Chapter 24, Your Biggest Fan

Nick let the screams wash over him and pull him under. The anticipation to the song he'd just announced was dripping down the walls in thick bursts. Waves of excitement were slowly creeping up his skin and rippled through his mind. The sound of his fans had become a soothing symphony over the years, something that made him realize he had everything he could ever possibly wish for. Your life being a constant performance could get tough here and there, and in the past he would have freaked out and clutched onto reality with a grip strong enough to snap someone's neck. Not now though; reality was firm by his side, surreality spreading out in front of him. Today in the form of this crowd. Since he was in L.A. for the whole summer anyway, he'd promised his fans a concert. Plus, he had been hoping it could get his mind off of things going on in his "reality" at the moment. In other words, Claire. Her name brought with it a surge of expectations for the night. He knew it had been stupid of him to ask her to the concert – since he purposely had planned the concert in the first place to forget about her – but there was no going back now. The show was coming to an end, and up to now he had managed pretty well in keeping his focus on the crowd. But now that his blood was pumping and his heart was beating at an abnormal rate, his consciousness skipped to the thing that had been lingering at the edges of his mind for the past week. His eyes searched the front rows of the crowd – the back was unable to see because of the lights shining down on him – and swept across the faces. She was definitely up front, he'd made sure of that. A second later, her face came into his view. Her eyes were closed, expression serene. She blended in perfectly with all the other fans, while at the same time she was unable to get past. It was like the moon among stars. It was unbelievable how a year ago, he wouldn't have noticed her in the crowd, and now he couldn't not notice her.

He quickly looked away when he realized he was staring.

Nick turned around, his back to the fans, and shook his head to get back into the vibe of the song. He didn't know how it had happened – falling for Claire – but it had happened anyway. Without a warning, and without a second chance he'd gotten caught up in her presence. It was unlike anything he'd ever felt. The instinct of taking care of her freely took over whenever she was near, and there was absolutely no fighting it. The pain in her eyes when she spoke of her father made it hard for him not to cross the distance and hold her tight. It felt so natural when they were together, like they'd met years ago instead of months. Nick had been firmly resisting the gravitational pull towards her, but it was getting more difficult with every day. There was no doubt tonight though, not a cloud in the sky, his intentions set in place.

And in that second everything became clear.

The screams rose to an indefinite ear-piercing level as Nick introduced one of many fans' favorite songs: Stay. The lights went down and faded to a vague blue, casting a ghostly, almost alienating, shadow across everyone's faces. Claire was the only one who didn't scream. She was here for the music, and she felt like it was disrespectful to make it inaudible. She closed her eyes to shut the drumming noise of all the squeaking girls in the crowd out, and opened them again when the first notes were played. Nick had turned around, his back to the fans, completely emerging in his own music. The screams were still at a top level, his back causing enough commotion to shake the place. The band played the intro until Nick turned back around, his expression serious and focused. He stepped forward, gliding towards the microphone, and sang the first words; clear, bright and beautiful:

'Hard to believe, where we are know. Your hand in mine, babe, feels right somehow.'

The blue light created a mysterious facade, the rest of his body plunged into a complete shadow.

He held one hand on the microphone and the other on the microphone stand. Claire swallowed back a lump in her throat. He was perfect.

'The night is so still, so don't make a sound. It's almost perfect, baby, so promise you'll never look down.'

He slowly moved his hands around the microphone and closed his eyes. Claire could have sworn every girl's heart just melted that instant.

'We've had our past, I know. Lets leave that behind. None of it lasts, oh no, all that we have is tonight.'

Then he gripped the microphone stand tightly, his eyes still closed, and kicked into chorus.

''Cause you're not the only one who's ever felt this way. Don't let the world cave in. Just tell me that you'll stay.'

He began to sway around, his arms slightly outstretched. It sounded like he meant every single word he sang, pulling out memories from the bottom of his heart.

'Now that the pain is done, no need to be afraid. We don't have time to waste. Just tell me that you'll stay. Oooohooohooh.'

His eyes were still closed, perhaps imagining something or someone, forgetting about the girls in the audience screaming his name at the top of their lungs. The band continued the music, waiting for Nick's sign. He opened his eyes and forcefully took off his cardigan; causing a flourish of squeaks and supposed comments. Then he squinted up into the spotlight, and started singing again.

'Beautiful, one of a kind. You're something special, baby. And you don't even realize, that you're my hearts desire. All that I needed and more. I know you're scared, but I'll promise that I'm not who I was before.'

His always-present intensity was clearer than ever, graspable, and almost withing reach.

After the second chorus, he gave the band time to play and slowly moved to the music. Then he took the microphone, threw the microphone stand away, and started singing again in a rough voice. He pulled on his white v-neck shirt, exposing some of his chest, and a wave of rising shrieks. He dropped to his knees, singing like there was no tomorrow, and pounded the floor with his fist. He carelessly held one hight note as the lights reflected in his teary eyes.

The band played out the song, giving him time to get back up and cool down. He looked out at the crowd with gratitude in his eyes, his stance firm.

That was when Claire started to scream along with the others in the crowd, louder than the rest. A girl next to her dramatically stared at her with annoyance, but Claire didn't care. She wanted Nick to notice her, to recognize her. She wanted him to look at her, smile, wink, make others jealous.

But that was too much to ask.

Nick thanked the crowd multiple times and went off stage, leaving Claire with a racing heart and a sore throat.

There was a man waiting for Claire at the entrance, just like Nick had said.

'You must be Claire.' She nodded.

Claire followed him to the very back, through a large black door, where she was led across a bright hallway filled with doors. After taking a quick right and then a left, the man pointed politely at the third door to the left saying "Nick Jonas".

'Here's your destination, lady,' the man said with a big smirk. Claire smiled at him, wondering if she was missing some sort of inside joke, and hesitantly opened the door. Nick was sitting on a bed, patting his face with a white towel . He looked up when she closed the door and a bright smile flashed across his face.

Claire lifted one hand and mouthed a shy "hi".

For some reason, she was feeling extremely uncomfortable. Maybe it was the unknown setting. Maybe it was the fact that she felt more like a fan girl than she'd felt in a long time around Nick. She was Claire Porter, the fan with a meet & greet, and he was Nick Jonas, the boy to which the closest she'd ever been was a poster hanging in her room.

Nick stood up, threw the towel on the bed, and took a gulp out of the water bottle on the table.

'Did you have fun?' was the first thing he asked. He moved his hand through his wet hair, curls being pushed back and then flopping back. One curl stuck to his sweaty forehead.

'You were amazing,' Claire said without a thought, quickly adding, 'I mean, I had a lot of fun.' She looked around, feeling out of place. The lasting silence was awkward. When she focused back on Nick, he had his eyes on her, a smile tugging on his lips.

'I'm glad you came,' he said. 'It means a lot.'

Claire shrugged indifferently. She was still a little tense, but something in his eyes made her shoulders relax. She stepped forward, past Nick, and thoughtlessly ran her fingers across the surface of the table. The wall behind the table had a mirror and in the reflection she could see Nick's eyes tracing her fingers' path before flickering up at her face again. She turned around, now close enough to see the drops of water at the curve of his jaw, the muscles in his neck, the moisture trickling down his white v-neck shirt to his chest. Her nostrils flared and a faint smell of anxious sweat mixed with dry deodorant crept up her nose. She had to control herself from burying her face into his skin and stay there until she was used to the odor.

Instead, Claire blurted out, 'I'm your biggest fan, you know.' It came out of nowhere, and she was utterly surprised by it herself. She searched his eyes for some sort of rejection, but he gave her a smile from ear to ear.

'I know.' It was as simple as that. He knew. In an instant, all Claire's fears of acting like a crazed fan girl had been wiped off the surface of the earth. Just like that.

Nick casually glanced down at her outfit. She'd dressed classy for the night: black jacket, white top, black skirt with big white dots, black and white patterned legging, and black Birkenstocks. Kaylee had sacrificed an entire day to help her pick it out.

'You look gorgeous,' Nick said in a rough voice, his eyes sparkling.

Claire turned flaming red, and managed to stutter out a low "thanks".

Out of nowhere, a faint, buzzing noise started echoing through the hallway. It took Claire a while to understand: the sound of a hundred screaming, impatient fans outside. It took them both out of their trance, their heads turning towards where it was seemingly coming from. When Claire looked back up at Nick, her eyes reflected panic. Almost unnoticeable, he slipped his hand around hers, gently holding on with loose fingers.

'Wanna get out of here?,' he said in an anxious tone. 'I know a place where stars shine brightest.'