Prompt: Dead Truth (#557)

The Bloody Baron

Or

The Deathday Party

In spite of the exhaustion she felt, Harley couldn't sleep. As the day wore on, fading to night with Harley hidden away in her dorm room, hoping Mina would distract her and pretending to go to sleep early so that she could avoid the rest of her dorm mates, Harley's mind refused to shut off. Refused to stop revisiting the time she spent back home with the man she loved and thinking about all that was said.

Even with the hole of worry being carved out of her stomach at the thought that the Chamber of Secrets might be open, that certain events were repeating themselves and wondering what one earth she should do... if she should warn them or if she even could, she couldn't bring herself to stop thinking of her-Severus.

He was alone and suffering. He was lost and broken. And it was all her fault.

She couldn't stop the thought, bouncing around in her head and for once, the guilt of what she'd done was too much as she wondered what Remus and Sirius might be going through.

Curled in on herself, feeling sick and exhausted, it was really more than she thought she could take and there were simply no more tears... it was as if they had built up and crystallized in her chest. And when she finally couldn't take it anymore- the pressure of it all suffocating her- she found herself slipping out of bed and out of the dorm and into the now empty and dark common room.

Harley didn't know what time it was, but as she sat in the Slytherin common room, she found she didn't really care. She couldn't care about something so insignificant as curfew and points.

She was dead... she was dead and gone and she'd hurt everyone she loved.

Had there been any other way?

Had she acted selfishly as well as merely thoughtlessly? Unfairly?

Curling tightly around her knees, hugging them to her chest, Harley pressed her forehead to her knees and tried to breathe.

She didn't belong here... in this world and the knowledge of that made her feel more alone then she had ever felt before.

She didn't know what the hell she was doing there... she thought she could take it and keep her sanity, but she wasn't sure how she was supposed to survive this kind of existence, where two worlds were constantly banging against each other and merging and diverging... sometimes she just thought that she was going to lose her mind if she let herself think about it all!

The only way she'd been able to make it in the last few months had been by focusing solely on the present. But after being home again, she didn't know how to do that.

She felt as if her heart and soul were being rent in two, and the pain of it was unlike anything she'd ever felt before... even finding out that her parents were gone and she would never know them... even more than finding out that the man she loved was in love with her mother...

Why did this happen to me? Harley wondered, wishing that she knew of just one person more whom this might have happened to, and how they dealt with all the memories in their head, and the pain of finding themselves trapped in a world where all the people who looked and acted like their loved ones didn't even know who you were- much less loved you.

What do you do with your own knowledge? Did you just ignore it? Harley wondered, even as she wondered how that was supposed to even be possible. And what about everyone that you leave behind?

As she continued to struggle to breathe, her tears stuck behind her lids in her panic, Harley felt herself startled when she felt icy-cold brush against her shoulder, passing through it so that she thought her nerves had frozen.

Jumping in fright and turning, she felt her heart slow as she realized that it was the Bloody Baron whose hand had passed through her shoulder in an attempt to get her attention.

He was standing before her, in his chains and robes soaked in patches of blood, staring down at her from a severely gaunt face, his blank eyes staring at her and searing through her.

"I cleared my throat, but I don't think you heard me," the ghost spoke, staring at her through his silvery and vaguely transparent eyes; his voice having an oddly haunting quality, smooth and cold as ice, but deep... so deep it sounded odd to her ears- as if the voice should come from a giant, instead of the thin mad before her who wasn't even six feet tall.

"You should be in bed," he continued coolly as he noted that he had her full attention and that she'd calmed.

For a while, Harley merely stared at the ghost of Slytherin, the mysterious ghost known for his startling temper. Even the Slytherins had always stayed away from him and as Harley dragged her eyes away from the blank stare of the Baron and stared down at the patches on his robes, she found herself wondering what that might be like- to survive so long after everyone you've ever known has been dead for centuries and if his predicament could in any way inform her own.

"Is it difficult? Going on after everyone you knew and might have cared about is long gone?" Harley asked, her voice sounding raw in her own ears that she hardly recognized it as her own. She might have even believed that the voice came from somewhere else, she felt it so foreign, but the stinging in her throat told her that yes, it was indeed her voice.

Harley wasn't sure if the Baron would reply or become angry as he stared at her with his large, blank eyes. She'd never before really given the Baron any thought, or cared to ask him anything.

It was strange, she found, sitting there under the severe gaze, how much the man- ghost- reminded her of Snape at that moment.

Though, Snape was taller and she couldn't picture him wearing anything quite so intricate and gaudy.

It was clear form his state of dress, that the Baron had a lot of money and by his bearing, that he once might have carried himself like a peacock. Harley wondered if it was simply the chains and the blood, that the blank stare of death in his eyes, which made him so severe and intimidating- she rather felt that if he were alive, she would pay him no more attention than she had to Draco Malfoy.

But no, she supposed the Baron was rather more dangerous and commanding than Draco Malfoy. After all, she couldn't see Draco Malfoy killing someone, even in a fit of rage.

"You're the dead girl," he said, as if for confirmation, but it didn't really sound like a question. Harley nodded her head, even as she winced and wondered if the ghost knew it instinctually or if he were simply privy to the information by Dumbledore or Snape.

The Baron seemed to decide then, even as he straightened further, that her insolence could be forgiven as he sighed.

"I cared for only one in my life, for I was quite alone in the world. And the one I cared for went to death before me, sent there by myself in a fit of rage. It is my remorse and guilt, along with my love and devotion, that kept me here and from passing on to that life which awaits beyond."

Harley looked away bitterly, glaring at nothing. Though she knew that the Baron was sharing with her something that he'd never before shared with people, she couldn't help feeling disappointed. Because if the Baron had only cared for one person, how could he know what it was like to have to live beyond a handful.

He didn't know what it was like to know that they were alive and hurting, but completely beyond your reach.

"I thought I was doing the right thing... it was the right thing. But I hurt everyone I loved... spat in their faces as if I'd just committed suicide," Harley spoke quietly, feeling herself racked with self-loathing, her heart feeling pierced while her eyes stung and her words were coated with bitterness. "And now I'm here! And everything is so much the same, but so different and there is no peace... only confusion and turmoil and it's worse than death! And I don't know how I'm supposed to go on or what I'm even doing here or why-"

"You are marked by death," the man spoke, startling her out of her tirade which had started to raise in volume. Harley turned to look at the Baron, whose eyes for once seemed filled with pity. "Your road will be difficult solely because it it is a road untraversed by any other known person, but life and death and love is difficult for all. But this is your fate and like all Slytherins, you know how to weather it all, learn to live with it all, to endure. You just need time and patience and to remember that though your road seems lonely, you are not wholly alone."

"But how do I go on... knowing I hurt them and lost them all?" she asked in a small, tearful voice that sounded so young to her ears that for the first time in years, she actually felt like a child.

"You are grieving, all who experience death do so. But death does not kill love. If you hurt them, but know they love you, then you must know that the will forgive you if it is even you they blame."

Harley hugged her knees tighter, absently nodding to the Baron. She knew that it was true, but it didn't relieve her of the ache she felt. She wasn't sure anything ever would.

She feared that it was simply another ache she would have to learn to live with.

TBC...

The Deathday Party - Write about a Ghost. Alternatively, write about Peeves.

Love-Fandom03- I'm glad that you enjoyed the chapter so much and thank you for the kind words. Honestly sometimes I wonder if I'm doing a good job keeping the characters recognizable as the same characters.

Sunsethill- Yes, Harley being who she is and being older than Harry is definitely more equipped to handle people talking about her. Especially growing up in Slytherin. I'm glad you enjoyed the conversation when Harley returned to the "canon" world. Though, I don't think Dumbledore has to do much meddling where Harry is concerned with Harley, the prejudice Harry has will take care of things by itself to an extent until he can finally, be totally rid of them. Severus on the other hand is a different matter. But he's good at self-sabotaging in my opinion.

GracefulWolvesInTheNight- Thank you so much for the review! I'm glad that you like the story quite so much and I'm glad to hear that though Harley is different, that there are still traits she has that make her similar to Harry and that it shows through. I wasn't certain if it was portrayed well.

eraedar- Thanks so much the review. Honestly, I'm still trying to figure out exactly what to do with the chamber and how close to canon I want to go, or if I want to deviate in a big way.

Thank you for all the reviews and faves and follows! And please remember to review!