A/N: Betas really rock and I have the best ones in the world: Charmie77, acireamos, SSHG316 and SavageWoman. They support the mojo when it's fail, and act as muses when I need inspiration. I also want to thank my friend, Irritable Grizzzly, who has been a faithful reader of TLC for as long as I can remember. She is also an awesome beta and she lent me her twitchy red pen recently on a one-shot that I wrote in collaboration with SavageWoman for the Fun With Your Clothes on Contest. Please read, review and vote on the one-shots SavageWoman and I lost copious hours of sleep on this past weekend in order to meet the deadline at midnight Saturday Night.
More info on our one-shots: "Always and Forever" and "Twisted Bottle" below.
"We will grieve not, rather find strength in what remains behind. In the faith that looks through death, in years that bring the philosophic mind."
– John Bacon
"And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption." -- Ephesians 4:30
TLC - Chapter 24 - We Will Grieve Not
Bella stifled a giggle as Edward gave her parents instructions about her care. Having already given them the details of what he believed was going on in the investigation of her stalker, he was reluctantly leaving her in the impregnable fortress that was her parents' gated community until Wednesday. While her mom was regarding Edward like he was Christ incarnate, Charlie was barely able to suppress an epic eye roll.
"I changed her bandage before we left Destin, so you should be good on that until tomorrow," Edward said, channeling his inner Nurse Jackie. "The pain meds are one or two every four hours depending on the severity of her pain."
Charlie took the bag containing the bandages and prescription meds from Edward. "You know, we've nursed this child through everything from ear infections to stomach flu. I think we're good."
"Dad—" Bella implored.
"Honey," Renee interjected, "cut Edward some slack. I think it's sweet that he's been such an attentive caregiver."
"She probably wouldn't have needed a caregiver if more precautions had been taken with her safety." Charlie was like a hungry pit bull, and it didn't look like he planned to stop gnawing on that bone anytime soon.
"I think the emphasis should be placed on what a blessing it was that Rosalie and I came through the ordeal okay. Right, Dad?" Bella wanted to nix the blame-placing post haste.
Nevertheless, Edward was contrite. "I fully shoulder the blame for Bella getting hurt, Reverend Swan, and I don't intend to make the same mistake twice. I'm fast-tracking some reports through the DMV tomorrow so we can try to locate the car and hopefully discover the identity of the person who tried to run Bella and Rosalie off the road."
"I'm sure you're doing everything you can," Renee said with a smile as she elbowed a scowling Charlie. "Thank you for taking such good care of our Lovely." Bella cringed when her mother used her pet name in front of Edward.
"Absolutely. I wouldn't have it any other way," Edward said. He moved to the sofa where Bella was lounging, while Renee grabbed Charlie's arm and dragged him out of the room. At least her mother was sensitive enough to allow them a chance to say goodbye in private.
Edward sat down next to her and smiled, cupping her face gently with his hand. "Your dad is right. I got too careless in Destin, but never again."
Bella rolled her eyes. "Enough with the guilt and recrimination. I need you to give me a kiss that will hold me over until I see you again Wednesday."
He chuckled in spite of himself and pulled her gently onto his lap. "Leave it to you to have kissing on your mind in the midst of all that's going on."
"What else is there?" she teased.
Edward accommodated by laying the granddaddy of all kisses on her. This was the kiss to end all kisses, and it left her hot, bothered, and wanting more —as per usual. She wasn't sure whether she should be happy or sad that they were in her parent's home. Maybe a reprieve from all the sexual tension between them was in order. It was becoming increasingly difficult to rein in her desire where Edward was concerned.
"It's getting late," Edward said huskily. She could see the effect of the kiss on his face and felt it where she sat on his lap.
"I know," she said. "But I just hate to let you go."
"It'll be Wednesday before you know it."
"Not from where I'll be sitting." She threw her arms around his neck and entreated him, "Please come and see me after work tomorrow. We can have a late dinner. Dad is going to drive me mad here alone with him all day tomorrow while Mom's at work. I'll need you to rescue me at least for a few hours."
He smiled and kissed her temple. "I'll be here as soon as I'm off," he promised.
~888~
Edward had been gone fifteen minutes, and Bella was still lounging on the couch flipping through channels on the television when Renee came back into the den to join her. She settled in an armchair with a copy of Law Review, her reading glasses perched daintily on her nose. Bella flipped the remote one final time and settled on A&E.
"Despite that other unpleasantness, how was Destin?" Renee asked, peeking over the top of her reading glasses.
Bella smiled. "Destin was great. The weather was fabulous, the beach was divine, we played a lot of cards and games, and Rosalie and I spent some time at a wedding boutique. After the incident, we had a little party for Edward's birthday. Even though Edward, Emmett, and Rosalie remained armed and on high alert the rest of the weekend, we managed to have quite a lot of fun." Bella smiled even bigger when she recalled all the other ways they had fun. She didn't exactly want to share that with her mother.
"Well, I for one am thankful that you have gun-wielding friends on this side of the law."
"Thank you. I just wish Dad had your attitude. Every time Edward's around him, Dad gets surly and combative. What's up with that?"
"Your dad has to have something to knock Edward about. Charlie's been effectively replaced in your eyes, and he doesn't like it."
"Mom, doesn't he know I'll always love him, no matter what?"
"Yes, but you have someone now who challenges his place in your heart like never before. Charlie still sees you as his little girl, and it doesn't sit well with him yet to know that someone else eclipses him in your life."
"Oh, wow. I guess I never thought about that. I'll make an extra effort to spend some quality time with him tomorrow while he's babysitting me," Bella said with a smirk. "I was beginning to think I was going to have to ask Edward to stop going to the Wednesday night Bible studies, because Dad really made him kind of uncomfortable."
"Now, that's going just a wee bit too far. I'll have to speak to your father and get him to see reason." Renee was wearing her "no bullshit" lawyer's face, and Bella felt a tad bit sorry for what her Dad would be facing before he retired tonight. "Besides, I won't have him scaring away the first real chance I have of getting myself a real honest to goodness son-in-law."
Bella giggled. "There you go again with that."
"Hey, a mama's gotta dream."
"Where is Dad, by the way?"
"He went to the hospital to visit a couple of church members. Mrs. Lawson has pneumonia, and the Todds had a baby boy. He should be back in about an hour." Renee glanced at the television and recognized the movie that was coming on. "Ooh, Lovely, have you ever seen this movie?"
"I don't know. What is it?"
"Splendor in the Grass—an Elia Kazan classic."
"Like in the William Wordsworth poem, right?"
"Yes, Deanie, the lead female played by Natalie Wood, recites the poem in class. It is the story of young love, sexual repression, and ultimate heartbreak," Renee said, her eyes shining with excitement.
"And you like this movie, because...?" Bella couldn't help but look at her mother as if she had lost her mind.
"In a lot of ways, it reminds me of some things that your father and I struggled through when we were younger. Just watch it with me. You might find it resonating with you too, now that you and Edward are... dating exclusively." Renee did the little air quotes with her fingers.
"Oh, Mom, we've moved past that and into the serious relationship stage."
"With 'I love yous' and everything?" Renee was incredulous.
Bella was grinning and nodding profusely when her mother left her armchair, joined her daughter on the couch, and enveloped her in her arms. "I'm so happy for you, Lovely," Renee said as she held her daughter's arms and beamed at her. "So, when did this happen? Over the weekend?"
"No, actually it happened a few weeks ago," Bella said, smiling sheepishly. Usually she shared everything with her mother.
"And you just thought to tell me?" Renee looked wounded.
"I was kind of afraid to tell you, because I know how Dad feels about Edward, and what you know, he knows. I didn't want you and Dad to think things were moving too quickly."
"Do you think that?"
"No," Bella said without hesitation and with confidence. "I love Edward very much, Mom, and he loves me, too."
Renee smiled widely then, her momentary disappointment forgotten. "I have been praying for this since you were thirteen. I need to get to know your Edward, so I can give him my final stamp of approval."
"Good, I invited him to dinner tomorrow night, but we have to hold dinner until 7:30. Is that okay?"
"Absolutely," Renee said, noticing the opening credits were done. "Hey, you might really want to pay attention to this movie now, Lovely. You might just come away with a lesson from it." Bella didn't know then why her mother was so cryptic about it. She scooted closer to her mother, and they settled on the couch to watch the movie.
Natalie Wood was the actress who played Deanie Loomis, a small-town girl living in Kansas in 1928, and she reminded Bella a lot of herself. The sexual chemistry between Deanie and her super-hot boyfriend, Bud Stamper who was played by Warren Beatty, reminded Bella of what she was experiencing with Edward at the moment. Time and again, the make out scenes with Deanie and Bud built until they were both so sexually frustrated, they were at a breaking point. Deanie's mother repeatedly advised her to resist her desire to have sex with Bud, because it was a societal taboo and "good" girls waited until marriage. Bud came from the most affluent family in town, and his father admonished him not to have sex with Deanie because he didn't want Bud to marry her if he got her "in trouble." Bud's father convinced him to find another kind of girl to fool around with. Bella likened this to the way Edward's father had encouraged him to sow his wild oats when he was younger.
Charlie came back home in the middle of the movie, and when he saw what they were watching, he mumbled something about not wanting to watch a chick flick, classic or not, before disappearing into his study.
Bella, now lying down on the couch with her head in her mother's lap, continued watching the movie. Edward rang her on her cell phone, but she let it go to voicemail. She texted him that she would call him right after she finished the movie with her mother as she became engrossed again in Deanie and Bud's story.
Bud followed his father's advice and sought out a girl who had a reputation of promiscuity, and when Deanie found out, she tried to emulate this new girl in Bud's life because she felt like he was rejecting her for not putting out. Bud insisted that she was a good girl and that she shouldn't be encouraging him or any other guy to see her any differently.
Deanie was so madly in love with Bud and wanted him so desperately, that she had a nervous breakdown and was institutionalized. In the final scene, Deanie returned home from the asylum after two and a half years, where she had met a fellow patient, a fledgling medical student who had asked for her hand in marriage. Deanie couldn't accept his proposal until she found closure with Bud. She went to meet Bud and found that he was married, had an infant child, and was expecting another one. Deanie and Bud realized then that they were truly over and would have to live their lives apart. As the ending credits rolled, Deanie recited the words from the Wordsworth Poem, Ode 536: Intimations of Immortality from Recollections of Early Childhood.
What though the radiance which was once so bright
Be now forever taken from my sight,
Though nothing can bring back the hour
Of splendour in the grass, of glory in the flower;
We will grieve not, rather find
Strength in what remains behind.
Both of them blubbering, like idiots, Bella and Renee shared an embrace as Bella clicked the television off.
"Mom, that was unbelievably sad. Why is it again that you love this movie?" Bella asked, taking the tissue her mother offered her and wiped her eyes.
Renee sighed heavily, patting her own eyes with a tissue. "It reminds me of how your dad and I were when we were young."
"Eww, do I really want to hear this?"
"I know it's probably inconceivable to you, but your father and I were young and in love once, and we fell prey to temptation just like any other young couple in love."
"Dad's always been so orthodox in his beliefs and very, very faithful. I just can't imagine you two struggling like that."
Renee looked thoughtfully at her daughter. "We might be middle-aged and settled now, but believe me, your father and I have been right where you and Edward are now. And don't try to tell me that you don't desire him in that way."
"Not gonna lie, Mom. Sometimes I just look at him and I... never mind," Bella said, her face turning beet red. "Remember how you told me what is was like when you met Daddy and you knew that day there was something special about him?"
"Yes…" Her mom was tentative.
Bella nervously swiveled her commitment ring. "That was what it was like when I met Edward, and it's only gotten stronger since then. Our chemistry is off the charts."
"So, is this your way of diplomatically telling me you've outgrown your commitment ring?"
"In my mind, I am still committed to waiting for marriage to have sex, but my heart and body have other ideas. It is excruciating sometimes to be near him when all I want to do is show him how much I love him. When Edward walked into the Center a few months ago, he sent my world spinning on another axis, and I don't think it's ever shifting back."
Her mom was thoughtful. "He is charming, handsome, and very mature for a man on the south side of thirty. Are you sure it isn't just hormones on overdrive, baby?"
"Mom, I've experienced that before, but this is so much more. This is like, when I'm around him, I feel like I've come home. And when I'm away from him, I ache to be with him all the time. He is smart, committed to his work, and extremely capable. He's been in the Marines, has a criminology degree from Indiana State University, and is very cultured. I love that he is an accomplished musician and that he even challenges me intellectually. He is kind to the children and compassionate to the residents at the Center. He makes me feel special and so safe when I'm around him, it's almost like he can do anything. Edward reminds me of Dad and how he commands respect, because he gives it so freely when it's earned."
"Sounds like my baby really is in love," Renee said as if in awe.
"How can this be reconciled, Mom? I don't want us to end up like Deanie and Bud."
"I'd like to think that you and Edward are made of much stronger stuff than Deanie and Bud, Lovely. You are not the first young woman to struggle with sexual desire, and you won't be the last. Of course, it might be easier if both you and Edward were fully on board with your commitment."
"Edward has been unbelievably patient and willing to do as much or as little as I'm comfortable with. But I am so in love with him, every time I'm in his arms I just want to give in. I want to be his in every sense of the word." Tears began to flow and her body shook with sobs.
Renee's heart ached for her daughter, and she gathered Bella into her arms and held her until she quieted.
"Ultimately, it's yours and Edward's decision whether you stay the course or not, Lovely. I don't mean to be cliché here or give you half-platitudes from Scripture to guilt you into doing what I think you should do, but I think you need to pray, examine your own heart, and realize it won't be easy. Even Christian couples have temptations and trials. I don't have any pat answers for you, but I do know that if you honor your commitment, you won't regret it. Sometimes when we go against what we've purposed in our hearts to do, the corresponding guilt that we have to live with each and every day is not worth the momentary pleasure."
Bella wanted to ask her mother a very obvious question, but she decided to go with a less intrusive one. "Sounds like you might have had first-hand knowledge of my dilemma, Mom?"
Tears glistened in Renee's eyes. "Yes, and while your father and I obviously didn't go the way of Deanie and Bud in the end, we experienced our fair share of heartbreak in our marriage relationship early on due to decisions we made while dating that we later regretted. Your father still believes, and rather erroneously I might add, that the problems we had conceiving before you were born were somehow connected to our youthful indiscretions."
Bella was saddened. She had no idea that her parents struggles had so closely resembled her own. "Oh, Mom, what an awful thing for Dad to shoulder such a burden. You know, when I was little and he read me 'Pilgrim's Progress,' I always felt like he identified very closely with the Pilgrim. Now I know why."
"Your father's grief is the burden that he carries in some form even to this day. He is much like David was in his contrition after he sinned with Bathsheba. And as you know, the loss of their child was just the beginning of his troubles. Well, I'm going to go to bed, unless you want to talk some more."
"No, Mom. You go on up. I'll be up soon."
As her mother ascended the stairs, Bella grabbed a Bible on the table beside the couch and began to read. She opened it to read in Solomon's Song of Songs. How appropriate considering her and Edward's struggles:
Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth—
for your love is more delightful than wine.
Even the Scriptures seemed to be in collusion against them. This was exactly what she wanted Edward to do all the time. Where were the words that told her how to avoid doing this? Who was she kidding? They were there; all she had to do was go to those passages that she had grown up reading. They would admonish her to shun the very appearance of evil, resist temptation, and do good. They would advise her to not give in to lust of the flesh, the chief one being the crux of the seventh commandment, not to succumb to sexual immorality outside the sanctity of marriage—meaning no fornication or adultery. Her parents had taught her that a person of faith didn't just do these things because they were commanded. She had learned that, as a woman of faith, she chose to follow the commandment because of her love for God, not a compulsion to follow the law.
Reading on, she realized that even Solomon seemed to glory in the physical relationship he had with his beloved. And to be perfectly honest, Solomon had been chosen by God as a very young man to rule, but his excesses in the boudoir left a lot to be desired. Come on now, this man had more than 700 wives and 300 concubines, or some such nonsense. And his writings had still made it into Bible canon. Proof, one could suppose, that even though he had sinned and gone against what God intended regarding monogamy in his own personal life, much of what he'd believed, the nature of true love in the physical and the spiritual realm, had withstood the test of time.
Pleasing is the fragrance of your perfumes;
your name is like perfume poured out.
No wonder the maidens love you!
Take me away with you—let us hurry!
Let the king bring me into his chambers.
Bella got on her knees in front of the couch and prayed harder than she had prayed in a very long time.
~888~
Edward got the biggest mug of black coffee he could find when he arrived at the precinct on Monday morning. He'd had one cup before he left home, but he had a feeling that he would need a couple more refills before the day was done.
Bella had called him back as promised, and while he had been excited to talk to her, he'd been concerned that she needed her rest. His repeated attempts to get her off the phone had been unsuccessful.
They talked about this movie she'd seen with her mother, and he'd done absolutely everything he could to convince her that while art did imitate life and all that, it was Hollywood and they were real people. Regardless, she was worked up into frenzy about them becoming like "Deanie and Bud." He'd wanted to laugh when she suggested it, but she'd been so emotional about it, he'd opted to listen patiently to all her concerns and done everything he could to calm her down. He smiled, remembering part of their exchange.
"Are you sure you're not going to begin to hate me for the sex thing,baby?" she asked anxiously. "I know I push you so much, and I probably really need to stop doing that."
He'd responded immediately. "Bella, I'm not going to hate you for anything. I came into this relationship with my eyes wide open, and you were open and honest about your faith commitment. I am not going to die if we don't have sex right now." Although his balls might get so purple from time to time that he might wish he were dead.
"I just love you so much, Edward, and I would hate myself if I drove you into the arms of some promiscuous skank ho, like Deanie did Bud. Well actually, his father advised him to find another girl because Deanie was a nice girl." He thought he heard a sniffle.
"Baby, I love you, too, but when did you last take your pain meds, and how many did you take?"
"I took them about an hour ago. I took two because my head was hurting really bad when I came upstairs after watching the movie with Mom and praying about our situation."
He stifled a chuckle. No wonder she was so emotional and loopy. He should have asked her that question as soon as she got on the phone and began the tirade about them not being Deanie and Bud. While in Destin, he had noted that she was particularly wired and prone to wide mood swings when she took two of the pills as opposed to one.
"Listen to me, baby," he soothed. "We don't have a situation that warrants you having to work yourself up in fervent prayer over. I am not complaining. I will always only do whatever is comfortable for you and whatever you can do that won't make you feel guilty about compromising your faith."
"That's just it, baby. I'm not even sure what that is anymore. It's like I told my Mom, in my heart and physically, I want to do everything with you, but in my head, I know I can't. And the more things we do, the harder it is for me to differentiate between what is permissible and what is acceptable."
He panicked a bit about the candidness she had with her mother about their sex life. He'd never been in this situation. "You actually told Renee that? What if she tells the Reverend? He'll really put me on the spot in Bible Study. He already looks at me sideways every time he talks about sin and sexual immorality."
"Yeah, I've always been able to talk to my mother like that. I mean, I don't share details with her like I'm talking to a girlfriend or anything. Don't worry, my mother is cool. She knows what my dad can handle, so she won't say anything to him about that. And speaking of Bible Study, he won't be harassing you anymore once my mom is through with him."
"All of that is good to know. But I can handle a little passive-aggressive behavior from the Pastor."
"But you really shouldn't have to. I promise you, it will be better. But if it's any consolation, my dad really likes you—if he didn't, he wouldn't bother razzing you so much."
"I'll remember that when he has me reading Romans Chapter 1 aloud again." He couldn't believe he was going to say what else he was about to say, because it would definitely mean more cold showers and taking matters into his own hands. But he loved Bella too much to have her stressing over their physical relationship and its emotional repercussions. He knew he should have discouraged that hand job, especially while she was impaired with pain meds. "Bella, maybe we should ratchet back a bit on the make-out sessions. I have much more information to work with now that I've been interacting with some of the men at church, and I do not want to be the reason you break the vow that you made long before I came into the picture. I'd much rather help you achieve your goal than be the one who makes you abandon it."
"You would do that for me?"
"There is nothing I wouldn't do for you. Don't you know that yet?"
"I had some idea, but I love hearing you say it, anyway."
They'd had another half hour of calm conversation before he finally convinced her to hang up. By then she'd been yawning and slurring her words. He had been so tired himself after their long day that he'd fallen asleep almost as soon as his head hit the pillow. Now, as he maneuvered through the precinct office toward his shared cubicle, he realized it hadn't been enough sleep, and he was dog-tired.
Edward found an email from Emmett waiting for him when he logged onto his email account. There was also an attachment containing the report forwarded to them by Officer Patton from the Okaloosa County Sheriff's department. He printed the report to read later while he made his rounds at the Center. Before logging off, he sent a query to the DMV, providing as much information as he could from Rosalie's description of the car that had tried to run her off the road. He wasn't sure how much priority they would give the report, but he hoped he would get an answer soon.
Edward made some extra passes on the street where Laurent Beauvoir was allegedly living with his aunt. His car was never there. Edward had called Reverend Swan and given him a description of the car and the first two letters from the license plates. While he wasn't inviting him for coffee, Reverend Swan was considerably more civil than he'd been during their previous interactions. Renee must have laid down the law. Edward enjoyed the idea a little too much that the Rev had been read the riot act by his wife.
In Bella's absence, Alice and Maria took care of everything at the Center; between them, everything went smoothly. Maria introduced Edward to Demetri, the other new volunteer, and Edward found that he'd gone to school with Bella at Fairview, just like Laurent.
"Say, Demetri," Edward said when Alice and Maria were out of earshot, "did you know Laurent Beauvoir back then?"
"Yeah, he was a scruffy little Haitian kid who was in our class at Fairview. He also went to church with us sporadically. I remember he had a big crush on Bella back in the day." With his final words, Demetri raised one eyebrow suggestively in anticipation of getting a reaction out of Edward. But Edward was too secure in what he had with Bella to give that bit of old news any serious thought, let alone a reaction.
"He indicated that he lived with his aunt here on the property when I found him driving around over here a few weeks ago. Was this where he lived with his mother when you guys were in school together?"
Demetri scratched his head absentmindedly, appearing deep in thought about the question Edward posed. "If I remember correctly, they were in a little house right around here, somewhere off Texas Street, I believe. They weren't in the apartment community proper. Why do you ask, man?"
"He tried to manhandle Bella at the End-of-School-Year Festival on Memorial Day, and we have reason to believe he might have been following her, maybe even before then. Just this weekend, someone followed us to Destin and tried to run Bella and our friend, Rosalie, off the road."
"Damn, sounds like the guy's serious, then. Hey, I can keep an eye out. Make sure he's not lurking around here when I'm around."
"Great, man. Thanks. I'll bring a current mug shot of him by so you can see what he looks like now. Just send me our decided upon 911 text alert, and I'll make my way back over here from wherever I am on the property."
"So glad to be of help."
Edward was grateful to have another guy on the property to assist in keeping Bella safe. "Thanks for looking out, man."
He shook Demetri's hand and continued on his patrols. Because nothing out of the ordinary transpired during the day, he had several opportunities to look over Officer Patton's report. Most of the eyewitnesses interviewed in conjunction with the incident told the same or similar stories as Rosalie. And in every case, things had happened so fast, no one was able to remember many details. One witness thought the man was Caucasian, but most agreed with Rosalie that the person was so covered it was difficult to determine ethnicity.
Before long, it was the end of his work day. He showered in the men's bathroom at the Center, changed clothes, locked up, and headed out to see Bella. When he pulled up in the circular drive, Angela was getting out of her car, too, so he waited for her.
"Hey, Edward," she said with a smile. "Fancy seeing you here."
He grinned back. "Oh yeah, I'm persona non grata to Papa Swan right now, but I'm working it."
"Pssh," she said exasperatedly. "Papa Swan is really just a big teddy bear. You'll win him over in no time."
"If you say so."
Angela's face took on a worried expression, and she stopped him before they got to the steps. "Have you got a sec?"
"Sure, what's up?"
"Promise me you won't get mad and rat me out to my sister? Because there's something you need to know. I couldn't get you alone long enough to tell you over the weekend, especially after the accident happened. I talked to Ben about it last night, and he said if it involved me that he would want Bella to tell him."
Edward was curious, but he could feel his anger amping even though she hadn't told him anything yet. He took a deep breath and waited for her to continue, not promising a goddamn thing.
"The last time I was at Bella's apartment—I think you came over later that night—I saw James Hall sitting in his car in the parking lot out front, talking on his cell phone."
Edward turned and took two steps back toward his car. He only turned back to look at Angela when she screamed to him, "Wait, Edward! Where are you going?"
"To find out why the fuck James is doing that creeper stalking shit you just told me about." Angela flinched at the epithets. Edward realized he was probably scaring the hell out of her, so he breathed deeply again and continued toward his car.
"You can't go now," she said calmly. "Bella and her parents are expecting you."
He breathed in and out a couple more times and started his anger management techniques in his head. After a few seconds, he felt reasonably okay and moved silently with Angela toward the door. If he said another word at the moment, he thought he might blow a gasket or some shit. He needed to get a grip—and fast. Bella was in a delicate state, and he didn't want to upset her right now. He needed some answers as to why James was hanging out around her, but more importantly, he needed to know why she didn't feel he needed to know about it.
Angela tentatively touched his arm when they reached the door. "Are you sure you're all right?"
"Yeah," he said raggedly and plastered the largest fake smile he could muster on his face. "As right as rain."
Angela must have believed him because she rang the doorbell.
Charlie answered the door. And to be honest, Edward was glad Angela was with him because he was in no mood to do the usual passive-aggressive, non-verbal sparring with the Reverend. Angela threw herself in Charlie's arms while Edward said a terse hello and made a beeline for the family room where Bella was sitting on the sofa holding a book. She smiled in anticipation of seeing him, and he tried, he really tried to smile with the same enthusiasm, but knew he failed miserably. She was no fool—even when he bent to kiss her on the cheek, he knew she was reading him. Her smile faded as she regarded him warily from her perch on the sofa. Charlie and Angela went through the dining room and into the kitchen, bantering noisily on the way.
"Something's wrong," Bella said simply.
~888~
Okay, so in the words of SavageWoman when she read this chapter: "The religion is coming back into play, Bella is questioning her commitment, Edward is ready to kill someone, Charlie's being an ass, and Renee is shining in her role as the cool mom." Love it or hate it?
We do plan to continue the one-shots, "Always and Forever" and "Twisted Bottle" but can't do so until the contest is over:
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