Chapter Twenty-Five: Now or Never Part 1

Ruthie awoke the next morning to the sunlight streaming in through her window; she stretched her arms high above her head and back over. She sat up and kicked the blanket off her; she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and ran her fingers through her hair. She had to make her decision today; whether she would tough it out in Glenoak one more day after how well last night went. Or go home today, and leave on a high note.

A part of her didn't want to leave at all, a part of her wanted to run downstairs and have her mother hold her. But she couldn't, how could she ever face her parents again if they ever found out. She knew they would be so disappointed, but they just don't understand. They would never understand how different a person she was, parts of her still felt like the old Ruthie and often those parts were screaming for her to change back but the pull was so much stronger to stay with her new life.

Ruthie looked over at the bed besides her, her half empty suitcase lay sitting on top. She remembered when she was young and she shared this room with Lucy, she'd even shared it with both Mary and Lucy at one point. She couldn't believe that now she could hardly stand to be in the same room with her sisters, but unfortunately that was true with most of her family. Even Simon.

Ruthie could remember a time when she'd worshipped Simon. He was the coolest person to her and what made it even better was that he was her big brother, now she wanted nothing to do with him and it hurt.

Being a different person didn't take the sting of rejecting your family away, it didn't make it any easier to scream and curse at them, it just made it happen.

Ruthie considered going downstairs and getting something to eat when she noticed the time, it was almost three. She had to make up her mind and fast because she had to be at the airport in a little over an hour. She couldn't believe she'd slept for so long. She was used to being awake all night though, so she didn't fall asleep until early in the morning.

Ruthie got up and pulled out a light green top and a pair of low rider jeans. She put them on and walked over to the mirror. She grabbed a clip and pulled up half of her hair leaving some in the back and the shorter strands wrapped around her face. She looked into the mirror; she pulled at her top frowning. Normally she'd have no problem with the fact that you could see the smiley face on her yellow bra or the fact that you could see her matching g-string underwear. But considering where she was, there was a big problem.

She was about to change when she heard a knock on the door. She turned around and gave Matt a small smile before looking back at her reflection.

Matt stepped into Ruthie's room and watched her adjusting her clothes, he couldn't understand how even the plainest of clothes she could turn slutty. Jeans, low rise. Shirt, see through. Underwear, visible. Matt shook his head and cleared his throat.

"I know your hear, I saw you remember." Ruthie said without turning.

"We need to talk." Matt said simply.

"We're talking aren't we?" Ruthie said her tone bordering on rude. She wasn't making this any easier on him. Ruthie stopped and turned around; Matt was looking at her solemnly. She sighed and took a seat on the bed. She looked up at him and bit her lip. "I'm sorry; I haven't exactly been all that nice to you this week. I just…I was angry with you for tricking me into coming…but I guess I'm not all that sorry I came." Matt turned away from her, he couldn't look at her knowing that he was about to shatter their relationship.

"Ruthie…"

"I'm apologizing Matt." Ruthie said leaning to look at him a confused look on her face.

"Ruthie, I know." Matt said turning to look at her. Ruthie looked at him confused and slightly worried.

"What are you talking about?" Ruthie said.

"I know…" Matt took a deep breath and turned looking Ruthie in the eyes. "I know you do drugs." Matt watched as the color in Ruthie's face drained, she stared at him her face white as snow. He could see her freaking out inside, desperately trying to salvage the situation.

"What?" Ruthie gasped finally.

"I know you have a drug problem—"

"I don't!" Ruthie squeaked standing up and glaring at him. "I can't believe you'd accuse me of that!" She yelled.

"Ruthie, you can't deny it."

"It's not true! So get the hell out of here!"

"If it's not true, then what's this?" Matt pulled out the bag of drugs from his pocket. Ruthie froze the anger from her face disappeared. She looked from at Matt and then at the drugs then back at Matt. "I want you tell Mom and Dad, let them help you." Matt said.

"You searched my room…" She said staring down at the floor, tears in her eyes.

"Ruthie, Mom and Dad can help you if you let them. I want you to tell them." Matt said.

"I can't believe you…What was I thinking coming back here…" Ruthie continued whispering to herself.

"Ruthie! You're not listening!"

"Fuck you!" She shrieked. Matt was taken by surprise by her sudden burst of rage.

"I can't fucking believe you! How dare you! My life is my business. I told you! I told all of you to stay out of it! You couldn't just leave it alone!" She sobbed hysterically.

"Ruthie, I'm giving you a chance to be the one to tell them—"

"Screw you! Don't you get it, I'm not telling them—"

"Then I will!" Matt said sternly.

"You're going to no matter what! How do I know you haven't already?" She sobbed. Her chest was burning as she gasped for air.

"Ruthie?" Matt sounded worried. HE watched his sister holding her chest and gasping for air.

"GET OUT! GET OUT OF MY ROOM!" She shrieked. Matt frowned and stared at her tears glistening in his eyes.

"If I leave now, I'm telling them." Matt said his voice dangerously low. Ruthie managed to look up at him her eyes black with hatred. She knew she had to make a decision and quickly, she had to get out of this house and fast…

"Alright…" She whispered pulling herself together. She put her face in her hands and ran her hands back up her face and through her hair. "I'll tell them…Just give me some time to calm down…" She cried. Matt looked at her suspiciously but nodded.

"Alright. Ten minutes." He said and left. Ruthie collapsed onto the floor; she crashed onto her knees and bent over clinging to her hair as it fell over her face. Her shoulders shook with every sob. She gasped for breath as she tried to pull herself together. It wasn't easy, when it felt like her entire life was falling apart in front of her eyes and she was being sucked into a big black hole.

She pulled herself to her feet and began throwing her clothes into her suitcase; everything important was stuffed into her bag. She zipped it up and threw it on the floor. She grabbed her phone and called for a cab to come and pick her up, and quick. They said they'd be there in five minutes.

Rushing around the room she checked one more time to make sure she wasn't leaving anything she wanted (that she could take on the plane.)

Her phone rang. The cab was outside.

Ruthie grabbed one bag and threw it over her shoulder; she grabbed the other and left her room exactly how it was.

Ruthie walked down the stairs to second floor landing she hear voices coming from the kitchen so she took the stairs that lead to the living room. Slowly and quietly she walked down the stars, as she turned the corner she looked out into the living room and froze.

Waiting for her was her entire family; her eyes scanned the somber faces that sat waiting for her. At the head of the group was Matt glaring at her, his eyes mixed with anger and sadness.

Ruthie looked at the door and then back at her family, she wondered if she could make it to the door in time…

Authors Note: Here is part one. The next chapter will be the last, I hope everyone liked this chapter. I think it went well, the original one I wrote all those months ago was much better but it was a fictional piece so I couldn't use it. But please tell me what you think of the chapter.

I will have the final chapter up in a couple days so stay tuned. : )

Katie