Joaquin had heard the intruders chattering even before they'd emerged from their hiding place. He shot a glance at Maria, who looked back at him and simply rolled her eyes; she had heard them as well. Both went back to sipping their drinks and watching their children play with Chuy. They would deal with this interruption when the time came.
Behind a large rock a few yards away, half a dozen scrappy bandits watched the two families with hungry, peering eyes. From their perspective, the fools were too busy picnicking to realize the danger they were now in. Mondragon and his friend had laid aside their weapons. One of the women, the one known as a fighter, she had a baby in her arms. The other woman was busy watching the rest of the youngsters, who were playing with a large chubby pig. The whole scene was idyllic enough to be ridiculous, and Dientes Bala had to summon all his composure to keep from cackling at the sight.
One of his men, a wiry fellow with a metal plate covering a chunk of his skull, was shifting around looking uncomfortable. "I don't know if this is such a good idea, boss…"
"Of course it's a good idea!" the leader of the group snapped at him. "Look at this. We've got them right where we want them. We capture the heroes of San Angel, and we'll get more respect than even Chakal could have dreamed of!"
"Shush! They'll hear you!"
But Dientes Bala was too busy getting drunk on his ambitions while still being drunk from the night before. "Let them hear!" he shouted. "I want them to know my name! Attack!"
And so they all came lumbering out into the open, brandishing rusted weapons and shrieking various battle cries. Joaquin nearly burst out laughing.
Manolo was the only person in the group to be caught unawares by the sudden noise. He sat up and scrambled for his sword, but a raised hand from Maria made him pause. Everyone else greeted the oncoming bandits with placid smiles; even the children didn't show much concern.
Joaquin was the first to stand up. "Buenas tardes, gentlemen," he said, still trying to hide his laughter. "And who might you be?"
"Silence!" the bandit leader shrieked, pointing a knife at his adversary's face. "Know that you are now the prisoners of the great and fearsome Dientes Bala!"
"You call yourself Bullet Teeth? Seriously?"
Dientes Bala bared his teeth, which were indeed crudely inserted bullets of various shapes and sizes. "It strikes fear into the hearts of men!"
"Fear into the hearts of dentists, maybe."
By now the bandit was starting to grow red in the face. "I know who you are, soldier," he growled. "Your name escapes me, but I know you! You have been my sworn enemy ever since I rode with King Chakal!" Dientes Bala had never ridden with Chakal in his life, of course, but it sounded like a grand feat to claim. "And now that he is dead…"
"You're a little late on that, amigo."
"Now that he is dead, I, Dientes Bala, have come to avenge my leader by capturing the protectors of San Angel! And there is nothing you can do about it!"
"O-kay," said Joaquin, glancing around at his friends and family, who looked just as bemused as him. "So let me get this straight. Your plan is to ambush us and haul us off to your lair, right?"
"Yes! Exactly!"
"Well, then. I don't know about the rest of these guys, but I really gotta say…that is adorable."
And with that, Joaquin threw the first punch.
The people of San Angel gasped and cleared out of the streets as a motley group came striding into town. The Sanchez and Mondragon clans did little to acknowledge the strange looks they received as they passed. Behind them, Plata was pulling a wagon filled with six battered, half-conscious bandits. The procession halted in front of the jail, where Manolo and Joaquin rolled out their prisoners one by one, depositing them at the feet of the astonished soldiers.
"Tell General Posada they're all his," Joaquin said. "And watch out for the one with the funny teeth. He likes to kick." He and his companions were on their way without another word.
The picnic was resumed under safer conditions, namely the Mondragons' garden. The children had decided to play a game of soldiers and bandits, of which Vicente had volunteered to be the latter and soon found he had made a terrible mistake.
"Is it just me," Maria said as she watched Joaquin pull Gabriela out of the fray, "or does it seem like we've got plenty of fools trying to fight us these days?"
Her husband shrugged. "Call it a new family tradition."