Total Drama Chris
Chapter 25: Day 12: Part 2: Lethally Blonde
"And we're back to Total Drama Chris!" Chris proclaimed, sitting in his seat in a small room at the Playa' des Losers, watching the other contestants. "When we left off--"
"Seven seconds ago," Izzy added, with her voice echoing through the air duct."
"They didn't know that!" Chris whined, pointing to the viewing audience.
"You could've waiting until I was out of earshot, you know," Izzy said, still echoing.
Chris grumbled before continuing. "Anyway, the campers all think that I'm dead. I know it's really hard on them, since they all loved me so--"
"Now that's a funny joke!" Izzy exclaimed. "Joke, joke, joke… I love this echo thing! Hi Noah! I can see you changing! Hey, no throwing things at the air duct!"
Chris scratched his head before continuing. "The campers have to figure out who killed me in order to win invincibility for their team. Of course, the killer herself, or maybe himself, doesn't even know she or he did it. Ought to be good!"
"Anything pointing to Leshawna," Trent said, as he, Harold, and Cody were searching the beach.
"Could've been someone else," Harold said. "For all we know, it was Lindsay."
"Dude, would you stop that?" Cody asked, annoyed. "Really, what did Lindsay ever do to you?"
"What did Leshawna ever do to you?" Harold retorted.
"Um, the whole framing Heather for plastering Gwen's diary all over the campground to an international audience?" Cody asked, irritated. "So what did Lindsay ever do to you?"
"We might understand," Trent said. "But seriously, just ragging on her is getting kind of old."
Harold sighed. "Fine. Now, brace yourselves, because I am about to blow your mind."
"I think we can handle it," Trent said.
"Don't say I didn't warn you, because this may come as a huge shock, but I wasn't always the stud you see before you today."
"I can believe that," Trent said, smirking. "You kind of make Cody look cool by comparison."
"Hey!" Cody shouted.
Harold grumbled before continuing. "Anyway, I really liked this girl named Autumn. She was the most beautiful girl in the school, and beloved by all. She wasn't smart, but she always seemed so nice to everyone."
"Kind of like Lindsay," Cody said, smiling.
"Exactly," Harold stated, with venom in his voice, and started crying. "Kind of like Lindsay. I asked her out on a date and she said yes."
"Bad break-up?" Trent asked.
"Can I finish?" Harold asked, annoyed. "But yes, a bad break-up. She lied about her own mother dying just to leave the date early, and wound up siccing the entire student body on me because of one date she felt was bad! And I was used to bullies picking on me because they were jealous, but this was out of control, for weeks on end before everyone forgot about it!"
"That sounds more like something Heather would do, actually," Trent said, concerned.
"Heather's changed," Harold said, irritated. "Heather's trying her best to better herself, and most of you haven't given her a chance."
"You're not giving Lindsay a chance, either," Cody said. "Lindsay is not Autumn."
"Lindsay is the exact same person she was last year," Harold said, angry. "The same stupid useless blonde bimbo!"
"Lindsay's changed," Cody said, worried.
"What? She's still stupid, she still does that 'pretending to be nice' crap… she's the exact same!"
"When has she just pretended being nice?" Trent asked, irritated.
"She is nice, and she seems to have become more compassionate this season, even," Cody said. "I still don't really get why she tried warming up to Courtney in the first place this season. I'd just kind of imagined that Courtney would've just yelled at her if she tried, or something. Really, Lindsay isn't this Autumn chick. They're not the same, and you really need to quit being so stupid about that!"
"Really, just lay off Lindsay," Trent said.
"Fine," Harold said, irritated, then picked up an envelope from the ground. "I found something, guys!"
"What is it?" Trent asked.
Harold opened the envelope and pulled out the sheet of paper inside. "All it says is first."
"First?" Trent asked. "What does that mean?"
"That whoever killed Chris has something to do with first?" Cody asked confused. "Maybe it's the order we were voted off? Ezekiel was the first one voted off, wasn't he?"
"Isn't Ezekiel dead?" Trent asked, confused.
"Or just in hiding. We don't know anything about where Ezekiel is, or how he's holding up now."
"Or it might be the first one voted off this season," Harold said. "That was Geoff, right?"
"You think Geoff might have come back to the island to take revenge?" Trent asked, worried. "I never knew he had it in him. Or maybe it's the first person to come in fifth place."
"Yeah, you're stretching a bit much just to pin it on Leshawna, aren't you?" Cody asked. "I mean, I'm not exactly a fan of the girl, but that theory is a little out there."
"Or maybe it's the first person to win," Harold said. "Owen won. Could it be him?"
"I kind of have trouble seeing Owen killing anyone," Cody said, shrugging. "Just can't see it."
"Might just be what he wants us to think," Harold said, shifting his eyes. "For all we know, he's secretly a cannibal!"
Cody thought about it for a moment. "On second thought, that theory isn't as far out there as I might've thought."
"Really, Owen couldn't hurt a fly," Trent said.
"Unless he was bribed with food," Cody said. "If he voted off his girlfriend for cake, you can't really count him out."
"Even so, if someone bribed Owen with food to kill Chris, who did the bribing?" Trent asked, and thought about it for a few seconds. "Leshawna I bet."
Confession Outhouse
Trent: I can't believe Leshawna would kill Gwen like that! I mean, if she was willing to do in Chris, who knows which of her enemies she might target next!
Cody: I think Trent's a bit too fixated on blaming Leshawna, and Harold's a bit too fixated on blaming Lindsay. Even after that story, I still don't really get what Harold has against Lindsay, really.
Ezekiel had waken up, and pulled a little dart from his neck, and realized he was someplace dark. He shortly also noticed that Izzy was watching, and sitting in a small chair across the room, in dominatrix gear. "Whoot happened, eh?"
"Oh, it's for a challenge!" Izzy exclaimed, jumping from her seat. "You get to be dead!" Ezekiel started looking nervous. "Oh, you're not really dead. It's just pretend! Everyone else just needs to think you're dead. I've had to play dead before. I've gotten the RCMP off my back before by faking my own death, even finding a real dead body that looked just like me. Of course, they have my DNA now, so that trick wouldn't work again."
"OK," Ezekiel said, confused, holding his head. "What are you doing, thoogh?"
"Oh, I'm helping with this one," Izzy said, beaming. "What can I say? I'm a sucker for death, and murder, and… well, I think Chris could've done a better job with the challenge, but it's not too shabby for a beginner."
"Chris is a beginner?" Ezekiel asked.
"Well, to the whole murder thing, yeah," Izzy said matter-of-factly. "He's more of an involuntary manslaughter kind of guy. Just doesn't do him a lot of good to flat out kill his contestants and all. Then he'd have to like find new ones and junk. Easier if we stay alive, but if we happen to die, no big deal."
"I think it's a pretty big deal, eh?" Ezekiel said, worried.
"Don't worry," Izzy said, shaking her head. "This challenge is perfectly safe. I mean, unless everyone just starts killing each other out of fear. Which would be kind of cool, really."
"Cool?" Ezekiel asked, scratching his head.
"You know, fun to watch the carnage. I mean, it wouldn't be good, but it would be like a train wreck. Hard not to watch it. I don't think that'll happen, though. And I don't really want my friends to die, either. Well, except maybe Leshawna, but she's not my friend. Though I don't really want her to die, either? I think I'm going soft."
"Doon't worry, you are soft, eh?" Ezekiel said, smiling.
"I don't want to be soft, though! I'm Izzy! I'm hardcore!" Izzy exclaimed, emphasizing the last word.
"Soft is nicer to hug though, eh?" Ezekiel asked, somewhat confused. Izzy stared for a moment, blinking, then laughed.
"You really need to learn some slang," Izzy said cheerfully. "But yeah, that kind of soft is good. So you can caress my silky smooth skin and have your way with me, but watch out! I can bite back!" Ezekiel just looked nervously at her.
Confession Outhouse
Izzy: Ezekiel's like so much fun to play with! He doesn't seem to mind how rambunctious I get. Such a sweet guy when you get past the whole sexism thing. I think he's past that phase, anyway.
"We'll find proof Eva did it," Katie said, making sure Eva could hear, as Katie, Eva, and Bridgette searched around the cabin for clues. "I mean, since she wanted to kill you, she probably wanted to kill Chris, too. Heaven knows I wouldn't mind a stab at him."
Eva said nothing, but was looking away. "I think you're bothering her," Bridgette said. "It could've been anyone. It probably wasn't Eva."
"Thank you," Eva stated flatly.
"But she tried to kill you!" Katie cried, clinging to Bridgette. "I don't want anything to happen to you."
"Um, no," Bridgette said, irritated. "She threatened to kill me. Kind of a difference there."
"I'm really, really sorry," Eva said, still looking away. "I still have anger issues. I'm trying to get those fixed, but I'm not perfect. I know I went too far last year, but I was really trying hard this time, and trying to let out my anger away from everyone to avoid this." Eva turned around toward Bridgette, crying a little. "Please give me another chance."
Bridgette started tearing up quickly, as did Katie: they both quickly rushed over to hug Eva, who started smiling.
Confession Outhouse
Eva: (crying) I love you guys!
Bridgette: I don't know… I just kind of, well, forgot about the threats. She was just so sincere, and she really had been a good friend, except for that little slip-up.
Katie: (crying) I couldn't help it. I know she's kind of a bully, but it was just so sad. I really hope we won't have to vote anyone off tonight.
"I can't believe you're the same person who wanted Bridgette dead last year," Katie said, smirking.
"I had a lot of issues," Eva said, shrugging. "I still have issues, but less. I didn't exactly like how everyone was absolutely terrified of me. I like the power, and beating up on people who piss me off, but I was lonely. Not everyone I bullied deserved it." Eva sighed. "It really wasn't fair when I got voted off last year, though. First Heather kicking me off, then Chris kicking me off--"
"Did I miss something?" Katie asked, confused. "I mean, I know about the Heather thing, but I don't remember Chris doing anything the second time."
"I do," Bridgette said. "Chris got bored with Leshawna and Eva completing challenges, randomly decided to make it sudden death on Leshawna's turn, and Eva never really had a fair chance."
"It really wasn't fair," Eva said, tearing up. "Though I guess threatening your life wasn't exactly fair, either. I wish I could say I was just letting off steam back then, too, but I really would've done it. I was just so angry when I was voted off that first time, I hadn't even paid close attention to who was insulting me. Still not sure why I thought that was you, Bridgette."
"It's OK," Bridgette said, smiling, hugging Eva again. "I still have no idea who I'm going to vote for if we lose tonight, though."
"You really think we're still having a campfire ceremony tonight, even with Chris dead and all?" Eva asked, raising an eyebrow.
"He'd probably come back as a zombie to finish this show," Bridgette said, laughing. "Seriously, I'd almost expect it."
"It's a pretty easy choice," Katie said. "I'd vote for Eva. No offense, Eva, but Bridgette's just so, so nice, and you're nice too, but less nice."
"And I'd vote for you Katie," Eva said. "You're nice, but still kind of annoying. Bridgette's nice, but less annoying."
"Gee, thank you for putting all the pressure on me," Bridgette said, making a face.
"Ooh, secret message!" Katie exclaimed as she picked up an envelope and opened it, pulling out the note inside. "Pretty lousy message."
"What does it say?" Bridgette asked.
"First. Just first," Katie said, confused.
"Well what the hell does that mean?" Eva asked.
"It might be a clue to this hoax, I mean, whole murder thing," Bridgette said. "Seriously, am I the only one with any doubts here?"
Katie shrugged. "He looked pretty dang dead to me."
"Well, this is Chris we're talking about, so it's probably some nonsensical clue that we'd have to be mind readers to comprehend," Bridgette said, irritated.
"Maybe it means the first of the month?" Katie asked, scratching her head.
"Could that be the day the so-called killer was born?" Bridgette asked. "How are we supposed to figure out everyone's birthdays, anyway?"
"What about the first word on that tissue paper?" Eva asked. "Wasn't it 'but'?"
"Maybe," Bridgette said, rubbing her chin. "How was that spelled, anyway? One t or two?"
"I didn't actually see the note," Eva said. "Maybe we should get that tissue paper back."
"Leshawna has a big butt, and I cannot lie," Katie said, smirking, getting blank stares from Eva and Bridgette. "Oh, come on, that song was awesome!"
"No," Bridgette and Eva said in unison. Katie sighed.
"Still, you might be on to something with Leshawna and her big butt," Bridgette said, then looked embarrassed. "Eva, feel free to kill me if I ever utter those words again."
"I may have to," Eva said, smiling.
Confession Outhouse
Katie: Those two have no taste in music whatsoever, I swear!
Izzy and Ezekiel were making out on the ground, both enjoying it, until Ezekiel had enough, pushing Izzy off, who was clinging for dear life. "Did I do something wrong?" Izzy asked, looking hurt.
"Noo, you did good," Ezekiel said. "I doon't know how teenagers really do that for so long, eh?"
"Oh, it's easy," Izzy said, looking a bit confused. "Not really sure how to explain it, though. It's just something that usually comes naturally. I'd have thought you'd be good with nature stuff. You seem like a nature kind of guy, and all."
"Being home schooled isn't really the same as living out in the wild," Ezekiel said, smiling, then looked down. "Do you want to talk about what Jewel--"
"No," Izzy quickly said, with a tone in her voice indicating she was very serious.
"OK. I just thought you might want to--""I don't."
Ezekiel looked down. "I'm soory. I messed up again, didn't I?" Izzy cocked her head, confused. "Saying the wrong thing again?"
"Oh," Izzy said, waving her hand dismissively. "That wasn't anything you did wrong. That was just… well, I know this is going to like sound totally far out, and it's going to come as a shock to you, but well… see… I have issues."
"Issues of what?" Ezekiel said. "Like, a magazine?"
"I have problems," Izzy said. "But not anything you have to worry about, OK my sweetie?" Izzy innocently kissed him on the cheek, causing him to blush. Izzy grinned widely. "Just let me know when you want to make out some more. Izzy's always up for that!"
Confession Outhouse
Ezekiel: Izzy's really a sweet girl. I knoo she's a little crazy, boot I think it's what they're calling a front these days. Partly, at least.
"Anything pointing to Eva," Courtney said, as she, Lindsay, Tyler, and Leshawna were searching in the forest, hoping to find clues as to who killed Chris. "There has to be something."
"What if Ivy didn't do it?" Lindsay asked innocently.
"Oh, she did," Courtney stated flatly. "It's pretty obvious with her anger issues that she would be the only one who would be capable of something this heinous."
"That's disgusting," Lindsay said, wincing. "But doesn't Lafawnda have anger issues, too?" Leshawna nervously chuckled.
"Yes, but I'm pretty certain she wouldn't preemptively kill someone."
"You also have anger issues," Lindsay said, smiling obliviously.
"I do not," Courtney said, nervous, getting defensive.
"Yeah, you do," Leshawna said, laughing. "The whole defending Heather thing?"
"I was right about that," Courtney said, irritated.
Leshawna sighed. "You was right. I'm really sorry I caused that big mess. I kinda' owe an apology to that she-demon."
"So do I," Courtney said, looking down.
"Didn't you already apologize to Heather?" Lindsay asked, confused.
"Well, yeah, but I really let her down, believing the cockamamie story of some stranger."
"Is that a real word?" Leshawna asked, confused, but then smiled. "Of course it's a word. You, of all people, wouldn't use a make-believe word and all."
"So you made a mistake," Lindsay said, smiling. "People do that."
"I don't make mistakes!" Courtney shouted. "I should be above mistakes!"
"Really, what I did was a whole lot worse than what you did," Leshawna said. "Shoulda' just waited for Heather to make her move."
"I love that game!" Lindsay exclaimed, but backed down when she saw the glares she was getting. "You know, that game where you put the colorful sliders under…" Lindsay trailed off, realizing no one was getting it. "Did I get the name of it wrong?"
"You didn't get anything wrong," Tyler said, smiling, as the two walked up to each other and kissed each other.
"Clues, guys, remember?" Courtney asked, irritated. "You know, something we can find to prove that Eva did it?"
"Or someone else," Leshawna added. "I mean, ya' never know, someone might be framing her, and all."
"You would be the expert on that," Courtney stated flatly. Leshawna ducked down again, looking guilty. "We do need to find evidence, though."
"Is this evident?" Lindsay asked, picking up a rock. "I think it's a rock."
"You're right!" Tyler exclaimed. "You really are my little genius!"
Lindsay blushed. "You're so sweet." Tyler and Lindsay gave each other another long kiss.
"It's really not the time for making out," Courtney said, rolling her eyes. "Eva, killer, remember?"
"Or maybe not Eva," Leshawna said. "We don't know it was Eva."
"I found another piece of envelope!" Lindsay exclaimed.
"You mean evidence, hon," Leshawna said.
"It's not really worth trying," Courtney stated.
"But it is an envelope!" Lindsay said. "It's not addressed to anyone, though. Is it illegal to open up an envelope if it's not addressed to anyone?"
"Not as illegal as murder," Leshawna said.
"OK," Lindsay said nervously, as she opened the envelope and took out a piece of paper that was in it.
"What does it say?" Courtney asked, somewhat impatient.
"First," Lindsay said, confused.
"First what?" Courtney asked, more impatient. "Tyler, can you read it?"
"I can read it just fine, thank you," Lindsay said, annoyed. "It's just a three-letter word."
"Oh," Courtney said, confused. "Doesn't 'first' have five letters?"
"Maybe whoever wrote this misspelled it, then" Lindsay said, confused. "They spelled it one, s, t. Is that wrong?"
"Well, no, I guess it's not," Courtney said, looking guilty.
"Why would someone put 1st in an envelope, though?" Tyler asked, scratching his head. "It doesn't really make any sense."
"Is that actual evidence?" Leshawna asked, confused. "I mean, it don't mean nothin'."
"That's what Eva wants us to think," Courtney said, smirking. "The 1st is meaningless. What we're supposed to do with it is handwriting analysis. Get a sample of Eva's handwriting, compare it to this 1st, and then we've got her!"
"Does writing 1st in an envelope really prove she killed anyone, though?" Tyler asked, confused. "Shouldn't we try to find some connection to the 1st and Eva?"
"Maybe it's her birthday?" Courtney asked. "Is there a way to check medical records?"
"I don't think it's a birthday," Lindsay said, nervous. "I've never wrote a date like that."
"What?" Courtney asked. "January first, February first… it fits."
"Well, yeah, but think about when you write out a date," Lindsay stated, sounding as if it were common sense. "Most people don't write out February first. They write February one, without the little s and t, for some reason."
Confession Outhouse
Courtney: You know, there's not a whole lot that's more embarrassing than being upstaged by Lindsay. It's amazing how oblivious she can often be when at other times, she notices little details like that. I'd really love to see how Lindsay's mind works from her point of view. It has to be fascinating. (Courtney starts talking quietly and quickly, looking down.) And I'm sorry I lost my patience with you back there.
Leshawna: I always wrote out the little st's and th's. Was that wrong?
The other three thought about it for a moment before Courtney spoke up. "That actually makes sense. But if it's not a date, what could it be?"
"Maybe it's a clue?" Lindsay asked. "First something… first envelope? First ink? First letter? First paper?"
"That's a bit farfetched," Courtney stated. "Still, you've got the wheels spinning, so that's a good thing."
"That's it!" Lindsay exclaimed. "Don't you get it? It's like Wheel of Fortune!"
The others looked at her, confused. "Baby, are you OK?" Leshawna asked, concerned.
"The answer was on the Kleenex!" Lindsay exclaimed, smiling brightly.
"Well, yeah," Courtney said. "We all saw the tissue paper. Eva killed Ezekiel. And from that, we can also gather that she killed Chris."
"That's not what I meant," Lindsay said, irritated. "I think that Kleenex had a clue on it, though. I don't really remember what it said, though. Does anyone else remember?"
"A bunch of stupid stuff, and that Eva killed Ezekiel," Courtney stated flatly.
"I need the exact words," Lindsay said, irritated.
"So you think there was, like, a hidden message in there?" Tyler asked, smiling.
"Why else would the Kleenex have had all that gibberish on it?" Lindsay asked, smirking. "And this letter tells us how to decode it!"
"But it's just a 1st," Courtney said, a bit whiny. "That doesn't make any logical sense."
"I'll explain it on the way," Lindsay stated. "We need that Kleenex, though!"
Confession Outhouse
Leshawna: Just feels so wrong, Lindsay telling us that she'll explain it. World's gone mad, I tell ya'!
Courtney: (staring blanking) Lindsay is a genius! I'd seriously love to see the inner workings of her mind, because I'm not sure how anyone was reasonably supposed to figure that out!
"It was right here, wasn't it?" Lindsay asked, confused, as she was searching the dead body for the tissue. "Kleenex can't walk away by itself, can it?"
"No, but someone could have taken it," Courtney said, then slapped her face. "You know, I'm not sure why we didn't just take it before. We should've known it was important."
"Because it was covered in snot," Leshawna said. "Seriously, that the sort of thing you would've wanted to carry 'round?"
"You make a good point," Courtney stated. "Still, what can we do without the tissue?"
"We'll find out who took it, and then we'll take it back!" Tyler exclaimed, pumping his fist in the air.
"No, we'll take it back," Courtney stated. "Physical… well, physical anything isn't really your strong suit."
Confession Outhouse
Courtney: Of course, his only strong point is being able to comfort Lindsay so. You know, I really should dislike him because of his overall uselessness, but for some reason, it just seems really nice, the way he makes Lindsay happy.
"Our other teammates might have it, though," Leshawna said.
"Team Omega is kind of useless, though. Or mostly useless. I guess Cody isn't really that useless, but still, I actually think we know how to solve this mystery and win this challenge!"
"Chris was murdered," Tyler said, looking sick. "You really think this is a challenge?"
"I think everything's a challenge, and I think we need to make sure to… well… win, I guess."
"That didn't sound too confident," Leshawna said.
"Well, I don't know if you guys noticed, but the other team, the Killer Chrises, I mean, isn't really doing that well."
"But we gots to win, right?" Leshawna asked, confused.
"Well, yes," Courtney said, uneasy. "They've only got three people, though. If they lose, there's a one in three chance they'll get rid of the wrong person! But in reality, it's obvious they would get rid of the wrong person."
"You mean Bridgette, hon?" Leshawna asked, concerned. "Everyone likes her, though. I don't think you have to worry about that."
"Unless she's like the only person left on her team, and her team loses again," Lindsay said, looking almost bored, then a look of confusion went across her face. "You know, I wonder if she'd have to vote for herself if she was the only person left on her team, and she lost."
"Won't happen," Leshawna said, smiling. "We've got a merge after this challenge, remember?"
"Oh yeah," Lindsay said, smiling. "I forgot about that. I remember how much fun we had last year, when Bridgette got to move in with us… except that Heather didn't really let me talk to her, and we never really got close. That was sad."
"That's the kind of person Heather is," Leshawna said. "Evil conniving--"
"We're on civil terms," Courtney said, irritated, with her arms crossing her chest. "Let's not push the issue."
"Sorry," Leshawna said sweetly. "Force of habit."
"We should probably find the other team, since if they have it, we might lose," Courtney said. "And that… well, I'd rather not lose, even though I don't really want them to lose either. Because if they lost, then Bridgette might lose, and I don't really want that to happen, either, but we still can't lose ourselves. I mean, I don't know how we can protect Leshawna if we lost."
"Thank you, sista'!" Leshawna exclaimed, hugging Courtney, though Courtney, shocked and then irritated, pushed her off. "Sorry, I forgot."
Confession Outhouse
Courtney: I kind of feel like I'm betraying Heather again, by not staying angry with Leshawna.
Lindsay: Leshawna's been nicer lately, though. I really think she's realized how cruel she was being.
Courtney: Except she's still mad at Heather.
Lindsay: That one goes a bit deeper. Heather and Leshawna hated each other for a long time. I think we just need to help her see the nicer Heather.
Courtney: You know you just got Leshawna's name right twice, don't you?
Lindsay: I did? (Lindsay glomps Courtney.) Yeah! I knew I could get it eventually!
Courtney: Intellectually, I know Leshawna doesn't deserve forgiveness.
Lindsay: But your heart says different.
Courtney: (sighing) Yeah.
"But really, I'd do great every two thousand evenings, keeping it lively. Little Eva did murder Ezekiel," Bridgette said, confused, as she, Eva, and Katie were behind the cabins. "Evenings kind of sounds like Eva."
"I didn't do it," Eva said, exasperated.
"I know. I'm just trying to figure this out," Bridgette said, scratching her head. "Didn't some profile somewhere refer to Leshawna as lively? Could that be another clue?"
"That's not the first word, though," Katie said, confused. "But butt is first, with a different spelling, so that's still a possibility. We know she's capable of some pretty depraved acts, after all."
Not too far away, Courtney was with Lindsay, who was spying with a pair of binoculars, writing the message down on a sheet of paper, each word on a separate line.
"That's so obvious, that I really should have noticed," Courtney said, irritated with herself. "I'd like to think that I'm usually more perceptive than that. It doesn't exactly prove guilt, though. That would never hold up in court. Not that I'd want it to. Not that I even believe it's true."
"It's what Chris wants, though, and what we need to win the challenge!" Lindsay exclaimed, smirking.
"It's a little too convenient, if you ask me," Courtney said, irritated. "Dead body sure seemed real, but it can't be. This was all on purpose. All some elaborate ruse for a challenge, I'm sure. Because Bridgette wouldn't kill anyone."
"As far as this challenge is concerned, Bridgette killed him," Lindsay said. "How do we make it official to win the challenge, though?"
"I don't know," Courtney said, confused. "Go up to Chris' supposedly dead body to tell him, I guess."
Confession Outhouse
Courtney: (looking freaked out) I wasn't scared at all. Not one iota!
Courtney and Lindsay slowly approached the dead body, shivering. "Um, Chris," Lindsay said, nervous, "I don't really believe it's true, and I'm pretty sure you can hear me right now, but Bridgette killed you."
"Correct!" Chris exclaimed, appearing from behind the two, as they jumped high into the sky in fear, landing on the dead body. They screamed and hurried off onto the ground before Chris. "And by the way, awesome reaction! We need to get that one in slow motion when it goes to air, ha ha!"
"Not funny Chris!" Courtney shouted, standing up, leaning straight toward him.
"Oh, come on, where's you guys' sense of humor?" Izzy asked, rushing up with a dazed Ezekiel. "That was actually pretty funny." Courtney and Lindsay glared at Izzy. "Trust me, ten years from now, you'll look back and laugh at that moment."
Confession Outhouse
Courtney: As much good as Izzy's done, I suppose we could let that one slide.
Lindsay: Well, she is Irma. She's just… weird. Not really mean, though.
Courtney: Still, not funny!
The eleven campers, as well as Izzy, were standing before Chris, who was standing in front of the dead body. "And the Screaming Pansies have won yet another challenge! And no one is surprised." Bridgette, Eva, and Katie looked defeated.
"So, the dead body was a fake?" Bridgette asked, worried.
"No, it's a real dead body," Chris said, smirking. "Just wasn't me. Some John Doe who was at the morgue. Guy who works there owed me a favor."
"That's kind of sick," Bridgette said, irritated.
"I thought it was pretty cool, really," Izzy said, nibbbling on Ezekiel's neck, who looked embarrassed.
"Courtney, why don't you tell us how you solved this little mystery?" Chris said.
"I didn't," Courtney said, smiling. "Lindsay actually did."
"Look," Chris said, "I know it's nice to try to share credit, but we all know that Lindsay's way too stupid to figure it out!"
"It wasn't that hard," Lindsay said.
"Well then, why don't you just try to explain it then," Chris said, mocking, sticking his tongue out at Lindsay.
"It was simple," Lindsay said, cheerfully. "The Kleenex--"
"They're not sponsoring our show, so let's not give them free advertising," Chris said, irritated.
"Huh?" Lindsay asked, confused.
"Just use the generic term!" Chris whined.
"O… K…" Lindsay said, dumbfounded. "Well, the generic brand of Kleenex had a message on it. Most of it didn't matter, but I knew there was a message hidden in there. We found an letter that just said 1st. I was having trouble figuring out what it meant, but just saying things that popped into my head, it hit me: it was a letter. 1st letter! So we went back to find the Klee… generic brand of Kleenex that had the message, but it was gone, so me and Courtney spied on Bridgette, Kelly, and Avis to get the message, and when I wrote it down one word on each line, the message was clear: 'Bridgette killed me.'" Lindsay was beaming, looking proud of herself.
"I'm impressed, Courtney," Chris said. "Not only did you solve the case, but you even managed to train Lindsay to memorize that entire monologue!"
"Um, no," Courtney said, irritated. "If I solved the case, believe me, I'd be taking the credit myself."
"Seriously, Lindsay figured it out," Tyler said.
"Surprised me too, but I was there," Leshawna said. "Lindsay solved it."
"First, you're just trying to suck up to everyone because they hate you," Chris snapped at Leshawna, then turned to Tyler. "Second, you're her boyfriend, and she'd dump you for someone better if you didn't lavish her with false praise." Chris then turned to Courtney. "And you're not usually nice, so you're just up to something, I'm sure."
"But I did solve it!" Lindsay shouted, on the verge of crying.
"I believe you," Bridgette said, smiling, going over to congratulate Lindsay. "That was pretty perceptive of you, really."
"Like it would take much to impress you, blondie," Chris said, rolling his eyes. "Seriously, one idiot impressing another. Not a whole lot of effort required there."
"Don't press your luck," Eva said, with venom in her voice, rushing up to Chris, lifting him by his shirt collar. "I may be better with controlling my anger, but I will make you pay if you don't lay off on Bridgette this instant!" Chris looked frightened, and was silent after Eva let him go.
"Wait," Courtney said, confused. "I thought you didn't like Bridgette."
"No," Eva said. "I was just angry, and I vented it and screamed my head off in the confessional so I could calm myself down, because I didn't want to hurt Bridgette. She's been my best friend here. I mean, well, not counting, well--"
"Don't worry about that part," Katie said, winking. Eva nodded.
"Courtney," Bridgette said, smiling, and hugging her, "you're a great friend, and I really appreciate that you were looking out for me, and risking Eva's wrath for me, but really, Eva's a pretty nice person. Just has a few anger problems, and she's trying to better herself. I love both of you!"
Courtney looked confused, but let it go. "If you say so, Bridgette. I mean, I trust your judgment."
"Bridgette's good with people," Lindsay said, twirling her hair between her fingers. "If she trusts Ava, I trust Ava!"
"Well, OK," Courtney said, a bit confused. "Just… well… I don't know."
"I promise not to hurt Bridgette. Really," Eva said, smiling.
"You've really got a pretty smile," Katie said, smiling brightly. "Wish you'd show it more often."
"I don't know," Eva said. "Just doesn't come natural to me."
"I'm sorry you guys lost, though," Courtney said. "I mean, I'd have been worried if our team lost as well, but I feel bad for you guys, that you haven't really caught much of a break. I really hope you can survive again, Bridgette!"
"Thank you," Bridgette said, sad. "I'm really not looking forward to the ceremony."
"Don't think any of us are, really," Eva said, looking down.
"Whoever loses gets to be on Total Drama Izzy, though," Izzy said, excited.
"Not if I have anything to say about it," Chris said, annoyed.
"Lucky for me, you don't! The producers already talked to you about it."
Chris grumbled. "Don't remind me."
"What is Izzy talking about?" Courtney asked, confused.
"You'll see!" Izzy exclaimed, then suspiciously looked around. "Hopefully later rather than sooner, though."
Confession Outhouse
Katie: Don't get me wrong, I like Eva, but Bridgette's like my surrogate BFFFL. I really hate to break up Eva and Cody, but I just don't have a choice. I'm sorry, Eva. (Katie starts crying a little.)
Bridgette: (crying) I'm really, really sorry, Katie, but I just feel terrible for Eva, and Eva feels bad enough for what she did. I just don't have the heart to vote for her. I really wish you could both stay. You're both awesome people!
Chris was standing behind his podium at the campfire, with Bridgette, Eva, and Katie sitting on their stumps. Courtney, Lindsay, Leshawna, Ezekiel, and Cody were nervously watching from behind the usual hiding bush. "I didn't know you were so worried about Bridgette," Courtney said to Cody.
"Don't get me wrong, Bridgette's nice and all, but she's not really who I'm worried about," Cody said, looking upon the ceremony nervously.
"Once again, your team sucked in today's challenge," Chris said to the Killer Chrises, irritated.
"Once again, that challenge didn't even make sense," Katie said, narrowing her eyes. "Really, how does a stupid little pun and word puzzle supposedly prove that Bridgette supposedly killed you?"
"Once again, I'm the boss, and don't care for your pithy opinions!" Chris whined. "Regardless, I have but two marshmallows on this plate. There are three of you. The one of you who does not get a marshmallow must immediately walk the Dock of Shame to catch the Boat of Losers, and you can never come back! Ever!"
"Seriously, whichever of you leaves tonight, I really, really hope you can get back on," Bridgette said, crying, walking up to hug her two friends.
"You're awfully cocky, aren't you?" Chris asked, irritated. "I mean, how are you so sure that you're not the one leaving tonight?"
Bridgette gulped. "I guess I'm not. I'd just be really surprised if they both voted for me, since I know Eva's closer to me than she is Katie, and Katie's closer to me than she is Eva."
"And people think I have a big ego," Chris complained, shaking his head. "Regardless, you're right." Chris threw Bridgette her marshmallow, who looked relieved to receive it, but also clearly worried for her two friends. Courtney, Lindsay, and Ezekiel also sighed in relief, though Cody was still worried.
"Eva. Katie. One of you two is about to leave us. Frankly, you both deserve to leave. Eva, you've got anger issues." Eva was surprisingly unmoved by Chris' comment. "Katie, you're just an all-around monster. Regardless, one of you gets to stay. The final marshmallow goes to…"
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"Katie." Chris, clearly unhappy, tossed Katie her marshmallow, then started grumbling. Bridgette looked confused, though.
"I don't get it," Bridgette said. I hated to do it--I mean, I really hated to do it--but I voted for Katie. Did someone rig the votes again?"
"Believe me, if someone rigged the votes when Katie could've gone home, I'd have definitely called the cheater out on it," Chris said, sounding angry. "Whether I like it or not--and believe me, I do not like it--the vote was legit."
"But if I voted for Katie, that means…" Bridgette trailed off, confused, then hugged Eva tightly. "Why, Eva?"
"I have issues I need to work out," Eva said, smiling. "I sure as hell wasn't going to vote for you, and Katie's just been so nice and bubbly, and annoying, but even still, she looks up to you and was worried about you. I messed up. Neither of you two really deserved to go, and I didn't want Katie to lose just because you felt sorry for me."
"I'm sorry," Katie said, crying, joining in on the hug. "I mean, you're kinda' mean, but you're kinda' nice too."
"If you come back, you aren't going to be really angry and seek revenge on us, are you?" Bridgette asked, giggling.
"You never know," Eva said, smirking. Katie looked a little nervous, but Bridgette just continued giggling. "Kidding, Katie," Eva said, looking innocent.
"That was really big of you, Eva," Cody said, coming forth, with Courtney, Lindsay, Leshawna, and Ezekiel following. "It's really a shame you're leaving, though. You're a really cool, tough gal." Cody started nervously rubbing his shoe on the ground.
Eva sighed. "A goodbye kiss would be nice." Cody smiled, then walked up to Eva, as she lifted him up and they started a long, sweet kiss, with Chris clearly annoyed, Bridgette, Leshawna, and Lindsay looking surprised, and Courtney in complete shock.
"Can we hurry it up already? Geez!" Chris complained.
"I really don't think you should mess with Edie," Lindsay said, worried. "She might kill you. Again."
Eva put Cody down after they finished kissing. Courtney extended her right hand as Eva started walking toward the dock. "I'm sorry about the misunderstanding earlier. And all the misunderstandings we've had before. You've been a good friend toward Bridgette. At least this season."
Eva shook her hand with a strong grip that Courtney didn't seem to mind. "You were just being a good, protective friend. I can't fault you for that."
Confession Outhouse
Courtney: And I didn't mean that as an insult in any way. Eva's changed for the better, but Heather and Lindsay have, too. And, well, me too, really. At least I feel I have. Also, I have to congratulate Eva for knowing how to give a proper handshake. Most people don't seem to be able to get a properly tight grip. I can't complain about Eva's grip, that's for sure.
Leshawna hugged Eva tightly as she passed. "Thank you, girl! Bein' my friend when I didn't have anyone else."
"You're welcome," Eva said, still smiling. "And we both know how horrible Heather is, but just don't go all psycho next time. You can take her down without hurting anyone else in the process, you know."
"Too late now, I guess," Leshawna said, sighing.
"Please give Heather another chance," Lindsay said, tearing a bit.
"Lindsay, look," Eva said, shaking her head. "I know you mean well, and I promise I'm not going to bother her. Unless she does something to me first. But it still doesn't mean I have to like the girl."
Lindsay sighed, looking defeated. "I guess."
Eva climbed into the Boat of Losers, with Bridgette, Katie, Leshawna, and Cody following. "Bridgette," Eva said, chuckling to herself a bit. "If you win the million, you owe me a new mp3 player."
"Sure thing!" Bridgette exclaimed, as the four waved Eva off as the boat left. Cody and Leshawna eventually left, but Bridgette just sat down on the edge of the dock. Katie, looking concerned, sat next to her.
"It's not your fault, you know. It was an accident. She knows that. We all know that."
"And she voted herself off because of me," Bridgette said, crying. "I mean, I'm sorry that I kind of voted for you--"
"Don't be," Katie said, smiling, hugging Bridgette. "You had to vote for one of us. And I figured especially since you felt bad for Eva that it was gonna' be me. I mean, I'd have been with Sadie and Noah, at least. It wouldn't have been all bad."
"But you didn't want to leave," Bridgette said, crying a bit.
"No, I didn't," Katie said. "I especially like how Chris hates me being here, though."
Bridgette giggled. "That's actually a pretty good reason to keep you around."
"You two don't deserve it, but here are more clothes for you guys," Chris complained, dropping off a box. "The Courtney outfit just doesn't look very good on you."
"Well, no one else likes you much, either," Bridgette said.
"You guys just don't understand my awesomeness," Chris said, full of himself. "Regardless, the Killer Chrises now number but two: Katie and Bridgette. Both of who deserve to be long, long gone. Bridgette, I can kinda' understand why you're still here--everyone feels sorry for a dumb blonde, and all--"
"She's not dumb!" Katie shouted, getting up in Chris' face, poking his chest, making him uncomfortable
"You wretched little thing though, I can't figure out!" Chris yelled. "Nine people on your team voted out, and somehow the most annoying human being on the planet survived them all?! It's inconceivable!"
"She's really not that bad," Bridgette said, angry.
"You're just too stupid to realize it!" Chris yelled back. "So we have the two misfits without a prayer. Will Katie survive yet another elimination ceremony by some miracle? Or will she finally get the humiliation conga she so richly deserves?!"
"No," Bridgette stated, as she and Katie pushed Chris over the edge of the dock.
"Whatever happens though, it ought to be interesting," Katie said, smiling. "So watch me, Bridgette, and the rest of the gang, next time on, say it with me Bridge!"
Bridgette and Katie leaned toward each other, holding each others backs and standing on one foot as the said together, "Total Drama Eva!"
Noah, Sadie, and Heather were waiting on the dock of the Playa' des Losers when Eva arrived. "You really did good out there," Noah said, smiling, giving Eva a thumbs up.
Sadie, crying, glomped Eva. "I'm so proud of you, saving Katie like that! I mean, I really miss her, but I'm so happy she got to stay in the game! But you're nice too. I really think the whole thing with Cody is cute! You two are so cute together!"
"I'm really sorry for what you had to go through back there," Heather said, sad. "I know what it's like, not having anyone trust you, trying desperately to win back people's trust." Heather extended her right hand to Eva. After looking at her hand for a few seconds, Eva shook it, though harder than Heather would have liked, though Heather was holding the pain in.
"Thank you, Heather," Eva said, smiling. Heather smiled back. "I guess it really would only be fair to give you another chance, too."
Votes
Bridgette: Katie
Eva: Eva
Katie: Eva
Eva: 2
Katie: 1
Losers: Geoff, DJ, Duncan, Beth, Izzy, Heather, Gwen, Justin, Owen, Sadie, Noah, Eva
Remaining Killer Chrises: Bridgette, Katie
Remaining Screaming Pansies: Cody, Courtney, Ezekiel, Harold, Leshawna, Lindsay, Trent, Tyler
That I did not want to do. I was even getting attached to Eva, but that's one of the problems with changing the outline for the story: not always able to find a way to rearrange things like elimination order. Eva was not intended to be a particularly important character in this story when I'd started it--she was originally just going to make up with Bridgette, and eliminated earlier, but when you're writing, ideas come up, and changes get made, and... honestly, I love how Eva came out in the story, but I could not see a feasible way of keeping her around without some drastic changes.
I can't even say it's a situation like Noah's, or Heather's, who needed to be eliminated for certain reasons. Eva was simply eliminated for not seeing who else I could have eliminated in her place, really. For that, I'm sorry for anyone who was hoping she'd go further into the game... but really, eleven people were eliminated before she was. In the end, that ain't too bad, right? One of the problems with being flexible with the story outline, I guess. We'll be seeing more of Eva still: you guys do know what the next chapter is, right?