Several days later, Seth decided to go for a walk through the woods. Not something he did often anymore. A year ago, it had been his favorite thing. He'd loved the freedom he felt exploring the woods as a wolf, being able to sense everything more acutely than he had as a child.
For the most part, he'd stopped coming around the time things had happened with Al. At first it had been because of the increased chance he would run into Al and not know what to say. Then the idea hadn't held the same appeal as it had in the past. Few things felt as bright or appealing these days.
Today though, he felt like exploring again. He hadn't planned to go back to the clearing when he had set out. He'd planned to get thoroughly lost and find his way back home later. Somehow, his body had sent him to the clearing instead. He hadn't realized how familiar of a path he was following until he began to see the signs that the clearing was up ahead.
He froze in shock when he realized. He glanced around the forest as if checking to see if anyone had been around to see his embarrassing mistake. With a sigh, he stared in the direction of the clearing. It wasn't yet in sight, but he knew it was there. Its presence weighed heavily on his mind.
Seth could go towards the clearing or away from it, but he couldn't stand in one spot forever. He still hadn't made a decision when his feet took the first step forward. Steadily, the clearing came into view, and Seth froze again when he noticed the person sitting there.
Al. Al under their tree. It was achingly familiar despite the fact that Seth hadn't seen the sight in ages. Al stared at him with wide eyes, as surprised by Seth's presence as Seth was his.
"Um, hi," Seth said.
He felt like an intruder. Vaguely, he could recall that he was the one who had first led Al here. Maybe that should have meant he had a claim over this small patch of land, but seeing Al under their tree long after Seth had last step foot in the clearing made Seth feel like he was trespassing and invading Al's property.
"Hi," Al echoed in greeting, voice quivering enough that it hardly made a sound.
Seth took a step forward, encouraged by the lack of hostility in Al's voice.
They'd reinstated their daily walks home together. Not a day had passed that they hadn't spent those precious minutes together. These days, however, those walks were little more than walks. Few, if any, words were spoken during them. Seth knew that everything that needed to be said was weighing down any potential small talk.
None of that changed, really, whether they were in the clearing or ambling along a road, but being in this special place together felt like progress, albeit accidental progress.
"Can I…?" Seth trailed off. He reached out to motion towards the spot next to Al, but he stopped himself, hand half raised as if the motion had been too sudden.
Al offered him a slight smile and nodded. Seth watched him as he approached, noticing how nervous he looked. He kept fidgeting as Seth got closer, unable to sit still. Seth slid down the tree, sitting in the spot that shouldn't have felt familiar after so long.
This clearing had gone through multiple transformations with the seasons since he'd last been here. So much of it was new to him: each individual flower, each animal (as far as he knew). Every living thing except the trees likely hadn't been around last time, but it looked the same.
And Al's presence next to him was familiar. The warmth radiating off his skin. Seth swore it felt different than the warmth of any of the other wolves. Al's unique scent. The way he moved. All of it felt so much like Al.
At the same time, Seth was acutely aware that they weren't touching. There hadn't been any touching in a long time. It had become such a staple of their relationship before their falling out that even after so long it felt strange to sit close but not touch. It was like Seth could feel every movement Al made, but neither of them made any attempt to close what space remained between them.
That was still too big of a leap. Besides, Seth knew that talking was more important. It was the real distance between them, and any bridge they built towards touching would come crumbling down if the right words weren't said.
"Happy birthday," Seth muttered.
It was the expected sentiment, but Seth felt lucky to be able to deliver it. Despite the party that he would be attending in two days, he hadn't been sure he would have a chance to say it to Al.
"Thank you," Al replied softly, his head tilted downward in embarrassment.
Seth didn't know how to tell Al that his birthday was the reason he was out here in the first place. It had gotten him in a strange, restless mood, and he'd been unable to contain himself. Being out in the woods had felt like the only escape.
He would have expected Al to be with his parents or Nick. Not alone in the clearing on today of all days. He didn't know how to ask Al about that anymore without coming across as rude. It made him nervous thinking about why Al could have wanted to be alone today instead of with people who cared about him. Although, Seth realized, he knew nothing about what was currently going on between Al and his parents. The thought made his stomach twist.
They were quiet for a long moment, not unlike their walks, yet there was something different in the air between them. The expectation that had come to hang around them felt stronger. Like it would suffocate them soon if they didn't act on their thoughts and worries.
It had to be today. Seth couldn't wait any longer, and he wasn't sure that Al could either.
"I'm really stupid," Al whispered before Seth could speak. Seth stared at him with wide eyes, not able to believe they were beginning to have this conversation. It felt like a dream. Or maybe a nightmare. He couldn't be sure yet.
"We both did some stupid stuff," Seth relented. Months ago, he would have felt satisfied with hearing Al say those words. Now… "I just want to forget about it," he told Al. "It was in the past. We were both scared as fuck obviously. We said shit we shouldn't have. We were both stupid."
The fear on Al's face was replaced with a bright smile. There was a spark of an emotion that Seth wasn't quite used to in his eyes. It reminded him of that day long ago when they had kissed.
"I was scared as fuck," Al agreed. "And I knew you were too, so I don't know why I did everything that I did. Insecure, I guess."
Seth couldn't help but snort at that. "You were insecure? There's no way you were more insecure than I was."
Al looked confused. "You were insecure?"
"You never noticed?" Seth's brow furrowed. "I was terrified of everything. There was coming out and whatever, but there was also my feelings for you. You're the only person I've ever liked. At least that I've ever met, which is the only stuff that counts. And I worked myself up way too much thinking that meant that anything between us was doomed."
He'd been scared to admit this out loud, but it flowed easily, encouraged along by the intense way Al soaked it in.
"At first I was scared that I only liked you because you were the first guy I had a chance of being with, so I was mad at myself." Al frowned at that. "After a while, it was obvious that I just really fucking liked you, but then I started to worry that, if you did like me back, maybe it was because I was the only guy you could date too. So I'd only be your consolation prize or something.
"I know it sounds stupid."
"It does," Al agreed, causing Seth's stomach to twist into knots. But Al shifted closer, pressing his body into Seth's. "Obviously I don't like you just because there's no one else. I don't even know how that would be possible. You're amazing."
Seth tried not to reveal how his entire body reacted to those words.
He tried to joke. "Al, you've hardly spoken to me in months."
Al laughed and leaned over to rest his head on Seth's shoulder. It felt nice. Warm and comforting.
"We established that I'm an idiot, and that was part of it," Al said. "I wouldn't have done that if I didn't like you half as much as I do. You scared me too."
He trailed his fingers along Seth's arm, making Seth shiver.
"How did I scare you?"
Al lifted his head and shot Seth a look that caused an intense feeling of want to surge through Seth's body.
"You're terrifying, Seth," Al whispered. His face was only a fraction of an inch away from Seth's. Seth could feel his breath on his face as he spoke. "I like you so much, and it scares me. All the stuff you said, I thought stuff like that too. Like, how stupid it was for me to like the first gay guy I know and how maybe you'd just want to be with me because I'm your only option."
"I don't," Seth interjected. He needed Al to believe him with every fiber of his being.
Al grinned. "I get that now, I think. But back then I didn't. I think part of the reason I overreacted was because I was convinced something was going to go wrong. I got caught up in my fears and didn't stop to think that I was the one making things go wrong."
"We were," Seth corrected him. "I hadn't thought about it like that, but yeah, I think I did that too. It makes sense."
They both looked at each other for a moment. Al was so close. Seth would barely have to lean forward and their lips would brush against each other.
"Can I kiss you again?" Al asked.
Every cell in Seth's body was on high alert. He nodded his head, and leaned in to kiss Al. It felt better than the first kiss. This time it felt like warmth and excitement and Al, but it also felt like an end and a beginning in one kiss.
Deep in Seth's core, he knew they were both done being scared. They were ready to move forward with this, with each other.
Seth tugged Al closer, wanting him in his arms, pressed up against him. They stayed like that for ages, even once they'd finished kissing. They marvelled at the feel of each other and the knowledge that they were both taking the chance they had wanted to take all along.
Six Months Later
The October air had begun to get chilly, and this time, Jake hadn't had to remind Seth to wear a jacket to ward off any questions. Still, the article of clothing felt as useless as always. He made enough of his own heat, and if he hadn't, Al's hand in his was warm enough.
He listened as Al talked about his team winning a basketball game in PE.
Sometimes, Seth worried. Come May he would graduate, and his and Al's walks home from school would be a thing of the past. He still didn't know what he would do after graduation. College had always been an abstract possibility in his head, but knowing he might be far away from Al worried him.
There were nights where he'd lie awake worrying about it.
He'd begun to frown as Al spoke. Seth noticed the way Al watched him like he'd asked a question Seth hadn't picked up on.
"Sorry. Just thinking."
Al smiled like he knew what had been on Seth's mind. And he probably did. They'd talked about it. Secrets weren't an option after what they'd put themselves through. Seth shared his deepest fears about leaving Al and Al moving on because he knew the alternative was worse, no matter how embarrassed he felt when he first voiced his feelings.
Al squeezed his hand and began leading Seth off the road and into the woods. Seth grinned. They didn't go to the clearing most days after school. They might have made the trip once a week, although it was always where they spent a good deal of their weekends.
In the back of his mind, Seth knew he had homework he should have been doing at home, but he pushed it from his thoughts.
This was Al's way of reminding Seth how much they cared about each other. Neither one of them could see the future. It often didn't feel any more certain than it had a year ago. But now he could hold onto Al while they waited for it, and that made a world of difference.
A/N: I hope everyone enjoyed the conclusion of the story. Reminder that this story takes place during my other Twilight stories: the Forever series. This final chapter happens during the events of You and I Could Live Forever, and that story is already entirely posted. If anyone happens to have read it, then you would have gotten a pretty big clue about Seth and Al's relationship as Seth and Leah discuss the fact that the two of them are dating and happy.
Currently, I'm writing the fourth story in that series, and even though Leah's the main character, Seth and Al (but especially Seth) has an important role to play in that one. They both kind of got relegated to the background for the third one because I was writing this story and didn't want to blatantly give away how this ended. Now that that's not a problem though, anyone who reads the fourth story will see a lot more of them. I'm going to start posting it this summer, so look out for that if you're interested.