Chapter Twenty Five:

He gently knocked on the door but she did not respond. He tried the doorknob and was glad that she had not locked it. He found her crumpled on the floor like a ragdoll.

Grissom scooped her in his arms and gently carried her back to the couch. He rocked her back and forth like he did that night. He kissed her tears away and gently rubbed her back.

"I didn't mean to upset you. I really didn't." She could hear the sadness in his voice.

"It wasn't you. I know what I did. I've lived with it all these weeks. I wished I hadn't gone to the clinic."

"Didn't you…" Grissom got up and stood by the fire. He turned and his tears glistened against the fire light.

"We were happy here once. I thought that we could finally be together. I…" He choked on the last part and stopped. "I love you Sara. I always have and I always will. I guess that's what scared me the most is that I would forgive you no matter what you did. I hurt and I wanted you to feel some of the pain but I had no idea how much you were already grieving." He turned to face her.

"I was angry and hurt when I found out about the abortion. It threw me for a curb. I couldn't understand why you would want to get rid of a part of us so I lashed out at you. I don't know why you did what you did."

Sara's mouth fell open. First she was shocked but then she became angry.

"You moron!"

Her anger made Grissom step back. He had no idea what was going through her head.

"You dumb ass. If Jim doesn't kick you in the ass, I'm going to."

"Sara. I just need to understand…."

"I didn't have an abortion! I've never had an abortion."

"But the pamphlet and the appointment card?"

Sara rolled her eyes and got up. She was pacing back and forth. "That, you moron belonged to someone else. Her name is none of your business. She asked me to get that information for her and so I did. I didn't like it but I supported her. She stayed over at my place and must have left the stuff there. If you had enough balls to ask me you would have found out sooner. Instead, you jumped to the wrong conclusions. Do you have any idea how deeply you hurt me? Do you Gilbert Grissom?"

Grissom had crossed the floor and grabbed her into his arms. "Never again." He tried to kiss her but she pushed him away. "Stay away from me."

Grissom stood there helplessly. It had all been a huge mistake. He had just put them through hell and back over a simple mistake. I'm a moron.

"Sara, I'll do anything. I'll get down on my knees and grovel. I'll do anything to make this right."

"Right? You tell me that it was all a mistake, treat me like shit and then want me back after someone might be interested. Right? If I had my gun I'd shoot you! There's a murder gene in my family you know? I can feel it wanting to surface right here, right now!"

Grissom smirked. She was cute when she was mad. She saw the smirk and it made her fume. "I may not have a gun but I'm sure I can find another weapon. Let's see, how many crime scenes have we investigated? I'm sure I can improvise!"

"Don't you see why I was so upset. I thought you had aborted our child. It made me angry that you would do such a thing. Once I had calmed down, I had already pushed you away."

"You put me through hell and for what a mistake! We can't be together if we can't communicate. If you won't open up to me then I'm finished with this. It hurts too much."

He tried to hold her but she backed away.

"I could kill you right now."

"But you won't. I love you Sara."

He reached for her again and took her into his arms. He held her close and when she didn't resist, he kissed her gently. He smiled when she returned the kiss. His chances were improving.