A/N Hey guys I'm back! :) Previous chapter, we went down the lane of feels(I think)! Karin feels upset and abandoned! :'( This chapter, Hitsugaya awakens! What will he do? Happy reading guys! :3

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. Kubo Tite owns it all.

"... waking up,"

"What... do?"

"Ne... Oi... Ro,"

What were those noises? Who was talking to him?

Everything hurts.

Everything is burning.

He groaned softly, his eyelids creaking open painfully. An agonizing throb hit his head and he coughed, which worsened the pain even more.

"Don't... self, Tou..." someone muffled voice said to him, ringing loudly in his head.

But it sounded familiar. All too familiar...

"Ku..." he rasped out, slowly blinking his eyes. Blinding orange hair was the first thing he saw through his blurred vision. "Kuro...?"

The voices were getting sharper. "Yeah, it's me Toushiro," Ichigo said softly.

"Where... am I...?" He whispered hoarsely, wincing as his throat hurt.

"In the spare bedroom. You're going to be fine Toushiro. You just need some rest," the Substitute assured.

Hitsugaya's vision began to clear even more, and he found Ichigo's brown eyes staring at him. "What... happened...?" He choked, then burst into a coughing fit, his coughs rattling in his chest.

"Don't push yourself, Taicho," came Matsumoto's voice, and he saw his vice-captain beside Ichigo, watching him anxiously.

"What... happened...?" Hitsugaya repeated, more strongly this time.

"You walked through the rain, and got sick. You still are right now though. It's already been five days since you passed out," Ichigo replied.

"Five...? Rain...?" Hitsugaya echoed, his mind whirling in confusion. Then he remembered.

Karin betraying him. Lying to him. Only using him for her entertainment. Then the feeling of remorse and anger filled his heart once more. Hitsugaya looked away from the two beside him, staring out the window.

It was bright and sunny. Little clouds. A few sparrows flying through the sky.

He sighed softly, raising an arm up to his face, covering his eyes.

"Shiro-chan?" Hinamori's voice said, and he turned to see his childhood friend standing at the doorway.

"Shiro-chan! You're better now!" She cried and happily raced over to his side, hugging him tight. Hitsugaya grimaced, his eyes flickering to Ichigo, and saw the Substitute strangely looking at Hinamori with a sort of furious, disgusted expression. Even Matsumoto seemed disappointed, and looked like she wanted Hinamori to disappear.

"Something... the matter...?" He asked hoarsely, looking at his two conpanions. They gave each other a sideways glance and shook their heads.

"Taicho, just focus on getting better. We'll call the others," Matsumoto said, touching his arm lightly. Then she spun and walked out of the room.

She came back a few minutes later with the other Shinigami, but strangely Karin wasn't there. That's fine, Hitsugaya thought, firmly trying to stop that feeling of disappointment from getting to his head. She and I were never meant to be anyway. She's a human. I'm a Shinigami. We can't be together. And she doesn't even love me, so why does it matter?

But his mouth just moved on its own accord. "Where's Karin?"

A silence fell, with Rukia and Matsumoto exchanging meaningful looks at each other, Ichigo smiling slightly, and Hinamori looking like she could murder someone. They're so strange. Are they hiding something?

"Karin's... in her room. Taking a nap," Ichigo said with a shrug. Hitsugaya found that highly suspicious, but decided to shrug it off.

"Taicho... Are you really alright?" Kazuko asked worriedly. Hitsugaya nodded, then was reminded of something.

"Kazuko... About... the reports... Why did you lie... to me?" He asked, struggling to sit up. Everything grew tense at once.

"I..." the fourth-seat stammered, eyes darting around. "Uhm..." The ice captain raised an eyebrow.

Then a scratching was heard. Hitsugaya whipped his head around to face the window.

"Wait..." he paused, narrowing his eyes. Ichigo put a hand on his shoulder.

"Toushiro, you ought to stay back," the Substitute said, a frown on his face. He pressed his Substitute Shinigami Badge to his chest, popping out of his body.

"W-what are you doing?" Hitsugaya asked, uncertainly, as Matsumoto suddenly lifted him up like a child. "Put me down Matsumoto!" His vice-captain didn't answer, only moving to the back, while the others, already out of their gigai, moved to the front.

"What's happening..?" He whispered to Matsumoto, looking at her, eyes wide.

"Just wait Taicho," she answered mysteriously. Hitsugaya looked to the group, worried. Byakuya began unsheathing his Zanpakuto.

Ichigo moved forward and opened the window.

And three Unknowns jumped in, hissing and screeching.

"Scatter," Byakuya's indigo eyes glowed. "Senbonzakura,"

His blade scattered into petals, and began attacking the beasts. They screeched, lashing out. Ichigo blocked one, while Renji blocked another. The Kuchiki noble defeated one Unknown, leaving it bleeding and horribly wounded as he moved on to another.

But then one more showed up- through the wall. It ran towards Hitsugaya and Matsumoto, fangs bared. Hitsugaya couldn't move.

Damn it.

He squeezed his eyes shut, waiting for the blow to come. But it didn't.

He opened his eyes a crack. Then they widened.

"M-Matsumoto...?" He whispered, horrified to find his trusted, beloved vice-captain in front of him, defending him. The Unknown had sunk its teeth into her shoulder, and was struggling to move away, but Matsumoto had got it in an iron hold.

"T-Taicho... Are you... Ok?" She asked, giving a strained smile at him.

"What the hell are you doing?!" He demanded, anger surging through his veins. Not at Matsumoto for blocking the attack. But at himself, for being so weak.

Matsumoto just continued to smile as she grimaced, fighting back the pain.

Then there was a sudden scream as Hinamori was slashed, her blood spraying to the ground. Byakuya was having difficulty dealing with the Unknowns. Two more had come, and one was heading straight for Hitsugaya.

Matsumoto once again moved in front of her captain, and the Unknown bit her. She held on tightly, biting her lip at the pain.

"M-Matsumoto, stop it! You don't have to-" Hitsugaya started, getting anxious.

"You don't get it Taicho!" Matsumoto snapped, interrupting him.

"I'm doing this as your vice-captain," she whispered. "It's my duty to defend and watch your back, at all times,"

Hitsugaya's eyes widened. "Matsu..." his voice trailed off. Ichigo got stabbed at, yet was still trying to fight. So were the others, each sporting a wound of their own, except for Byakuya.

They're doing this to protect me.

Why?

I'm just a friend to them. A Captain.

Why are they going so far for me?

"Enough..." he whispered softly, trembling. Hot red fury roared inside him, building up, more and more. He dug his hand into his pocket for his soul candy.

The fighting still continued, raging on ferociously.

"Enough...!" He repeated, biting his lip. He popped his soul candy into his mouth, and came out of his gigai. Standing up, he clenched his fists. His haori swayed behind him as a gentle breeze carried into the room. Matsumoto was watching her captain with wide eyes, and so were the two Unknowns she grabbed.

Hitsugaya growled.

"I SAID, ENOUGH!" He roared, unsheathing his Zanpakuto.

"HYOURINMARU!" Stabbing his blade into the ground, the room instantly froze over, ice breaking through the walls and out of the windows and ceiling.

All actions ceased. Matsumoto quickly let go of the Unknowns, which were now frozen solid. The other Unknowns were frozen too.

Hitsugaya had defeated them all in a swoop, without harming the other Shinigami.

The ice captain breathed heavily, his vision blurring. Shit, I shouldn't have pushed myself. He swayed, the ice breaking, the Unknown disintegrating. Then, as he collapsed, he fell into someone's arms.

"You've done well, Taicho. Now just rest," Matsumoto whispered into his ear. He gave a slight nod as she pressed his head to her chest. Hitsugaya's eyes closed tiredly, and the claws of darkness took him back to their black depths once more.

"Kaa-chan, Kaa-chan, why are you crying? Kaa-chan?" A small, white-haired boy asked his mother as she sat at the dining table. The lady smiled at him, a little sadly.

"Kaa-chan?" The boy asked worriedly.

"Yes, my dear?" The lady replied, a little softly.

"Is it because of Tou-chan? Did he make you cry?" He said, looking up at his mother.

She shook her head, still keeping that forlorn smile on her face.

"It's nothing my dear. I'm just tired," she answered, cupping his cheeks in her palms.

"But..."

The image shifted.

A teenaged boy with white hair sat gloomily at the dining table.

"Kaa-chan, why is Tou-chan becoming more and more violent? It isn't helping me in my studies, or your work," he said, sighing. His mother blinked, her eye bags visible under her eyes.

"He's just frustrated sweetheart. His business isn't going too well, and that's why he's angry all the time," she explained softly. "Just try not to disappoint him in your studies or conduct,"

"But my conduct grade has always been excellent... And I'm always the top of the level for exams," the boy protested, miserably playing with his food. It had gone cold a long time ago, and he didn't feel like eating. "Tou-chan doesn't seem to be happy with me about anything anymore. Even if I made him a cake for his birthday, he wouldn't even eat a single slice."

His mother didn't say anything. She couldn't. There were no words she could say which would be able to lessen the depressed aura wafting about the house.

Again the image changed.

"T-Tou... chan...?" A slightly older teenaged boy with white hair stared at his father, who was kicking at his mother on the floor.

"You ungrateful bitch!" His father spat, grabbing a fistful of his mother's hair and yanking it. His mother didn't cry out. She just kept quiet.

"I feed you, and work hard to earn money while you stay at home! I buy you the things you want so that you can be happy! And now you want a divorce?!"

"Tou-chan, what are you doing?! Stop it!" The boy gasped, dropping his school bag and running to his father.

"Shut up you worthless child!" His father snapped, glaring at his son. The boy flinched under his father's baleful gaze, and lowered his head.

"This mother of yours wants to get divorced! After everything I've done for her! Can you believe that?!" His father scowled, kicking at his wife again. The boy felt rage rush through his veins and lunged at his father, shoving him away.

"Get away from Kaa-chan!"

His father looked shocked at first, then a furious look showed on his expression. "So now you want to leave too, huh, you brat? Now you're taking my hard work and effort in raising you to be the best for granted?!"

The boy froze, suddenly feeling frightened. "T-that's not it Tou-chan... I just..."

His father smirked and grabbed his son's arm. He dragged the boy to the kitchen, where he turned on the stove and watched as the flames flickered hungrily.

"You know, the best way to tame a disobedient, ungrateful brat like you is to beat obedience into you. That'll teach you to fight with me," his father smirked, and pushed the boy's hand forward, towards the flames.

"T-T-Tou-chan, w-what are you doing? S-stop it please! I-I'm sorry!" The boy begged, struggling to pull his hand back. But his father was strong, and very soon he could feel the overwhelming heat of the flames on his palm.

His father grabbed his chin, tilting it so that father and son could meet in the eye. "What's there to be afraid off, little Toshi? Where's the big, fearsome hero from just now?" His father grinned maliciously, a maniacal look on his face.

The boy began to panic, watching from the corner of his eye as his hand drew nearer and nearer to the licking fires. "T-Tou-chan please, I-I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" He pleaded. His father made no response.

Then with a mighty tug, he pushed the boy's hand onto the flames...

Hitsugaya screamed, jolting awake in cold sweat. He bolted upright, breathing hard. Instinctively he clutched at his hand, which was trembling violently.

People began barging into his room.

"Toushiro, what happened?! What is it?!" Ichigo demanded, hurrying to him. Hitsugaya stared at his shaking hand, images of horrible burns twisting their way up his palm flashing through his mind. He clenched it tightly, holding it to his chest.

"A nightmare," he whispered hoarsely, his voice soft and shaking. "I-It was just a nightmare," he repeated again, seemingly more to himself than to the others.

"It wasn't real. It isn't happening right now," he mumbled, squeezing his eyes shut.

"T-Taicho...?" Matsumoto asked, coming forward. His shoulders shook as he pulled his knees up, clenching his fist so hard until his nails dug into his skin.

"There's nothing to be afraid of. It was just a memory," Hitsugaya continued to whisper, oblivious to the people around him.

"Oi Toushiro, are you alright?" Ichigo asked, shaking the ice captain. Hitsugaya flinched, jerking away from the Substitute.

"I-I..." he stammered, clutching his own hand.

"Is there a problem with your hand?" Ichigo asked, narrowing his eyes. Hitsugaya shook his head.

"Nothing... I'm just... I... It was just a nightmare..." he murmured softly, looking away.

"What kind of nightmare?" Hinamori asked, intrigued. Hitsugaya flinched, but kept quiet. Occasionally he rubbed his palm, worried that burns really would appear.

"You're not going to say huh... Well ok then. You should really go back to sleep," Ichigo said, patting his shoulder. Hitsugaya nodded mutedly, not watching as the Shinigami went away. He was left in a defeaning silence, clenching his fist over and over.

Tou-chan... tortured me.

He remembered a few other things which his father did. Cutting, more burning, whipping... Hitsugaya shuddered, pulling his covers over his head.

He couldn't sleep. He wouldn't be able to sleep. The nightmare haunted him. He wondered why he hadn't had such a nightmare the previous night, which was the day the Unknowns attacked, then sighed.

Kaa-chan... he thought to himself, wishing his mother was here. Then he remembered someone who was similar to his mother.

Karin? Hitsugaya froze. No, I can't. She betrayed me. I can't trust her.

But images of his beautiful Karin immediately began flashing through his mind- Karin smiling, laughing, eating, teasing him, playing soccer with him. And the best of all, Karin blushing. Hitsugaya felt his face heat up and buried it in his pillow, clutching at the bed covers.

Stop thinking about her. She isn't my concern anymore. Stop liking her.

Still the images stayed in his head, getting clearer and sharper each moment. He pressed his head deeper into his pillow, trying to push down the furious blush creeping up his neck.

Had Karin's eyes always been so gorgeous? They were onyx, he knew, but he never noticed that there were swirls of indigo, dark blue and greyish blue in them, blending in perfectly.

Karin's body was the epitome of perfect: with her slim waist, full bosom, and smooth skin. Her bright eyes, sharp nose, and especially those lips of hers.

Hitsugaya thought back to the moment when he had kissed her, and touched his lips. He remembered the softness of her own lips against his. A sudden hunger burned inside him, and he bit his lip, clenching at his covers till his knuckles went white.

I can't- I have to- Hitsugaya took in a deep breath, trying to get rid of those seductive images of Karin from his head. But yet her full lips kept flashing in his head oh god bloody hell.

He wanted to kiss her again. He wanted to ravish her, touch her, hold her in his arms and keep her for himself.

It was frustrating.

Then he remembered what Sanjo Hishiri did to her, and a boiling anger surged through his body, sending every nerve jumping, every cell swelling, and it was all from rage.

Hinamori's 'evidence' came into his head and he scowled to himself.

Karin couldn't have been seducing me. She never acted like a pretty girl. She was always so confident, brilliant, and gorgeous to me, even though she would be nervous around me at times.

I WANT HER.

Hitsugaya paused and looked out the window. Moonlight streamed in, and he squinted, looking at the hundreds of stars dotting the sky. He sighed, slumping on his bed.

Now I sound overpossessive. Now I sound MANIC.

Shifting onto his side, he continued to stare at the large moon. It was a full moon, glowing softly.

A feeling of remorse swelled in his chest. I called her a whore. I'm sure she hates me. I'm sure she won't forgive me.

He closed his eyes, letting the sadness in his heart settle. A quiet murmur filled his head. I shouldn't have called her that. What was I thinking? I should've asked her... I should've just... He clenched his fists.

What's the use now? Karin hates me. She probably isn't coming out of her room because she doesn't want to see me.

And it's my fault too. I told her to leave me alone. I told her never to talk to me again, or even approach me.

Hitsugaya pressed a palm to his eye, sighing dejectedly. I'm such a fool. Stupid, stupid! If she ever liked me in some way, those feelings would be gone by now. She won't ever talk to me again.

She deserves someone better than me. She deserves to live happily. She didn't deserve to have so many horrible things happening to her.

Somehow, Hitsugaya managed to give a small, wry smile. And this is what I get for falling in love. I get so clingy. It's hilarious in a way.

Hitsugaya closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath. Maybe I should check on her. Just... For a while.

He opened the window and looked out, looking up. Slowly, he pulled himself out and grabbed a hold of the roof above, digging his fingers into the ridges. Pushing himself up, he sat there, the wind caressing his face, brushing his hair. He stared up at the moon for a moment, then sighed and crawled over to where Karin's room window was.

Fortunately, there was some footing there which he could stand on, so as carefully as he could, he climbed down to the small ledge. He stuck himself to the wall, grabbing hold of the edge of the roof with a hand.

Steady...

Hitsugaya shifted closer to the window, trying to peer past the glass. He strained his eyes, tilting his head in, then finally saw her, through a crack in her dark purple curtains.

Karin was sitting on the ground, leaning against her bed, and hugging her knees. Her shoulders were shaking with slight tremors, and every now and then they would sag, before trembling again. Hitsugaya couldn't help but feel his heart soften at her state. She looked so fragile.

Then he realised that she was holding something that looked like a photo. He tried to see what it was, but it was facing the other way so he couldn't. Karin suddenly raised her head and looked at the photo, her eyes tired, red and puffy.

Karin is crying? Hitsugaya wondered, shocked. Finally, he noticed how disheveled she looked, her hair not combed, her clothes wrinkled, her skin losing some of that colour it had before. A tray with used utensils and empty bowls sat near the door.

She didn't go out at all? Not even once? He realised, astonished. Why would she punish herself so badly?

Karin set the photo on the ground, then stared up at the ceiling, a distant look in her eyes. Hitsugaya peered at the contents of the photo, and his eyes widened.

It showed a photo of him. Just him. Staring at the camera with his back towards it, his head tilted back, and a small smile on his face. He recalled Matsumoto asking him to pose for a photo shoot earlier in the morning, with no questions asked even though it annoyed him, and he had posed in that same manner.

Why would Karin have that photo? Hitsugaya wondered, frowning. Could Matsumoto have taken it for her? If so, why?

Then Karin seemed to snap out of her daze, her eyes welling up once more, and she took the photo, looking at it. Tears rolled down her cheeks and splashed onto the picture of Hitsugaya, and she clutched it to her chest, curling up into a ball. Soft, muffled sobs reached Hitsugaya's ears.

He felt confused. Dazed. Why is she crying over my photo?

Why is she crying over me?

He looked up at the moon, a forlorn feeling settling in the pits of his chest. I don't deserve her tears. But why...?

Why does she look so sad?

Is it because of me? Because of what I said to her? If it's like that, why would she be upset?

I don't get anything anymore...

It was then he heard his name. He peered back into the room and saw Karin murmuring something. "Toushiro..." she mouthed to herself, followed by a few other words Hitsugaya couldn't hear.

The sound pained him. His chest thudded, aching in a strange way, and he clutched it, wondering why he was feeling such a thing. He saw her tears falling from her face, her expression one of heartbreak.

He looked away, unable to stand seeing such a agonizing sight. She's crying because of me, Hitsugaya thought, his heart splintering. I caused her tears to flow. It's my fault she looks so unkempt. So... fragile. Like she could break at any moment.

Guilt filled his chest and he slowly made his way back to his room. I'm the cause of all her pain. I just made everything worse for her.

She was probably raped against her will. But I didn't stop to consider that. I thought she was betraying me. I thought she used me. I thought... She never liked me as anything but a toy. Not even as a friend.

I'm an idiot. Hitsugaya covered his eyes, biting his lip, as he lay on his bed.

Why?

I love her, so why did I upset her? She doesn't deserve this. She deserves better.

Why did I call her a whore? Why did I say those words to her? Why...?

Regret and guilt swamped in his mind, blurring his vision, confusing his senses. He rolled onto his side, back facing the window. Pulling his covers up all the way, he lay on his bed, thinking. Berating himself for his stupid actions.

Why did I make her cry... When I never wanted to see her cry in the first place?

I wanted to protect her.

I wanted to be with her.

I wanted her to be happy with me...

Hitsugaya clenched his fist, and punched at the bed frame, gritting his teeth. Tears threatened to pour from his eyes. Slowly, he sank into a sleep plagued with dreams of Karin crying, hating him, cursing him, and worst of all dying. Because of him. Her tears kept replaying in his mind, falling down, down and down, deeper and deeper.

He kept hearing her screaming his name as she fell down a bottomless pit, and he couldn't even do anything to save her.

He was trapped in a little box he had made himself, to 'protect' himself from her.

Karin's continuous screams echoed in his mind, broken, distorted; filled with her pain which he had caused her. A single tear fell down his cheek as he slept on, struggling against the hellish nightmares.

I just... wanted her to love me too...

A/N ... In a way I cried writing this too... :( So there you have it guys... Hitsugaya's feelings towards Karin. I feel really bad doing this but still... The story must go on! Next chapter, Hitsugaya rages! Hinamori will be defeated at last! Thanks for reading guys! :')

Reviews help me work faster, so please review and tell me what you think about this story! Thanks guys! Hope you still like this story!