A/N Hasn't it been a while? I'm sorry but I've been really busy with school work so I couldn't update. I'll try to update the final chapter when I can...
25. Capitol Commonality
[Finn's POV]
The ride to the Capitol is long. Luckily, Carmen and I have one of the luxury cabins which are private so we don't have to encounter any annoying reporters. The bad news is, despite the luxurious items in the compartment, we are both very bored. We spend the majority of the ride sitting on the sofa watching rubbish on the TV. Carmen also wrote back to her sister but we can't send the letter until we reach the Capitol itself.
Carmen is sitting sideways with her back to my left-side, while she reads one of my mother's books that she received enthusiastic permission to borrow. The cover is worn but you can tell it has got pride-of-place in someone's heart and you can see the countless turns of each page and each passing emotion that this very book has felt limitless times. I watch as Carmen's eyes cling and dig their fingernails into each and every word with a pit deep analysis, and the reactions that strike her face from pity to heartache to happiness to worry. Not once have I read this book but I can already predict the plot just from watching her changing expressions.
The flash of light and colour that sparks from the TV is what brings me away from the mesmerising glow of her features in its light. Adverts blurt at me but none had captured my attention like she had. When they slowly come to an end, I find that the channel the TV has currently settled on is CEN (Capitol Entertainment Network) so I decide to watch whatever mind-numbingly boring show is on. Theme music drifts out and a title reading 'Areana and Finton' pops up and immediately I can tell that it's another tacky romantic thing. My suspicions are quickly confirmed when the show begins with a "last time on 'Areena and Finton'" , so I change channels to anything else. I end up on CEN+1 (the repeat channel) to find 'Capitol Cakes' on which I decide is a much more tolerable thing to watch. The show is briefly interrupted by an emergency news broadcast and it not only draws my attention but Carmen's too.
A pale blonde, stout woman appeared on the screen while headlines flicked around beneath her. She straightens her papers, and though her tone shows complete seriousness, there appears to be a slight smile lurking beneath her features.
"Late yesterday evening, the man who was recently brought in for questioning for connections with Ultionem Snow, Jack Nettle aged 43, is said to have admitted to the allegations made. However, his questioning by Officer J. Mallet didn't cease, and he was interrogated further until he released information on the group itself. Here's Joe Anderson with more of the story:"
It cuts from the woman to a man in the streets of the Capitol, who wears a far-too-white suit and pale blue tie which is a complete contrast to the dull street he stands on. His face too seems to have a slight smirk lurking there despite the rain soaking him to the bone.
"Thanks there Silvia. According to the officers involved in the case, he gave up the information reasonably easily and he disclosed information from their plans to people and even went on to talk about where the group could be located. Officers were sent out to investigate the locations and to check that it wasn't simply a trap. Luckily, the officers found said locations, secured them and discovered that the man had indeed been speaking truthfully to Mallet. Some of the people arrested on the scene were in fact wanted by the police, mainly for connections with the organisation, but some for other crimes against Panem. Many arrests were made and many people are now facing very serious terrorist charges. However, we can report that all Panem is now safe from these people and that they will be put away for a very long time. It's believed that various victims, whom have survived the attacks, will be at the hearings. These could include various of our Victor's children such as Finnick Odair Junior and Carmen Mellark. Back to you Sylvia in the studio."
Again it cuts to the blonde woman in the studio who's smile is much more obvious than before as the news has seemingly pleased her for once. I suppose there aren't many days like that on the CEN news.
"Well that's it for our emergency broadcast today folks. Tune in at 10 o'clock for our main news program here on CEN."
Carmen and I silently look at one and other as the information we've just seen sinks into our skin. Slowly relieved smiles creep onto our features and we look just like the pair on the TV did. I still can't quite believe that they've just found all of the members of an organisation that's been around since I was born, in less than twenty-four hours. I mean, they've been looking for these people for years and suddenly they catch all of them at once? It seems far too good to be true.
"We're safe. We're actually safe." She whispers almost disbelievingly.
"I know. Just like that. They have them. No more bombs; no more fear."
And before I know it, she has her hands around my waist and her face buried in my shoulder and she's laughing, she's actually laughing, and the relief flowing through it is so melodic that it melts my very being. We stay like that just holding onto each other, as if the information will cease to exist if we leave each other's arms.
Eventually we drift from each other's embrace but our smiles are still plastered on. We spend the rest of the train ride with her reading her book and I pretending to watch shows like 'Capitol Cakes' while I really just peek at Carmen's face while she reads. God she's beautiful.
Once we pass District One, I know that we're near the Capitol so I get up and go to the window to watch the world rush past us. The countryside landscapes blur into a mesh of colours but it's so amazing to watch. Like they did when I was a child, my thoughts change to what the world outside of Panem is and whether there are people out there and whether they are just as bad as we used to be.
These thoughts die when I feel a familiar pair of soft hands delicately spread over the skin at my waist beneath my pure white shirt. I sense her body pressed up against mine. I turn to look into those intoxicatingly blue eyes and I feel my whole being fall to her will. How can one person have such an effect on me? I turn around and her eyes are still locked with mine almost as if they cannot break and are locked with some eternal spell between us. Her pale hands stills quiver on my tanned skin and the small distance between us becomes even smaller as I lean into her and step closer. Our chests breathe together so our air mingles with the closeness of our lips. I brush that always stray lock of hair back behind her ear and use it to gently float over the skin of her cheek. Still our eyes are locked. My fingers don't leave her face even when the hair is in place and I can feel the atmosphere between us thicken and swallow up every thought that doesn't concern Carmen. Those full red lips – the reddest I've ever seen – smirk up at me and grip my whole attention, drawing me in like a bee to the prettiest flower, and she is definitely the prettiest flower. If people were flowers then she'd be the one that I'd pick. She can't take the waiting any longer as her those perfectly red lips meet mine in fire and passion and every other emotion I've ever felt in my whole life, and every other emotion I've missed in my life; with her I am complete, I'm whole.
Her hands pull me closer; my hands pull her closer. We join. And all that stuff, that stuff that holds us back, it's gone, the stuff that's happened to us and hurt us and drowned us, gone.
We're so close that our hearts beat together, and our lungs breathe together, and our hands pull together, and our lips kiss together. The world is lost to me as my body becomes numb to everything that isn't her. Her smell surrounds me, engulfs me, swallows me up but it makes me feel right.
The feel of the skin beneath my shirt on her hands isn't enough for her anymore as she whips it off me but I barely notice as I'm so caught up in her. How can I possibly be so lucky? She doesn't even stop to take me in like all those other girls, because she is far better than any of them will any be. She wants me for me not for the parts of me; she'd rather have me wholesome.
We pause those frantic, heated kisses for our breath. Hers is sharp, shaky but beautiful. I don't notice - or particular care for - my own. But my eyes never leave her lips. Everything is so quiet and peaceful that it's like the whole world has finally let us be. And I can't take the fact that we're not physically connected anymore, so I sweep her off the ground into my arms and those kisses return, but heavy, thicker and fuller than before. Even though our bodies are closer than should be humanly possible, I want her closer. I never want to her let her go. She told me to never let her go and I intend to keep my word.
And she pulls away and I actually almost cry at the loss. And then she does something unusual, something she's never done, something I could only dream of (and believe me I have). Her pale blue blouse is no longer covering her skin. It's blue was nothing in comparison to that of those blue orbs. Our eyes lock, green meets blue, but she seems so sure. And this is natural, God this feels so flawlessly right. So I let it happen, don't I?
We kiss again, and somehow it's better than before. And it's not like all those other girls; she's not like all those other girls because she is far better. And she makes me better, doesn't she?
Her fingers weed their way in my hair and mine encircle that body, and we fall on that couch that was moments ago so honest and pure.
I break away for one second even though it kills me, it really does. "Carmen," and I stare into those eyes. "What are we doing?"
And her answer is perfect. "For once, something right." Her answers breathy and it sends some weird feelings through me.
That answer is enough for me. We kiss and we kiss and we kiss.
The world seems anew through my eyes, so lovely and magical. My actions are automatic but they're slow and calm and gentle. Everything is colourful like I've been living in a black and white world all my life and then a rainbow paints across the blue canvas of sky. Everything's surreal to my eyes, iridescent lights streaming through my pupils.
And our smiles, they never fade.
I kiss her lips. I kiss her face. I kiss her neck. I kiss her arms. I kiss her hands. I kiss her stomach. I kiss every inch of her skin and it's like everything I've ever wanted in my life is right at the tip of my fingers. And she kisses me too, all of me.
And more clothes are shed, my tight jeans, her short, lacy black skirt and well everything underneath.
I was unsure at first. I didn't want to do something that she'd regret but I know that this is something we'll never regret because it is all just so right. Carmen and I, we are right.
I'm shaken awake by a scruffy haired Carmen. She smiles down on me and I know neither of our smiles have gone yet. She pulls me up and starts handing me various items of clothing frantically. I quickly shove each on but I must admit that I am a little disappointed that she is already dressed.
"We're arriving in the Capitol in less than five minutes and honestly, I think it'd hit the headlines if as we pulled in to the station, the two of us are stark naked. And then I think my mum and dad would hit you pretty hard."
I laugh lightly at her comment but I do feel slightly nervous at the thought too. It was completely and utterly true. As I pull on the last item of clothing – my shirt – I see us pull into the station and the familiar flash of the cameras outside the window. Normally, I'd give them at least one signature smile but I'm afraid that today they're reserved for Carmen.
She pulls on her long black suede coat and fastens up the large buttons. It's not that cold and when I give her a questioning look, she replies "you ripped some of the lace on my skirt."
I look at my feet sheepishly with a mumble of "sorry."
I grab all of our bags (after persuading Carmen that she should let me) and we quickly exit our cabin and find our way off of the heavenly train. The flashes are blinding as they catch me left, right and centre. Carmen at first seems taken aback by the attention she's getting but then I see a shine to her eyes and she starts to enjoy the attention. Big smiles are handed to each of the cameras and then to top it off, she grabs me roughly by the shirt and, amongst the large crowd whose attention we've drawn, she kisses me with everything she's got. I melt into it. It's over too soon but I know the cameras captured it all. She gives them a wink, leaving them stunned, and then walks away with me trailing like a lost puppy.
She has a skip to her step as we walk through the station and I can't help but smile at her happiness. We get into the car that I reserved for us and immediately she snuggles up to me making me wish we were alone so we could have a rerun of the events on the train.
She gazes happily out the window with a content sigh as we travel through the large city towards our five-star hotel. When we arrive, I pay the driver and I find her scoping the area with a gleeful look. More cameras greet us but she's more interested in the hotel than these pictures. We check in relatively quickly and make our way to the room. Her eyes light up more.
"Oh my God Finn!" She says coming out from her bathroom inspection, "How much did this place cost?!"
"Don't worry about it." I dismiss.
She pouts at my answers but pretends to accept it for now. She plonks herself on the white silk sheets of the bed that was meant for her, and she rubs the soft material with her thumb appreciatively. I stand opposite her watching how happy I've made her.
"So is this my bed then?"
"Yeah. I mean we normally share a bed but I thought it'd probably look better if I got a room with two beds, you know?"
She nods thoughtfully before biting her lip and looking up at me through those long black eyelashes of hers. "I don't think I'll be having nightmares tonight after…well…the train ride." She looks at her feet with that smile still on her face.
"Okay well I guess I'll sleep in the other room then."
"Oh no Finn," she says standing up and stepping towards me, "you are most definitely going to be in my bed tonight." When she adds the wink I think my mouth goes slack and the words are stolen from my tongue.
The only thing that kicks my brain back into action is when the phone starts ringing in the main room. I immediately go to answer it while Carmen turns her attention to unpacking the clothes she was either given by my mum or bought back in District Four. I do, however, intend to spoil her rotten here in the Capitol because that is the Capitol way of life, and what better way to fit in?
The phone blares rudely at me. I pick it up but I do wonder who would possibly be ringing. Perhaps, I think, it's my mother checking that we got here safely or something. But no, I am very wrong.
"Finn? How are you my dear?"
"Gaudy? Is that you?"
Gaudy Gold is one of the wealthiest men in the whole of the Capitol and yet I find him far more tolerable than most of the people I encounter here. He is very extravagant but he does it in an almost comical sense and he is a very fun man to be around.
"God don't even recognise my beautiful voice, do you not? Shame on you Odair, shame on you. What are you like?" He chuckles lightly down the phone. "So first off, I've heard you've found yourself a lovely lady! Now why didn't you tell me?! I'm quite offended Odair, I expect better from you. Oh well, I suppose I'll forgive you! I love you far too much to be angry! Now the reason I called…well isn't it obvious? I only ever call for two reasons and this call wasn't made to boast darling but I may as well do it while I'm here! So that only leaves option number two…"
He trails off waiting for me to finish his sentence. I know all too well what option two is.
"You're throwing a party?"
"Why of course! That's all I do! But I needed an excuse for this one, something to celebrate. At first I thought to celebrate your return, but we can't have this party centred on you! No, parties centre on the host, so moi! So then I was watching the news, oh have you heard?"
"About Ultionem Snow?"
"Why of course! What else? So then I was like, 'let's celebrate safety by partying to an unsafe level'! It's genius, don't you agree?"
Carmen walks into the kitchen and for a moment all I can do at stare at her. She gives me a quizzical look about who I'm talking too but I just shrug and reply. In honesty, I don't think his parties are her scene.
"Yes very. Now I'd love to come but Carmen and I have only arrived and I was going to show her around…"
"But what better way to introduce her to the city than from the inside! And I want the girl there Odair, I've not met her. In fact, I've never met anyone from Twelve, it should be fun! Oh please bring her Odair!"
"Well it's up to her…"
I look pleadingly at Carmen who's now made her way over to me with curiosity.
"Give her the phone then boy!"
I hand the phone to her and she looks a bit confused but takes it and listens to Gold explain. He must go on for a while for all she does is listen and laugh a little. Eventually, when he must have neared the end of his speech, she speaks.
"Well that sounds excellent! I'd love to attend Gaudy."
She hangs up the phone and gives me a small smile before sitting on the couch. My mind can't help drift back to the last one I sat on….
"What was that? Did you agree to go to the party?"
She looks up at me. "Are you upset? Did you not want to go?"
"No it's just, well it's up to you. I just thought you wouldn't want to."
"If I'm in the Capitol I might as well act like it!" She kicks her feet up and puts them on the coffee table in a rebellious manner, showing off her brown boots with material twisted so it looks like it's literally clinging to her skin. They were bought at a stall in four. I sit down next to her and wrap her up in my arms.
"This hotel room really is amazing you know."
We both simultaneously glance around the room at the three perfectly white walls and the one with a white base and gold pattern crawling up it. The large TV sits in front of us with various paintings scattered across the walls but none compare to the work in Carmen's house. The fancy furnishings that decorate the room seem like this is the only room they'll ever really belong in.
"I guess."
And we settle down with each other as our entertainment. Even though we're a pretty new couple it's like we've been together forever. It's like…
"FINN!" Carmen breaks my thoughts with her frantic shriek. I turn to her with worried eyes. "What am I going to wear to the party?!"
I laugh for about ten minutes until I finally manage to control myself enough. "You sound like Fern!"
"But seriously Finn! All my clothes are in Twelve!"
"Fine then. To the shops!"
The rain patters down on us as we finish up shopping. I insisted we went to the best stores I knew in the Capitol but obviously Carmen refused these ideas and went to probably the only bargain stores in the whole of the Capitol. I let her roll with it and I can't honestly tell you what it is that she actually bought. With the time being about four thirty and his party not even starting until ten, we stop to get a cup of coffee somewhere.
"So where does good coffee then, Mr Expert!" She teases.
The perfect place hits me like a ton of bricks, so I grab her hand and pull her through the crowd of people on the street as the rain continues to bear down on us. The braid in her hair flaps behind her as I drag her down the street. She laughs as she dodges various strangers who are giving us looks either because they think we're crazy or because they know us.
I stop abruptly and she slams into my back then stumbles back a little. She opens her mouth to ask where it is when I pull her sideways into a back alley and we run through the puddles across to another main road. I take a left, then another left and then we arrive at a quaint little place called 'Beau's Bistro'. I watch her reaction to the place carefully and when her face lights up I know I've chosen right. Carmen clearly thought that the Capitol was all big lights and big labels but if you look hard enough, then you'll find more. I came across this place accidentally when I was walking these streets with sorrow in my heart and Carmen in my thoughts.
When we enter, the rosy cheeked woman at the counter turns our way and gives us each a bright eyed smile that's so very genuine. We go up to the counter and order our drinks with a cake I recommend Carmen tries. The woman gets to work making the drinks when I catch sight of her name badge pinned to the cherry coloured apron. The tag reads 'Beau' so I assume that she must actually be the owner of the place.
"Aren't you Carmen Mellark and Finn Odair?" She asks politely.
"Yes. This is such a lovely place you have." Carmen replies sweetly, scraping some of the wet hair from her face.
"Thank you dear. I hope you enjoy your cake."
We find a table upstairs where we overlook the people scuttling in every direction below us. Carmen sips at her drink thoughtfully. Finally she voices her thoughts.
"Finn?" I look up acknowledging her. "You are glad I'm here, aren't you?"
"Of course! I've very glad."
She gives me such a beautifully warm smile that it sets my insides alight.
After we arrived back, it had gotten quite late because we also stopped for food out. Carmen went to get dressed as soon as we got in. Once I was in my suit, I exited my room and awaited Carmen. It was past ten by now but I didn't want to be the first at the party anyway.
I hear the door open so I turn around and my mouth immediately goes dry. Carmen is wearing a plain simple white dress that ends just above the knees with thin straps, and a shape that clings to her like I want to. But atop this dress is a loose, floaty, red lace material that covers everything but the straps. The contrast between the two colours is eye-catching and I become completely infatuated with her. The colour reminds me of her red lips I kissed against the pale skin I touched. Her hair is pinned up with a few wispy strands left dangling, probably so I can put them behind her ears like usual, and her feet are encased in black heels that are transparent at the sides of her feet in a criss-cross manner. The best bit though, is that she's wearing the locket that I gave her.
I can't help but get up and kiss her passionately. She giggles as she pulls away from me, clearly satisfied with my response. We leave and head out into the cascade of darkness.
The Capitol looks even better during the night for the streets are quieter and the place is lit up so beautifully that you can't help but stare. Carmen really stared though as we came to Gaudy Gold's house, well more of a palace actually. We pass through the big iron gates that have been sprinkled with fairy lights, and into the walled off area to park. I open Carmen's door for her and take her hand as I lead her up the large front garden and towards the huge front door. It is two very large wooden doors like that of a castle, but they are open in a welcoming manner. When we step inside her eyes almost fall out of her head.
The music pounds in your ears, encircles you brain, squeezes your lungs and bounces your bones until you are dancing. It grows and grows as we walk down the long golden stone corridor and through the large archway at the end. The light of the moon bounces off the pool and fountain out back creating such a magical atmosphere. The people swirl around in a busy frenzy in the wildest of attire with feathered head bands, solid gold belts, people dressed only in sequins and glitter, shoulder pads and spikes that could poke your eyes out, leotards of the wildest patterns and so on.
The sound of circus animals can be heard faintly in the background as people literally bound with the rhythm whether it's in dancing or in every step they take. Colours blend and blur around us from hair styles, dyed skin, clothing and the very over-the-top make-up. Confetti rains down in a constant stream as lights flash around the floor tiles, bouncing colour everywhere. People are splashing in the water while half-naked dancers descend from the ceiling twirling in a ribbon. Drinks flow as the people stumble about in their already drunken state. An eight foot champagne bottle that drips out the open top is carried about by two men with zebra print skin and bright blue eye shadow. Puffs of smoke plague my skin and cling to my throat.
I turn to assess Carmen's reaction to this whole situation and I'm a little surprised by what her face shows. Carmen's eyes are wide and shining and her red lips are curled upwards in an award-winning smile. Suddenly, she grabs my hand and drags me towards her. She starts dancing and moving to the exact bobbing rhythm of the music searing my ears. We dance and dance until my feet ache and my head's sore.
I lean in to whisper so she can hear me, "do you want to have a look around the rest of the place?"
She nods in response so I take her hand and I lead her up the stairs onto the balcony where men and women are smoking all sorts of things. I walk quickly through them and into the patio doors. Once they're closed behind us, I find that the noise is insulated rather well. We are in Gold's study though I doubt he's ever actually been in here in his whole life.
When I asked him about it he told me, "if you're rich enough to have something, why not have it?"
I turned to him and replied "but you never come here. Isn't it just a bit of a show to have such a thing?"
"Why of course! But boy life is a show in itself! Everything here is about status and boasting; that's all we know. Remember one thing and you'll go far in life: when money speaks the truth is silent. Whether you believe it or not, remember it. Someday it may do you a favour or two."
"I'd rather be honest and poor than rich and dishonest."
"Really? You aren't exactly poor right now are you?"
"Well no but I wasn't a liar to get my money."
"Is that what you think? Tell me, this girl that you've told me about, you love her." He didn't ask it; he stated it. "You love her and you lied to yourself about it. This lie lead you here to the Capitol where you became wealthy. You lied and now you have money."
"But I didn't lie for the money! It's different!"
"Of course it is. When money speaks the truth is silent."
Just as Carmen and I start gazing at the various books it is home too, Gaudy walks through the door with a crooked smile on his face. Carmen and I both look to him. Gaudy is a very extravagant man with pitch black spiky hair that has pink tips to it. He is a very thin but tall man who has an odd liking for thick black eye-liner, a gold earring and his beloved gold suit with the black shirt beneath it.
"Why you must be Carmen!"
"That's me."
He staggers over, as he's clearly been drinking and wraps us both into a tight hug before pulling away and patting our heads like children.
"Now I do have some questions for you…" He slurs out waving to Carmen. "What's twelve like?"
"About the very opposite of this."
"And you're enjoy-"He hiccups before continuing, "enjoying it here, yes?"
"Very much."
"Good good. Now if you'll excuse me…" He says stretching out his words too much before stumbling out of the patio doors.
"Sorry about that."
"It's fine Finn. Now let's party!"
I wake up in the fountain completely drenched and not remembering much of the last few hours of the party. Wrapped up in my arms is the giant champagne bottle that I have an odd feeling I may have tried to drink only an hour ago. I flop out of the fountain still sopping wet as I go searching for Carmen. My head pounds with pain as I walk. The music still blasts out, the people still swarm and the confetti still rains.
After a lot of searching, I find her asleep on the huge dining table amongst a half-eaten ham. I lift her carefully off the table and into my arms as I am about to head towards a taxi to take us back to the hotel. Suddenly, she stirs and opens her eyes to meet mine. She giggles a little and struggles from my grasp. When she stands looking at me, even in her drunken state, she looks like an angel and I can't help but admire her ethereal presence before me as the lights hit her in all the right places. She stumbles around and giggles really loudly and I feel myself laughing too even though there's no reason to. She leans down and removes her shoes before grabbing my hand and running down the hall with me in tow. We run and run until we reach the grand flight of stairs which we run up. We go up and up until we reach the highest floor and Carmen climbs through one of the windows. I follow and we end up outside on the room looking down on everyone else. She sits down and sighs. I join her.
"I'm going to miss you Finn."
"I'm going to miss you too."
"You know, you probably won't believe me or anything but I don't care that I wasn't your first."
"Really?" I ask a bit disbelievingly.
"Really. I mean the whole thing about the first time is about it being special, and it was so special so in a way it almost was." She explains matter-of-factly.
"You know you have a point. It's like, all those other times I didn't love them so it wasn't making love it was just nothing. But you, you I love. I guess you could say it was the first time I made love to someone."
I know we're only having this conversation because we're drunken idiots and that I probably won't remember this, but I guess that's what provokes my honesty.
"You know, Hunter tried to rape me." She blurts out suddenly and I just look at her in complete shock. "The night I came home crying with the ripped dress. It wasn't the first time. I really was stupid. Oh well. What's done is done. What are you going to do after all this Finn?"
"What do you mean?"
"After everything that's happened this summer, what are you going to do? I'm just going to be going back to school."
"I don't know. I guess I'll go home, maybe take the boat out, go down to the bar."
"What happened to that bar your granddad used to own? What was it? The Boathouse?"
"It's still there, rotting away."
"Maybe you could do something with that…?"
"Maybe."
"Your life is like clay. You can mould and shape it any way you want and sometimes it changes shape but you can usually get it how you want it or at least close."
"Who knew alcohol made you insightful?"
And she laughs. And I laugh. And we watch the people dance and party and drink. And I know we both wish that this summer could never end.
A lot has changed. But the biggest change? I don't know. I guess you could say we love each other know but we always did, deep down.
Together we watch the whole of Panem and for once I don't think about all the stuff outside of Panem; I think about all the stuff in it like my family and my friends. But mostly, I think of Carmen. And in that moment, we say our silent farewells.
A/N Even if it's only a word or two, could you please leave me a nice lovely review down there?
Thanks to everyone who supports my work :D