A Recap

(In case you're just tuning in…)

After Olivia kisses Brian in the hospital, she and Brian talk. Brian confesses that he's never fallen out of love with Olivia and asks her to stay with him at the hospital. Olivia hesitates, and Brian insists that Olivia hasn't changed because she's still married to her job. Olivia decides to prove him wrong and stay. Later on, she's interrupted by Nick, who claims to have come and apologize to Brian, and is shocked to see Olivia beside Brian's hospital bed. He gives Olivia crap, and Brian says that Nick's lucky that he's confined to a hospital bed, because otherwise he would be a dead man. Nick leaves, not without telling Olivia that she needs to do her job, and Olivia and Brian discuss Nick's immaturity.

Four days pass, and Brian calls Olivia to tell her that he's out of the hospital. She's agreed to be his ride home from the hospital. She isn't able to leave the precinct without being confronted by John, who's been filling in as captain now that Harris has better places to be, and Nick. John is suspicious, and Nick tells him that she's going to see Brian. John wants to know why Olivia didn't tell him that she was seeing Brian and insists he always thought they'd be cute together. Olivia escapes any further confrontation.

She meets Brian at the hospital and takes him to her apartment. That's when Olivia receives the first mysterious phone call, where the caller calls and hangs up. Olivia just assumes the person didn't want to talk to her, and she carries on with Brian. They agree not to have sex until Brian is in a little better condition, then the phone rings again. The mystery caller hangs up again, then immediately after her phone rings again. She answers the call hastily, only to discover that it's Munch. Munch is concerned for Olivia and orders she takes two weeks off work.

The next day, Olivia and Brian discuss Olivia's biological clock and marriage. Olivia is caught off guard when Brian suddenly proposes. After some careful thinking, she accepts. She realizes this is her last chance to have a family of her own. Olivia continues to be pestered by the mystery caller.

The next morning, Olivia is woken by Amanda, who was "in the neighborhood." Olivia tells Amanda about the mystery phone call and accuses Nick. Olivia asks Amanda to check into the phone number that's calling her. Later, she and Brian go "ring shopping," where they pick out an engagement ring. While they're shopping, the mystery caller calls, and Olivia discovers that it's been Elliot calling her. Elliot asks to meet her at the coffee shop that they used to go to all the time.

Brian is hesitant about letting Olivia go alone, but she insists that she doesn't need protection. She meets Elliot, where he informs her of what's going on in his life. He tells her that he spiraled downward after leaving the force. He is divorced, Kathy lives in Maine, Maureen is pregnant, Dickie is in the Army, Lizzie is a sophomore at Hudson, Kathleen is in Law school, and he never sees Eli, who lives with his mother. Kathleen is his only child who's speaking to him.

That's when Elliot breaks his tragic news. He's dying of leukemia. He begs Olivia not to tell anyone. He tells her that he doesn't want to be a burden to anyone. They have a tearful goodbye.

Olivia returns home a wreck. She is confronted by Brian, and that's the night that they begin trying to conceive.

Two weeks pass, and Olivia receives a phone call from Nick. There was a Jane Doe rape victim discovered with Olivia's card. Olivia and Brian meet Nick at the morgue and Olivia identifies the Jane Doe as Elizabeth Stabler. It's all downhill from here.

Olivia calls Kathleen and has her identify her sister. She breaks down while talking to Kathleen and Munch pulls her off the case. They all worry about how Elliot will handle learning of Elizabeth's death. Olivia promised Kathleen that she will tell Elliot.

As expected, Elliot is a wreck when Olivia tells him about Elizabeth. He corners her and takes her gun from its latch. That's when he shoots himself in front of Olivia, who emotionally falls apart.

The police eventually arrive at the scene and Olivia is brought to One Police Plaza where she is subject to a line of questioning. She's accused of murdering Elliot Stabler, and then later accused of being involved with Elizabeth's murder.

Afterward, she realizes her period is late and tells Brian. She purchases two pregnancy tests, and she and Brian go out to eat. She decides to wait until morning to take the pregnancy test, because that's when they are supposed to be most accurate. She and Brian fall asleep, and the next morning they're awakened by Fin. Fin sees the pregnancy tests and insists Olivia takes one. She does, only to receive a negative result.

Olivia and Fin go on a walk; and Fin informs Olivia that they're looking at Max Matazarro for Elizabeth's murder. He was recently released from the state penitentiary after being sentenced three years ago for killing his girlfriend. The case with Elliot's, and they have reason to believe that he became involved with Lizzie to get revenge against Elliot. They return to Olivia's apartment to find Ed Tucker, who has more questions for Olivia. He orders that Fin return to work, telling him that Captain Harris is back. He interrogates Olivia and takes her clothes from the day before. After Tucker leaves, Olivia and Brian fight, and Olivia tells him to leave because she needs some time to herself.

Olivia later calls Kathleen, only to get yelled at by Kathy. Kathleen calls her back, and they agree to meet in Central Park. During their meeting, Kathleen informs Olivia that Maureen gave Lizzie Olivia's card because Lizzie had expressed concern lately. Olivia later goes back to her apartment and falls asleep from exhaustion. When she wakes up, she takes the second pregnancy test and is baffled to see a positive result. She immediately decides to keep the pregnancy a secret until she's absolutely positive she's pregnant and has it confirmed by a doctor.

She goes in the living room and turns on the television, nervous of what she might see on the news. That's when sees Zara Amaro's face on her screen. She's informed that her partner has murdered his wife. She soon receives a phone call from Fin, telling her that the entire squad room is on lockdown and IAB likely has tabs on their lines. After she hangs up the phone with Fin, she receives a phone call from a drunken Brian. She goes to the bar to pick Brian up, where she learns that he's resigned from the police force. She takes him back to her apartment, only to find Ed Tucker again.

She puts Brian to sleep, then talks to Ed Tucker. She tells him she has nothing to hide, and she knows nothing about Nick's whereabouts. Tucker departs, telling her that she's expected back at work in two days, and then Olivia goes to bed. When she wakes, Brian is still asleep, and his vomit is all over her bathroom. She cleans it up, making herself nauseous. Memories of her childhood flash in her head.

We left off with Olivia deciding to go to the doctor to find out once and for all if she's pregnant…

Chapter 25

Brian,

I went to run a few errands. Don't worry about me. See you later.

Love,

Liv

Olivia posted the short note on the refrigerator, where she was sure Brian would go eventually. In the days since Brian had basically moved in, her refrigerator had been the house to more food than it ever had since she'd moved in. Her refrigerator wasn't the only appliance in her apartment seeing more use, but her stove had seen more use, too. Olivia had never cooked so much in her life.

Her doctor told her that she could squeeze her in, and Olivia—not in the mood to drive—decided to catch a cab to the clinic.

The waiting room was half full when she arrived. She approached the front desk without looking too closely at anyone in the room.

"May I help you?" the receptionist asked.

"Yeah, I just called a little while ago. I have an appointment with Dr. Mills. My name is Olivia Benson."

"Ah, yes." The woman was typing as she spoke. "Olivia Benson, it looks like we haven't seen you in over four years. We'll need you to fill out some paperwork to verify that your information is up-to-date." She handed Olivia a clipboard. Olivia took the clipboard and grabbed a pen from the jar on the desk and quickly filled out the form. Her address was different, but everything else remained the same. When she completed the paperwork, she handed the clipboard back to the receptionist.

"Here you go," Olivia said.

"Thank you, please take a seat and we'll let you know when the doctor is ready."

Olivia turned around and took a seat not far from the front desk. Moments after she sat down, she heard someone call her name. "Olivia?"

She turned her head toward the voice, aimlessly looking for who was calling her name. Who could it be? Olivia's heart raced, hoping it wasn't someone from work. She wasn't prepared to explain why she was at the clinic.

Then her heart fell when she saw an all-too familiar face. The pale-blue eyed, dirty-blonde haired woman was staring at her. A pregnant woman who shared similar features sat next to her: Kathy and Maureen. What were the odds? Olivia shuddered, remembering her last conversation with the ex-wife of the late Elliot Stabler.

"Kathy," Olivia whispered, walking toward Kathy. She looked at Maureen, "And you must be Maureen."

"It's been a while, Olivia," Maureen answered. "What brings you here?"

"That it has. Just figured I'd come in for my yearly examine. What about you? How are you holding up?" Olivia remembered what Kathleen had told her the day prior.

"Oh, you know…I have a stress test today to make sure the baby isn't under too much stress…I've been on bed rest the last couple days after all that's been happening."

"I'm sorry, Maureen," Olivia said, apologetically.

Kathy's face blushed. "Olivia, I was going to call you. They told me…everything...that Elliot…killed…" her forehead wrinkled as she uttered the word, and a tear rolled down her cheek as she added, "himself." She paused again and then continued, "Liv, I'm so sorry for the accusations I threw at you. I've just been so stressed out lately, and with losing my daughter and Elliot at the time…it's too much." Tears gushed out of Kathy's eyes and Maureen wrapped her arm around her mother to comfort her.

"Look, I know it's been a hard time for you, Kathy. I don't blame you for blaming me. You had to blame someone, and who better to blame than me? To be honest, I blame myself…"

"Why?" Kathy cried. "Why would you blame yourself unless you pulled the trigger?"

"It was my gun, Kathy. I shouldn't have brought it with me, or I should have fought harder to make sure he didn't take it from me…"

"Olivia, I might not understand a lot about being a cop, but that's part of your job…to carry your weapon. I may have never approved of Elliot having his gun in the house, especially when the kids were young, but it's your job. And you knew El better than I did. Once he makes up his mind, he's going to fulfill it…you couldn't have stopped him. No one could have. I never thought he would stoop so low…I knew he was at rock bottom, and I still left him…it's my fault, Olivia…" Kathy buried her face in her daughter's chest.

"Kathy, how much did the police tell you about the medical examiner's reports?" Olivia asked quietly.

"What do you mean? Just that Elliot shot himself…is there anything they should have told me?" Kathy's soaked eyes gazed at Olivia.

"When I spoke to Elliot two weeks ago, he told me…" Olivia paused, choking back a tear, "he told me that he was dying of leukemia, and he made me promise not to tell anyone. He didn't want to worry you or the rest of your family."

"Leukemia?" Maureen's mouth dropped, and Kathy's face looked like death.

"That … actually … explains everything now," Kathy whispered tearfully.

"Maureen Richardson," a nurse called. At first Olivia did not realize that the nurse was calling Maureen, but when Kathy and Maureen began to stand she put two and two together. Olivia had forgotten that Maureen had married.

"Well, Olivia, it was…nice…seeing you again. I'm truly sorry for everything. Hopefully the next time we see will be under better conditions," Kathy said, grabbing her purse and following her pregnant daughter toward the nurse.

Olivia took a seat again and began to indulge in a magazine. She hoped no one else she knew would show their face as she observed the waiting room empty. After about forty-five minutes, she heard her name, "Olivia Benson." She set the magazine aside and met the short, red-headed nurse.

First, the nurse took her weight, and Olivia clenched her fists when she saw the number on the scale. She wasn't proud of how the number on the scale had grown since she'd last weighed herself four years ago. Her metabolism had begun to slow down, and the donuts had gotten the best of her over the years.

In the room, the nurse took her blood pressure, and Olivia wasn't surprised to learn that it was higher than normal. After the stress she'd been under the past couple of days, she really expected no different.

"Olivia Benson, it's been a long time. You really should come in more often for your yearly physical, especially now that you are over forty. What brings you in today?" Dr. Mills asked when she arrived.

"I want to confirm a pregnancy," Olivia responded. The doctor's eyes widened.

"Have you taken a home pregnancy test?"

"Two. The first one said negative, and the second was positive."

"Well, we can do a blood test, and you'll have the results for certain within twenty-four hours. Now, given your age, if you are pregnant, you are aware that you'll automatically be classified as a high-risk pregnancy."

"I'm aware of that."

"If the results are positive, we'll have further discussion."

The doctor took a blood sample. While she was there, she insisted Olivia have a pap smear. Olivia disliked the idea, but she complied. She had always hated going to the doctor for fear that something could be wrong with her. If she didn't go, then she didn't know. Truthfully, if she was sick, she'd rather not know. To think she'd given Elliot the dickens for not going and getting treatment. That was one thing she and Elliot had always shared in common. They both hated doctors.

She was to expect a phone call within twenty-four hours when she left the clinic. Olivia was waiting for a cab when her phone began to ring. It was one o'clock, so she was expecting Brian. She was surprised when she read Fin's name across the screen.

"Hey, Fin."

"Liv, you're not gonna believe this…"

"What?"

"Ed Tucker is dead."

A/N: I'd had enough requests for Tucker's death, so I figured I would follow through. What's more interesting is how he died, an explanation to come later! FYI, I'm without my laptop for now, but I have everything backed up on my external hard drive. I'll still be writing, just on school computers and my work computer. It's not as convenient, but now all I can do is write, since I can't play The Sims 3. If there are any crazy typos, let me know. I'm not as used to this keyboard as I am my personal laptop.