An Introduction to Swirl and Daisy: The Non-Romantic Romance

Betas: xsecretxkeeperx, elizabethan

Pre-Reader: Squalloogal

A/N: This chapter was dedicated to Squalloogal and gkkstitch when it was originally posted on 3/21/12.

Chapter 25: The First Time He Staged an Intervention

. . .

Freedom. That's what I felt as I stuck my head out the window of Edward's Volvo and let out a gleeful scream. We'd had our first "real" date without parental supervision and it was as if a whole new world had opened up to us. Port Angeles? That was the city of endless possibilities and this car was our portal.

After celebrating Edward's sixteenth birthday in Florida, we came back to this huge bundle of independence waiting in his driveway, the exact make and model he had asked his parents for. I'd wondered initially what kind of teenage boy—who could have any car he wanted—asked for a Volvo, but the more I rode in this car, the more I understood. A Volvo was the perfect blend of chocolate and vanilla. Just like my Swirl.

My head swiveled back into the car, and Edward smiled goofily in the dim light. "This is so much freaking fun! Why do they make us wait until sixteen to have a driver's license?" I asked.

"Brain and auto safety experts agree that sixteen is when the mind developmentally matures enough to handle the responsibility of driving on one's own. Even then there is still some debate."

Because my adoration swelled with his Edward-typical answer, I leaned over and planted a kiss on his cheek. He paused only momentarily before saying, "The aforementioned debate is about whether sixteen-year-olds can handle the pressures of driving." He reached over and grabbed my hand. "Or whether they can keep their hormones in check long enough to not crash the vehicle."

"And are you feeling particularly hormone-ius tonight?"

The tip of Edward's tongue flicked out to wet his lips and a small chill went down my right ankle. It was a weird place for a chill, but whatever. "I'm ninety-seven percent positive 'hormone-ius' isn't a word. Unless you mean harmonious, defined as peaceful and mellow. At which point, yes, because I'm with you."

He knew that wasn't what I meant, but did I dare go there? "Are you feeling horny?" Yes, I certainly did.

"Bella!"

"Sorry." I giggled. "I feel so alive tonight! So freaking buzzed on life and liberty!" It was an aliveness that hadn't quite left me since the night I snuck into his bedroom window. The rebellion was still there, too.

"I can see that. I like it," he said and squeezed my hand.

"Okay, truth or dare?"

"Truth, only because I'm driving. I can be quite the daring renegade when I'm not behind the wheel of a car."

"Prove it now. Truth: Are you horny?"

The proper gentleman in him warred with the daring renegade. I almost applauded when the latter won. "Fine. Yes, by and large I am always horny. I'm a teenage boy after all, and I have you as a girlfriend. It's an almost lethal combination."

I settled back in my seat with the smuggest grin on my face. I made my boyfriend horny. How awesome was that?

"My turn. Truth or dare?"

There wasn't the slightest hesitation. "Dare." I was a rebel after all.

"I was hoping you'd say that. I'll save it for the next stop on our agenda."

"We aren't going home, yet?"

"The night is young, m'dear," he said in a faux British accent. I practically vibrated with excitement. So far on our date, we'd eaten dinner at a fancy restaurant and watched the sunset off the pier in Port Angeles. We were now winding the streets back to Forks, the purr of the car's engine energizing us like a live wire.

When Esme and Carlisle had presented the freshly licensed Edward with his Volvo yesterday, he hadn't waited two minutes before naming it Bellewyn Riel, after his RPG character's girlfriend. Aside from its preposterous term of endearment, I could tell Edward adored this car. He couldn't have gotten a better birthday present.

My own sweet sixteen was around the corner, but Charlie had made it clear that I couldn't get my license until December 13th, a full three months after, as punishment for my little nighttime excursion to Edward's bedroom in June. Renee had fought him tooth and nail to retract what she considered an unjust punishment for simply "following my heart and intuition." She'd gone as far as trying to manipulate the state of Florida into giving me a license a few months early, but the law was the law, and I probably deserved the punishment anyway.

I loved and missed my mom so much, even if she was kind of clueless when it came to the authoritative part of being a mother.

"I'm sorry you and Edward have to sleep in separate rooms," she had said as I'd gotten settled in her upstairs guest bedroom. "It was one of Mrs. Cullen's stipulations to Edward coming to stay for a month."

"Oh, you talked to Esme?" I'd asked. "Isn't she great?"

"She seems like a nice, friendly lady." She had lowered her voice conspiratorially. "Though, a little uptight."

I hadn't had the heart to tell Renee that her definition of "uptight" was most people's definition of "good parenting."

"What are you thinking about?" asked Edward.

"My mom. Florida. I can't believe we've already been back a week."

"I can't believe school starts on Monday."

"Wait, was that a groan?" I grinned. "Last time I checked, you love school."

"After the summer we just had, I never want to go back to that place again. I want to live on the beach and drink strawberry-mango virgin daiquiris twice a day as we soak up the sun."

I couldn't have agreed more. The state of Florida was wonderful, but the true beauty of a trip to the Sunshine State with Edward was getting to see him in a swimsuit almost everyday.

"I've got to give you credit. You done good," Renee had said as we sat on the beach under the shade of a massive umbrella and watched Phil toss Edward a baseball. "Edward is definitely a looker and he's such a sweet, respectful boy."

Yep. He certainly was fine. And geez, that chest… those muscles… his legs… "I can't believe I got so lucky."

"You're not the only one. The way Edward looks at you, it's like something out of a romance novel."

My first instinct had been to deflect her remark, but Renee had a way of seeing things no one else could. She was an author after all. "You think so?"

"Yeah, girl! The boy can't keep his eyes off you. He looks over here every ten seconds. See?" Sure enough, his eyes had darted in our direction. I'd flustered under his gaze and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. "He is so far gone in love with you."

"But not more than I love him. There seems to be a few dissenting opinions on that matter."

"From who?"

"You mean besides Edward? There's his best friend Jasper who gave me the third degree a few months ago. Apparently my monumental love and affection is not obvious to the rest of the world."

"Well, I know that you love Edward every bit as much as he loves you," she had said, and looked off into the ocean knowingly. "But a woman's love is like water. Water is constant and there's so much of it that people easily take it for granted. When a man loves a woman the way Edward loves you, it is as powerful and blinding as the sun, and there's only one of those."

I had considered what she'd said before bursting into a fit of giggles. "Mom, that is a horrible analogy. Please tell me you didn't write that in one of your books!"

She'd playfully jabbed me with her elbow. "Shut up! It wasn't that bad!"

"What's so funny?" Phil had said, plopping on the sand in front of my mom's legs and grabbing a beer from the cooler. Edward had gone a ways down the beach, inspecting seashells.

"Bella was telling me what a horrible writer I am," Renee had said, tugging at the bill of his backwards baseball cap.

"And don't I know it," he'd grumbled.

"He's bitter because I force him to listen to my new scenes every night before we go to bed."

"It's torturous." He'd made a face in my direction. "Well, except for the sex scenes—" Renee had clamped a hand over his mouth, but the damage was already done. I'd gagged on my tongue. That was one insight I did not need into my mom's life.

Silence had ensued after Phil's mishap, made bizarre by the fact that Renee had never been one to shut up on anything sex related. Thank God Edward had approached moments later, saying "Hey, Bella, I could use another layer of sunscreen. Do you mind getting my back?"

Nope. I hadn't minded one iota.

"Can you cover your eyes?" Edward asked, turning left onto an unfamiliar street.

"Why?"

"I don't want you to see where we're going. It's a surprise."

"You still aren't forgiven for the last surprise you sprung on me. You really want to exacerbate the situation?"

He pursed his lips, considering. "Okay, how about a deal? I don't make you cover your eyes and you forgive me for Florida?"

"How does that in any way benefit me? That's letting you off way too easily. Not to mention, you can't make me close my eyes."

"But I can make you walk home."

"You could, but you won't."

"Try me."

"I'd kill you."

"You could, but you won't," he said.

Two could play that game. "Charlie would kill you."

"You're underestimating my relationship with Coach. He'd find it amusing."

Damn. He was right. "Is this deal open for negotiation?" I asked.

"What terms do you propose?"

"I don't have to cover my eyes tonight and I get a request of my choice, redeemable at any point in the future."

He hesitated. "Knowing you, that's a dangerous deal."

"Whatever do you mean?" I asked, and Edward let out a raucous chuckle.

"How about this; I'll grant you one request, barring any and all acts of prostitution."

"Are you insinuating that I want your body, Mr. Cullen?"

He was sporadically bobbing up and down with the groove of the road and a satisfied grin played on his mouth. "Don't think I didn't notice how you stared at me in Florida. You wanted me."

That accusation was not unfounded. "Fine, it's a deal. One favor, excluding acts of a sexual nature. Now I need a guarantee that you're going to keep up your end of the bargain."

"My word isn't enough?"

I shook my head. "Swear on the Ring."

His eyebrows crinkled. "What ring?"

"What ring?" I repeated in mock indignation. "THE Ring. The One Ring. Are you a Lord of the Rings fan or not?"

"Oh, that Ring. And here I was worried you were referring to the ring I have in my pocket."

It's amazing how still your body can get when your heart starts pumping a million miles an hour. He had a ring in his pocket? What did that mean? Renee had adored Edward since the instant they met, but that hadn't stopped her from sharing one piece of advice: "The two of you are perfection together, but you're too young to get engaged." She'd repeated that at least three times a day. She'd told us when we were together, and cornered us when we were apart.

I'd tried my hardest to explain that we were years off from that kind of commitment, but she hadn't believed me. "I'm telling you, sweetie, he has that look in his eye and you are too young." Could she have been correct? Could Edward be proposing tonight? What would I say if he did?

"We're here."

"What ring?" I asked.

He brought the car to a complete stop on the side of the road and pulled his keys from the ignition. "You'll find out in about a minute." He hopped out of the car and ran around to my side.

"I thought I was clear about no more surprises," I said as soon as the door opened.

"You need to allow me some spontaneity in our relationship. What fun would it be if I told you everything beforehand?" He offered his hand, but I stubbornly refused to exit the vehicle.

"You're right. Our lives wouldn't be fun; they'd be boring. I happen to like boring." And I happened to not like long, unnecessary goodbye scenes and possible proposals before the age of sixteen.

"Well, I need vanilla and chocolate. Humor me, please?"

I was self-aware enough to know that part of the reason I wasn't getting out of the car was because I was scared about what would happen if I did. Would he get down on one knee? Would I say yes? Don't be a coward, I told myself and took his hand. "Isn't this La Push?" Last time I'd been here I was heartbroken, leg-broken, and heavily medicated.

"Don't think of it as La Push. Think of it as the ocean. We like the ocean, remember?" He pulled a lantern and a duffel bag from the back seat, then tugged me in the direction of the water. "Bear with me. I know it's not the same as our beach in Florida."

"Our beach" referred to a hidden cove Edward had discovered, the perfect refuge for nights warm enough to enjoy the midnight sea air and each other's company. Edward and I had spent most of our Florida nights sneaking out (and I used the term "sneaking" loosely since I was positive Renee knew we were gone) to that spot. We'd lie under the stars, wrapped in a blanket and each other, and talk about everything and anything.

"Truth or dare?" he'd asked me one perfect evening.

Being quite contentedly situated next to a nearly naked Edward (which was to say he was wearing trunks and a t-shirt), there had been no way I was budging. "Truth."

He'd been quiet for a long time, mulling over what question he was going to ask. "If I died, do you think you'd fall in love again?"

I had rolled to my stomach and leaned on my elbows, needing his eyes not the stars. "Before I answer, what exactly made you ask that?"

"I was thinking about the movie we saw today," ah, The Notebook, "and how unlikely it is that we'll die at the same time. I was wondering what happens after for you."

"To clarify, we're only talking about the one Nicholas Sparks adaptation, right?" I'd asked. "You're not pulling a Walk to Remember on me and dying young, right?"

Edward had smiled and reached over to twist a strand of my hair with his finger. "As far as I know, I'm healthy as a horse and planning on sticking around a good while longer."

"Okay, then. As long as we're clear on that." I'd straightened up. "Truth-wise, I'd say that I can't ever imagine loving anyone else if you were dead. And I'm not saying that because you're here now, alive and breathing. If you die, then the best part of me dies. I wouldn't be capable of love, at least not the romantic kind, with the ruined bits that were left of me. On top of that, the mere thought of touching and kissing another guy makes me want to vomit."

Edward's expression had been hard to read by moonlight. Mostly he'd seemed passive to my reply, but there had been a hint of disgust in his features. Had that not been what he'd wanted to hear? "Why? Would you want me to find someone else?"

He'd massaged his temple somberly. "There's a large part of me that feels the right answer is that I should want you to find happiness after I'm gone, even if it's with another person. But if I'm being candid with myself, the idea of you kissing and touching another man makes me want to throw-up, too."

I had laughed and returned to my previous comfy position. "Ditto. If I die first, I don't want—"

"Hush. That isn't an option."

"But—"

"No. Either we die together at a very old age, or I die first. That's the way it will be." I'd considered pushing the issue, but the hitch in his voice had warned me we were in sensitive territory. If he wanted to believe there wasn't another option, I'd let him live in that fantasy world. I wouldn't argue. I wouldn't tell him my own desire to die first. That would be my gift to him until the day of reckoning came.

The beach at La Push was certainly different than ours back in Florida. The air was bitterly cold, and clouds filtered the moon's light and blocked the glow of stars. Edward pulled a blanket out of the duffel bag and tucked it around me. "Don't worry. We won't be here long. I wanted to be on a beach when I gave you this, though."

My curiosity peaked when Edward put the glowing lantern down beside us and reached into his pocket. The lantern illuminated a small, black, velvet case that could only contain one thing. "Oh, you do have a ring." A terrorizing dread and a startling anticipation warred through every inch of my body.

"Yes, tonight I'm giving you a ring." With only those words, he opened the box. The ring within was gorgeous and simple and so… so me. A wreath of tiny silver flowers—daisies, I recognized—circled the band. Each flower was perfect, yet unique in its own way, with silver petals and a dab of gold at their centers. Kill me now. If he dropped the question with this ring, I couldn't say no. Renee would have both our heads.

"This isn't an engagement ring," he said. I let out a swoosh of air. "It also isn't a promise ring."

"It isn't?" That would have been my second guess.

"Nope. Promise rings have been done, and what you and I have is completely our own."

"That I can agree with." I smiled. "So why don't you stop telling me what this ring isn't, and tell me what it is?"

"Mostly, it's a ring that made me think of you when I saw it. That, of course, made me think of us and the rings we might wear in the future." My eyes drifted to his left hand, and I imagined what it would look like with a wedding band. "One day I'm going to ask you to marry me. You know that, right?"

"Yes, I know." Where else could our future be headed? "Is that what this is about—you promising to propose one day?" In other words, a promise ring.

"No, this isn't a promise from me. It's a dare." I only caught Edward's meaning when he bent down on one knee. He grasped my hand and butterflies erupted in my stomach. Three years and counting, and he still managed to turn my insides out.

"Bella Swan, I dare you to endeavor to love me as much as I love you, even though I know it's impossible." I scoffed, but a tear fell anyway. "I dare you to be my first when the time comes, and my only for the rest of my life. And I dare you to let me be the same to you."

My whispered voice trembled. "You will be."

"I dare you to one day agree to marry me, and I dare you to actually go through with it." My laugh sounded more like a hiccup. I was outright crying now. "I dare you to live the rest of my life with me, and love me even when I'm gone." He stood now and clutched my wetted cheeks in his hands. "Most important, I dare you to wear this ring every single day so you remember how much I love you."

I tried a joke, hoping it would stem the flow of tears. "But what if I get Alzheimer's like the lady in The Notebook and forget?"

"Fair question. I'll up the stakes to a triple-dog-dare. I know you can't resist one of those." His eyes lighted with amusement and hope. "So, do you accept?"

I opened my mouth, but he interrupted. "Before you respond, just know that if you're answer is no I will be utterly heartbroken. Not only because of the rejection, but because I've been working on that speech for three weeks."

"Is that how you always manage to sound so eloquent?" I asked. "You practice beforehand? That hardly seems fair."

"Fair or not, I need an answer."

"I mean, that's like Harry Potter knowing about the Tri-Wizard dragons, but not telling Cedric Diggory."

"An answer, Bella. Please."

"How is Cedric Diggory supposed to come up with nearly as eloquent a speech about how she feels, without time to prepare?"

"Really, a simple yes or no will suffice."

I wanted to deliver an earth-shattering reply, but inspiration was not striking. I settled for sarcasm. "I suppose. It's not like I have anything better to do with the rest of my life."

A breathtaking smile overtook every one of his facial features and his hands slid from my cheeks to my hands. He raised my left and kissed the ring finger. "We're saving you for a diamond," he told the finger, letting the entire hand fall to my side. "It's you I want." He found my right ring finger and carefully maneuvered the daisy band onto it. This was a moment, a feeling, I would never forget.

It was probably silly for us to stay out on the freezing beach for so long, studying the ring and its effect on my hand by the glow of the lantern, but I would have faced a thousand Orcs to hold onto this one last piece of our perfect summer.

. . .

With the start of school came the challenge of new classes and mounds of homework. Eleventh grade was the year of SAT and ACT standardized testing, and our teachers were pushing us harder than ever. According to them, our entire futures rested on these tests.

As if that wasn't pressure enough, I had Edward to keep up with. There was no question of us going to different colleges; we wouldn't survive a semester without seeing each other. Edward would never say so, but I was the weak link between the two of us. I couldn't let him forgo an Ivy League college because I was too stupid to get in, which meant extra studying for me.

"We're not even through our first week back, and you're already studying through lunches?" said Jasper, placing a tray of food next to my open Physics book. No one else had arrived at our table, yet.

I closed the book and set it aside. "It's going to be a tough year."

"I remember," he said, a Senior now.

"Plus, we're programming new software for MyT-Spot. com. That's going to take up a lot of my time."

"Edward mentioned you were doing that. I meant to talk to you about this last year, but no hard feelings over you not wanting me on the T-Spot team." To say I didn't want Jasper on the MyT-Spot team was an understatement. Edward had presented that idea just hours after Jasper told me in no uncertain terms that he didn't think I was good enough for his best friend.

I had what my mother called a thermal relationship with Jasper. He could be the cool, fun-loving person I adored (warm and fuzzy). Or he could be the arrogant, know-it-all I abhorred (raging inferno). Since we'd gotten back from Florida, he'd been sitting at a solid lukewarm.

"Yeah," I said, somewhat uncomfortably. "Thanks for understanding. Our website is a very personal project between the two of us."

"I get it," Jasper said, taking a bite of mashed potatoes. "Sometimes girls are a little needy." (See? Raging inferno).

Lucky for him, Ben and Angela arrived with their trays of food, soon followed by Cynthia, then Edward. "What do you think you're doing?" Edward asked Jasper. "That's my chair."

"I don't think so, mellon," Jasper said. "I was here first."

"But it is next to my meleth, so I have rights to it."

"The Elvish language is not nearly as nice-sounding when you speak it in fragments," I noted, wishing Jasper would give up and scoot over.

"Aa' lasser en lle coia orn n' omenta gurtha, m'lady," he said, before doing just that.

I looked up at Edward as he sat down in the now vacant seat. "Translate, please."

"Roughly, he said, 'May the leaves of your life tree never turn brown.'" (Aw. Warm and fuzzy).

"Thank you, Jasper," I said.

"Yes, yes, Jasper's Elvish is wonderful," Edward said, "though rusty on the accent."

Jasper crumpled a napkin and threw it at Edward's head.

The two best friends hadn't gotten to talk much over the summer, since Jasper was busy with baseball camp. Edward never once complained though, always insisting he was happier spending his summer with me. Now that they were back together, I could tell how much he had missed his friend.

For that reason, I happily sometimes-loathed Jasper in private. Besides, I had my Diabolical Plot to Get Jasper a Girlfriend to keep my irritation distracted. The thought of Alice and Jasper together warmed my heart, mostly because it meant he'd have someone other than my boyfriend to occupy his time. Thinking of which, Stage Three: Re-Introduction to Society was about to commence. From across the cafeteria, I saw Alice empty the remaining contents of her lunch into a trash bin and start walking to our table.

All my planning and scheming had been leading up to this one interaction, the moment I introduced Alice to my friends as someone other than my mortal enemy. For months I'd been preparing her for this. We'd kept in contact via email, rehearsing our first move.

There were only two rules she needed to abide by for this to work: Do not talk to Jasper. Do not look at Jasper.

Ben was the first to notice Alice hovering next to our table. He nudged Angela, who gave me a knowing look. Conversation faded into bristling silence as one-by-one the entire table became aware of her presence.

"What are you doing here?" Cynthia asked in a snotty tone I once believed sisters only used on television.

Like we'd practiced, Alice fixed her gaze on me. "I'm here to talk to Bella."

Edward went rigid and put a protective hand on my forearm. Past encounters with Alice being what they were, he perceived her as popular and shallow. He detested her for that and for her previous misbehavior towards me. If only he could have seen the Alice that picked up my dead mouse.

"Hello, Alice. How are you this afternoon?" I recited.

"I am well, Bella. I came over to see if you enjoyed the reading from last night."

"Yes, Alice. Our Physics book quite aptly described centripetal force." I figured I might as well make us sound smart if we were scripting this stuff anyway.

"Aren't the effects of circular motion and gravitation fascinating, Bella?" she asked.

Jasper made a noise between a scoff and a chuckle. That was all it took to break Alice's focus. She was looking. She was looking. She was looking!

I panicked. "Alice!" Her head whipped back to me. "I…" forgot the next line, "didn't show you the ring Edward gave me." Making this up on the spot, I flashed her my right hand.

"It's beautiful," she said with a shocking amount of sincerity. "You have great taste, Edward."

Once again I saw the proper gentleman in him duke it out with the renegade. He didn't want to thank this girl he despised, but his manners wouldn't allow him to do otherwise. Out came a half-hearted, "Thanks," in response.

"Um, great," Alice said, unsure of herself now. "I guess I'll see you in class then, Bella. Bye."

"Bye, Alice," I said. In her wake, nobody talked for at least thirty seconds.

Jasper was the first to crack. "Was that like the Twilight Zone for anyone else? What was that about?"

"Oh, that's Alice," I said, anticipating the questions.

"I know who she is, even if you hadn't said her name fifty times in the last minute. Why were you talking to her?"

None ya bees-wax. "She's my lab-partner for Physics."

"How did that happen?" Edward asked.

Careful planning and manipulation. "Luck of the draw."

He put his arm around my shoulder and kissed my forehead. "Are you going to be okay? If it makes you uncomfortable, we can talk to the teacher about getting you another partner."

"It's fine," I said. "She's not that bad."

"Not that bad?" Jasper asked. "I have enough evidence to get a restraining order against her."

"She thinks it's funny to flush her bathroom toilet when I'm in the shower," said Cynthia.

Edward looked like he thought I should be committed. "She's practically bullied you since the moment you walked into Forks Middle School. Need I remind you of the clown make-up incident?"

I shot Angela a desperate look. She was in-the-know as far as my Diabolical Plot was concerned (of which she heartily approved). "Come on, guys, stop harassing Bella. We have more pressing things to discuss," said Angela, the bestest bestie of all BFFs. "Like, who's coming to our first Book Club meeting next Friday?"

As if I didn't have enough on my plate, Angela and I had decided to start a school Book Club. Three days of bribing and persuading the school librarian, and she'd finally agreed to be our sponsor (as long as she didn't have to do anything) and let us use the library.

"I'm afraid I can't make it," Ben said. "I have Taekwondo that afternoon."

"I can't come either," Cynthia said. "I have… stuff."

"Yeah, Jasper and I were planning on going down to the field with a few of the guys to throw a baseball around. Get in shape early, ya know?" Edward said.

"What! You're not coming to be supporto-boyfriend?" I trilled.

"It's a Harry Potter Book Club," Edward said. "That would go against my Ringer Code of Honor."

"It is not a Harry Potter Book Club," I said, pounding my fist on the table for emphasis. "We're discussing the Sorcerer's Stone as our first book because most people have already read it. It's convenient!"

"Come on, Edward." Jasper prodded him on the shoulder. "We can do the baseball thing another day. It's obviously important to Bella that you're there, and she did come to all of our baseball practices and games." (Warm and fuzzy).

Edward held up his hands in surrender. "Fine. Fine. Have it your way." He gave me a sideways smirk and a kiss on the cheek.

. . .

Over the next week Angela and I passed out hundreds of fliers to the student body. If five people outside our circle of friends came to Book Club, we'd consider it a success. To fit with the theme, Angela had found Harry Potter recipes online (licorice wands, cauldron cakes, butterbeer), and I had ordered Harry Potter party supplies from the nearest Party City (I was going to get to eat off Daniel Radcliffe's face!).

Friday was full of nerves and anticipation. I desperately wanted this to be a success, so Angela and I could leave behind a stamp on Forks High when we graduated next year. After the bell rang signaling the end of classes, I had exactly five minutes to run to my locker, grab the supplies, and head up the library.

I pushed my way through the flood of students to find Alice waiting for me and internally groaned, already knowing what she wanted. We had planned and rehearsed so she could approach me daily at lunch and have our little one-minute conversation. The idea was that, slowly but surely, my friends would get used to her presence, and eventually, she'd land an invite to join us for lunch.

Problem was, Alice was never one for slow. "I need to talk to you," she said.

I concentrated on my locker combination. "Can't. I have to be at the Library in three minutes."

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about."

"No, you can't come to Book Club," I said for the millionth time.

"Come on! Why not? I love the Sorcerer's Stone. I want to discuss!"

I opened the locker and reached for the bag of supplies. "You're not ready to be in the same room as Jasper for more than a few seconds at a time. You can barely keep your eyes off him during lunch. And you're still struggling with Stage Two."

"That's nonsense. Stage Two is practically second nature to me now."

Stage Two: Personality Replacement required her to practice everyday manners. It was not an easy task for someone whose actual second nature was to insult anything that moved. "By the way, I meant to tell you earlier how great your hair looked today," I said.

She glowed. "I know. Isn't it awesome?"

"See? You proved my point. In polite conversation, if someone gives you a compliment, you say thank you."

"What? I can agree with people who compliment me."

"Agree with them inside your head. Acknowledging it out loud makes you sound…" I searched for the word.

"Bitchy?"

"Exactly."

"I still don't see how Jasper's supposed to fall in love with me if I never get to talk to him."

I shut my locker. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder."

She was sick of hearing that phrase, but it was the absolute truth. My diabolical plot was, well, diabolic. And perfect. "You know, you're as conniving as I am. But you're nice, so you can get away with it," she said. "That's one thing I appreciate about our relationship."

"We don't have a relationship. We have a business deal." I paused. "Why do I feel like I just quoted Richard Gere in Pretty Woman?"

"You didn't. Not exactly, at least. Ironic that you bring up a movie where the male hero's name is Edward. Maybe in another life your Edward was rich and you were his prostitute."

"That would be a highly fictionalized version of my life." In that reality, Edward wouldn't cling so hard to his virginity.

"Weirder things have been known to happen."

"Edward's coming."

"Precisely the thing his prostitute would hope for."

"No, he's on his way here." Over Alice's shoulder, I could see his puzzled expression making its way through the after school crowd. "I'll have to talk to you later. You're coming over tomorrow for rehearsal?"

"Yep. See you then." She threw a wave over her shoulder.

Edward stepped into her vacated spot moments later. "Were you talking to Alice?"

I crossed my fingers behind my back. "It was nothing. Physics stuff."

"You're remarkably devoted to your Physics grade this year." In response to his observation, I grabbed his hand and tugged him in the direction of the library. He didn't budge. "Is there something you want to tell me?"

"I love you?"

"Come on. We're better than that. Be honest, are you friends with her now?"

"Of course not." That was not a lie. A friendship with Alice was more preposterous than the idea of Hooker Bella. "I used to despise her; now I merely tolerate her. That is nowhere near friendship."

Edward didn't answer, but was clearly suspicious. As much as I really wanted to continue this conversation (sarcasm), we were now officially running late. I reminded him of this and gave his hand another tug. This time, he didn't fight it.

Angela was already setting up the snacks and drinks when we arrived at the library. Edward got to work pulling tables together to make enough room for a proper discussion, while I decorated the space with Harry Potter plates and party favors. Before I knew it, it was time for students to arrive.

Only, they didn't. Five, ten, fifteen minutes of waiting, and the only person who walked through the library doors was Jasper.

"Where are all the people at?" he asked.

Angela chuckled sadly and threw her limp Harry Potter party blower on the table. "This is what we would call a flop." It was a disappointing blow, and I was embarrassed that Jasper and Edward were there to witness our failure. We were about ready to throw in the towel when the door creaked open again.

"Sorry I'm late. I forgot these at home." Emmett McCarty held up a pair of glasses. "Knew I couldn't come to the Harry Potter Book Club without them." Angela and I nearly teetered over in outrageous excitement as Emmett put on a pair of Harry Potter frames. Enchanted, indeed.

Emmett made all the difference. The three of us, Angela, Emmett, and I, had a lively and fun discussion of Sorcerer's Stone, all the while snacking on Angela's treats and poking fun at Edward and Jasper for hating the series. It was a blast debating with the two naysayers.

By the end of our allotted time, we'd established Angela as president, me as vice president, and Emmett as secretary. We enjoyed the discussion of Sorcerer's Stone so much that we decided to continue with Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets as next month's read. Jasper and Edward only minorly protested.

. . .

With the mountains of homework and my increasing responsibilities to MyT-Spot, the month seemed to go by in a whirlwind.

Edward and I worked closely almost daily to fix the kinks in the new MyT-Spot software, but it was all work and no play. He wanted to get the new website up and running before baseball season, knowing he wouldn't be as available to help once it started. I missed the closeness and intimacy we'd shared over the summer. Edward was feeling it too. He'd taken to rubbing my daisy ring whenever he was particularly stressed, as if it was a good-luck token.

Despite my hectic schedule, I managed to stay on top of my Diabolical Plot to Get Jasper a Girlfriend. Alice and I kept up with our daily lunchtime conversations by writing them in Physics and rehearsing them in the hallways, and if we needed more time to get something right, she would come over to my house. She'd charmed Charlie into adoring her, proving she could be a pleasant person when she wanted to be.

Every once in awhile, I'd catch Edward and Jasper throwing wary glances my way. They'd long given up on asking me anything Alice-related, but their suspicions were unquestionably growing. I'd overheard Jasper telling Edward they needed to moderate the situation: "We should keep an eye on those two. Something's up." (Raging inferno).

I was excited for our second Book Club meeting to roll around. It'd be nice to let off some steam. Getting to yell at Jasper with no repercussions was good for me (even if it was only about Harry Potter). It was the five of us again, plus Cynthia. Like last time, we pushed tables together and set out snacks.

Once we were all settled, Emmett got the ball rolling. He'd grown attached to his secretarial position already, producing a Harry Potter Quidditch-themed notebook to scribble notes in and a feather quill to do the scribbling. "First order of business," he said, "please sign-in on this page."

We threw out some ideas for fundraising and new member acquisition as we passed the notebook around and signed our names on a page marked Dumbledore's Army – 10/8/04.

"Is that everything?" I asked when the notebook made its way back to Emmett. He looked it over and gave me the thumbs up. "Great. Let's get down to the fun part. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. How do you feel it compared to the first?"

"Actually," Jasper said, "there's something else we'd like to talk about before we get to the book discussion."

"For the record, I told them this was a bad idea," Angela said.

"What's a bad idea?" I asked, stupefied.

She turned to Edward, who was tapping his finger tensely on the table. "You tell her. This was your brilliant plan."

"Tell me what?"

Edward indicated he needed a moment, then pulled a folder out of his backpack and positioned it on the table so it was perfectly perpendicular to the edge. He took his time opening it, as the rest of us waited in uneasy silence. Eventually he said, "We would like to talk to you about Alice Brandon."

"What about Alice?" I asked, a watermelon sprouting in my stomach.

"It hasn't escaped our notice that you've been spending time with her." Edward put on his reading glasses and examined his notes. "Aside from your daily chats at lunch, you've been spotted numerous times talking to her in the hallways. Coach Swan also reports that you've had a, quote, 'Short, chipper, spiky-haired spitfire' at your house on several occasions over the last month." This would be one of those times I hated my father's relationship with Edward. "While we love and support you, and respect your right to be friends with anyone you choose, we thought it important to remind you of a few past incidents that might make you… reconsider."

"Alice is the Regina George of Forks High. She's evil," Cynthia said, raising her hand. "And I say that with total sisterly love and devotion."

"Please exclude me from the 'we' statements," Angela said. "I told them this was a bad idea, for the record."

"Wait, is this supposed to be an intervention?" I asked. "Have you all been talking behind my back?"

"I haven't," said Emmett. "I thought this was Book Club."

"This is not an intervention," Edward said. "But we've been keeping abreast of the situation—"

"Um, Edward?" Cynthia raised her hand. "We're not all obsessed with Bella's boobs."

"Abreast, Cynthia. A-breast. It's a term that has nothing to do with…" Edward gestured between his pectorals, before looking down at his flat t-shirt and shaking away his hand. "It has nothing to do with, uh, breasts. It means we've been keeping on top of her— it! We're on top of the situation, not Bella."

Cynthia bowed her head in acknowledgement. "You learn something new everyday."

"Well, we are in a school," I said briskly.

"Back to business," Jasper said. "We're concerned for your mental well-being."

"I would like to state again, for the record, I did not think this was a good idea," Angela said. "And, for the record, I'm not worried about Bella's mental well-being."

Cynthia raised her hand. "You're probably the person who should be worried the most. Best friends are always the first to get kicked to the curb when people make new friends."

"Excuse me," I said. "I am not friends with Alice. We are lab-partners on a science project."

"A school project. We've heard that excuse before, haven't we?" Jasper nudged Edward. (RAGING inferno).

"Yes," I seethed. "And you were the result. I've learned my lesson."

Emmett let out a low whistle and jotted that down in his notebook.

Jasper appeared unaffected by the comment. "Look, I know the full scale of Alice Brandon's crazy. She is obsessed with me. Like, Fatal Attraction obsessed. It's clear that she's using you to get to me."

"Actually, she's not interested in you anymore," I said, spotting an opportunity to reinforce Stage One: Fanatical Discontinuation. "She says you overplay your accent, your hair is too styled, and your pout makes you look constipated." A jolt of delight shot through me when Jasper reached up to touch one of his precious curls.

"Okay. This is all right." Edward shuffled through his notes. "The Internet said you'd be mad. Personal insults are to be expected. We still love and support you."

"For the record," Angela said, "I told them this was a bad idea."

"I have you on the record saying that four times," Emmett said. "I think you're in the clear."

Edward pulled a small stack of note cards from his folder. "Bella, if Alice is confiding her feelings for Jasper to you, you must be friendly on some level."

"We are not friends."

"This would be the denial stage of the intervention," Jasper said.

"I repeat, this is not an intervention," Edward said. "Now, I have compiled a list of Alice-related episodes to remind you of her past offenses against you. If you're still interested in a friendship with her—"

"We are not friends."

"—then we will respect your decision and still love and support you. Sound good?"

"If you weren't such a good-looking boy, I'd totally Avada Kedavra your ass. In case you don't get that reference, you'd be as dead as Cedric Diggory."

Emmett clapped his hands over his ears. "Spoilers!"

"You've already read the book," I reminded him.

"I haven't," Cynthia said. Why was she even here?

"Death threats are also expected. I still love and support you," Edward said, adjusting his glasses. "Let's get started. Eighth grade, September 13, 2001, our first dance. The gym was filled with streamers and the general merriment of the hour. I was head yearbook photographer; you were my assistant. That night, I held you in my embrace for the first time. Then Alice Brandon interrupted…"

I sat idly as I listened to the long list of Alice's transgressions. The barbed remarks and backhanded compliments at my expense, witnessed over the last three years, were all there, as were numerous Cinderella skirmishes and times she'd spoken insensitively to Edward.

When he was finished, Edward laid his note cards on the table and placed his reading glasses on top. "I rest my case."

"Am I allowed to talk now?" I asked.

"Please do," Edward said.

"Let me be clear. Alice and I are not friends." Edward and Jasper opened their mouths, but I held up a finger. "But if we were, why does it bother you so much?"

"Did you not listen to the list of things I read off?" Edward asked. "When she hurt you, it hurt me. I will never forgive her for that."

"I will not eat Green Eggs and Ham. I do not like them, Sam-I-Am." All heads turned to Emmett. "All I'm saying is never say never," he said.

"That was very insightful," said Angela.

"Thank you."

"Back on track people. Focus," Jasper said. "Now be honest, Bella. Is this about popularity?"

"No," I said exasperated. "I want to discuss Chamber of Secrets, not Alice."

"Is this about being bored with your current friends?" Jasper asked.

"No, of course not," I said, looking to Angela to make sure she knew that.

"Don't look at me." She held her hands up in the air. "I told them this was a bad idea."

"Is this about drugs?"

"NO!"

"Is this about…" Jasper drifted off, staring at me as if trying to read me like one of the surrounding library books. Evidently he found the passage he was looking for, because his eyes lighted and a triumphant finger rose in the air, pointed directly at me. "Oh, you're good." He twirled his finger around knowingly. "You are good. This is about what happened between us, isn't it?"

Edward's chair wobbled as he brusquely swiveled to his feet. "Nothing happened between us!" I yelled, simultaneously trying to reassure Edward and get Jasper to shut up.

"Yes, it did! That day Edward stayed home sick last year!"

Edward was turning a violent shade of red. He turned on Jasper. "I swear to God, if you laid a finger on her..."

"No, no, no, it wasn't like that, man. Believe me, I wouldn't touch Bella with a ten-foot pole." I was insulted and relieved. The feeling is mutual, buddy. "Not because she's not attractive," he backtracked at Edward's scathing glare. "But come on, you're my best friend."

"Then explain," Edward said through his teeth.

"In case you're interested," Emmett whispered, "that's exactly what Edward looked like when he beat the shit out of Mike Newton." I believed it. I'd never seen this kind of livid before.

Jasper leaned as far away from Edward as his seat would allow and let out a nervous chuckle. "Look, this is all a giant misunderstanding." He addressed the whole table, visibly trying to get someone on his side. "You were out sick for the day. Bella and I decided to get to know each other better. It was completely platonic; we were only talking. She asked questions, then I asked questions. I repeat, one hundred percent platonic."

Edward looked at me and I nodded. "I swear it," I said. He turned back to Jasper.

"Anyway, I ended up asking her some questions she didn't like. Clearly she is still mad about it, and doing this whole Alice thing to get back at me." He sounded like an arrogant, conceited asshole. He was also right.

Edward was a scary kind of composed. "And what exactly were these questions you asked the girl whom I love with my entire being and plan on one day marrying?"

Jasper gulped and looked down at the table ledge. "There was some talk about food, some philosophy about Final Destination, some discussion about future goals… and, okay, possibly some stuff about how I wasn't sure she was good enough for you."

The silence was deep, even for a library.

"But," Jasper said brightly to break the tension, "I was testing her, see. And she rose to the challenge. She really loves you, man." He went to give Edward a congratulatory clap on the shoulder, but decided to study his nails instead.

Edward didn't move as he processed this information. Knowing him as well as I did, I understood what he was feeling. Edward lived his life in a world of black and white, and he would consider this betrayal a fatal blow to their friendship.

"Dude, that was not cool," Emmett said.

"Yeah, I have to agree," Angela said. "How could you say that to Bella? She loves Edward so much."

I felt somewhat sympathetic to the desperate look on Jasper's face. "Isn't it the duty of a best friend to check out the people his friend dates?" he asked.

"You're not a chick!" Emmett said.

"And you're not my best friend," Edward said tersely. "She is." He looked at me, love and disappointment in his gaze. "I can't believe you didn't tell me." He walked out of the library.

Why was I not surprised this had come back to bite me in the ass? "I'm just going to take care of that," I said to the group, leaping up to follow Edward. Jasper stood to come with me. I pointed at him. "Sit." He parked himself back in his chair like a good boy. "Stay."

Edward was already outside, heading for a tree that would shield us from the afternoon drizzle. He sat cross-legged at the trunk of the tree. Forgoing the damp ground, I rested myself in his lap. He welcomed me with open arms and my head lolled comfortably against his chest.

We sat quietly for about a minute before I said, "Angela once checked you out."

"I thought she was interested in Ben."

I punched him on the arm. "Not like that, you dope. We were in eighth grade and I was sitting right there at the table with the two of you. She started asking you all of these questions and I had no idea what she was doing."

"I don't remember this," he said.

"You probably thought she was trying to get to know you better. Angela has something Jasper doesn't." I waited. "You're supposed to ask me what it is. Play along."

A tiny smile traced his lips. "Fine. What does Angela have that Jasper doesn't?"

"Tact," I said. "Jasper is probably the least subtle person I've met. Angela, on the other hand, has ninja stealth."

"Then how do you know she was checking me out?"

"Because when she finished, she gave me two thumbs up. She was excited for me. Jasper may have said some rude, horrible things, but he did it because he cares. He wants to make sure you're happy."

"I am happy," he said, reaching in front of me to grab my hand. "But what about you? What about your feelings?"

"I can deal," I said.

"Can you? If I remember correctly, we had a nasty argument that afternoon. Why didn't you tell me the reason?"

"It seems cliché to say, but I knew how you'd react. You wouldn't want to keep him in your life if it risked me."

"I don't understand you," Edward said. "You had the perfect opportunity to get rid of someone you can't stand, but you chose not to because… why exactly? For my sake?"

"Yes and no," I said. "Let's get something straight. I can not stand Jasper, but I love Jasper."

Edward made a disgusted noise in the back of his throat. "Sounds like the plotline of a particularly banal romance novel."

"Ew. No." I gagged at the mental image that conjured. "Jasper is like an older, highly annoying brother. I used to worship him when I was younger, but now that I've grown up and gotten to know him, he drives me crazy. But I do love him. And I love you and him as best friends. You guys click, like crunchy peanut butter and jelly." I gave him time to mull over that, before asking, "What are you feeling now?"

"I'm angry. I'm completely furious with Jasper. Not that you're not doing a good job settling me down." He nuzzled his forehead against my cheek. "But I can never forgive him for what he said to you."

"Green Eggs and Ham and all that," I said. "And it's okay that you feel mad. No one could blame you for it, not even Jasper."

"I don't know what to do with all this anger."

"Yell at him if you want. Vent it out, just like we do. But please don't throw away your perfect PB and J relationship because of your anger. Remember how miserable it made us when we broke up?"

"If I ended my friendship with Jasper, it would be nothing in comparison to the pain I felt that week." He twisted the daisy ring around my finger. "You are my Earth. Jasper is Pluto, if he's lucky."

His words made my toes tingle. "I love you more than all the stars in the galaxy," I said.

"No, you don't. You only want me for my brain."

"Not even your whole brain," I joked. "I could do without whatever part of it decided to hold an intervention today."

"It was not an intervention."

"Yes. It was."

He was tentative to agree, but he did in the end. "Yeah, it was. But the Internet said you'd react better if I was non-confrontational."

"Well, it worked."

"It did?" he asked.

"Nope."

He laughed, but the blissful noise and vibrations that ran through his body because of it cut off shortly. Like a naughty puppy that couldn't sit still for too long, I spotted Jasper walking toward us.

"I think I should leave you two to talk," I said.

"More likely to shout," Edward said curtly.

"Shout all you want, but keep in mind what I said. His heart was in the right place." I kissed Edward, crawled off his lap, and headed back to the school. Meeting Jasper about midway across the lawn, I said quietly, "He's still mad, but I don't think it will be lethal. Whatever you do, agree with everything he says and act apologetic as hell."

"Um, thanks." Jasper rubbed the back of his neck, clearly discomfited. "Look, it was months ago, but I'm sorry about what I said."

"It's fine," I said. "I get it. I want to protect him too. Good luck."

"You're a cool chick, Bella. The coolest actually." (Warm and fuzzy.)

"I know you said you wouldn't touch me with a ten-foot pole, but this would be the appropriate time to give me a hug to show Edward we're cool."

He smiled good-naturedly and enveloped me in a big bear hug. I had high hopes we could peacefully coexist in Edward's life from now on, and with any luck, without all the weird temperature analogies.

Jasper turned to make his way over to the tree. From behind his back, I gave Edward a grin and two thumbs up. I, his best friend, approved.

. . .

The next day at school, Edward acted civil to Jasper. Though there was still some underlying tension between the two, the worst was over. Jasper looked different, relieved that he had held onto his friendship with Edward. And there was something else.

Alice was at her locker, a few rows down from mine. I walked over to deliver the fabulous news. "My diabolical plot is working."

"How can you tell?" she asked, stuffing a book into the upper shelf of her locker.

"Yesterday I told Jasper you didn't like his hair."

The book slipped from her grasp and unceremoniously clunked to the ground. "You didn't! I love his hair!"

I turned Alice around so she could see. Jasper had gotten a haircut.