A short chapter for you. Enjoy!
Chapter 25
Come to me in my dreams, and then
By day I shall be well again.
For then the night will more than pay
The hopeless longing of the day.
Come, as thou cam'st a thousand times,
A messenger from radiant climes,
And smile on thy new world, and be
As kind to others as to me.
Or, as thou never cam'st in sooth,
Come now, and let me dream it truth.
And part my hair, and kiss my brow,
And say My love! why sufferest thou?
Come to me in my dreams, and then
By day I shall be well again.
For then the night will more than pay
The hopeless longing of the day.
Matthew Arnold
I was in character, deep in character. Victor had been so drunk he slept with Sylvia's best friend. Instead of begging for forgiveness he was breaking up with her. It was after high school, she left home and they were living together. Their time started out with only drinking at parties and while social, sylvia had joined in on that fun. Then it became everyday. In a group, alone, before work…he was lost but Sylvia couldn't for the life of her let go of him. He was running away from the drama, he was running away from her. The guilt evident in his eyes I would imagine. I was rehearsing with Angie in the living room, my audition was tomorrow morning. My back towards her, I turned my best game face on pretending she was Victor and turned towards her.
"You want to break up... sure... no problem... yeah, I wanted to break up too. I've been thinking about it for a long time. This is a person I will need to break up with, he isn't good for me. But hey... you beat me to it. No hard feelings.
I shrugged and turn away, so he wouldn't see the tears in my eyes. He cheated on me and here he is the one breaking it off.
"We could be friends." Angie said playing Victor's part.
"Be friends?" I turn around with a big smile. "Sure! I'd love to be friends. That's the natural evolution of most relationships. Have something and then boom... friends. I'm sure some of the best friendships started that way."
I act overly enthusiastic, "I look forward to hanging out with you, buddy. Let's meet up and go to a football game or a movie some time and hang out."
"That would be GREAT!" I yell.
Hurt evident in my eyes. My eyes quiet and angry. I close my eyes trying to calm down.
"You're upset." Victor says hurt in his voice. Swallowing hard.
"What? Upset? No, I'm not upset. Why would I be... upset…"
Tears flow down my cheek as I start to cry and I wipe it swiftly.
Victor takes a hesitant step towards me, "Don't cry." pain in his voice, "Please don't cry."
"No, I'm not crying. I said, I'm not crying!" I yell as I burst into tears.
"Baby…I'm sorry…I…come here." he steps towards her again.
I step away. "I don't want your pity. I don't want a shoulder to cry on. I want... to be left...
ALONE! Don't you get it. I want to be alone!" I yell angrily. A swarm of emotions swell to the surface as I remember Dylan and Kelly ruining my life. How I felt, how Dylan's guilty eyes looked every where else but mine at that time in the park. I pause and sadly reflect.
"I've always wanted to be alone. I never wanted to get close to anyone. I never wanted us to get close. And I guess I was closer to you than you were to me."
"You were my everything." Victor says sadly. "You are my everything."
I turn away from him angrily, "Don't lie to me. I know you don't mean it. I don't want to hear any more lies! I don't want you to make something up so you can get out of this. I want it all laid out on the table." I yell at him, traitor tears leaking out of my eyes. "I want to know the truth! Do you like her? Did I mean absolutely nothing to you? Why did you have sex with her?"
Victor/Angie rushes me, "No baby…I love you. I don't even remember. I didn't remember being with her. She means nothing…nothing to me. You're my everything…I…I love you." Victor's/Angie's hand comes up and touches my cheek, Angie caresses it softly. There is a long pause as I close my eyes and cry. After a beat I mange to say softly, putting his cheating and drinking aside, "I want to know the truth." my voice broken, "I want to know why you are breaking my heart, I want to know why you continue to break my heart." I whisper looking deep into his eyes. A sob coming from me as I look away backing away from him. Tears continue to flow down my face as I look at Angie, a huge grin comes across her face, she is impressed. She wipes away the tears that have come to her eyes, seeing this scene probably is bringing her real life situation to life. I sit on the couch drained. I knew I nailed it but when you're in a scene like this. It doesn't just turn off right away. I looked up hearing clapping seeing Dylan standing in the doorway with a smile. I stared into his eyes seeing love and pride.
He shook his head stepping into the living room, "Bren…that was." his hand came to rest over his heart, "Incredible.…I almost stopped breathing."
I wiped a stray tear and looked down, "Thank you."
He came over sitting next to me on the couch and pulled me into him. I was emotionally drained and I cried softly. He knew and didn't ask any questions. Angie smiled looking at us. The door bell rang and she looked towards the door, "That's probably Tyler…you guys don't mind right? He's coming over to lay the last song on my track. I decided to go with piano and he knows how to play. Plus I think I'm going to add his lyrics in there too, it sounds good as a duet, I don't know maybe not. That's okay right?" Angie looked at us nervously. She had taken over the loft, but Dylan and I truly really hadn't minded she was there. She was polite and helpful. She kept to herself and besides the fact Dylan and I only had privacy with each other behind our bedroom doors it really wasn't that bad.
"It's ok with me…Bren?" Dylan squeezed me tightly.
"Fine by me." my head still resting on Dylan's chest.
She smiled and nodded and moved towards the door. I sat up a bit to get a better view. Tyler carried a long case that I imagined was a portable piano, he smiled at us saying a quiet hey then his eyes went to Angie, love pouring out of them. Things were sweet and awkward with them you could tell. I knew Angie was trying and I knew Tyler was on his best behavior. He called the apartment often and they'd go out for coffee or write together but from my knowledge things had stayed platonic. She wasn't quite ready to forgive him this time, like she had in the past. I watched them shyly move next to each other taking the stairs to the loft. When they were out of sight I looked at Dylan that had been looking at them too.
"Do you think they're going to work it out?" I said quietly hearing them setting up from what it sounded like.
Dylan shrugged, "I'd hope so."
"I go back and forth, but it's not my business. Angie is a good friend. Her being here for the past week we've gotten closer. We always got along but it was more a group of the four of us with Tyler and Mark…I've seen so much of their relationship. The amazing, the ugly…I don't know."
Dylan nodded, "He is completely in love with her Bren. There isn't a doubt in my mind. He made a mistake."
I looked at him not sure how to take that, "He's made more than one mistake. He's cheated on her a million times."
Dylan looked at me, he smirked and knew he was in a trap, "I know hun…I can't speak for Tyler back then…maybe your boyfriend Mark could." he eyed me.
I smirked back and shook my head, "You're good.I'll give you that." he made me shut up thats for sure.
He chuckled pulling me back to him, "Yes I am…darlin…yes I am." he faked his Texas accent and I laughed leaning my head against his chest. We listened as Angie sang through the song. It was really good. I know it seems I say that a lot but it was really great. I actually teared up hearing her. We listened, kind of ease dropping. We heard Angie shyly ask him, "You think you can come in and sing these parts." there was silence.
"Are you sure darlin? It's your song."
"Well yeah…Dylan helped write it, I think it would be nice with a male presence."
Dylan kissed the top of my head, Dylan was becoming a top notch song writer, I wondered if he would do anything with it. This song was amazing. "Let's try it…I'm going to record it through."
The gorgeous music of the piano filled our apartment. I sighed cuddling into Dylan tightly, it was like our own private show. She started, her voice gorgeous sounding.
"I never needed you like I do right now
I never needed you like I do right now
Tyler belted next, "I never hated you like I do right now
Then they sang together, "Cause all you ever do is make me…"
I looked at Dylan with wide eyes, what a difference the male voice brought to this heartbreaking song. I sat up straight listening, I was in awe. They alternated lines.
"Gave you up 'bout twenty one times
Felt those lips tell me twenty one lies
You'll be the death of me
Sage advice
But lovin' you could make Jesus cry.
When I hear you sayin', Darlin', your kiss is like an antidote
I'm fightin' like I'm Ali
But you got me on the ropes.
Dylan touched my cheek, his thumb caressing me. I leaned in and kissed him softly. This song was heartbreaking and romantic, it instantly became my new favorite. I wonder when he wrote this with her or who he was writing about.
"Dance with me Bren." he whispered against my lips.
"Who is this song about?" I leaned out and asked him interested. "For you I mean…she said you helped write it."
Dylan smirked at me, "You…they're always about you. I wrote this poem when I moved in with you, before we got together. It wasn't as good as this, Angie added a lot of her own emotions in there." he swallowed hard listening to the chorus. He had wrote it. At least some of it. I almost knew what words were his.
"I never needed you like I do right now
I never needed you like I do right now
I never hated you like I do right now
'Cause all you ever do is make me…"
I grabbed his hand, "I'd love to dance with you." We got up and my arms wrapped around his neck tightly. I felt him bury his face in my neck. We swayed back and forth slowly enjoying being so close. I listened to the words now, even more so than before.
"Couldn't hear the thunder, but I heard your heart race
Couldn't see the rain, we're too busy makin' hurricanes
Love ain't easy when it ain't my way
But it gets hard, when you ain't here makin' me crazy
Baby, say the word, darlin'
You know just how to hold this sucker down
So I'll see you in the morning
I can't watch you walk out." Angie's voice broke. My attention went to the loft. I heard both of them. They were having a moment, "Baby…" Tyler whispered and sounded pained. I pictured him reaching for her.
"I'm fine…lets just finish, I'll cut this out." The piano took over where she left off after a beat.
"I never needed you like I do right now
I never needed you like I do right now
I never hated you like I do right now
'Cause all you ever do is make me… cry."
Tyler jammed on the piano, I stopped swaying to the music and looked at Dylan. His eyes sad and taken back from what we were hearing upstairs. It almost felt to private to witness but we both stood there in each other's arms frozen.
"Wooohooo…wooohoooo. Hooooo Yeah."
"Sing it baby."
"You keep on making me cry."
"Sing it baby…tell me baby."
You keep on making me cry." Angie's voice was so sad yet so beautiful.
Then it all became calm, the piano softly playing through the apartment.
"I never needed you like I do right now
I never needed you like I do right now
I never hated you like I do right now
'Cause all you ever do is make me…" silence.
My hand came to cover my mouth as I heard them, "Come home baby. Please." Tyler begged. "I know you have given me a million chances, please…give me one last one."
Silence again, then Angie finally spoke, "But you've given me a million reasons to let you go…don't you get it? One minute you're telling me you want to marry me and then the next you're fucking some slut in my bed." Angie yelled.
"Come on Bren." Dylan tried to pull my hand, "Let's give them some privacy." I wanted to help but I knew I couldn't. "I can't let her make the same mistake we did. She is so angry." I whispered, "I would have taken you back in a second." I admitted again. I had admitted this to him our freshman year in college.
"Come on." he moved his head towards the kitchen as Tyler started raising his voice.
"I'm sorry…okay…I'm sorry. I don't know why I fucking did it. I don't know. I'm stupid…" his voice became low, "I'm nothin. I know that."
Dylan pulled me into the kitchen. We still heard them clearly. We pretended that we weren't listening but we were. We absolutely were.
"Don't say you're nothin…you are NOT nothin." Angie said sadness in her voice. "You just make stupid decisions. You are not nothin…you are everything…you were everything to me."
I looked at Dylan, tears brimmed my eyes as she continued, "I just don't get why I'm not enough? I know you love me…why am I not enough for you?"
Tyler sighed, "Oh baby…don't you get it? You are everything to me, that's what so fucking scary. You are my heart and my soul, music and you are the same to me, without one I don't have the other. I am nothin and I don't deserve you but the person I am when I'm with you…makes me want to be something darlin. Without you everything is nothin. You're it for me. This will never happen again. It will never happen again." He repeated tearfully. "Please baby."
I smiled a shy smile and looked at Dylan, his expression matching mine. Then silence. I grabbed Dylan's hand as we peaked around the kitchen arch way. We looked up and saw Angie and Tyler making out as she straddled him on the couch in the loft. Angie leaned out.
"I've got a hundred million reasons to walk away." she said against his lips, "But darlin…I only needed one good one to stay." she kissed him hard and passionate.
I looked at Dylan, happiness filling my face as I smiled.
"I think our little overnight guest will be moving out soon." He raised his eyebrows, and wiggled them slowly. I rolled my eyes, he would be a guy right now. I leaned in and kissed him. The kiss was soft and wet. It was getting more heated as we heard noises from the loft. We froze our lips attached. We slowly turned towards the loft and got an eye full.
"Oh god." I whispered, it was like an accident I just couldn't look away, clothes being tossed, moans and pants echoed through the apartment. Whispered sentiments of love.
I heard Dylan chuckle as he pulled me into the bedroom, "Let them make up." he whispered as he shut the bedroom door. I leaned against the dresser watching him. It took about 3 seconds to cross the room and throw my arms around Dylan. We tumbled towards the bed having our own moment. Damn that was a good song, I thought. I pretty sure anyone who heard it was probably getting busy right now. I giggled as Dylan made a growling noise kissing down my neck bringing me to the present. I loved my life and there was a million reasons I wasn't going to change any of it but the most important one was this man in my arms.
So Angie is moving out. It was uneventful. I didn't want her to cause a rift. I'm loving Tyler and Angie though, I may have to write a spin off with them LOL. A little information from Beverly Hills and Brenda's audition next up. Whoop! Moving right long, we are almost at their year anniversary. Any guess what their going to do. hehehe. Review, I love them and I LIVE for them.