Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Kyoudai in Kōtetsu
Sesshomaru & Inuyasha: Brothers in Arms

Daiisshō 25 - Gimudukeru Kanojo
Chapter 25-Indebted to Her

Sesshomaru wondered about the pointlessness of continuing this conversation. The hanyou, he knew, harbored his own guilt. But he knew not what to say to eliminate it or to help him understand that it was merely customary among youkai. Had their chichi-ue not mated with his haha-ue to become lord of the western lands? Had he not likely mated with the hanyou's okaa-san for some other strategic advantage, though he knew not what that might be. Youkai often selected mates that benefited them. It is true he had avoided placing himself in such situations, and he had not specifically selected the hidenka; but now that he was here, if his life must now include her, he would accept it, even if unwillingly.

"Since this is not a prospect that I truly desire, Inuyasha; do you not believe I have exhausted all other possibilities," he asked, refraining from making the comment he would have easily made in the past. That he would not be in this situation if the hanyou had not been so stubborn and pig headed and had rushed out to protect a youkai who sought only to destroy him. But he knew that was not the entirety of the situation.

"There is no point in fighting me on this unless you can tell me how to become her protector without fully committing myself," Sesshomaru said, taking a seat in the large, oversized chair once more. "I cannot allow her to return to the Suzaku compound any more than I can lock her in a room. Since I have no desire to reside in her compound; she would be out of my sight and anything could happen in such an instance," the youkai lord said, realizing there was an anger building inside him and he was uncertain why. Could it be that simply explaining his situation to the hanyou made his fate seem far more of a reality? "She is an adult female, and cannot simply follow me around. So how do you propose I proceed?"

Inuyasha reflected on his brother's words. He wasalways fighting with him. A short while ago he acknowledged he wanted to try again. This wasn't the way to start. Would this be a continuous issue between them? If he did not want it to be, he had to make the effort to stop it now.

"Sesshomaru, I know you're angry at me. I don't blame you. This is my fault. If I had…"

"I am not," Sesshomaru quickly interrupted. At the moment, he believed his hidden anger was more directed at himself, or perhaps the hidenka for foolishly giving her life force. "And this is not your responsibility to bear. I am the lord of the western lands, every event that occurred since Princess Edera's arrival near my camp, is my responsibility. The events of that battle were all directed by my hand."

Inuyasha knew Sesshomaru said that only to ease his guilt. But he couldn't just sit back and let him do that. He knew he had no idea what else he could tell him; except perhaps one thing.

"Sesshomaru," Inuyasha began slowly. He believed he knew what his brother probably felt; just the thought of his own planned proposal left him feeling uncomfortable. He had vaguely heard of youkai obligation in the past, but he'd had no idea how far they could go. "I'll let it go, if you answer a couple of questions for me."

Uncertain where the hanyou's thoughts would now lead, the youkai lord tensed as he studied him intently. But it was not his objective to leave him without guidance any longer. "What are they?"

"Hidenka Akatsuki saved my life, and now she's lying in that room almost dying; maybe she is, I don't know," Inuyasha shook his head somberly, his guilt weighing heavily, as he directed his gaze to the floor. "Why is it your responsibility to be her protector, when I'm the one whose life she saved and she's almost dead because of that? Is it because I'm a hanyou and she's a youkai, or because I'm nothing and she's a hidenka and you're a lord?"

Sesshomaru studied him closely. Is that why the hanyou had not behaved as the son of a daiyoukai should; because he held such little value in his own worth? "Let me say, I will answer your questions if you consider this," the youkai lord waited for the young hanyou to meet his gaze. "Which of the two of us came here with the hidenka while she was in excellent health but did not ensure her safe return to the western lands?" Sesshomaru responded once he'd gotten his attention. "And tell me which of us placed her in a situation that caused her to endanger her life?" he continued studying him as Inuyasha lowered his head in contemplation but said nothing.

The youkai lord was certain the hanyou should now know which of them held the greater responsibility. "As for your question, in truth you are my brother, chichi-ue's second heir," Sesshomaru began as he focused his thoughts. "That means you are currently third in line to rule the western lands. But there are many contingencies you would have to overcome," he said as he shifted in his chair, then rose and stood directly in front of the hanyou. "I would have to die without a mate and before producing an heir," he said as he continued to look down at the hanyou who refused to look up at him. "Of course, there are a host of other contingencies as relates to my haha-ue, since you are chichi-ue's heir, not hers."

Finally, Sesshomaru turned and moved toward the window to look out onto his only safe haven once more. He knew his haha-ue would likely do anything in her power to prevent the hanyou from taking control of the western lands. Unlike her son, she would never accept him. He wondered if any of that mattered now, anyway. The path his life was now destined to travel, he would probably be forced to take control in time, even if he did not confront her regarding his chichi-ue's death. But he could do nothing, until the hidenka recovered. When had his life gotten so complicated? Why had he allowed the hidenka to make it so?

"As for you being a hanyou, I believe any youkai; hidenka or not, would be proud to have you as their protector," Sesshomaru said as he turned toward him again. "Although station does at times affect potential outcomes," he said rather slowly and thoughtfully. "But in this case, the true reason Hidenka Akatsuki is my responsibility, is because I am the current lord of the western lands, she is a hidenka under my rule, and I allowed her to accompany me outside those lands," and that, he did not understand, since he had never valued the abilities of sorceresses. "I allowed her to protect those under my care, while I waged battle and she was damaged in so doing. If I could restore her to health, then my obligation would essentially be fulfilled, except perhaps for some minor irritants," he paused as he looked down at the sword at his hip feeling as if he had done that for the hundredth time, but the sword remained silent as before.

"But since Tenseiga does not wish to oblige; I believe I will have to retrieve one of her own clan members to help her recover. And thus," he paused slightly before continuing; "it will be my obligation to become her future protector, since I did not protect her now."

"Sesshomaru, you said it yourself," Inuyasha began as he lifted his head, studying his older brother uncertainly. "The hidenka has a lot of fire power. Why does a youkai with that much fire power need a protector?"

"It is not simply a matter of what she needs, Inuyasha;" Sesshomaru responded, directing a glance across his shoulder. "It is what she is entitled to for the service she provided."

"Well, you're the lord of the western lands, aren't you?" Inuyasha began hesitantly; as he watched his brother focus his attention through the window for what seemed the fiftieth time. Sesshomaru said he never lied; it wasn't that he thought he was lying now, but he knew instinctively that he wasn't as settled about his potential future as he wanted him to think. He did not exactly pace, but his inability to sit still for 10 consecutive minutes, spoke of the irritation that was steadily building within him. Inuyasha believed he knew him well enough to know he would accept whatever he felt was his obligation; no matter what it was. He was too proud not to. "Why don't you just change the rules? Or maybe your mother can."

"And do you believe that would be honorable, for either of us?"

Inuyasha continued trying to think of some scheme to help his brother get out of a situation that he was positive he had put him in. Why hadn't he simply gone with him when he'd come yesterday? Why had he wanted him to prove that he cared? "Well, what if she dies, then what happens?"

"First, let me say I hope she does not. That is also no honorable way out for any youkai of status," the youkai lord responded, knowing full well that there was a strong possibility that she may well do that. Until, and unless she could be saved, his future remained an uncertainty. "But if she did, then I would be obligated to become her sister's protector if she has one. But since Hidenka Akatsuki has already told me that her sister died some time ago, I would be obligated to either protect the next female youkai of status in her clan, or her clan itself."

"So this just goes on and on? You're stuck, no matter what?"

"I do not look at it as being 'stuck' as you say. I look at it as an obligation between honorable youkai," Sesshomaru said, knowing full well that he was making every attempt to convince himself that it was no more than that; just an obligation. There was no need for him to be overly concerned about possibly having to commit to the hidenka. If he looked at his situation honestly, it was not all negative prospects for him. "A simple service obligation can be set for some agreed period of time, but even that is usually quite lengthy; hundreds of years in fact."

"Hundreds of years," Inuyasha repeated dumbstruck. But he should have realized that; unless they were killed or died unnaturally in some way, youkai normally lived for thousands of years; just look at Princess Edera.

"That is why youkai are accustomed to fighting their own personal battles and do not generally seek assistance," Sesshomaru said rather stoically; all the while wondering what was it about the hanyou, that had caused him to change his approach so drastically. Was it simply because of a promise? But he knew once he had made it, he would never have betrayed his own honor. "You may be unaware of this, but that is how Jaken came into my service," the youkai lord's features clouded over as his thoughts drifted back through the years. "At the time, it was not my intent to save his life; I sought only to clear the path of a disgusting insect. Being an honorable youkai, Jaken actually pleaded with me to take him into my service; despite the fact that he, himself, was in command of hundreds. Although I spend more time saving his life now, than anything," Sesshomaru said as he considered whether taking the little youkai on, had turned out to be more of a negative prospect than anything.

"So you mean if Hidenka Akatsuki was a male youkai and the same thing happened, then even you, the lord of the western lands would be obligated to provide service to him?"

"That is the youkai way."

"Is that why you never wanted my help?"

"Since we are kin, such obligations are generally not an issue," Sesshomaru said thoughtfully as he recalled his earlier intended objectives. "But they do often come into play. If chichi-ue had asked, I may well have assisted, considering his injury; but of that I am uncertain," he confessed, then decided to offer his reasons for his recent change of heart. "When I told you I considered compelling you to travel with me, it is because some time after that battle with Sou'unga, I finally understood why chichi-ue left you the Tetsusaiga. I had previously learned of its importance in tempering your youkai blood but of course, chichi-ue wanted us to unite, although I sincerely believe he picked the worst path to that route. But still, I made an oath that I would try. I believed if we could not be friends in general passing, perhaps we could be friends through forced association. As for your help, I never wanted your help because I never believed I required anyone's assistance," the youkai lord did not admit that he had never previously thought the hanyou could be of any assistance to this Sesshomaru." I have always believed I had sufficient power to stand on my own as a daiyoukai."

Inuyasha lowered his head thoughtfully for a few minutes. "Well, if you do this and three years from now, you wake up and you're miserable, are you gonna blame me?" he wanted to know.

"So this is about you, is it?" Sesshomaru's eyes glazed with realization as he turned to study the hanyou.

"No, it's about you and what you're planning to do," Inuyasha insisted stubbornly. "I just want to know if you're really all right with this, or if you're gonna just dump on the stupid hanyou if you wake up miserable one day."

"No, I will not blame you," Sesshomaru said with assurance, then added, "I define my life as I so choose; despite any unwanted obligations. But," he paused with a slight glint in his eyes, as he continued studying the hanyou, a reality sinking into his head. "If I do this, and three years from now I wake up and find I am what you would call 'very happy', I will not thank you either."

Inuyasha's own eyes glinted as he grunted a soft grin, "Deal." He decided not to push any further. He'd done enough to test his brother's patience. He didn't know anything about youkai business and it was probably best if he didn't challenge what he didn't understand.

After continuing their conversation for a short while more, Inuyasha finally retired for the night, but Sesshomaru returned to sit with Hidenka Akatsuki, he wanted to monitor her health to ensure her recovery. Upon entering her bedroom, however, he was immediately concerned that her breathing was still so very faint. In fact, he could not convince himself that it had not become even fainter than it had been the last time he had listened.

Standing beside her bed, he leaned forward and inhaled her scent as he simultaneously placed his palm flat against the vein in her throat. His eyes widened, as he realized he had scented what his ears had also detected. The coolness of her flesh concealed nothing. She was not getting stronger at all, in fact, she was slowly dying. Silently, the youkai lord cursed himself for not knowing what was wrong with her or how to help. He even cursed her for putting herself in such a predicament. He cursed Tenseiga for its silence, and he stopped just short of cursing his chichi-ue for bequeathing him a sword with so much potential, but so many limitations. But he did not understand this. Was this a result of her compassion, or a result of her simple foolishness? Either way, he could do without it. But the youkai lord had a sense that it had nothing to do with either. If anything, this was likely a sign of her obligation to her lord. As his thoughts ran the gamut, the youkai lord quickly evaluated what retrieving assistance for her deteriorating condition would truly mean to his life.

If he had simply grabbed the hanyou by the neck when he had initially arrived and pulled him through that barrier, this could have all been avoided. He could have withstood the hanyou's anger had he done that, but because he had refused to acknowledge that the hanyou had not requested his assistance, and had essentially lied to him; he had initiated a battle that resulted in his brother's death. If his concern for the tortured look in the hanyou's eyes had not tormented him so; Hidenka Akatsuki would not even have been here; because he would never have utilized her amulet. If his own compassion for the hanyou had not grown to such sadness over his death, she probably would not have risked her own life. Despite the fact that that was foolishness in itself, her current condition was his fault, all because his pride had not wanted him to fail; because he had never failed. And he would not fail now; because he would not allow the Suzaku hidenka to die.

Not willing to wait longer and risk her life further, Sesshomaru moved quickly to prepare for the journey and with all deliberate speed, engulfed himself in his kyuu shou sphere and headed straight for the Suzaku compound.

Upon his arrival, he found the castle residents in an uproar. He could scent an immediate discomfort at his presence. Despite the unexpected visit from their lord, he knew most of the agitation surrounding him had erupted long before his arrival.

Apparently Hidenka Akatsuki's mother, Kisaki Masumi, also a life sorceress, had sensed the impending death of her last daughter. But because of the hidenka's unconscious state, she had been unable to determine her precise location; or the reasons affecting her condition. After experiencing the utter distress of the Suzaku Kisaki and the steady, penetrating gaze of her father, the Kokuō, the youkai lord quickly explained the situation. Sesshomaru had no trouble sensing the grave dislike the Kokuō directed toward the youkai who had caused his daughter to suffer such grave injuries. But he could not concern himself with that now; the hidenka's life was his primary concern.

As distressed as their Kisaki clearly was, and equally concerned with the health of their hidenka, two handmaidens quickly bustled about their castle to retrieve what they felt were critical items before rushing to the youkai lord's side.

As he waited, Sesshomaru assessed all the youkai who would likely now impact his life in a manner he would never previously have thought. Unlike Hidenka Akatsuki, the handmaidens were small, dark-haired Suzaku clan members with fair skin. Not knowing much about the Suzaku clan because of their reclusive nature, not to mention his own previous disinterest in anything he had deemed unimportant, he believed that like his own clan, there were not many white-haired Suzaku members remaining. He considered that to be a result of their failed attempt to take Princess Edera's life after she had killed the hidenka's younger sister. He seemed to recall hearing that their hair coloring along with their royal status had something to do with the level of power they possessed.

Despite his scent of clearly being a Suzaku, himself; the Kokuō with his darker appearance did not appear to be native to these lands. It was clear that the hidenka got her darker coloring from him, while she obtained her beauty from the Kisaki. But neither the Kokuō's advanced age, nor his height, though a few inches shorter than the youkai lord's, did anything to conceal the fact that he contained significant power that he was, at this very moment, restraining himself from unleashing upon the youkai that stood before him; his lord or not.

Upon exiting the castle, the youkai lord quickly discovered that the handmaidens did not possess the ability to fly as they indicated they would have to retrieve the hidenka's winged horse. Unwilling to waste further time, Sesshomaru wrapped his arms around them, swiftly engulfing them all in his kyuu shou, and returned to the southern castle as rapidly as he had departed.

After leading them to the hidenka's bedroom, Sesshomaru informed them he would retire to the living area to await the diagnosis. Silently, he hoped he had not been too late.

Four hours later, the handmaidens located him to inform him that had he waited any longer, the hidenka may well have died. They did believe, however, that with the assistance they had provided that she would now recover; but they would have to wait and see since her condition was so grave.

Ashira, the head handmaiden displayed some small degree of hesitation before she pointed out that there were still several problems that might yet prevent the hidenka's recovery. She explained that despite the fact that they had managed to supplement the hidenka's life force, she was still too weak to move, but she reluctantly added that her mistress would never recover in this castle with its current situation.

Apparently, the magic surrounding it still endangered what little life she still clung to. If the hidenka was stronger, they would be able to shut down her sensor abilities, but because they would not be able to do that for several days after her strength returned, they needed to enchant the castle for her protection. But the additional problem was that the ningyou youkai standing guard around the castle walls were enchanted in such a manner that they were draining the hidenka's strength despite their efforts and had to be destroyed.

Regretting that he knew so little about her and had likely endangered her even more by bringing the hidenka inside, Sesshomaru wasted no time doing exactly that. Having smashed every ningyou he saw to smithereens, the youkai lord quickly informed the handmaidens that they could now utter whatever incantations that were necessary.

Later, with the handmaidens retiring to a couple of nearby bedrooms to recuperate themselves, Sesshomaru returned to, and remained by Hidenka Akatsuki's side. He noticed immediately, that her breathing was far more rhythmic than it had been on any of the previous occasions, and he was grateful for that, although her handmaidens had told him she would likely sleep for the next ten to twelve days as her body's life force continued to regenerate.

When Inuyasha had awakened the next morning, he realized that for the first time since he'd been in the castle, he had the opportunity to enjoy food that didn't have the disgusting taste of what was served under Princess Edera's rule. Instead, in the daidokoro he had found bags of rice and had gone to a nearby stream with Rin and caught some fish.

Upon his return, though surprised to discover that others were now in the castle; the hanyou was grateful when one of Hidenka Akatsuki's handmaidens appeared to offer a hand with the cooking. Knowing little about cooking himself, he wasn't sure if he should simply leave it up to Rin, but didn't think he had any other choice.

Bathera, the apparent junior handmaiden, as she'd introduced herself; mentioned that Ashira, the head handmaiden was currently tending to the hidenka and they would likely meet her later. After explaining that she loved to cook, but got little to no opportunity to do that at the Suzaku compound; with the assistance of Rin, Jaken and even Inuyasha, Bathera prepared a delightful breakfast of steamed rice, grilled fish, miso soup, and various other little side dishes. Inuyasha couldn't help but think; maybe it wouldn't be such a bad thing having the hidenka in their lives after all. He hadn't eaten like that since Kagome was around.

Later that evening, as the youkai lord sat by the hidenka's bedside, he knew not where to direct his anger more. At Inuyasha for being such a foolish hanyou, who would rush into situations with no plans of escape; at his chichi-ue for having such a foolish hanyou son; at himself for allowing himself to be placed in such a predicament; or at the youkai hidenka for having come to him for the sake of a hanyou whom he should have left to his own devices. But especially at the hidenka for being so foolish as to give her life force for a hanyou whom she did not know.

Was the world now filled with foolish youkai who cared not for their own survival? Had it started with his own chichi-ue? Had he freely given his life to protect that human woman and her son? But more importantly, what would these undesirable changes do to his previously structured life? To be surrounded by a hanyou he barely understood, and more importantly, to be the protector of a youkai he knew even less about.

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A/N: Well, it looks like Sesshomaru certainly thought the hidenka's acts to save his brother were foolish, especially since it seems to have endangered her life. He didn't want to have to go get help because that would leave him in a position he didn't want to be in. Now that he had to, does that mean he will become her automatic body guard? He certainly doesn't want to be, but will he accept his fate?

Akatsuki - (Aurora/Dawn)
chichi-ue - (father)
Daidokoro - (kitchen)

Haramaki - (armor)
hidenka - (princess)
Kisaki - (queen)
Kokuō - (king)
kyuu shou - (flying flight sphere, ball, orb – Sessy's ball energy)
ningyou youkai - (puppet demons)
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