Rachel lay on her back staring at the ceiling above her bed. Her mind
was reeling. She didn't know what to think anymore. She didn't
know how to think. How to feel. Her world was upside down. She didn't
know her own thoughts; which were reasonable? Which were
un-comprehendible?
"Everyone's talking about me… they all
know I deserved it… I don't care what they've said to Eddie –
if they have said that at all… maybe he's only saying those words
to me to try and make me feel better… how could they possibly send
their love? How could they possibly feel anything but disgust towards
me after what they know now?"
The tears in her eyes threatened
to overspill as her breath caught in her throat. She pulled her arms
up around her head and rolled over onto her side, her forearms
covering her face. She cried. Softly, she cried. Slowly, she fell
asleep.
His body pushed down on top of her. His face
inches from hers,
"Come on Amanda, don't pretend to be all
prudish with me now! Your secrets out, we all know you're a whore
so lets not pretend that you're anything but! Just get this over
and done with, and you can go back to being Miss Rachel Mason."
"No please…stop" Her speech was wracked with tears. Breath
fought its way through her throat as pain savaged its way through her
evidently broken ribs. He quickly grabbed at her face, his thumb and
forefinger dug into her cheeks as he squeezed. She winced, crying out
again and trying to pull herself away. He held her tightly forcing
her to look at him as he moved his face even closer to her.
"We
both know why this is happening."
She could feel his breath
against her skin.
"Don't we?"
She shook her head.
"You
actually think you deserve more than this?" he screamed at her,
genuinely perplexed and concerned by her response.
"You spent
years on your back with your legs in the air for money" he looked
deep into her eyes, "and now you think you deserve respect… you
think you deserve to be loved… you're dirty. You will NEVER be
worth more than this."
He pulled her hands above her head,
pinning them to the ground.
Eddie heard muffled cries
through the wall.
"She's dreaming again" he thought to
himself. He quietly left his bed and crept along the hallway to
Rachel's door, pushing it ajar slightly so he could see her. His
heart broke as he saw her wrecked sleeping form.
Eddie jumped as
suddenly she gasped out loud, opening her eyes and sitting upright
clutching at her chest and gasping for breath. He quickly moved
towards her, climbing onto the bed beside her as she began to
breakdown. She covered her face with her hands embarrassed only for
Eddie to pull them back down. She had no reason to be embarrassed. He
pulled her towards him and he held her as they both sat upright in
the middle of her double bed. He stroked her hair as she sobbed
against him. He soothed her as she released her anguish.
They
sat together, Rachel wrapped in Eddies arms for a short while.
Neither of them knew exactly for how long. She didn't pull away as
she whispered, her voice strained from crying,
"Do you think I
deserved it?"
He pulled away, turning to look at her
disbelievingly, shocked at her words. He looked into her eyes and
realised she was deadly serious. He fought back tears as he
responded, looking directly at her to ensure she understood his
words,
"No Rachel. You did not deserve this."
He looked at
her incredulously, shaking his head,
"Why would you think…"
She
shrugged her shoulders. He looked down at her. He noticed her frail
form. He noted her eyes were tired, lifeless. He saw that she was
breaking inside.
He listened closely as she responded,
"How
could I expect him to accept that I am saying no to him… when I
have worked as… when I've let other people…" Her voice began
to quiver as her eyes threatened to spill again. He held her face
gently in his palms, forcing her sad eyes to look at him.
"Because
Rachel. You. Said. No. He beat you. He held you down. And he raped
you."
She shook her head, her face crumbling as she pulled away
from him. He held her face softly again, refusing to let her back
away now.
"Nobody deserves that."
She fell into his arms
once more.
