Author's Note

Previously on Boy Meets Girl Meets Skins: Effy, Naomi and Emily meet up with Cook at the Fitch house to offer 'Emily' encouragement as he tries to bake a cake which he finally succeeds in doing. The gang meet up at Cook's uncle's pub to recreate the scene of Cook's birthday party and the cake is produced for 'Cook' to attempt to eat all on her own.

It had been almost forty minutes since Emily had started tucking into the double chocolate chip cake that Cook had miraculously managed to bake that morning and she was still only about a third of the way through it. It wasn't a case of Emily not being a big fan of chocolate cake – quite the opposite, in fact, she loved it - nor was her slowness at eating it down to the fact that the cake wasn't particularly good. Whilst Cook was never going to win any culinary design awards or get an invite onto Ready Steady Cook (!), he had succeeded in producing a passable imitation of Emily's original impressive effort.

It was simply the sheer volume of cake consumption required of her that was presenting Emily with such a daunting proposition. Normally she could wolf down a couple of generously proportioned slices without any trouble at all but she would always refuse a third helping for fear of quickly bloating herself out and, even worse still, throwing up that extra portion within minutes of forcing it down her throat. As she surveyed the substantial amount of cake still left for her to consume, she experienced a sickly feeling in her stomach which perfectly complemented the increasing nervous and apprehensive sensations she was feeling in her head. She wasn't at all convinced she had the stomach for the task, quite literally!

'You're doing brilliantly, Cook,' encouraged Naomi, flashing a big smile of admiration and encouragement at Emily. 'Keep going. Take your time, there's no rush.'

'Naomi's right, there's no hurry. Take as many breathers as you want. It's important to pace yourself over the afternoon.' Effy could sense that Emily was just beginning to struggle a bit. She reckoned she was probably in dire need of some positive comments and encouragement from the rest of the gang if she wasn't to duck out of the mission and the brunette was determined to give her friend all the support she could. However there was at least one person there who clearly wasn't intent on giving 'Cook' all the backing that 'he' needed.

'For fuck's sake! I'm not going to sit here all afternoon watching Cook eat his way through an entire cake again! At this rate it could take for hours!' Katie had decided she had to make it very clear how she stood on the prospect of spending a whole thrilling afternoon doing nothing but watch one person eat a cake all on his own. This was not how she would have chosen to pass away her valuable time when she could have been enjoying herself rolling around with Danny.

'Shut up, Katie,' said an angry Naomi, who was getting more and more pissed off with the older twin's negativity and impatience. She wanted to really let rip at the girl for being such an obnoxious pig towards her sister but knew she couldn't. For one thing Katie wasn't aware that 'Cook' was actually really her sister and secondly she was worried that if she did throw caution to the wind and tell Katie exactly what she thought of her then the older twin might get up and leave. Naomi had bought into this surreal and outrageous plan of Effy's one hundred per cent now and was convinced that their efforts to reverse the original transformation process would fail if any of the birthday party crowd left before Emily had finally eaten all the cake. Therefore she had to accept that Katie would need to stay and Naomi would have to bite her tongue to a large extent.

'No, I fucking won't! You shut up. Just because you're not interested in boys doesn't mean all of us girls have got to keep you company all day. If you think I would rather sit here with you watching Cook eat a cake than be out with my boyfriend, then you're even more of a freak and a weirdo than I thought.'

'Katie, this isn't helping, you know,' said 'Cook' in a small, sad voice which caused Freddie and JJ to look first at 'Cook' and then at each other in silent amazement. This was a seriously out of sorts best mate they were observing that afternoon. Freddie couldn't stop himself from making the astute observation that seemed to have escaped everyone else.

'How come you're making such a meal of eating the whole cake, Cook? Only a few weeks ago you wolfed the whole thing down in front of us all in about fifteen minutes.'

Emily looked at Naomi and Effy for help. She didn't know how to answer Freddie's very pertinent and awkward question without giving the game away. She was breathing heavily and looking hard at the cake, trying to gauge how big the next helping should be that she would attempt to force down her throat.

'So you think it's a piece of piss eating a whole cake that size, do you, Freddie?' asked Naomi with just a touch of sarcasm.

'Well, no, I suppose not. I mean, I couldn't. But Cook had no trouble polishing it off last time. I just don't understand why he's finding it so difficult today, that's all.'

'I'll get there, don't you worry. I just need a bit of time, that's all. And I could do without you all putting pressure on me.' Emily took a deep breath and reached out a hand to pick up the next large chunk of the cake and brought it slowly to her mouth before tucking in once more. This latest slice meant that practically half the cake had now been eaten and she tried to take some encouragement from that simple bit of mathematical analysis.

'I don't understand why it's so important for Cook to do this,' said a confused JJ. 'What did you mean when you said you had to do it if we wanted to see the old Cook again?'

'JJ, please stop asking all these questions. Right now what Cook needs is our support and encouragement, not the fucking Spanish Inquisition.' Naomi was getting fed up with everyone's suspicions and negative attitude and was desperately trying to rally round her friend who she sensed was buckling under the weight of expectation that was being forced upon her. Emily was doing so well, she thought. Why couldn't they all just leave her alone! It simply wasn't fair! Give the girl a break!

'Cook' took a succession of really deep breaths and was unable to keep back any longer the burp that 'he' had been desperately trying to suppress for the last five very uncomfortable minutes. Out it came with incredible ferocity and volume and it took all the others so much by surprise that one or two of them gasped in open-mouthed astonishment before they all burst out into uncontrollable laughter. Even Katie was moved to smile and join in the general shared amusement as Emily instinctively put her hand to her mouth in embarrassment and mumbled a short apology.

'I'm sorry, guys. I couldn't hold that in any longer.'

'Do you feel better for that, now?' asked a concerned Naomi who, despite having laughed at the impressive belching display along with all the others, was now feeling sorry she had done so and was trying to cover up her shame by trying to turn it into a positive action.

Emily puffed out her cheeks and said 'I think so. My stomach was really starting to hurt before. It feels a bit better for having got that out.'

There was now only a quarter of the chocolate cake remaining and yet Emily was convinced she couldn't force another piece of it into her mouth. She was utterly sick of the sight of that cake now and doubted whether she would ever be able to eat chocolate cake again after this day. It really did seem to be true that you can have too much of a good thing, she concluded with a tinge of disappointment. She wondered randomly if that applied to sex as well. Maybe it depended who you were having sex with?

'Well, I 'm bored out of my mind AND I'm absolutely starving,' said Katie. 'I'm sure you can spare one piece of cake, Cook.' She stretched out an arm towards the middle of the table, clearly intent on helping herself to a piece of the cake. 'Emily' was sitting right next to her and so was in prime position to grab Katie's arm firmly as Naomi, Effy and 'Cook' all yelled out 'No!' 'No, you don't Katie,' said 'Emily', pulling 'her' sister back, as the older twin tried to fight off her sister whilst swearing and shouting with mounting rage.

'Get off me, Emily! Don't you fucking tell me what I can and can't do! If I want a piece of that cake, I'll have one. None of you have the right to stop me!'

'We don't have the right, Katie, we're just asking you not to have any of it. Please, for our sake, do it as a favour to us, will you?' Effy intervened in a calm, controlled manner, aware that Katie was on the verge of laying waste to all their plans and realising that a delicate, diplomatic touch was needed to diffuse a potentially explosive and disastrous situation.

'Why is it so fucking important? And how come you and Naomi are as thick as thieves all of a sudden? Why are you being so secretive and evasive about this stupid cake thing and how does it involve Cook and Emily? What the fuck is going on?'

Katie's barrage of questions, delivered seemingly in one long breathless rush of pent-up frustration and emotion, silenced the gang who looked at each other to see who was going to calm down a clearly wound up Katie who looked on the point of losing her temper altogether. Naomi's heart sunk and she looked over at Effy who was shaking her head in mild irritation at Katie's little tantrum.

'Katie, calm down, stop making such a big deal out of this. Nobody's trying to have a go at you, you know. We want you to be with us on this, not against us. We all need to stick together and help Cook to get through this.'

'This is ridiculous! I'm not hanging around a minute longer to listen to all this bollocks. I'm off.'

Katie stood up and started to make her way towards the door with a real sense of purpose. Her sullen expression and firmly closed mouth suggested she was struggling hard to control her temper. She had scarcely got half way there before Naomi had intercepted her and barred her way to a dramatically stroppy exit.

'You're not going anywhere just yet, Katie. Don't be so fucking selfish! You say you love your sister and yet you're going to abandon her just when she needs your support most. What sort of sisterly love is that?'

Katie stared at Naomi with a look that could have killed her on the spot. She didn't bother to hide her contempt and her loathing for the platinum blonde who was daring to call into question her love for her twin. In her eyes that was the ultimate insult and she had no intention of letting that pass without the most severe retribution.

'How fucking dare you, you revolting dyke! Don't you EVER question how much I care about Emily! What do you know about real feelings, you sad, pathetic lezza. Emily wouldn't touch you with a bargepole; she's not remotely interested in you! You're such a sad, deluded, lonely head case, you know. Now get out of my way.'

All eyes were riveted on the two girls who were standing virtually nose to nose, each refusing to take a backward step in this titanic confrontation, this no holds barred clash of the Amazons from which it was not obvious who was going to emerge as the winner.

'PLEASE don't start, you two!' begged JJ who, as a gentle, quiet soul, hated confrontation of any kind. 'Come and sit down, please. This isn't helping.'

'You've got a fucking nerve calling me sad and pathetic,' sneered Naomi, eyes blazing resentment and contempt, which more than masked her embarrassment at Katie's implication that she fancied Emily. 'You're the pathetic one, throwing yourself all over that useless, brain dead, creep of a boyfriend just because he's a footballer. All you care about is your image and how popular you can make yourself. You don't give a shit about other people really. All you're interested in is yourself.'

Katie had heard enough. She went bright red in the face, which more than matched the blushing cheeks of Naomi after Katie's previous jibes, and threw out a hand to slap Naomi on the side of her face. She missed by the merest of fractions only because Naomi must have anticipated it and skilfully ducked her head to one side to avoid the blow. That failure to land a clean hit only served to infuriate Katie all the more and she threw herself at the blonde, pushing her violently backwards so that Naomi fell down onto the floor of the pub, crashing into an empty table and immediately capturing the attention of the other drinkers who up until that moment had been studiously ignoring the burgeoning tensions that had been building up within the group of 'friends'.

The others, with the notable exception of one person, all got up out of their seats and rushed over to try to separate the two girls who were now screaming at the top of their voices and trading really venomous insults with each other and were literally at each others throats. Freddie and 'Emily' were the first to get to the two seething warriors and between them they managed to pull the girls off each other and forced them apart, getting in between the two and shouting at them to calm down and knock it off.

After a while the two 'boys' finally persuaded the girls to shut the fuck up and stop screaming further abuse at each other. Peace and quiet broke out to general relief as everyone took a moment to get their breath back after such a dramatic scene. It was quite a surprise therefore when the uneasy, strained atmosphere was broken by 'Cook', who alone had remained seated at the table while the fight was in progress, announcing proudly with an unmistakeable note of triumph in 'his' voice, 'I've finished it!'

Again all eyes swivelled round to 'Cook' who they had completely forgotten about temporarily, so utterly distracted had they become by the Katie and Naomi catfight. The guy was beaming from ear to ear as 'he' indicated with one hand the empty plate on which previously an entire double chocolate chip cake had once dared to challenge 'his' resilience, determination and stamina. With the exception of a still fuming Katie, who was being held back from flying at Naomi by a watchful Freddie, the whole gang started cheering, whooping and clapping and they returned to the table to congratulate 'Cook'.

However they had barely reached Emily before her delighted and proud expression began to change and her eyes betrayed a concern and an anguish which could only mean one thing. She put her hands to her mouth and stood up quickly, her eyes looking frantically around her for something. She was beginning to retch and her shoulders were heaving as she fought to control that feeling one has deep down inside when one knows one is going to be violently ill.

She tore across the room, sending a couple of chairs flying in the process, and violently pushed open the door to the ladies toilet and flew inside. Within seconds of her disappearing from view the unambiguous sounds of a person throwing up violently could be heard loud and clear as the rest of the gang looked at each other with anxious, sombre expressions.

'What the fuck has he gone into the ladies for?' said a perplexed Freddie who in the shock of 'Cook's' unexpected exit had loosened his hold on Katie for a few split seconds. It was enough time for the redhead to wriggle free from his grasp and run over to the door of the pub, pausing only to throw one or two final choice words at Naomi before opening the door and similarly disappearing out of sight. 'Emily' made a move to go after her but Effy put a hand on 'her' shoulder and shook her head.

'Don't bother, let her go. We don't need her here any more now. The job's been done, the cake's been eaten.'

'It sounds like most of it's coming back up again,' said a concerned Naomi, simultaneously relieved that Katie had now left them but genuinely concerned about how Emily was. 'I'm going in to see if Cook's alright,' she said and made her way over to the toilet from where the odd disturbing, retching noise could still be heard. The blonde slowly went through the door and closed it behind d her, leaving the others to catch their breath after an eventful and highly emotional afternoon which was finally beginning to come to an end.