the rooftops clearly slacking off from their work.
"Wow, you don't see that everyday" Byakuya commented as he looked out the window.
"I just hope none of them hit us" Rina remarked on the display of flying objects.
"UFO!!!" Sentarou yelled as Kiyone started taking pictures of it for every second.
"I can see perfectly!" Ukitake yelled out, tired from the constant yelling that was going on. "…Where did they go?" He asked once he realized that he was yelling to no one.
"We come in peace!!" He could hear Kiyone's and Sentarou's shouts of peacemaking from the outside. He sighed and locked all the doors and windows so he would be able to actually get some quiet time. "TAICHOU!!" Both 3rd seaters yelled out and banged on the doors as they wanted entry, Ukitake just ignored them.