Warning: AU –Second World War
M-Rated!Contains coarse language, violent imaginary related to the context of war, and sex.
I do not own South Park. I do not own anything. I wish I was that f* genius!
Weeks flew by and the nature slowly changed. Green was replaced by red and yellow, as trees idly hung onto the beautiful colors, the last reminiscent of a warm summer. But the bitter wind stole them away, emptying their branches, bringing the leaves into a whirling dance through the skies, until they dizzily landed on the muddy ground and created a golden carpet. The wind became colder by the passing day. It announced a typical winter, with bitter winds and low temperatures. Herr Cartman and Kyle only had to walk a small piece from the car to the camp's headquarters, but the blister cold pierced through even the warmest coat. They gladly sighed when they entered the building, rubbing their cold hands.
After months of patient and diligent work, Kyle finally had the final numbers of the camp's financial balance. It had shocked Herr Cartman, not only to discover the colossal financial loopholes undergone by , but above all, to realize he hadn't been the only one making frauds. Kyle had presented him more than enough documents that evidenced the corrupted work of several bureaus. Herr Cartman contacted immediately the head of the SS officers, who ordered him to do whatever was needed to correct this situation. The Ministry was never to learn about such a financial disaster. And so, the fat Nazi brought his brilliant bookkeeper with him and the files witnessing all the crimes, to Dachau's headquarters. The lawbreakers were already identified and their punishment would be immediate. What he never expected was the disconcerting reaction of the perpetrators.
As soon as Herr Cartman steeped in the building and informed the Head of the Administrative Department about the frauds, panic broke out. The word fraud was repeated from accountant to accountant, echoed from office to office. New words were spread through the air like an infectious disease. Discovered, punishment and death were screamed by the offenders, who started running around madly. Fear blinded them. Civil men turned into barbarous beasts. They desperately tried to escape the building, resourcing to hysteria, stupidity and violence. Some shot their brains on the spot, many murdered brutally their colleges to get them out of the way, while others jumped the from their office, which were a few floors high, smashing bloodily on the floor. Herr Cartman and Kyle stared wide eyed and open mouth at the messy scenario of blood and dismembered bodies.
"Holy crap!" Kyle blurted in pure shock.
"Yeah…that was…uh..." Herr Cartman shook his head, realizing he sounded stupid, but he was too shocked and lost of words. He suddenly saw the two guards that were standing opposite him, looking equally shaken. "Respect meh authorita!" The SS yelled out the blue, probably because he sensed his authority had absolutely no effect the past minutes whatsoever. There was a heavy silence and the fat Nazi felt uncomfortable under the confusing stare the two soldiers. "I'll be needing to talk to somebody, anybody of the administrative department."
"Ehm…Sir, there is nobody left from the administrative department. They are all…dead." One of the guards awkwardly said.
"Shit!" The fat Nazi yelled. "Who the fuck will to the bookkeeping now?" He asked outraged. He suddenly turned to Kyle, looking hopeful.
"No! Herr Cartman! It is physically impossible!" Kyle practically screamed. "I haven't managed to reorganize all of 's crap yet, I will never be able to restructure all the camp's administrative offices. It's too much!"
"Well, contracting new bookkeepers is out of the question. All they'll do is find new ways to steal money. Detour it into some ghost account or some similar shit!" The fat Nazi complained loudly.
"That's it! You have to find people that have no way in stealing money! People with no connections with the exterior!" Kyle excitedly said.
"Nice going, Kalh. Where am I going to find reliable bookkeepers with no contact with the outside world…" He froze at his own chain of thoughts. "Jews!"
"That's brilliant, Herr Cartman!" One of the soldiers said looking jubilant. "The archive has the files from everybody that entered this camp. Their jobs are one of the rapport items."
"And the best part is, we don't even have to pay them!" The second guard happily concluded. Kyle had to suppress a chuckle, while the fat Nazi rolled his eyes, since that was an topic he enjoyed rubbing on Kyle's face just to piss him off.
"Yeah, well, that's very… suitable. But what about that enormous debt the camp has? How the hell are we going to restore all that money?" Herr Cartman whined worriedly.
"Sell Jews." The two officers said in unison and both teenagers stated at them shocked. One finding the whole concept quite degenerative, while the other was too possessive to accept such an option. "I know there are several party members buying Jews from other camps. They buy them so they work as slaves in their factories." The first guard explained.
"And the best part is, they don't even have to pay them!" The second soldier happily said. Both Kyle and Herr Cartman repressed the urge to groan and roll the eyes.
"They are offering good money." The first guard added. Herr Cartman and Kyle switched looks. None truly liking the idea for two completely different reasons.
"Well, I guess I have no other option." Herr Cartman finally said, remembering the words of his superior. He had to solve this situation at any cost. "Very well. Give me the necessary contacts. I'll handle the rest." Herr Cartman begrudgingly said, for the delight of the other two Nazis, who immediately turned around and marched to get the files.
"Herr Cartman, this is wrong!" Kyle yelled at him, his fists already balled up. The fat Nazi closed his eyes and gave a heavy sight.
"Kalh, I have no option. I too don't like the idea of selling them away either." He confessed and Kyle looked surprised, not expecting him to agree with his opinion. "Because they are meh Jews! And meh Jews should stay and suffer in meh camp and not some in other's crappy factory!"
"Arg! You're such an asshole!" Kyle accused but Herr Cartman hurriedly put his hand in front of the redhead's mouth.
"Shhhh! You idiot! You're not at home!" He whispered in a warning voice and saw Kyle's eyes widen at the realization. He took his hand away and the Jew looked embarrassed for his carelessness. "But, you understand I'll have to punish you for that insult." Herr Cartman said in a mischievous tone. Kyle rolled his eyes, but was unable to hide a smile and a blush, knowing exactly what kind of punishment Herr Cartman had in mind.
…
December arrived cold and windy, but inside Herr Cartman's house, it was warm and cozy. A happy and festive atmosphere reigned the house as everybody prepared for Christmas. Chef was busy with the cooking, Alfred was busy with the orientation of the cleaning maid's tasks. Kyle was in the living room, unpacking some boxes and Herr Cartman was talking loudly on his office phone.
"That's really great…Okay…See ya tonight then." The fat Nazi put down the phone and walked to the living room looking pleased. He entered and admired the large pine tree standing prominently on a corner of the living room. "Ah, I love this time of the year." He whispered to himself.
Kyle chuckled at the words, but his smile was a sad one. As a Jew, he didn't celebrate Christmas, but Hanukkah. Nevertheless, in the same way as Christians, the feast brought people together in their homes and santuaries. This would be his fist Hanukkah without his parents and brother. But he knew they were fine and well. Chef always managed to switch some words with his family when he went to the camp's main kitchens and always reported everything to the Jew.
Kyle sighed, missing his family, but also missing his friends, in particular Stan. The dark haired boy had remained loyal to their friendship, even after all the Nazi's maneuvers in turning the German people against the Jewish race. He always visited Kyle in the small attic whenever it was possible and brought a bit of hope with him. Kyle hung a glass red ball on the tree with a sad sigh. He had decorated Christmas trees so often in Stan's home, a memory that brought him back to carefree days, to a time when the world was simple and a happy place to be in. Herr Cartman noticed the Jew's gloom. He walked from behind him, wrapped his fat arms around the redhead and placed a kiss on his cheek. Kyle smiled from the tender gesture.
"Not so sad, Jew. You'll ruin the atmosphere." Herr Cartman whispered in his ear and Kyle closed his eyes, enjoying the warm breath on his neck.
"Who's coming tonight?" Kyle asked, not wanting to talk about his mood and thus, changing the subject.
"You know, the usual. Your girlfriend Bebe, your fan Clyde and your follower Butters. Kyle giggled at the way the fat Nazi referred to his friends. "And Tweek. You don't know him, but he's cool"
"What about Craig?" Kyle asked unsure, his hands resting on the Nazi's arms, seeking the reassurance of protection.
"That son-of-a-bitch is not invited, of course! He won't show up. Unless he has a death wish." Herr Cartman blurted upset and Kyle turned around to plant a kiss on the taller boy's nose.
"Good." The redhead said and they remained a while standing quietly, their arms wrapped around each other, their foreheads pressed together. They did this often, for some months now, just holding each other close, enjoying the warm feeling of being together.
"Oh yeah. I'm also inviting this new guy!" Herr Cartman suddenly remembered. "He's Clyde's friend and he's starting a clothing factory. I figured out he might need some help finding new employees, so I said to meh own buttons, why not invite him too? He might want to buy me a few Jews…Besides, he seems to be a cool guy, since Clyde praises him all the time."
"Hum…I guess we shall see." Kyle lazily said, the idea the fat Nazi had to resource into selling people like trade to compensate the camp's financial problem still unsettling him.
"Oh, and you're playing the violin tonight."
"Naturally" Kyle replied with a grin.
…
The first guests to arrive were Butters and Tweek. Alfred accompanied them to the living room, where the Nazi and the Jew were discussing the last details for the evening's repertoire.
"Ah! Butters, Tweek. Come in and make yourselves comfortable. The Jew and I were just finished. Thank you Kalh, you may leave now." Herr Cartman dismissed the redhead, acting in his selfish dickhead manner, not wanting to raise any suspicions about his attraction for the Jew. So Kyle, walked to the door.
"Eh, Kyle." Butters called, just before the redhead opened the door. "I brought my clarinet tonight. Uh…maybe we could play something together." He said shyly and unsure. Kyle smiled kindly.
"Yeah, sounds great." He said.
"Ugh…Aaarg!" Kyle flinched at the scream coming from the other blond boy. "Aaarg!…Nice tree Cartman…ugh!" Tweek said, while he blinked and shook his head while staring at the tree. Kyle noticed shocked that his whole body was shaking relentlessly and looked worriedly at Herr Cartman.
"Take no notice. Tweek is, let's say, the nervous type." The fat Nazi said walking to Kyle and then leaned a bit over so he was closer to the Jew's ear. "He drinks dozens of coffees a day. That's why he's always so frenzied." The redhead nodded looking surprised and watched Tweek sit next to Butters, fidgeting and twitching constantly, blinking his eyes nervously and once in a while he shook his head and emitted another yell. Now that he looked better, Kyle noticed the strange boy had his expensive coat buttoned incorrectly and his hair was wild, standing up at to all sides.
"I just hope he doesn't distract me too much, later on." Kyle murmured.
"I'll restrain him, if that should happen." The fat Nazi smirked. "Now get your Jewish ass out of here!" He said with a more authoritative manner, but Kyle knew he was teasing and walked out with a grin plastered on his face. He had the feeling he was going to enjoy this evening.
A/N
Not entirely satisfied with this chapter, maybe because it is a bridge between the events from the former and the following chapters and I have the general feeling everything remained a bit hasty and loosened. But it might just be me...
Anyway, the first part of the chapter is absolutely 100% influenced by the trilogy epiodes of the brilliant SP "Black Friday". I just couldn't resist and I had to write this absurdly Sout Parkish bloodbath scene! Oh, and Halloween might have played a role too XD (mwahahahahah)