programming is so hard urggg
HOLY BALLS OF BEEF WE'VE REACHED 25! QUARTER QUELL TIME! *shot*
Let's play a Hetalia quiz to celebrate the fact that I actually got this far! There will be three winners, the gold winner will get a 75 number list in this fic for a character of their choice (does not matter if they already have a list or not but picking new characters will be appreciated. OCs not allowed) , the silver winner will get a 50 number list, and the bronze winner will receive a 25 number list.
LET'S PLAY
1. What's the name of America's alien friend?
2. What does Norway's curl represent?
3. Who is the tallest micronation?
4. Who taught Vietnam how to smile and how?
5. Belarus can't eat gourmet food every day due to her bad economy. What does she often eat instead as a cheap replacement?
6. What kind of bark does Molossia's dog make?
7. What's the name of Luxembourg's dog?
8. How did Ladonia receive his scar?
9. Hanatamago wasn't going to be named Hanatamago. Name a rejected name that Finland came up with!
10. What are the flowers in Hungary's hair supposed to represent?
11. Is Egypt's pet dog male or female?
12. Switzerland has three pet goats. Name one of them.
The deadline is July 18th so don't forget!
Anyway IMMA LET YOU GO READ BUT BEFORE YOU DO there are going to be a lot of references to and a small amount of repeats from Cyprus's list since they have interacted with each other for so long (for the better or the worse). Now you may continue! Enjoy!
100 things I, Turkey, cannot do.
1. I cannot brag how the world's most beautiful horse is Turkish.
2. Cyprus would throw me into a closet for being obnoxious.
3. I cannot dance around the Meeting Room singing "Istanbul, not Constantinople".
4. It's not my fault Greece is such a poor loser!
5. I cannot create a bonfire in the Meeting Room to roast kebabs.
6. Cyprus would throw me into a closet for ignoring safety rules.
7. Ungrateful brat…
8. Which reminds me, I cannot call any of my former territories ungrateful brats.
9. I am not allowed ask anybody to bathe with me.
10. Awww, don't you think you're not appreciating my generous offer enough? ;)
11. If Greece and Hungary attempt to convince America to bring Thanksgiving over to Europe so they can put me in a giant turkey suit one more time, I'll dye their hair vomit green!
12. Note to self: Do not get caught.
13. If caught, reply to any accusations that I'm doing this because I love them.
14. Yeah right
15. When in the presence of Germany I am not to comment that Hitler's mom looks like Michael Cera.
16. Cyprus would throw me into a closet for being insensitive.
17. I cannot pay Prussia to invade Greece's vital regions.
18. The same can be said for photoshopping a loaf of feta bread onto Greece's face.
19. I cannot brag that St Nicholas actually lived in Turkey.
20. Finland is terrifying, trust me.
21. I cannot call myself the Tulip King.
22. Netherlands would stand up to challenge me for title.
23. And we would destroy a lot of furniture in our fight to be the Tulip King.
24. And then we would have to pay for a hella lot of furniture.
25. And my economy has only just recovered.
26. But I always be the Tulip King.
27. I cannot ask England if I should pour milk or tea first.
28. He will launch into a 5 hour long epic speech debating the pros and cons of pouring the milk first.
27. And then he will proceed to waste 5 more hours of my life by intensively debating the pros and cons of pouring tea first.
28. I'll have my chai with no milk at all, thank you!
29. I cannot call Greece a bumblefuck.
30. Even if he is a bumblefuck.
31. I cannot knock down the walls of the Meeting Room in an attempt to find an ancient underground city.
32. It worked for that one guy!
33. Avoid America at costs in the mention of 'turkey, the bird'.
34. (Ironically, there are no turkeys in my place)
35. I cannot tweet in the presence of my boss.
36. Nor can I watch Youtube in his presence.
37. (And Greece calls me restrictive...)
38. Hookah is bad for me.
39. So is eating too many hazelnuts.
40. Fasting for Ramadan is significantly harder when in the presence of sweets.
41. It's significantly harder for Egypt too because he's the one who has to restrain me from stuffing my face with baklava and rosewater candies.
42. I cannot remind Greece that his beloved moussaka came from me.
43. Ungrateful brat
44. I cannot bake a cake to celebrate the fall of Constantinople.
45. Especially if I decide to show it off to Greece.
46. Cyprus would kick me into a closet.
47. I swear one day I'm going to find out why there's so many closets for Cyprus to kick me into
48. I cannot put clip-on ponytails.
49. I'M SADIKU ADNANTSUNE
50. (What? It was for Japan.)
51. I cannot climb up on the Meeting Table and order everybody to worship my imperial butt.
52. (France would gladly do so though…)
53. I cannot call Bulgaria "Buttgaria".
54. Nor can I call Austria "Asstria".
55. But that ass though…
56. I cannot go around running screaming "ALLAH TAKE THE WHEEL".
57. The same can be said for running around and singing the Turkish version of Prince Ali in the middle of the night.
58. I had too much sugar…
59. I cannot punch America for mistaking me to be Turkmenistan.
60. Nor can I punch him for mistaking me to be Armenia.
61. Do not let Mongolia watch Crashcourse when he is drunk.
62. If this does happen to occur, be prepared for five hours of him shouting, "I AM THE EXCEPTION!"
63. (Note to self: Buy earplugs to be fully prepared.)
64. I cannot get Greece blackout drunk and attempt to send him to a morgue.
65. And the hospital does not accept organs from living people.
66. I cannot threaten to shove baklava up anyone's ass.
67. Because that would waste some perfectly good baklava.
68. Oh, and also because it's publicly obscene.
69. Do not tell any dirty jokes about this number to TRNC.
70. He would tell Cyprus.
71. And Cyprus would kick me into a closet, as we all know.
72. I cannot reply "is that an innuendo" to everything.
73. No matter how funny it is.
74. Not every meal is a barbecue opportunity.
75. The grill is not an essential kitchen tool.
76. I cannot skip World Meetings to watch soap operas
77. Bullshit! Don't fall for her, Recep! She only wants you for your money!
78. ...I really should stop marathoning soap operas.
79. The same can be said for Netflix.
80. I cannot borrow Egypt's eyeliner without asking first.
81. What's the point of asking if he'll just say no?!
82. *Egypt: What's the point of using it if you're just going to put that mask over it?!*
83. Never offer to oil wrestle with France when he's drunk.
84. Never offer to oil wrestle with anyone drunk, for that matter.
85. I cannot go up to America and ask him to say, "Muvaffakiyetsizleştiricileştiriveremeyebileceklerimizdenmişsinizcesine", five times fast.
86. England would get mad at me for putting him off even more.
87. Never mention my Batman province to America.
88. I cannot walk up to the Balkans and say, "Look at all those nations I used to own!".
89. That is insensitive and impolite.
90. I cannot bring in my crowd-control hose truck to a World Meeting.
91. Especially if I decide to have a little fun with it.
92. By spraying water everywhere.
93. Specifically Greece's face.
94. And his cats.
95. Definitely his cats.
96. I am not allowed to go around spreading the fact that Bulgaria once said "the bigger, the better".
97. He was talking about lions and cats, but who cares? As long as it gets tweets.
98. And most important of all...
99. I must never stop being a hot as hell badass.
100. YEAH YOU WANT THIS DON'T YOU AUSTRIA
19-20: Whoa what. Yeah, Santa wasn't a jolly old man who stuffed his face with mince pies, he was a real man who was born and lived in what is now Turkey. He was a wealthy guy who wanted to help the poor but didn't want to be recognized for his deed. He climbed roofs and dropped gold coins down people's chimneys to bypass being recognized, but one day he was caught, so everyone knew about his kind acts. He was only made into a saint after his death though.
21-26: Turkey is actually the nation that introduced tulips into Europe but Netherlands has had a lot culture revolving their nationally beloved tulips LOL.
31-32: A guy in Turkey, 1963, knocked down one of the walls of his home and behind it, discovered a room that led to a tunnel system that led to more cave rooms. Turns out, he had found the ancient Derinkuyu underground city.
35-37: Turkey's current Prime Minister has banned Youtube and Twitter. However, most Turks have found their way around this so the number of tweets and youtube subs coming out turkey has not changed.
39: Turkey imports 80% of the world's hazelnuts and was the first to do so.
61-63: For non-die-hard Crashcourse fans, a running joke in the series to roll the Mongol-tage whenever the Mongols do something that is only unique to them (invading Russia in winter successfully, invading Afghanistan and holding on to them, etc).
74-75: In Turkey, the grill can be used at any meal of day and there's even a whole restaurant dedicated to the grill where you get a grill and some raw meat. The rest is up to you to decide!
83-84: Oil wrestling is Turkey's national sport and this was also mentioned in France's list.
85-86: Muvaffakiyetsizleştiricileştiriveremeyebileceklerimizdenmişsinizcesine is the longest word in Turkish and means "as if you are from those we may not be able to easily make a maker of unsuccessful ones". It's used in a story that is not entirely clear to me either, but I'll put it here. Hopefully, you'll be able to understand it better than me.
"We are in a teachers' training school that has evil purposes. How to make unsuccessful ones is being taught to the teachers who are being educated in that school. So, teachers are educated as makers of unsuccessful ones. However, one of those teachers refuses to be maker of unsuccessful ones, in other words, to be made a maker of unsuccessful ones; he talks about and criticizes the school's stand on the issue. The headmaster who thinks every teacher can be made easily/quickly into a maker of unsuccessful ones gets angry. He invites the teacher to his room and says "You are talking as if you were one of those we can not easily/quickly turn into a maker of unsuccessful ones, right?"
88-89: Turkey once was the Ottoman Empire and ruled over much of North Africa, Southeastern Europe (Balkans), and the coastal areas of the Middle East, though losing most of that by the early 20th century.
90-95: I wrote about this in my other fic, "444 Things to Avoid Doing" in Chapter 15, but Turkey has a truck with a huge hose on top of it to control the recent surge in riots and protests.