A/N: This is for you, Silver Wind Neko. Because you have the PLAGUE! Or you did 6 months ago when I started this. Whatever!
Disclaimer: If I were Stuart Hill and owned Icemark, I would be rejoicing in my brilliantness on some Caribbean island. But I'm not, so I'm not.
Chatroom: Octavius the Genius
-octaviustheoctopus has entered the room-
Octaviustheoctopus: I'm a genius!
-strikingeagle has entered the room-
Strikingeagle: Is it opposite day or something? Because I just heard Octavius say he was a genius.
-2sexy4myevilness has entered the room-
2sexy4myevilness: You didn't "hear" anything. We're on AIM.
Strikingeagle: GET OUT OF HERE SULLA!
-2sexy4myevilness has left the room-
Octaviustheoctopus: Laugh all you want now, but I've invented something brilliant!
Strikingealge: -rolls eyes- What is it this time!
Octaviustheoctopus: It's amazing!
Strikingeagle: I mean, what kind of thing is it?
Octaviustheoctopus: It's an amazing thing that you will all be jealous of!
Strikingeagle: Just tell me what the heck it is you invented.
Octaviustheoctopus: Wouldn't YOU like to know!
Strikingeagle: I bet you didn't invent anything. Or if you did, it's probably a rock or something.
Octaviustheoctopus: I'm not telling you. You can just stay up at night wracking your brain over what my amazing invention of amazing amazingness is.
Strikingealge: Whatever. I'll just ask your brother.
Octaviustheoctopus: I'm still a genius!
--Later
-2sexy4myevilness has entered the room-
-Strikingeagle has entered the room-
Strikingeagle: Hey, do you know what your brother invented?
2sexy4myevilness: Octavius invented something? It's the apocalypse!
Strikingeagle: He says it's something amazing that we will all be jealous of.
2sexy4myevilness: Is it opposite day or something?
Strikingeagle: Listen, could you just tell me what it is he invented?
2sexy4myevilness: What's the magic word?
Strikingeagle: Tell me OR I'LL SIC GRISHMAK ON YOU.
2sexy4myevilness: You know, that's really not how you should be going about asking for my help. …WAIT! We're enemies! Why would I be helping you!
Strikingeagle: Because I'll kill you otherwise.
2sexy4myevilness: Once you get past the defenses and the security guard's 50-ton Rottweiler on steroids, have fun with that.
Strikingeagle: JUST TELL ME WHAT HE INVENTED!
2sexy4myevilness: Then tell me what your tactics are for tomorrow.
Strikingeagle: What! NO!
2sexy4myevilness: Okay then, bye. I need to get back to cloning my hamster.
-octaviustheoctopus has entered the room-
Octaviustheoctopus: I'm a genius.
2sexy4myevilness: …not.
Octaviustheoctopus: HEY! Just because you've cloned six hamsters and a goldfish, given the neighbor's cat superpowers, grown a square watermelon, and created a working photon cannon does NOT mean you can act all snobby!
Strikingeagle: Well, yes, actually, it does.
Octaviustheoctopus: Shut up.
Octaviustheoctopus: And before you say the name of my invention, you need to pay me a liscencing fee of 20 dollars.
Strikingeagle: It's that amazing?
Octaviustheoctopus: OH YEAH!
2sexy4myevilness: What is it?
Octaviustheoctopus: Oh, don't you start. Because I am never in a lifetime telling either of you, unless it's to brag once I get famous.
2sexy4myevilness: If you don't tell us, I'll sic my twelve hamsters, two goldfish, and the neighbor's bionic cat on you. AND I have a working photon cannon. AND a square watermelon.
Octaviustheoctopus: Okay, it's…
-ihaveabeard has entered the room-
-shadowofthestorm has entered the room-
Shadowofthestorm: Hey everybody!
2sexy4myevilness: …I'm Dr. Nick.
Shadowofthestorm: Guess what Mekhmet and I invented!
Strikingeagle: Not this again.
2sexy4myevilness: Square watermelons are already patented, kiddo.
Octaviustheoctopus: I'm a genius!
Strikingeagle: I heard you the first time, Octavius, now shut up.
Octaviustheoctopus: No! Geniuses can talk as much as they want to enlighten the world. You should be honored.
2sexy4myevilness: You aren't a genius. I think we've established that before.
Octaviustheoctopus: When?
2sexy4myevilness: Porcupine Incident.
Octaviustheoctopus: Oh yeah.
Strikingeagle: What Porcupine Incident?
Octaviustheoctopus: Don't ask.
Strikingeagle: No, this sounds interesting. What was the porcupine incident?
2sexy4myevilness: Indisputable proof that Octavius is not a genius in any sense of the word.
Octaviustheoctopus: Actually, I made a scientific discovery that day.
2sexy4myevilness: Oh, do tell.
Octaviustheoctopus: Porcupines are mean!
Strikingeagle: And how exactly did you discover that?
Octaviustheoctopus: I'd rather not talk about it.
2sexy4myevilness: Several large porcupines attacked his face after he poked them with sticks.
Octaviustheoctopus: I SAID I'D RATHER NOT TALK ABOUT IT.
Strikingeagle: Well, that's what you get! You poked them with sticks!
Octaviustheoctopus: Thank you for your support. That was a very traumatic event.
2sexy4myevilness: For YOU. I thought it was hilarious.
Shadowofthestorm: It sounds hilarious.
Ihaveabeard: Hey, guess what Sharley and I invented.
Octaviustheoctopus: Gaaaaah...
Strikingeagle: Just guess. I give up, Mekhmet, what did you and Sharley invent?
Shadowofthestorm: A robotic porcupine!
Octaviustheoctopus: AAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH! THE PORCUPINES FOUND ME! THEY'RE OUT TO GET ME! CALL THE WITNESS PROTECTION PROGRAM! AUUUUUUUUUUGH!
-octaviustheoctopus has left the room-
Shadowofthestorm: What's with him?
Strikingeagle: Post-porcupine trauma.
2sexy4myevilness: Sharley, Mekhmet, I'd like to buy that porcupine.
Strikingeagle: Can you make me one too?
Shadowofthestorm: Sure!
ihaveabeard: We could get rich off this.
-octaviustheoctopus has entered the room-
Octaviustheoctopus: DIE PORCUPINES DIE!! BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!
Shadowofthestorm: Is that your battle cry? "Blaaaaaaaaah?"
Strikingeagle: Ours is so much cooler.
2sexy4myevilness: What are you doing back here anyway? I thought you were too traumatized by porcupines.
Octaviustheoctopus: AUUUUUUUUGH! PORCUPINES! ...Um, well, I've decided to overcome my fear.
2sexy4myevilness: Look, a porcupine.
Octaviustheoctopus: AUUUUUUUUGH! THEY FOUND ME! TAKE COVER!
-octaviustheoctopus has left the room-
Strikingeagle: Good! While he's gone we can figure out what his invention is ... right?
2sexy4myevilness: Yes. His constant insistence that he is a genius is getting on my nerves.
ihaveabeard: Wait...aren't all three of you evil geniuses?
- coffeeisbeastly has entered the room-
Coffeeisbeastly: We find that the evil genius gene skipped him.
Shadowofthestorm: Does that mean he's a mutant?
Coffeeisbeastly: ...
-octaviustheoctopus has entered the room-
Octaviustheoctopus: GET OUT OF HERE CHARLEMAGNE!
Shadowofthestorm: Make me.
Octaviustheoctopus: Make me make you.
Shadowofthestorm: Make me make you make me.
Coffeeisbeastly: Okay, stop it.
Octaviustheoctopus: Make us.
Coffeeisbeastly: RAR!
Octaviustheoctopus: Yes sir.
-wildcat has entered the room-
Octaviustheoctopus: GUESS WHAT! I'M A GENIUS!
Coffeeisbeastly: No, you're not. Porcupine Incident.
Strikingeagle: You're never going to let him forget that, are you?
2sexy4myevilness: Never.
Wildcat: Wait...did Octavius just say he was a genius?
Coffeeisbeastly: That's what I heard as well.
Wildcat: Well, that's understandable. Old guys always lose their hearing.
Coffeeisbeastly: That's it. You're going down.
Wildcat: That's what you always say and look where that's got you.
Octaviustheoctopus: I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT I AM ACTUALLY A GENIUS BECAUSE I INVENTED SOMETHING COOL!
Wildcat: What is it?
Coffeeisbeastly: Could it possibly be used in war?
Octaviustheoctopus: Well it certainly worked on...
Octaviustheoctopus: I can't say it! That may give clues to what it is.
Coffeeisbeastly: Tell us what the invention is.
Octaviustheoctopus: NOOOOO! It's too awesome! Its awesomeness and power lies in its secrecy!
Coffeeisbeastly: So it's a spy thing.
Octaviustheoctopus: I didn't say that.
Octaviustheoctopus:I guess I can tell you guys now. It's been long enough. My invention is...
Strikingeagle: Get on with it!
Octaviustheoctopus: Drumroll...
Coffeeisbeastly: Tell us!
Octaviustheoctopus: Is this how you and Sulla feel all the time? This is cool.
2sexy4myevilness: OCTAVIUS!
Octaviustheoctopus: Okay. I have invented a way to control people's thoughts.
Wildcat: Whaaat?
Octaviustheoctopus: It's quite simple. By going on and on about how I am a genius and have invented something awesome, powerful and secret, all of you were instantly curious. Then you spent the entire day trying to figure out what it was. It occupied your thoughts, you couldn't concentrate on anything else! It worked!
Shadowofthestorm: ...
Coffeeisbeastly: ...
Wildcat: ...
Strikingeagle: ...
ihaveabeard: ...
2sexy4myevilness: ... That's pretty cool.
Coffeeisbeastly: I suppose that is an awesome and powerful invention. Maybe the evil genius gene didn't skip you as much as we had thought.
Shadowofthestorm: Hey Octavius! Check out this awesome robotic porcupine!
Octaviustheoctopus: AUUUUGH! A PORCUPINE!
-Octaviustheoctopus has left the room-
Wildcat: Or maybe it did.
-wildcat has left the room-
Coffeeisbeastly: I need my four o'clock dose of caffeine.
2sexy4myevilness: And I need to clone my hamster. Again.
-coffeeisbeastly has left the room-
-2sexy4myevilness has left the room-
-strikingeagle has left the room-
Shadowofthestorm: Hey Mekhmet! Let's go make more of those robotic porcupines!
ihaveabeard: Yeah! Scaring Octavius Bellorum is fun.
Shadowofthestorm: I'm getting some evil ideas.
-Shadowofthestorm has left the room-
-ihaveabeard has left the room-
Well, that's that. A very belated get-well present for my beta. Tell me how you liked it.
Oh, and I might take away some of the earlier non-Inbox, non-Chatroom chapters and move them to a different story, possibly titled "Icemark Outtakes". And I might revise "Bubble Troubled" and make it a sort of companion oneshot. I just think that those chapters don't really fit with the whole Inbox theme. But to replace them ... drumroll please... actual imboxes! The ones we've all been waiting for! If I don't write them quickly, poke me, PM me, throw porcupines...I'm a huge procrastinator and I need people with actual work ethics to get me to update. That's what betas are for, haha.