Scars and Nightmares: Chapter Twenty-five

AN: This is absolutely not the chapter I meant to write here, at all. Where this leaves off is where I wanted to start this one. I almost threw this entire chapter away, thanks to OCDJen I didn't. This chapter is a little fluffy, don't get used to it though. I've been holding onto this one for a while, debating on posting it.

If you guys are reading OCDJen's fics, I know she hasn't updated in a while, but she is still writing. At the moment she's working on something for the Support Stacie Auction. She will be back eventually, I think her other boys are jealous... haha.

I'm still proud of those of you that got help because of this story, gives me motivation to keep going.

Characters belong to SM

JPOV

"Um... Alice, whatever you want to do is fine with me. It's not like I can run away from you if I don't want to do it, now is it?" I questioned her, Alice snickered.

"Well, no... but I can at least pretend to give you a choice," Alice said with a gleam in her eye. Oh, fucking hell, no. I didn't know what that crazy smurf had planned, but I was not doing it."Let's see... what did I bring today?" This time the only things she pulled out of her bag were cards. She'd left the notebook and crayons there, but I hadn't touched them while Edward was with me. Great, guess I knew what I'd be doing today. Alice slapped the cards down on the hospital tray and pushed it to the bed.

My stomach rumbled with hunger in anticipation of what? Of hospital food? No way. I wasn't about to think that shit tasted good. Alice laughed at my stomach's grumbles and said, "I'm sure your food will be here soon." I only rolled my eyes at her, again.

Her eyes narrowed at me as she told me, "You should really stop rolling your eyes, Jasper. That only makes you look like you don't care." I raised a brow at her. Wasn't that exactly the point? I didn't fucking care, not about much of anything or I wouldn't be here. Her response was to roll her eyes back at me as well and I shot both brows up before she burst into laughter. "Okay, okay, I get it."

"So what game do you have us playing today?" My question only came out annoyed and so whiny that even I would have slapped myself. She slapped my arm lightly, it was a wonder I didn't flinch from it.

"Do you know how to play hand and pony?" Alice asked.

Looking at her dumbly I asked, "What in hell is that?"

"It's a card game, silly. Normally you play in teams, but we'll just play against each other today." Alice explained and then went on to tell me the rules. All I got was it something kind of like canasta, but not. Fucking hell, it was going to take forever to finish that game. Was she intent on making me do the longest games possible? First yesterday's, then today's. Jasper, you are an idiot, of course she is. What else are you going to do in here bored out of your mind? Run a marathon or something? Yeah, right. You already tried to end it all, you aren't running out of here without people chasing after you. Shut the fuck up.

"Alice, do you plan on finishing this game today?" I demanded.

Shrugging at me, she said, "Does it matter? As I told you yesterday it isn't about the cards, it's about the company and the conversation." I only grumbled in response. Alice dealt the cards and tried to show me how to play and of course as I was just figuring it out breakfast came and I knew I'd have to be reminded once again.

Setting the cards aside Alice left me the tray to eat and I attempted to choke it down and keep the sneer off my face as I did so. Alice chuckled beside me and asked, "What? That's not the best food you've ever had?"

Narrowing my eyes at her I flung a forkful of reconstituted, bland, and tasteless eggs at her. "No, it isn't." Alice yelped as the fake eggs landed on her cheek. I couldn't help it, I laughed so hard my sides ached. She swore under her breath.

Her frown was getting deeper by the second and I worried that I had offended her somehow. She was one of the nicest people I'd met in a while, I certainly didn't want her mad at me. I was pretty damn sure she'd make me suffer if I did offend her. Apologizing, I said, "I'm sorry, Alice. Besides, other than my momma's cookin', yours is the best I've ever had." Alice's eyes lit up at that and she gave me a huge hug nearly getting her entire shirt in the eggs. Surprisingly the hug didn't make my skin crawl. Inwardly, I smiled to myself thinking I might, just might, be getting better. If only I really was.

Sitting back down she moved the food off the tray and laid the cards back down. When she was finally completely settled she said, "Thank you." Then her eyes lit up once more. Did they ever dull? Or were they always like that? Would Edward's have been that way if he'd never been through what we had? "We should have a welcome home party, Jasper. Whenever you get out of the psych hospital." What? Was she fucking insane? You don't have parties for that and why would she think I could even tolerate such a thing? A party? A fucking party? Are you serious?

The panic must have shown as my breathing sped because I heard her say from far away, "Calm down, Jasper. We don't have to have one, but I thought at least Edward, Emmett, and me could be there with you when you got out." Hearing the few people she wanted there my racing heart started to calm down.

She tapped my hand letting me know it was my turn as I had finally come back to reality. Trying to figure out what I wanted to lay down and what I didn't, I was startled to hear Alice's voice interrupt me. "So... you and my brother, huh?" What? When did we go from mundane things like cards and food to Edward? I couldn't really stop thinking about him, he was constantly there somewhere in my mind since I met him a few days ago. Well really, he'd been there since I'd seen those videos, but not in the same way.

"Alice..." I warned. "We aren't together and you know it."

She smiled sweetly and said, "Yet." God, I wasn't ready for that. I wanted to be ready, but I just... wasn't. I really liked him and I mean really liked him, but this was just going to have to be slow going because I had no idea what I'd be like when I got out of here. For all I knew he would forget all about me in that hospital and it would be like I never existed, like I really had died before meeting him. Now, full panic was starting to set in and my breathing became shallower.

Feeling a hand on my back, rubbing it, I heard a tiny voice say, "Jasper? Come back to me, Jasper. Come back to us." Her voice trembled on on the come back to us.

Squeezing my eyes shut tight I tried to push the thought away that he would forget me. That honestly hurt more than if we never worked out. I didn't think I'd ever forget him.

An angry voice broke through my mental ramblings as I heard, "Whitlock, get your head out of your ass." What? The only person that called me Whitlock was Emmett and he wasn't here.

Opening one eye and then another the only person in the room with me was Alice. The voice wasn't Alice's. Great, now I really was fucking crazy. I had people talking to me that weren't there, that was my inheritance, the legacy that man had left with me. So? It got you to open your damn eyes, didn't it? Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Go the fuck away. No, I'm never leaving you. You can't take care of yourself, so I will. Fucking hell. Placing my head in my hands and massaging my temples I was trying to work out the headache that was coming on from the stress of all of this.

"Jasper, are you okay?" Alice asked in concern.

"No. Alice, I think I'm going to take a shower?" It came out a question instead of a statement.

Alice looked doubtful, but agreed, "Yeah, go ahead. I'll still be here when you get out."

Getting out of bed on the opposite side as her I slipped in the bathroom and shut the door. I'd forgotten my bag and underwear in the room, but there were towels in here and I could always put the same clothes back on. Sniffing them I decided maybe not, but I'd worry about that later. Right now, I just needed to be clean, needed time to think, alone.