Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds, just my OCs and plot.

Loneliness is about the scariest thing out there. - Joss Whedon

Reid was thankful that Prentiss and Morgan did not question where he was going after their discussion in the breakroom. He would not be seeing Hotch about this matter now, or at all if he could avoid it. What could Hotch possibly tell him except that he was fired? No, Reid was going to go fix this problem without the help of his co-workers.

With a quick flash of his FBI badge, the doorman at Emily's apartment building granted Reid entry to the complex. He took the stairs two at a time, avoiding the elevator, all the way to the tenth floor. He stopped in front of the door, unfamiliar to him, but he knew it was right from memorizing every detail of his co-workers' files. Reid took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

He grew nervous as he waited for Jemma to let him in. Remedying this misunderstanding could not cause him to be this anxious, could it? Why were his palms sweating? He was just going to tell Jemma what he actually meant, get her to agree to put the baby up for adoption, then bring her home with him. Simple, right? Jemma would surely understand and see the logic in his argument. If it was so simple, why was he afraid he might have a meltdown?

When the tall, sick-looking redhead opened the door, Reid felt a pain he had never felt before. His stomach, his chest, his throat all hurt and the dams that held back the water in his eye sockets threatened to burst. What was this? Why did he feel like he had been ripped open? Why did he want nothing but to hold Jemma and never let her go?

"I told you to go die." Jemma said flatly, one hand on the doorframe, the other on the doorknob, wedging the door between herself and the fragile-looking agent.

Reid never felt a pain like he did when she said those words. Not even when he was being tortured by Hankel, not when he was shot in the leg. She hadn't even touched him. Of course he knew that words hurt, he had learned that being a child prodigy in the Las Vegas public school system, but he had never been hurt like this. Weren't words supposed to hurt more coming from people who hated you, not the beautiful girl who had been living with you for two months?

"Jemma, I'm sorry." Reid choked.

She looked up at him with her wide, coffee brown eyes filled with tears just waiting to fall. "Do you mean it?" she asked, unable to read his facial expression.

Reid swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat and nodded. "Can we talk?" he asked.

Jemma nodded and opened the door all the way to let him in. Silently, she lead the way to Emily's couch where she sat down. Biting her lip to keep it from quivering, she waited nervously for Reid to speak.

Reid sat down on the couch beside Jemma, but kept a fair distance from her. He turned in toward her a bit and she turned to face him.

"I'm sorry that you misunderstood me yesterday, Jemma." he sighed.

Jemma's teary eyes widened. He was sorry that she misunderstood? What was there to misunderstand? He told her to get an abortion!

"Spencer, you-"

"Jemma, please," he interrupted. "Let me finish. This is why we fought earlier, you don't let me finish!"

Jemma clenched her fists. "Spencer-"

"Jemma!" Reid cut her off again. "Please? I didn't mean what you thought I meant. When I said 'other options', I meant adoption, not abortion. I know you don't believe in that, Jem, I'd never ask you to do that."

Jemma relaxed. OK, so maybe he had went and blamed the whole incident on her, but at least he was apologizing, right? That had to count for something. Plus, Jemma was pretty sure he had never had to apologize for anything before because this looked exceptionally painful for him. Slowly, Jemma reached out for his hand and leaned her head on his shoulder.

Reid let Jemma take his hand and put his free arm around her, rubbing her back gently as she released a couple muffled sobs into his jacket. A feeling of great relief swept over him. He had won Jemma back.

"Wait," Jemma said. "Spencer, why do you even want me to consider other options?"

She pulled away from him and looked at him with those accusing brown eyes of hers.

"I... I think you've suffered enough after what the unsub did to you, Jemma." Reid whimpered, still trying desperately to grasp Jemma as she pulled away.

"What do you mean, 'suffer'?" Jemma asked. "I lost my entire family and now I've got a chance at starting over and you're trying to tell me to just give it up?"

"No, Jemma, you don't get it!" Reid insisted. "You just think you're getting a chance to start over, but you're not. The past is still going to haunt you. In fact, it will probably get worse."

"What do you mean?" Jemma asked.

"I mean that you're only believing what you want to believe." Reid sighed. "You want to believe it's ours so you can have your happy ending, but you're denying the possibility that it could be the unsub's."

"Get out." Jemma said flatly, pointing to the door.

"But, Jemma, I-" Reid protested.

"Get out." Jemma repeated herself, refusing to give in to him.

Reid sighed in frustration and left the apartment, taking one last look at Jemma before walking out the door.

After kicking Spencer out of Emily's apartment, Jemma had to fight against her desire to completely shut down. She carried on like normal throughout the day, going to work, appointments with her doctor and her therapist, studying whenever she could, but when her head hit the pillow at the end of the day, she was free to feel every crazy emotion inside of her.

Each night she lay awake in Emily's guestroom, crying herself to sleep. She had tried and tried to figure out her situation, but her attempts were futile. Jemma missed Spencer terribly. She needed him with every fibre of her being. He had been cruel and insensitive to her though. She was offended that he believed she was ignorant enough to deny the possibility that her baby wasn't his. Of course she had considered the possibility, but something told her that the baby was Spencer's. Jemma didn't know how she knew, she just did.

Jemma knew it would be hard, but she was prepared for the journey ahead of her. Whatever she felt for Spencer was nothing compare to how much she loved her baby. This was her choice, his opinion meant nothing. Jemma was strong and would do whatever it took to take care of her child, with or without Spencer.

Of course, that did not take away the pain Jemma felt and it did not replace the feeling of Spencer's arms around her every night.

Reid sighed as he packed the last of Jemma's possessions in a cardboard box. The young genius spent every waking moment and several terrible nightmares wishing that Jemma would come home. He missed her and worried about her constantly. He asked Prentiss about Jemma daily and always got the same response, "She's fine."

Reid did not wish for Jemma to be sad or angry or upset, but he wished that she would show some sign that she had ever felt something for him. How could she just move on like nothing had ever happened between them?

He should have known this would happen. Of course this would happen to him. He had gotten dumped before he even officially had a girlfriend.

With another sigh, Reid closed the box and piled it by the door with the others. There was now no sign that Jemma had ever been in the apartment, save for the heartbroken genius who inhabited it.

A/N: So that was that. I feel like I can't say another word in this author's note or I'll give away future stuff. My intention is to make you guys all fret over the two inexperienced lovers until I post the net chapter.

So, reviews may help me update sooner. Life's kind of hectic as my igloo begins to thaw out right now though, so this could take awhile. Anyway, thoughts?