[A/N] I am ALIVE. With an UPDATE. Enjoy ;)
Happy reading~
Shelter from the Rain
a vampire fic
25} indecision
.
.
close your eyes, take my hand, and let's dream of a better world
.
Sasuke lied in his bed with limbs sprawled in all directions, unable to sleep. His blanket had fallen off the bed some time ago, but he lacked the willpower to reach down and grab it. His apartment maintained heat fairly well, so he was warm enough without the blanket over him, though he felt remarkably confident that December would be chilling.
December...
The vampire smiled. He had met Haruno Sakura in April, at the start of the school year, and just a few weeks after that, he'd learned the taste of her blood. Time seemed to sail away, thrusting him too quickly towards his eighteenth birthday, when he would have to disappear. He felt strangely calm about the fact. In only a year and a half, his existence would disappear with Orochimaru taking over his body. It would inevitably happen, so he felt no qualms.
And then Sakura would be free...
Suddenly, there was an intense heat from the back of his neck. He cringed, and pressed his hand against the curse seal. Thoughts of Sakura burned him with a carnal desire to dig his teeth into her neck. No, more than that. He wanted to cover her pale skin with signs of his possession of her, give her pretty limbs his teeth marks. His body ached for her, but the desire he had for his lovely human consort was beyond the influence of the curse seal.
Because it wasn't just the curse seal that yearned to take her slender body into his arms and her skin into his mouth. He wanted her, too. The problem was that the curse seal made him want to take things too far.
It made him want to kill her.
.
.
maintain your distance
.
"Sasuke-kun," she greeted him quietly as she opened the door.
"Good morning," he said, and adjusted his green tie. "Ready?"
"...Yeah."
They set off for school. Sakura did not fail to notice his dark circles; they were ever present, but this morning they made a very clear hint that he hadn't gotten any sleep. But it wasn't just that that made her anxious.
He walked ahead of her. Just half a step. Just enough to make her wary.
.
.
why won't you trust me?
.
Naruto acted completely normal at school, as if he hadn't admitted to loving Haruno Sakura just the afternoon before. It made Sakura feel... weird. Somehow blamed. "Naruto," she said when her eyes caught him coming inside the classroom, and he ran to her and hugged her in greeting as usual.
"Sakura-chan! You missed out on some great ramen yesterday," he informed her as he pulled away. She was faintly surprised; usually she was the first to break the hug.
"...Ramen?" she repeated.
"Yeah. Hinata invited me."
Sakura blinked a few times, confused, and her eyes flickered to where the Hyuuga girl sat at her desk, the sweet face looking content as she read through a thick, fancy-looking novel. "Oh," Sakura said, not sure of what else she could say.
Naruto grinned. "But today, you, me, and the bastard should all go get some!"
"Sasuke-kun left already," Ino piped in, finally deciding to enter the conversation despite having been atop Sakura's desk the entire time.
"Aw, dammit!" Naruto cursed. "Where'd he go? I saw him walking in with Sakura-chan just a few minutes ago!"
Ino shrugged. "Dunno."
"But you always know where the hell he is."
Naruto received a vicious slap on the side of his head for that one. "That's you! And don't talk to me like I'm some stalker!" Ino hissed.
The other blond put a hand up in supplication. "Sorry. Just don't hit me again. Those freaking nails will slice my face in half."
Ino glared at him. "Like I'd waste a pretty manicure on destroying your face... although it'd be helluva a lot of fun."
"Oi!"
Sakura sighed, eternally failing to understand how the two always had so much energy to waste on arguments. Sasuke could usually fend them off for a while, monopolizing her...
Where would he have to go that was so urgent that he skipped school?
.
.
I guess I wanted you to depend on me
.
"How does it feel?"
"It... burns."
Shizune frowned as she pulled her fingers away from the back of Sasuke's neck. "That doesn't sound good," she said.
"Just give me some blood," replied the younger vampire, tugging at his white collar and trying to pry it away from his neck and the strange tattoo Orochimaru had planted there. He'd come straight to the hospital after dropping Sakura off at school, neglecting to go home and change, and the uniform's itchy material agitated the mark. "It'll make me feel better, even if only for a while."
"Sasuke." She spoke with an ominous tone of warning. "You haven't been drinking enough blood."
"Yeah." He shrugged. "I know." It wouldn't do for him to be seen anywhere with those red eyes; that's why he came here, before Sakura could notice the blaring physical scream of his eyes that asked for her blood.
Shizune shook her head and reached for the wooden chair. The check-up room was locked, so she was free to talk without fear of interruption, but she still felt a little anxious discussing vampire-related topics in a human-filled hospital. As she sat down, she said wearily, "You care about her, don't you? Haruno-san."
He looked immediately perturbed at her question, but gave a brief nod.
Though knowing it hurt him to admit it, she continued, "Then don't you want to drink her blood?" Shizune propped her arm onto the little desk containing a sundry collection of medical items, and looked at the boy who struggled to find words.
After a few thoughtful seconds, Sasuke said, "I do. Every day. Every minute." He paused. "That's the problem." His downcast eyes softened with melancholy.
"Are you falling in love with her?" Shizune asked him softly.
"...No." He looked up to give the other vampire a smirk. "Don't you know I swore off love of any kind when Itachi betrayed me?"
"But he never actually betrayed you," she pointed out.
"I know," said Sasuke, "but the vow still stands."
"Why?" she questioned, taken aback.
"I only have a year and a half left, Shizune."
"Hm. Kakashi couldn't slap any sense into you?"
Sasuke glanced up again, his black gaze sharp. "How did you know he visited me?"
"We're quite friendly, you know."
"You're on his side, aren't you?"
"Jealous, Sasu-chan?" she teased him.
"Don't call me that," he retorted.
She laughed; then she sighed, before softly inquiring, "Sasuke, don't you want to live?"
"I don't have a choice."
"No," she agreed, "but you can fight."
His expression soured. "You are on Kakashi's side," he said, with the corner of his lips pulled down.
"Yes," Shizune told him with a smile, "which means we're both on your side."
.
.
choose to live, for my sake
.
It was a vicious cycle.
He needed to drink her blood in order to survive.
But when he drank her blood, the curse seal on the back of his neck threatened to activate and take over.
So he cut himself off from her entirely, ending up with extremely painful "withdrawal symptoms", as Kakashi had called them. He could probably go and seduce some other girls in order to get their blood, but that would be breaking his promise with her, and breaking promises went against the honor code he had established after meeting Naruto.
Besides, he wanted to drink her blood, and only hers.
But the times he did drink her blood, he always drank too much. By doing that, he hurt her. He didn't want to hurt her.
But he needed to drink her blood in order to survive.
A vicious, vicious, painful cycle.
.
.
please look at me
.
The sun was setting behind Sakura as she knocked on her consort's front door, feeling terribly awkward. "...Sasuke?" she called, when there was no response. She knocked again, and waited. Still no reply. Was he in the shower?
She stood there, silently, wondering what to do and feeling her resolve melt into a puddle of embarrassment. She'd come to demand him to drink her blood... but he wasn't even here. How had he become so adept at avoiding her in the space of a week? And where the hell would he be on a school evening?
"Sakura. What are you doing here?"
She nearly jumped—Speak of the devil!—but settled for a small shriek instead. She turned around slowly, and avoided the dark eyes of her consort by staring at his sneaker-clad feet. "Sasuke-kun," she greeted the ground simply.
"I said, what are you doing here?" Sasuke looked at her for a moment, but when she didn't give an answer, he stepped around her to unlock the door. He didn't open it, though, and instead turned to simply meet her gaze, which had finally risen from the flooe.
They stared at each other for a long moment of silence, until Sakura broke it to murmur, "I want you to drink my blood."
He blinked. "What?"
"Drink my blood, Sasuke." Sakura reached around him to open the door, and stepped primly inside. She strode over to the couch, trying not to feel uncomfortable with his heavy gaze watching her, and sat down. She sat with her knees together and her hands clasped in her lap.
He walked over to her. But instead of sitting beside her on the couch and reaching for her neck, he grabbed her arm instead a few inches below her shoulder. He hoisted her to her feet. "Leave, Sakura."
Rage suddenly burned in her. "Why are you being so distant?" she cried, and pulled away from his grip. It hadn't been very strong, but his expression wore shock upon seeing her break away so forcefully. "Some days, you act like everything's okay... you treat me nicely, you... you even kiss me, and then all of a sudden, just like that, you randomly pull away." Her eyes blazed with an emerald fire. "I really hate that!"
"Sakura." He paused, unsure of what to say, then murmured, "Sometimes, I don't know how much I can tell you."
"Why?" she demanded.
"Because you'll get scared and run away."
"Run away? From you?" She inhaled sharply, then looked away. "You're a vampire, you've bitten me several times already, and we did the soul exchange. Our lives are intertwined, right?" Her lip quivered, and she unexpectedly turned back to him. He almost stepped back at the anger in her eyes. "I just... want to help you."
Without a word, he pushed her back into a seated position on the couch. He let himself down beside her, and very gently, he took her face between his hands. She seemed to freeze for a moment, her eyes wide as she looked into his red eyes.
"You're hungry," she whispered.
"For you," he agreed, and then he kissed her.
She didn't push him away, her body remaining still except for her lips, which moved against his to ask, "Why haven't you been asking for my blood lately?"
He hesitated before pulling away. "Sakura," he said, and his fingers traveled from her face to her neck, "you're becoming a hazard."
Green eyes narrowed. "What do you mean?"
"I want to do terrible things to you."
She seemed to be at a loss of words.
"You don't know anything, do you? But it's my fault for keeping you so in the dark." He sighed. "Do you see this mark?" he asked, and turned his body just enough that she could see the back of his neck. He lifted up his hair.
"...What is it?"
"It's a curse seal."
"Curse seal?"
"It's a mark of my slavery."
She stared at him, bewildered. "You're a slave?"
"Yes." He nodded. "I'm the slave of the current sovereign of the vampire community."
"What community?"
"The Bloody Society," he replied.
Sakura tilted her head slightly, the only physical indication of her curiosity. Her expression remained neutral. "Then who's the current sovereign?"
"His name is Orochimaru."
"...And why are you his slave?"
"Because I made an agreement with him. If he gave me power, I would give him my body in return." He dropped his hands from her neck, but his eyes steadily held hers.
"Do all vampires pretend to be human?"
"No."
"But you're allowed to just... roam?"
"No."
She blinked. "Then how are you here?"
"Because a nurse called Shizune and a man named Kakashi convinced Orochimaru to let me out until I turned eighteen."
"...What happens when you turn eighteen?" she asked.
"So full of questions, aren't you?" he teased her, and pinched her nose. But his tiny smirk was bitter, not amused. "What I mean to say, Sakura, I'm going to disappear when I turn eighteen."
Finally her blank expression contorted into one of bewilderment. "I don't... understand."
Sasuke reached for a strand of her hair, and twirled it around his finger. "He's going to take my body. He'll erase me and insert himself, and everything about me will disappear. That's the significance of this seal."
"...Then it's just a benign mark?"
"No. It hurts me."
"What does it do?"
He looked away. "It makes me want to bite your neck in half."
Sakura froze completely.
"Not now," he said, "only when I drink your blood. But that's not much better, is it? Still feeling up to offering your blood to me? Don't worry, I'll be gone soon enough."
"Sasuke-kun..." She grabbed hold of his hand, the one that had her hair around a finger. "Is that why you haven't been drinking my blood?" Her eyes were wide, showing him every bit of her green pupils. "Because you want to kill me?"
Oh, her scared expression is beautiful...
Knowing he had already told her too much, he murmured, "Go to sleep, Sakura," into her ear, impressing his magic onto her.
She closed her eyes, but not before giving him a death glare, a quiet warning that definitely, this conversation would continue.
.
.
don't leave me
.
He was avoiding her for her sake.
He was afraid of killing her, wasn't he? He didn't want things to go too far. He didn't want to hurt her, hiding behind a mask of arrogance and maintaining an unwanted distance.
Didn't he realize that she didn't care about that?
She just wanted him to look at her.
.
.
Sasuke-kun, please don't go
.
So now she must be scared shitless of him.
Well, good for her, he mused, since otherwise he probably would, at some point, take things too far. The bite hurt enough already, and he felt guilty every time he caught her flushed, pained expression as his fangs dug into her skin.
But underlying the guilt, there was a sadistic exhilaration that arose in his chest from witnessing her pain. It frightened him. The curse seal, the marker of Orochimaru's control over him, affected him deeply, even to the point of warping his personality. Sometimes cruelty felt almost more appealing than the little smile Sakura gave him as a thank you every time he held the door for her.
He just wanted her to be safe.
.
.
please, please, don't go
.
When she woke up, she didn't know where she was. She sat up, so quickly that her eyes blurred. After the dizziness faded away, she tried to get her bearings, and realized she had somehow gotten into Uchiha Sasuke's room for the second time. She reached up to touch her neck. There were no bite marks... her self-imposed mission, Get Uchiha Sasuke to Drink My Blood, had failed.
Like the last time she'd slept here, she looked at the ground to see Sasuke's head resting in his arms on the edge of the bed, his legs crossed beneath him.
But his eyes were open.
She jumped. "G-good morning," she greeted him warily. "Why are you looking at me like that?"
"You should probably go," he said, not answering her question.
She tensed. "You're pushing me away," she stated simply.
"Yes."
"Why?"
"Like I said last night, you are a hazard."
"You haven't explained why."
He rose to his feet, and pulled the girl up with him. He took hold of her wrist and began pulling her to the door. She didn't resist physically, but murmured as they approached the front door, "You should have just put me in my own bed, then, you bastard, instead of making me think you cared."
He dropped her wrist, and turned to her. "You," he said, dark eyes narrowed, "are annoying."
Then, abruptly, he swung the door open and pushed her out through it. "Go to school," he said simply, looking at some spot above her head, and slammed the door in her face. Sakura simply stood there, totally shocked, until a furious kind of fire flared inside of her. What the hell was his problem?
"Fuck you, Uchiha!" she screamed at the door, and kicked it for good measure. "I hate you, you goddamn bastard!"
Gritting her teeth, Sakura decided that today, for the first time since high school had started, she'd play hooky. To spite him. To spite everything. God, she knew missing school hadn't ever been an option for her before, but today, there was no way she could deal with people. Of any kind.
Damn him! She'd been hoping that maybe he'd accept her advance. Accept her invitation to bite her, with the idea that he would catch the underlying hint there. But instead, he'd pushed her away, the bastard.
She stormed away from the apartment building, whimsically heading downtown, her lips pressed together and her eyes narrowed into an unnatural expression of fury.
Of course you'd pull a move like that, bastard. Just when I was thinking that maybe, you could understand me, and that I could trust you.