I'm skipping classes this morning. I think I might be coming down with something (there's something going around the dorm hall), cuz I'm really tired. Not sleepy-tired, just fatigued. Kinda like when you get the flu fatigued…bah…
And yay! The ruler thingie works again!
I'm sure you all know the spiel by now, I don't own Phantom, fic takes place in present day, blah blah blah, REVIEW…
Lenore knew by the look on Erik's face that he hadn't expected her to ask that. But he'd agreed to let her choose what he told her, and if he tried to go back on that now, she'd never speak to him again…well…at least not for a long time anyway.
"That's not a pleasant story," Erik finally said.
"Oh well. Tell me anyway," she demanded.
Minutes ticked away in silence, Erik staring into the flames in the fireplace, and Lenore staring at Erik. She didn't have time to waste waiting for him to speak. Those men in the other room were dying, and if he wasn't going to tell her what she had asked, there was little point in sitting here when she could be freeing innocent victims. Just as she was about to dash for the door to the guest room, Erik finally spoke.
"I'm sure you've heard of Jack the Ripper," he said softly. "I'm quite personally well acquainted with the bastard."
"Jack the Ripper? What does he have to do with anything?" Lenore said curiously. After all, it was rather odd that Erik would talk about that murderer.
"He's rather grotesque with his murders of course," Erik muttered as an afterthought. "No style or appreciation for the art whatsoever."
"Erik? I thought you were going to tell me"-
"Yes. Jack. It's not his real name. His real name is Hiroshi. What his last name is I don't know, nor do I care to find out," Erik said. "The year was 1870, and I had just returned from visiting Nadir in his flat, shortly after Christine left me. I was dying, terribly weak. I found him sitting in the chair in front of the fireplace.
"Hiroshi was very…interesting. Despite his being a foreigner, he spoke perfect French. Looking at him, I knew I stood little chance if he chose to kill me right then. I swore at him, told him to get out of my house and leave me in peace. He merely stayed where he was, amused by my wrath and all but laughing at my ridiculous threats.
" 'Please, Erik –if I may call you Erik?- I have a proposition for you. I can save you from death, and then help you win your Christine,' Hiroshi informed me, speaking as if we were old friends. I thought to myself that he couldn't possibly know anything about me, that he was some madman who had come to torture me. 'Oh, I know all about you, Erik.'
"It startled me that he knew exactly what I had been thinking. And of course, it only served to quicken my belief when he told me that he was immortal. When I still showed my skepticism, he merely produced a dagger and thrust it through his heart. 'I understand that you cannot trust a stranger making such a statement, but your eyes will tell you what to believe,' he said tiredly as he wrenched out the blade.
"I watched him bleed for a good hour before I knew he had to be telling the truth. No mortal man could survive that long bleeding as heavily as he was. 'Have I bled long enough to satisfy you?' Hiroshi was obviously quite bored with his display of immortality, not to mention how pale he had become and how weak he sounded. I did the only thing I could; I accepted every word he said for truth.
"I began to beseech him to impart the gift of immortality upon me, asking what he planned to help me gain Christine's love. 'Well, naturally, it is your face that offends. So we'll have to fix that, won't we? Not too difficult at all, I assure you. However, you must be certain that this is what you truly want. You must be prepared to give up everything you've believed in. Will you do that Erik? Will you give up everything for that little diva?'
"I will not lie to you, Lenore. I agreed immediately and quite feverishly that I would forsake God himself for Christine's love. 'How little you know,' Hiroshi muttered. 'Alright, the first thing we must do is see to your immortality.' Hiroshi produced a strange collection of herbs and other odd tidbits, detestable things such as ravens' eyes and lizards' tongues, from his pockets. He concocted a potion of some sort. God, it looked like death itself. 'Drink it, Erik, every last drop. You must, to become immortal.'
"I found myself staring at the dark, syrupy liquid, unable to follow through on my earlier promises. When he realized I was beginning to change my mind, he forced the liquid down my throat. After I had swallowed the repulsive stuff, I thanked him –dear god, I thanked that fucking bastard- for helping me. 'No need. It's a human instinct not to want it,' he replied so casually.
"An hour passed, which quite surprised him. 'Much stronger than most mortals, aren't you, Erik?' Hiroshi commented as he held me in his arms like a child, a beloved child. Of course, I was far too weak to protest in any manner. The coldness of death was creeping in, and I was actually quite glad of his warmth.
"When I died, I was absolutely livid with Hiroshi, assuming he'd lied to me. I was standing in the edge of Heaven, waiting in a line of people to be judged by Saint Peter at the gates. Finally, my turn came. I was…so nervous. Hoping that somehow I could be forgiven for all I'd done, that I would be allowed to pass through those gates. Mother was standing just inside the gate, and I assume the man with her was my father. They were both weeping, and I fervently hoped it was with joy at seeing me.
"Saint Peter thumbed through an enormous sheaf of papers, where all my sins were listed out. I could see golden script beside each one, proclaiming me forgiven. As page upon page revealed my crimes forgiven by God, I began to be so sure that I was guaranteed a place in Paradise. The last page seemed to be alright, until I saw the very last line. The sin was listed as Animam Edere Daemon Hiroshi, and it was not forgiven.
"I begged for some explanation as to what that had been, what Hiroshi had tempted me into that couldn't be forgiven. I thought if I knew my crime I could make an excuse for it and be permitted to enter Heaven. Surely the fault was not mine.
"Before anything could be explained to me, I opened my eyes, finding myself back here, Hiroshi muttering to himself in Japanese. When he noticed I was…I guess alive is the proper word, he immediately set about whipping up another of his dreadful tinctures. He ensured me this second one was for my face. I yelled at him the whole time, demanded to know what he'd done to me that I could never enter Heaven.
" 'You chose it, Erik. You said you'd forsake God himself for your silly little chorus girl, and that is exactly what you have done. God hates it, you see, when a mortal takes the opportunity to live forever. He wanted that right exclusively to Himself, the greedy bastard. But Master was granted immortality…God got lonely, and this was before man was created. So naturally God won't let you into Heaven. You didn't go to Hell because Master prefers you to stay here on Earth. Master is more familiarly known to you as Satan.'
"I swallowed the second tincture, not caring what it did to me now. Nothing could compare to having Eden ripped out from under you. Or at least, that's what I thought at the time. When I saw my face in the mirror the next morning, I…let's just say Hiroshi was rather bruised when I finished with him. His potion had only fixed half of my face, made it look as it does now.
" 'Go to your lady,' Hiroshi urged. 'Ask her if she would accept you if the rest of your face were perfect. If she agrees, and returns with you, I will finish what I have begun.'
"So, not knowing what else I could do, I hunted the globe for Christine. When I finally found her, she was two months pregnant with the Vicomte's child. I spoke with her for many hours. Finally, I brought up the question. I told her it wouldn't be wrong to leave Chagny, to come away with me. I promised her I'd love the child as my own.
"She wouldn't come, of course…no matter what I promised or how I pleaded. I returned to Paris, knowing that I had eternity and no one to spend it with. So I turned to my only friend, Nadir. He flatly refused when I suggested it, but Darius had overheard. He was doubting his faith, and immortality was appealing to him. So I brought him back, knowing Hiroshi would still be here.
"And the bastard was. He'd set himself up comfortably in my home, using my morphine and drinking my wine. I thought…since I'd brought Darius, he might be willing to finish the work on my face. But he coldly informed me that he had promised it only if Christine came. He made Darius immortal as well…it was comforting to have Darius, someone who understood the fresh pain of losing redemption and eternal rest. Hiroshi stayed here for years, teaching us how to read minds, control them, everything we needed. It was the summer of 1888 when he finally decided there was nothing left that he could teach us.
"He claimed that spending eighteen years cooped up down here had made him restless, and he went to England. There, he murdered, for the mere joy of killing. Hiroshi wrote me letters describing his 'excursions' in great detail. He knew I wouldn't reveal him to the police; what could they do against an immortal? The Devil would've helped him escape had he been captured. The papers began calling him Jack the Ripper, of course, to draw in readers.
"And that, as they say, is that," Erik finished. "You'll meet him in November. He always comes around for his birthday. Darius and myself are the only people he has that come anywhere close to being friends. And if we aren't here, Hiroshi will hunt us down and then stick around for a few months. It's much easier to just stay here and have him for a day rather than trying to run from him and then suffering his presence for months."
"Maybe…I could go somewhere else for his birthday," Lenore suggested.
"And where do you intend to go?"
"Anywhere that's away from him."
"You've nothing to fear, I'll protect you."
"ARE YOU NUTS? HE'S JACK THE RIPPER! I'm not safe anywhere that's within fifty miles of that man!" Lenore shouted.
"Oh Erik, what horrors have you been telling that little girl?" a male voice inquired sensually. Lenore whipped her head around in the direction of the voice to see a Japanese man who appeared to be in his late twenties. His dark brown eyes weighed her and a sadistic smirk seemed to be permanently fixed on his face. He was dressed entirely in black. "Did you know that this place is swarming with police? Goodness, I had to have so many of them shoot each other just to make it through undetected."
"What brings you here, Hiroshi?" Erik asked in clipped tones. He grabbed Lenore by the arm and pulled her closer.
"Nothing much, just thought I'd drop by and have a look at your little creampuff," Hiroshi replied, his eyes studying Lenore intensely as he came forward with the grace and elegance of a cat. She instinctively shrank away from this dangerous figure, pressing herself into Erik's embrace as hard as she could.
"She is not a snack," Erik hissed.
"Oh? A kitten, perhaps?" Hiroshi speculated, stopping behind the sofa. Lenore buried her face in Erik's shirt while Erik glared at the man. A hand with long, slender fingers ran over her head, petting her with a sensual delicateness that made her shiver with fear. "Or maybe a lover? No, she looks far too young and innocent for that. Just a sweet little kitten, terrified of her Master's face. Poor little pussy."
Lenore heard a sickening crack and moved her head just enough to see Hiroshi out of the corner of her eye. "Touch her again and I won't stop at your arm," Erik threatened.
"What a bother! Honestly Erik, she's just another silly little mortal, no need to break my arm for her," Hiroshi mumbled, nursing said arm. "She's just another doll who will eventually break; what does it matter if I speed up the process a bit?"
"I'm not a doll!" Lenore protested angrily.
"She speaks!" Hiroshi exclaimed with mock surprise. "But I'm sure her bark is worse than her bite."
"Get close enough for me to bite you and we'll find out," Lenore snapped.
"Oh, if only your master would let me, darling, I most certainly would," Hiroshi declared. "I love it when you pets bite. The rougher, the better."
"Pervert."
"I'm an old man, I'm expected to be perverted," Hiroshi said dismissively.
"Try rising above society's expectations," Lenore commanded.
"Is she always this difficult?" Hiroshi inquired of Erik.
"Usually," Erik responded honestly.
"Hey!" Lenore grumbled, glaring at Erik. "You're supposed to be on my side."
"No, he's on my side, of course. Why would he side with a mortal?" Hiroshi replied, chuckling at the mere thought.
"I am on no one's side but Erik's," Erik informed the pair of them.
"Men!" Lenore griped. "You know what? Why don't you two talk amongst yourselves or whatever it is you immortals do when you get together, and I'll go take a long, long, long bubble bath. And maybe when I get out, our guest will have left." Lenore got to her feet, prepared to head for the bathroom.
As far as Erik was concerned, her idea was quite spectacular. It was also quite ridiculous of her, because she was handing him ample time to finish off those police in his torture chamber. After making such a fuss about them…you go and forget them all because we have a guest.
Hiroshi leapt to his feet the moment Lenore stood up. "Someone should go with her, Erik," he proclaimed. "Kittens don't do well with water, they're not good swimmers. What if she should drown? Of course, neither of us have anything to do, we could both go with her…"
Erik thought about it for a moment. He knew exactly what Hiroshi was proposing, but he also knew Hiroshi had made a few silly mistakes in his eagerness to have a chance to touch Lenore. "I happen to have two victims in my forest right now," Erik said casually.
"But he's going to let them go," Lenore informed Hiroshi with a dangerous glare at Erik. "Because he knows how upset I'll be if he doesn't."
"Oh, what a shame we both can't help kitty," Hiroshi lied. "Well, it's quite obvious what has to be done then."
"Yes," Erik agreed.
"What is wrong with you?" Lenore snarled at him. "I'm quite capable of bathing by myself. I've managed just fine for the past fifteen years or so!"
"It's so good of you to be so helpful, Hiroshi," Erik continued, ignoring Lenore's words entirely as he stood.
"I AM NOT TAKING A BATH WITH JACK THE RIPPER STANDING OVER ME, YOU BLOODY IDIOT!" Lenore shouted.
"Now, be sure you don't make it too quick for those insects," Erik advised, taking Lenore's arm and heading for the bedroom. "I'd hate to think they had a merciful death." You should have specified you wanted to take her from the beginning, Hiroshi. You tend to leave little loopholes like that all the time. Hiroshi sighed resignedly and headed for the torture chamber.
"Let go," Lenore demanded when Erik had closed the bedroom door behind them. "I don't need your help to take a bath, and I want you to go let those men out right now!"
Erik sighed and dragged her into the adjoining room. Lenore had been in the regular bathroom that adjoined his room, but he wanted to her to have a rather special treat today; after all, she was going to have to put up with Hiroshi's presence, probably for a good few months.
"I don't understand why you think I need someone to stand over me while I take a bath, it's not like I'm three years old or something," Lenore grumbled, standing in the bathroom and beginning to take off her clothes. Halfway through this process, she noticed that Erik had removed his frock coat, waistcoat, shirt, and slacks. "You are not getting in with me."
"No, I'm not," he agreed, opening the linen closet, flipping a hidden switch, and retrieving the necessary things. "When you're finished undressing, wrap yourself in this." He handed her a black silk piece of cloth.
"What is it? Is this silk?"
"A peştemal," Erik replied. "And yes, it's silk. I find cotton peştemals appear cheap."
"What the hell is a pe-whatever?" Lenore inquired.
"Must you always ask so many questions?" Erik sighed. Knowing she wasn't going to move until she got an answer, Erik finished undressing her. "You will know soon enough. Humor me and put it on."
Lenore sighed impatiently and wrapped the cloth around her body. "Can I know now?"
"No," Erik responded. He placed wooden clogs decorated with mother-of-pearl at her feet. "These are called nalın, and they ensure that you won't slip on the floor, chérie." She slipped her feet into them, grumbling all the while that she still didn't know what the silk cloth was for.
Opening a hidden door, Erik led her into a dark, narrow corridor. He opened the next door he came upon, and Lenore gasped. The room was a sıcaklık, the first room in a Hammam, or Turkish bath. He had decorated the room in pale green marble tiles. There were niches with fountains along the wall, and a large marble stone in the center.
"Have a seat," Erik said, gesturing to the center stone as he closed the door behind them.
"It's really hot in here," Lenore commented, touching the marble to test temperature before she sat on it.
"A sıcaklık, otherwise known as a hot room or caldarium, is hot because the point of a Turkish bath is to cleanse yourself entirely, including your pores. Which can be done through extensive perspiration, hence the heat in the room," Erik replied. Opening a hidden cabinet, he took out the bottle he wanted, then walked over to Lenore. "I'll need you to take off the peştemal now."
"Then what was the point of me putting it on in the first place?" Lenore griped.
"It's for your modesty, darling," Erik explained. "I may have seen you naked several times, but Hiroshi hasn't. And I'm sure we can count on him to come waltzing in at any moment, really. Therefore, I want you to have that close at hand to cover yourself when that happens."
Lenore shot a worried glance at the door before sliding the silk off, setting it right next to her and keeping one hand on it. Erik opened the bottle and poured a small amount of the oil into the palm of his hand. He got behind her on the stone and began massaging the jasmine and vanilla mixture into her neck.
"Oh, oh, ow ow. Good ow. But ow," Lenore moaned.
"You'll need to lay down for me to properly do your back," Erik informed her.
Erik massaged every inch of her from the neck down. There wasn't a single part of her he left untouched. Lenore always kept the silk thing close by, trying not to be too tense with worry that Hiroshi would come in. Erik took her to the next room, which had a small pool in it, and gestured for her to get in while he retrieved something else from yet another hidden cabinet.
"Erik, it's cold," Lenore whined after dipping a toe in. When he merely shook his head, she assumed it was supposed to be cold. But I don't wanna get in a cold bath. That's no fun at all.
"If you wait much longer, Hiroshi might come walking in," Erik reminded her.
"And if he does, I've got the silk thing," Lenore replied, holding it up.
"Just get in the pool, ma petite," Erik instructed.
"But it's cold," Lenore repeated.
"Don't make me push you in."
"You suck," she grumbled.
Erik looked at her breasts with a smirk. "We'll get to that in a bit."
"Oh, honestly, you're naughty. We're not doing anything like that."
"Once you're done bathing, there's another massage, chouchoute, and the masseur is judged by how many times he can bring his customer to orgasm," Erik explained. "You wouldn't want to give me a bad reputation, now would you?"
"Could be fun to ruin a man's reputation," Lenore mused, slowly lowering herself into the cold pool.
"And you accuse me of being naughty?"
"If the shoe fits…" she replied.
"You women are always obsessed with shoes," Erik said as he came to the edge of the pool with the soap and a bath sponge. "Now let me have one of those dirty feet of yours."
"How dare you insinuate that my feet aren't clean," Lenore replied playfully. "But I suppose that the best punishment would be to have you clean something that isn't dirty. Here you are." She stuck one foot up out of the water, just in Erik's reach.
They continued to banter back and forth while Erik scrubbed every part of her with that sponge, making sure no part of her was unattended. God, I'm glad I didn't go to a spa to get this done. I can't imagine letting a stranger be this familiar with my body. Erik was in the process of toweling her off when the door suddenly swung open.
"They're dead," Hiroshi declared. "Oh, kitten, you look so amazingly pathetic when you're wet. It fills my head with thoughts of cuddling you while drying you off."
Lenore hurried to wrap the silk around her, blushing tomato red. Damn him for catching me off guard. "Pervert, get out! I'm not decent," she snarled.
"I'm horribly offended," Hiroshi stated. "You're not telling Erik to get out."
"That's because he's not a pervert, nor is he a stranger," Lenore replied.
"All I need is a few minutes, and I wouldn't be a stranger either."
"Maybe not. But you'd still be a pervert."
"Erik, can't I help dry her off?" Hiroshi all but begged. "I would never hurt your little pussy cat, surely you know that."
Erik suppressed a sigh. Hiroshi wouldn't stop bothering him until he allowed the man to touch Lenore again. Yet if I should allow him, then he'll see how many more times he can manage to annoy me into letting him do what he pleases. "You cannot help dry her off," Erik replied sharply while thinking of a way to get Hiroshi off his back without hurting Lenore in the process. "You can brush her hair when I'm done in here."
Hiroshi gave an excited, almost girly squeal and dashed out of the room to wait, probably fantasizing about all sorts of sexual scenarios that could arise from simply brushing a girl's hair. Erik shook his head; that man was in serious need of help.
"Alright, we need to have a talk," Lenore mumbled, glaring at the door Hiroshi had disappeared through. "Firstly, I didn't need you to give me a bath (although this has been nice and I wouldn't mind if you wanted to do this every day), and I don't need him to brush my hair. I don't know why you listen to him when he tells you I need help doing the smallest thing. Secondly, I'm not letting Jack the Ripper brush my hair. You've gotta be insane! He shouldn't be allowed within ten feet of me. Hell, he shouldn't be allowed within fifty miles of civilization!"
"I listen to him when he makes these suggestions because if I didn't, he would do it himself, ma petite. He's much older than I am, and back in his day, a human pet was pampered to the extremes; if we were back in his time, you wouldn't even be allowed to walk," Erik explained. "And if you don't let him brush your hair, he'll find some other reason to touch you. Let's let him satiate his desires on something simple, hm?"
"He still shouldn't be allowed near society, he's a"- Lenore stopped mid-sentence, a slight blush creeping over her face.
"Go on, Lenore. Finish your sentence," Erik commanded fiercely.
"He's a…a murderer," Lenore finally spat out.
"So, how does that work, darling? It's alright to be here with me, it's perfectly fine for me to live below one of the largest cities of the world, but Hiroshi shouldn't be allowed anywhere close to people?" Erik hissed.
"You're different. You're not a lust murderer," Lenore argued. "And…and…you don't kill people for the fun of it."
"Oh really? I'll have to remember that next time someone dies by my hands," Erik said. "I must try to keep in mind that it's not fun at all."
"Wait, are you telling me that you enjoy killing people?" Lenore inquired.
"Never," Erik replied sarcastically. "I only kill because it's necessary. No fun at all."
"It is not fun!" she shouted. "It's morally wrong and perfectly dreadful of you!"
"With all due respect, Lenore, you've never killed anyone, so you have no idea what it's like," Erik informed her. "Listening to pitiful screams and protests is such a satisfying feeling, knowing you have so much power over your victim. And then watching the light go out of their eyes…it's quite enjoyable. Perhaps you should try it before condemning it."
"You've got good company in Hiroshi, you know that? Why don't you let him brush your hair, and I'll just leave the underground so you two nut cases can be alone." She started for the door.
"I take it you've changed your mind about me being different from him then," Erik said casually, not even remotely concerned that she was thinking about leaving. She couldn't unlock the front door, there was no chance in Hell she was getting out of his house.
"The only difference is that you murder with style," Lenore grumbled.
"Well, thank you for that little compliment."
"Sick weirdo," Lenore mumbled, opening the door. "Oh, for the love of God, fuck off!"
Hiroshi stood in the doorway, brush in hand. He quickly slapped her across the face. "You don't use that sort of language, kitten. It's not acceptable," he snapped.
Erik saw red. How dare he touch her! After I specifically told him not to. But then again, Lenore knew she wasn't supposed to use that sort of language. And could he really be upset with Hiroshi for simply trying to teach Lenore a lesson? Yes. He's practically implying that I can't even teach her to control her language, it's an insult.
Erik was surprised to find that he'd already shoved Lenore out of his way and had Hiroshi by the throat. "You are not to touch her without my permission," Erik growled. "Is this clear, Hiroshi? If it's not, I suggest you leave."
Hiroshi looked rather unconcerned and merely nodded his head a bit. There was a short pause. "Do I still get to brush her hair?" Hiroshi inquired.
Erik released the man, though it was quite a challenge. "I already granted you permission for that," he answered.
"I'll be waiting in the next room. Rather impatiently," Hiroshi said, walking off down the hall.
Erik slammed the door shut behind Hiroshi and turned to Lenore.
"Thank you," Lenore said timidly, taking a step back from Erik. His eyes burned with anger, and she had a feeling she was in trouble.
"How many times have I told you such language is unacceptable?" The question was posed in a very soft and dangerous tone.
"More than enough," Lenore replied, hoping to wriggle off the hook.
"How dare you flagrantly disobey me! In front of him, no less!" Erik snarled.
"It wasn't a disobedience thing so much as me just being so annoyed with him that I lost control of myself," Lenore explained.
"You dim-witted child!" Erik snapped. "You understand nothing! If word of that gets back to the Condemned Circle, I'll be considered at fault for not having taught you to properly control yourself. Which will result in your being given over to Hiroshi, due to the fact that he is the one considered to have been wronged."
"But…but…well, I didn't know," Lenore protested, close to crying because she realized all too well how likely it was that Hiroshi would tell the Condemned Circle, whoever the hell they were.
"Ignorance is no excuse!"
Lenore sniffled, thinking of a way out of this. "What about hormones? What if we told them I was pmsing?"
Erik seemed to consider that for a moment. "Yes…then the fault would lie on Satan. If he hadn't tempted Eve in the first place…"
"Wait, are you telling me that, down in Hell, the Condemned Circle considers PMS the devil's fault? That's just too weird…"
Erik shrugged. "If it's not too much to ask, find a way to control yourself as long as he's here," Erik instructed.
Lenore nodded; she didn't want to be 'given' to Jack the Ripper. If that happened, she might as well commit suicide to save herself a good deal of pain and suffering. So half an hour later, she was sitting in a chair in the next room with the silk peştemal wrapped around her while Hiroshi happily brushed all the snarls out of her hair.
"Now that all the tangles are gone, you'll need 100 strokes to make your hair shine," Hiroshi proclaimed before she could jump up when she considered him finished.
"But I don't"- she began. Erik was leaning against the wall, and she looked at him a moment. "Alright, but make it fast." Don't hit him, don't hit him, don't hit him…I really just wanna hit him…but I can't…that's a very bad idea. I doubt PMS would be a plausible excuse for physical violence...don't hit him. God, he's so annoying! I can officially say now that I hate Jack the Ripper.
Dark, seductive music began to fill her mind. Oh Erik. How sweet of you to keep me from losing it and just punching this bastard. She closed her eyes and let the music of the night wash over her, sweeping her away from reality.
"Hiroshi is creepy," Lenore complained to the authoress.
"I love you too, kitten," Hiroshi said, giving Lenore a suggestive smirk.
"Don't even think of touching her," Erik threatened. "You stupid wench, keep Hiroshi away from Lenore."
"Hiroshi is supposed to be creepy, he's Jack the Ripper. And I can't really stop him, I'm just a mortal," the authoress explained. "And if people don't review, I'll send Hiroshi after them. Honestly! I'm sick of having close to 100 people read a chapter and getting only 8 or 9 reviews! You don't have to log in, and you don't have to be a member to send me a review! I accept anonymous reviews, and I'd love to hear from you people! Please please please review or I'll have to send out the bloodhound."
"Now, now, dear authoress, I'm not a dog," Hiroshi commented.
"I didn't mean it literally. Besides, don't you wanna kill people?"
"Well, yes, I do so love killing people."
"So, review or I'll send Hiroshi out," the authoress said with a dark chuckle.
"Ooo, you're almost sexy when you do that," Hiroshi remarked. "Maybe I'll have to pay more attention to you instead of kitten."
"Lenore was right. You're creepy…"