Chapter 25: Home is not here
I was sitting with Kyrsten with Aria right now. She's a week old now. She's off of the machines, but she still has to stay for another day or two.
"Spence..." Aria said.
"Yea?"
"I don't think I can do this"
I looked at her like she was nuts.
"Do what?"
"Be a mom...i thought...i thought those maternal instincts were supposed to kick in by now. They haven't kicked in"
"They will..."
"No..I don't think so."
"Aria...do you blame yourself for her being like this?"
"Yea"
"Do you wish that you could some how take this pain from her even if you have to feel it yourself"
"Of course"
"Will you do anything at all to protect her"
"Yes"
"Then you have the instincts"
"It doesn't feel like it though..."
"It's going to be fine. You'll be fine. She'll be fine."
"You think i'll be a good mom"
"You are a good mom. You're here every single day, every single night. You hold her and comfort her. That's what a mom is"
"I just thought...it would be different. Like I would feel this connection"
"You will..."
I sat looking at Kyrsten as she was looking around. She has big brown eyes like Aria, but a pointed nose like Ezra. She was a good mix of both.
"She's so pretty" I said.
The doctor came in smiling.
"Good news?" Aria said.
"Yep, Kyrsten checks all out. She's breathing on her own, eating well and keeping everything down. I think she's ready to go home" he said.
"That's great!" Aria said.
"So tomorrow you can check her out" he said.
"Thank you so much" Aria said. She looked at me with tears in her eyes.
"See, that's the mommy in you" I said wiping them.
"Thank you Spence" she said hugging me.
She went and called Ezra to tell him the good news.
We've been back in Rosewood for a week now, and I haven't really talked to my parents. I've been focused on being here for Aria. But now that Kyrsten is going home, then we can.
"He's going to be coming up here" she said.
"I'll go then, I should get back with Toby and Meyson anyways...or if Hanna has her...Meyson is already losing more space in her closet" I said.
"when are you guys going to leave?" she asked.
"Probably Tuesday, so then Toby can get back to work"
"Oh..."
"You guys will be back down soon though for Meyson's birthday"
"Yea...it's still just hard though..."
"I know...it is for me too" I said kissing her on her cheek.
"I'll see you in a little bit" I said.
I walked out of the hospital and drove to my parent's house.
"Hey mom" I said.
"Hey have you eaten?"
"I had breakfast, i've been with Aria and the baby"
"Here" she said handing me a plate.
"Oh spencer, you're actually here" my dad came in with attitude.
That's weird.
"Yea, the baby's going to be able to come home tomorrow"
"You know what I like about Aria and Ezra" he said. Oh god...here we go...
"What dad?" I said.
"They're married, they got pregnant, but got married before the baby...not 'choose' to stay unmarried making their kids sins!" he said.
"You did not just call my kids sins!" I said.
"Guys...stop"
"No Veronica, let me speak my peace. My daughter, got pregnant in high school, strike one, she got back with the father and then moved states away, strike two, and then they say they don't want to get married and THEN she announces she's pregnant AGAIN and you're not even 20!"
"Exactly dad! I'm not 20 yet! Maybe I want to wait before marrige! Maybe I want to be able to drink at my wedding! Did you ever think that! I had kids young! That doesn't mean I want to be a young wife also! Although I already am! I'm like a young wife! I take care of our kid while hes at work, I cook dinner and breakfast for him, I clean the house, I do my school work! Please tell me the point of a marriage?"
"So that another kid won't be borned out of wed lock"
"What century do you live in dad!?"
"Guys...please" my mom tried again.
"I live in this one! Where people talk! You left Rosewood! You don't deal with the stares"
"That's exactly WHY I left Rosewood! By the way your treating me right now, your making me not want to come back" I said. That shut both of them up and looked at me stunned.
"We're going to leave tonight. Mom, if you want...we'll bring Meyson over so you can say goodbye" I said.
"Spence please..."
"No Mom...your husband has said enough. I see that he's back to his old self" I said and I walked out of the house.