Chapter 25

Note: This one is for you Spidergirl! ; ) God is good and He's going to heal Annie & Ryan in this fanfic at least. Not my characters. . . but they sure do inspire.

Ryan watched the sun beginning to set over Jerusalem as he waited in his car. He watched while rubbing his stubble as it created a beautiful orange hue over the horizon. The entire sky it appeared saturated with color as the sun faded away, it like everything he encountered over the last couple of days reminded him of her. He never took a sunset for granted if he had the time to spare. Every day was truly an adventure for Ryan McQuaid and his numerous near misses with death, capture and serious injury kept him grounded and humble. He was grateful each day he lived.

As the day ended, he actually prayed to God as he watched the sun go down. He asked for wisdom, he asked for the right words to say, he asked that she have an open heart, and he asked for forgiveness for his part in the tragedies of her life. He was angry in Spain and all the way home, but miraculously the anger dissipated when he read her letter and heard the hopeful and eager voice in it. He read it so many times he had it memorized. The letter made him laugh and cry. He pictured her pregnant self writing it with a smile on her face and it made him happy to visualize her.

There was some hesitation in the letter, but underneath it, she knew while writing it that he would be happy to learn the news. She knew that he would absolutely want to be involved with her and the baby. And she would have been right. As shocked as he would have been, he would have seen her belly and he would have held her tight when she returned. But she didn't return from the mission. That hope and grounding that the baby girl gave her disappeared when their child died prematurely. After reading the letter, he knew what he needed to do. The Annie who wrote it months ago spoke to him. He wanted her to hear that version of herself once more.

The anger and resentment he felt turned into a need to make things right for her and with her even if she didn't want his help, he had to try for his own sake. Ryan was the kind of man who looked forward, getting over his wife's death was a long process, but once he healed, he vowed to never become that person again. Annie was that person now and his experiences showed him that he needed to help her come out of it. Even if she chose to go on without him, he needed to get a message through to her.

For his own sake, he also needed closure that only a face-to-face with her could give him. No matter the end result, he had to say his peace. He prayed to God to open her heart to hear him out instead of doing what she had been doing, running and shielding herself from him, from her old life and most importantly from the life she could have. As Ryan whispered, "Amen," he saw a car pull up.

Ryan opened his car door and walked across the street to Eyal's home.

"Are we making this a habit McQuaid?" asked Eyal as he got out of his car.

"What?"

"Showing up at my home unannounced."

Ryan took off his sunglasses and offered his hand to Eyal.

Eyal shook Ryan's hand and looked around. Without any prompting he said, "If she hasn't gotten in touch with you, I can't do anything about it."

"I know you want to help me and her. You wouldn't have sent me the letter if you didn't."

Out of respect for Annie, Eyal told himself not to get involved in Annie's personal life, but she had become family to him. She was the sister he lost and he would have wanted his sister to find love and happiness in this crazy world.

"You head a security firm, can't you locate her yourself?"

"I've tried, I don't know what alias she's using and it's not easy to break into Israel's CCTVs. Come on, where can I find her?"

"She'd kill me if I revealed the location of her safehouse."

"I'll help you with whatever you need, you have my support for any future mission as long as it aligns with American interests."

"What are American interests these days? Seems like there's a lot of uncertainty regarding U.S. policy these days. I'm not sure we're going to be on the same page. I don't trust your new leadership."

"Listen, I'm apolitical. I get handed an order or a contract and I do my part to keep my country safe and I do it while flying under the radar. You know I do it well."

Eyal thought about it for a second. "Well, that might just come in handy McQuaid."

Still Eyal wasn't pleased with the situation. He didn't want to lose his friend, but at the same time, he knew she needed something to jolt her out of her stubbornness.

"She comes to Shabbat every week when she's in town."

Ryan nodded.

"That's tomorrow in case you don't know."

"I know, sundown, I'll be here," Ryan felt he just scored a small victory.

/

Annie was happy to be back in Israel and looked forward to a long hot bath. She went straight to the doggy hotel to pick up her furry companion. It was yet another suggestion that came out of therapy. She needed something to care for and company to help her heal. Her whined and cried when he saw her at the gate, he jumped all over her giving her kisses and Annie laughed out loud for the first time in days.

"Good boy! I missed you so much!" said Annie to her dog.

She looked up and spoke to the clerk. "I'm so sorry my trip was extended, thank you so much for taking such good care of Noah."

"Oh, it's our pleasure, he's a doll, a big lap dog you have there," said the clerk.

Annie paid for the extra days her dog was in the kennel and got back into the car to head home.

After taking a restorative walk on the beach with Noah, Annie took a long and much deserved bath. She felt strangely at peace as she soaked in the tub. That saying, the 'truth will set you free' came to mind. Of course she still felt crappy over what happened. She never thought for a million years that she would run into Ryan on her last mission and she never planned to tell him about the baby, but it happened. She knew she hurt him deeply, but now she saw that it was for the best. He would finally give up on her and she no longer felt a weight bearing down on her chest.

Life would go on, she'd go to bed and wake up in the morning and head to work and repeat. Other assignments would come. Noah would need his walks and runs. Shabbat would come every Friday. There was life left to live thought Annie. One day at a time like her therapist told her.

/

Ryan arrived thirty minutes before sundown. He wanted to be there early. He was already inside having a drink with Eyal when Annie arrived.

He heard her come in and listened as she greeted and kissed to Eyal's wife Ranit , Avi and Eyal's mother.

"What's this? You don't need to bring so much," said Ranit taking the cake from Annie and bag of fruit.

"I heard someone has a birthday coming up so I baked a cake."

It was Eyal's mother's birthday in a couple of days.

"You baked a cake?" asked Ranit in disbelief.

"Remember that class I told you I was thinking about taking? I made it back in time for the first session." Part of her therapy included doing things she wanted to do but never made time for. She chose baking because it reminded her of Danielle and it was useful, she loved sweets.

"That's great, you needed some hobbies my dear if you don't have a man, you have to keep busy somehow," jabbed Eyal's mother.

Annie laughed. "I don't need a man Mrs. Lavin."

"You need to eat two slices later my girl, you're too skinny and what is that?" asked Eyal's mother pointing to the fading bruises on Annie's neck. She didn't hide them well enough with the loose scarf.

"Come in, let me look you over," said Eyal's wife who was a doctor. They met in medical school and while Eyal quit, she went on to become a family practice doctor. "Eyally said you were injured on your trip, let's have a look at those bruises," said Ranit.

"I saw my acupuncturist and it's getting better, don't worry about me," said Annie.

"We worry about you, we can't help it Annie. Eyal said you saw Ryan? Are you okay?"

Annie looked at Ranit who had become a friend and confidante. "I told him and he was, I don't know… The look on his face, he was disgusted with me, but I pray he'll be okay. I know I shifted some burden to him and I feel bad about that, but I feel lighter these days. I guess living with that secret was taking a toll."

"Now what can I do to help with dinner?"

"Nothing, nothing, Ee-ma and I have it all under control, why don't you go into the living room and see Eyal, he's there with a friend," said Ranit with a gentle smile.

"Oh not again, it's not some cousin you're trying to set me up with again is it?"

Ranit laughed and shook her head.

"Nothing like that."

Ryan was in the living room where he heard everything.