The 'have your cake and eat it' spell has already been invented; it's called the Duplication Charm, and works on a lot more than cakes. Cheating people by selling them copies of valuable artifacts, multiplying food, multiplying mundane equipment and goods, used as a security measure, even copying some of an item's weaker enchantments. The Daily Prophet only costs a Knut - dozens of times less than a bottle of butterbeer - because it's basically copied sheets, with the Protean Charm added on them so they change to mimic the original as news changes over the day; the equivalent of a muggle internet news site, except without the computer.
Disclaimer: did the Yule Ball disrupt Christmas/Yule vacations for all students with said students only being informed a few days in advance? If yes, I do not own Harry Potter; it belongs to JK Rowling and this story is entirely non-profit.
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The week before the Yule Ball was one of the worst in Severus Snape's life. Never before had the little beasts infesting the chambers and corridors of Hogwarts been so dangerously wild and destructively excitable. In the last few lessons of the year, more cauldrons had melted and blown up than in the previous two months combined. Even worse, he had been 'advised' against handing out more detentions by the Headmaster himself, on account of not spoiling the foul little monsters' holiday spirit. If he had to suffer one more sabotage attempt by Minerva's pet terrors (also known as the Weasley Twins) he'd start hexing misbehaving dunderheads left, right, and center. He'd yet to find out exactly how they'd managed to sabotage an entire classroom's worth of cauldrons; he suspected they'd altered their own brew to emit an odourless aerozolised catalyst that when it came in contact with every other potion had turned them into acid. Unfortunately, he couldn't refuse them entry to his class; they'd actually managed an Outstanding Potions OWL and now he'd have to deal with them for another two years. Holiday spirit Merlin's arse.
At the moment however, the chair across his desk was occupied by another major headache, this one far closer to home. Sometimes, Severus hated his job. The rest of the time he hated it even more.
"Miss Campbell, you can't return home for Christmas" he explained, not for the first time. "Due to the Yule Ball there won't be a Hogwarts Express trip scheduled during the holidays."
"Oh? The Headmaster decided to remake the castle into a prison then?" the insolent brat challenged as she lounged rather improperly in the chair he'd conjured for her. At least she hadn't attempted to rest her feet on his desk - she could probably sense the lethal outcome at such a huge and obvious show of disrespect against him. "What crimes are we being charged with? Violation of experimental Charms regulations? Illegal Potions trafficking? Use of the Unforgivables? Necromancy?"
"Don't be absurd." He had to pause for a moment and shore up his Occlumency against the presence of infuriating little monsters too smart for their own good; his usual precautions only functioned against dunderheads. "You aren't prisoners, no matter how much some of you undoubtedly deserve it. It has just been decided that students should spend the holidays in Hogwarts this year due to the presence of foreign dignitaries."
"In other words, the Ministry is showing off for the foreigners, we're part of the attraction, arranging for Floo access would take a few sickles and some minutes of their oh-so-precious time, and nobody could be bothered to mention this earlier so those of us who'd made other arrangements would know to cancel them."
"Get out!" Severus uttered through gritted teeth, controlling himself enough not to strangle the girl with great difficulty.
xxxx xxxx xxxx
Cedric Diggory: Looks 9, Smarts 7, Power 8, Character 8, Contacts 4, Wealth 5
Draco Malfoy: Looks 8, Smarts 4, Power 5, Character 4, Contacts 8, Wealth 9
Zacharias Smith: Looks 7, Smarts 5, Power 4, Character 3, Contacts 3, Wealth 9
Ron Weasley: Looks 5, Smarts 4, Power 5, Character 0, Contacts 6, Wealth 2
Looking at the Patil-Brown Intelligence Review was a fairly amusing way to kill time while waiting for the right moment to execute certain plans. Snape's confirmation of the blanket ban of holidays with family for the year was a minor setback as far as some of Valeria's plans were concerned, but also yet another reason to be angry at the Ministry's heavy-handed interference in Hogwarts. She was rather surprised at how accurate the copy of the 'Review' Tracey had obtained really was; almost as much as she was confused by its bluntness and wide circulation among the female half of the castle's population. Rumours and gossip were supposed to be insubstantial, inaccurate, and useless after all - not an obviously well-researched table of useful information.
For the first time in her life (as far as she'd admit to herself), Valeria wondered how she'd measure up against the other girls in her year. Seeing Daphne prepare and rehearse for the Yule Ball had made it abundantly clear how far behind Valeria was when it came to things like dressing up, make-up, presence, and appearance. It was partially her own fault - lack of exercise, long hours reading and experimenting, and a somewhat unhealthy diet did nobody any favours - but her lack of height and physical maturity didn't help. If pressed, she would admit to considerable envy towards a certain pureblood princess, though not enough to put up with Ronald Weasley's fawning attention after he finally noticed Daphne was actually a girl. Unfortunately for her friend, the intended target of all of Daphne's preparations seemed to be as oblivious as always. Maybe she ought to-
"This is not a Beautification Potion!" an exceptionally good-looking girl with long, flowing, midnight-black hair, large, almond-shaped eyes gleaming like polished obsidian, unblemished porcelain skin, and an athletic but still curvy body said as she stalked through the Slytherin common room and towards the fire-side armchair Valeria was lounging on.
"Oh?" Valeria said as she eyed the newcomer critically. "Isn't your appearance vastly improved then? Because from where I'm standing..."
"Casual deflection and snide remarks won't work on me, Campbell," The girl said with a sneer that marred the near-perfection of her face. "I'm not Bulstrode; I actually know something about potions."
"That's odd. I could have sworn Millicent recognized the differences in the potion before buying it; she even asked me about them." She shrugged in the calm manner she knew would annoy the other girl the most. "But far be it from me to question the prowess of the great Pansy Parkinson."
"Furnunculus!"
A wave of her hand sent Pansy's Pimple Jinx careening towards the fireplace. After over three years of repeated castings she hardly needed a wand for the basic Shield Charm, and letting her ongoing Protego Totalum reflect it back at Pansy's face would have simply been bad form. The barest flick of her wand and a silent Summoning Charm saw a small bottle full of rainbow-hued liquid bubbling multicoloured sparks fly out of the other girl's robes and into her outstretched hand.
"Hey, I paid you five galleons for that!" the Beautified Parkinson whined, but didn't launch another jinx... and neither did Lillian Moon or Emma Vane, two girls Pansy usually hanged out with. Surprising, though not unwelcome.
"Yes, and you are obviously unsatisfied by the outcome." She frowned at the other girl, checking her improved appearance though suspecting that wasn't the problem. "You're actually the first to claim it didn't work."
"You... AARGH!" Throwing her hands up and stomping her foot for good measure, Parkinson had a very obvious - and possibly fake - little meltdown before calming down enough to speak once more. "Beautification Potions are supposed to make the user irresistible, you idiot. I should have had an aura of charisma and grace that made everything I said whatever others wanted to hear. Obviously, your cut-rate brew failed dismally."
"Intentionally so." Valeria admitted, leaving the other girl who expected her to deny it spluttering in search for a comeback. She rose off the quite comfy armchair, waved a hand at the fireplace to snuff out the fire, and turned around to face the disgruntled customer fully. "Mind-affecting potions are against the rules of Hogwarts and the Ministry's laws when used without consent of the victim. I could no more brew and sell full Beautification Potion than I could Veritaserum." Her very lucrative arrangement with Mister Borgin in Knockturn Alley notwithstanding. "So I limited the potion to only its physical effects - something you would have noticed if only you'd paid attention to my selling pitch."
"I should have known five galleons a bottle was too good a price." Pansy growled. In her original appearance her snarl would have looked ugly; now it was merely cute. "You'll pay for the humiliation, one of these days."
"I could brew you a full strength batch, for a price." Valeria suggested. It would only take a few minutes; the only alteration she'd made to the recipe had been to reduce the lock of Unicorn hair to a single strand. Such a reduction to the most potent ingredient and the only one from a magical being with an aura of awe, grace, and beauty had diminished the more supernatural aspects of the potion. It had also reduced its ingredient cost by a factor of a hundred; at over a Galleon a hair even when procured at cost, Unicorn hair was rather expensive. "Just don't come whining back to me if Ronald Weasley or Cormac McLaggen start stalking you though; full Beautification potion is very non-discriminatory and not subtle at all."
"Pass." Pansy wisely said after thinking it over only for a moment. "Can I have my potion back? There are some Beauxbatons bitches poaching Hogwarts boys that need to be knocked down a peg or three."
"Sure!" she agreed with a smirk that made Pansy take a step back. "If you tell me which boy you tried to snare."
"What? No!" she shouted, drawing the attention of several other Slytherins who'd managed to miss the whole drama until then. "Give me my potion - I paid for it!"
"Only if you confess." Valeria's smirk turned downright nasty. "Think of it as you showing some humility and remorse for a change - it will do you some good."
"Accio Potion!"
"Nope!" Valeria taunted as the bottle of multicoloured liquid did not move at all. "My determination to hold on to this and listen to your confession far exceeds your desire to have it; summoning magic is not going to work."
"You're such a bitch, Campbell." Valeria shrugged and said nothing; Pansy had that right. "Fine! It was Diggory, all right? Now give me the damn potion!"
"Here." The potion flew back to its previous holder as Valeria willed her Summoning Charm to reverse itself. At least, that's how she saw it conceptually; it actually was a different act of magic since most summoning spells did not last after bringing the intended object to the caster. She'd have to ask Professor Flitwick for an in-depth explanation, but for now it working far more easily than banishing was good enough. "Pleasure doing business with you, Parkinson."
The no longer pug-faced girl huffed in annoyance and stalked away. Counting the latest batch of brewing, Valeria had sold two hundred and seven bottles of Beautification Potions of varying strength to girls from all Houses, a hundred and sixty-two doses of Ageing Potion to both boys and girls that wanted to show how mature they were, and forty-one mixtures of Thickening Solution and Swelling Solution in cream form, mostly to girls desperate to be more... well-endowed for a few hours. All in all, not a bad week for business.
Now that her financial assets were sufficiently improved to fuel Phase Two of her plan, she had some other tasks to accomplish for the big day...
xxxx xxxx xxxx
Walking through Gryffindor and Ravenclaw country always made Slytherins feel decidedly unwelcome. Contrary to popular opinion, the House of Serpents had a much better relationship with the Badgers than with the Ravens, primarily due to both Houses being based in the dungeons and Hufflepuffs being a rather friendly bunch, no matter who you were; most Ravenclaws deserved their reputation of isolationist bookworms. Naturally, the less said about the Snakes' relationship with the Lions the better; a problem Valeria was beginning to suspect could be blamed fully on the past actions of a certain Grand Sorcerer and Dark Lord.
As an openly muggleborn friend of the Boy-Who-Lived, Valeria enjoyed a somewhat less hostile response by the Lions, though she always had to watch out for the Twin Terrors. Whatever else they may be, Fred and George Weasley were brilliant wizards and prolific inventors. Their latest discovery, a potion that could briefly turn one into various animal shapes without the difficulty of Human Transfiguration or the drawbacks of other existing potions, deserved a place among other modern advancements in the field. That it was only one product of many, and with them just having passed their OWLs, just showed how great they might become in the future... if they didn't blow themselves up in some poorly planned experiment.
Making her third round through the seventh-floor corridor and with her quarry nowhere in sight, she grumbled in frustration. This would have been far faster if Harry had not dispelled the copying charms on the original Marauder's Map that transferred all it showed to various copies, or if she'd dared to use her Disillusioned bat inferi as scouts with Moody's wall-penetrating, illusion-negating magical eye scanning the castle. Stupid one hundred and forty-seven staircases linking two hundred and sixteen main corridors and who knew how many secret passages. Stupid Escheresque castle of holding being bigger on the inside than the outside. She was still cursing Rowena Ravenclaw's needlessly complicated architecture when she bumped into a Gryffindor boy almost as slim as herself... but without the Feather-weight Charm that made climbing all those aforementioned staircases manageable. Naturally, she bounced off the temporarily much greater and magically shielded mass and slid at least twenty feet back. That her ever-present magical shield hadn't stopped his approach meant he could be only one of two people in the castle.
"Hi Harry," she said between groans as she laboriously climbed to an upright position. Perhaps she should re-evaluate her risk assessment; Harry's shield had not found her harmless at all, which said interesting things about the Gryffindor boy's subconscious. "Fancy meeting you here. I've only been looking for you for... lemme check... yep, two and a half hours."
"Sorry! Sorry! I didn't mean to bounce you... I'm still getting the hang of this always-on Shield Charm thing." He helped her up like a gentleman, though she noted he used his hands rather than his wand. Of all her friends, Harry was the least comfortable with magic, though it had to be a subconscious aversion. He certainly was enthusiastic enough whenever they tried a new scheme. "I've been looking for you too, you know." Suddenly his jaw seemed to lock up, his frowning face, mild blush, and downcast eyes obvious signs of embarrassment. Alarm bells went off in Valeria's mind and she readied her wand. "Say Val... would you... do me a favour? Would you -"
A sharp jab of her wand and a harsh utterance of "Calco!" had the most powerful holding charm she knew slamming against Harry's shield. Her greater experience and the advantage of surprise won over Harry's talent in defensive magic and potential slight edge in willpower; his shield cracked like glass and he was pressed against the wall as if by the hand of a giant. He was, of course, incapable of speaking another word.
"Hold it right there, Potter!" she growled threateningly. "If you were about to ask me to the ball, I'll disarm you, shove the magnitude of your error through your thick skull with Deprimo - that's the major Tunnelling Charm that can drill through hills and bring down major buildings by the way - then stun you and hand you over to Daphne." The Gryffindor idiot's eyes widened and he tried to shake his head but the Crushing Hand Charm didn't let him. She glared at him some more for good measure then flicked her wrist, the invisible, hand-shaped force following her movements exactly and depositing the boy in the center of the corridor. If his landing happened to be a bit less than perfectly gentle... well, he'd suffered much worse in Quidditch... and he totally deserved it.
"I actually wanted... to ask you... about Daphne." Potter said as he gulped great lungfuls of air and tried to find his balance. She took pity on him and fired a Stability Charm followed by the Wideawake Spell; the combination restored him to his previous condition... mostly. "Thanks. I... didn't want to ask you to the Ball. Not that there's something wrong with you or anything... I'm sure you're a perfectly nice girl and everything... oh gods, I'm totally messing this up, aren't I?"
"Stop babbling and spit it out, Harry." She commanded, barely holding back a laugh as he blushed again. So much for Gryffindor bravery.
"Could... couldyoutellmehowtobestaskDaphnetotheball?" He blushed a glorious crimson and she did laugh.
"Let me get this straight." She asked with a wide smile. "You're asking a girl who you don't know whether she is interested in you advice on how to best ask another, better-looking girl to the Yule Ball?"
"Err... I guess?"
"You're totally hopeless." Valeria giggled then, for the first time in several months. "For future reference, never tell or admit to a girl that another girl is better-looking, directly or indirectly. It's a good way to get cursed."
"Err... didn't you already curse me though?"
"Funny boy." Valeria idly flicked her wand; Harry nervously looked for the closest escape route. At least he could be taught. "Now, as for your 'little problem'... just freaking ask her, Harry! Do you know how many offers Daphne turned down since the Ball was announced? Waiting for you to ask had her so frustrated she used the last sixth-year who asked for target practice."
"She has?" He asked, his expression somehow conveying both incredulity and hope. "This isn't one of your bad jokes, is it?"
"If you're not running towards the dungeons by the count of three I'm hexing you again," she shot back drily. "One... two..." Harry Potter, slayer of Basilisks and vanquisher of Dark Lords, bolted. "The password is 'Ashwinder'!" she shouted after him just as he disappeared down the nearest staircase. Giving the password to the Slytherin Common Room to outsiders was generally not allowed, but as it would change later that day she didn't see it as much of an issue.
She wondered whether he'd realise that any Gryffindor (but especially the Boy-Who-Lived) asking a pureblood heiress out in the middle of the Slytherin Common Room would cause quite a response before or after he actually did it.
xxxx xxxx xxxx
She finally found her second quarry in the library, amid a mixed Ravenclaw-Hufflepuff study group of upperclassmen. Of course! His kind were hard-working and dependable; he'd never leave any assignment till later, especially one so important.
"Cedric, can I have a word?" she asked in a controlled tone so as not to wake up the Hogwarts library's dread guardian.
"Oh look, a snake!" a tall, athletic Ravenclaw girl with long, straight black hair, large almond-shaped eyes, porcelain skin with the barest hint of yellow, and curvy figure remarked snidely. Why did every other girl in or near her year had to have a better figure? At least this one had thin, white, slowly-healing scars on her forehead outlining still-readable letters if one looked hard enough. They wrote one word only, and it was BULLY. "What do you want here? Need someone to do your homework for you?"
"I fail to see how's that your business, miss Chang," she said calmly and politely; the library was not a good place to cut loose and blow large holes into the structure of the castle... Come to think of it, she'd yet to find a place that was, no matter how deserving some targets might be. "Or that of any bully..." she finished and turned all of her attention to the older Hufflepuff Prefect, ignoring the Chinese girl's angry retorts. Cedric's face darkened, his now sharp stare focused on her, grey eyes cold as flint. What? She thought she had at least a friendly relationship with him if their previous encounters were any indication. What was different now?
Despite his obvious reluctance, the too-handsome Hufflepuff boy followed her in a less crowded side corridor of the library and shot her an annoyed frown. Valeria quickly re-evaluated her previous plan even as she scrambled for the explanation that was eluding her. Why the sudden hostility?
"What do you want miss Campbell?" Cedric said politely, despite his apparent (and inexplicable) animosity. "My patience for Slytherins is less than it used to be."
"But why?" she blurted out, unable to make any sense of his sudden personality shift. "I mean, I can't say we are good friends but we aren't enemies either."
"That was before a Slytherin ambushed and mutilated one of my friends." Cedric replied, though his coldness had faded away. "I know, not your fault. Shouldn't have taken it out on you..."
"Are you talking about Cho Chang?" Valeria asked more sharply than she intended, and Cedric's eyebrows all but disappeared under that cute little brown fringe that partially covered his forehead.
"Yes... I am." The older boy stared firmly at her for several moments, measuring her with his gaze. "You know what happened." he said. It wasn't a question.
"I do." The Slytherin witch paused, trying to frame her reply correctly so as to not mess things up more than she already had. "Do you know of a student named Luna Lovegood?"
"Third year, blonde, sweet but distant, a bit weird, her home is close to the Weasleys?" Cedric asked, nodding along. "Of course; we grew up in the same village. What does she have to do with this?"
"She has been bullied, repeatedly, over the past three years." She directed a meaningful stare in the direction of the Ravenclaw girls trying to listen in on their conversation. Fat chance; she'd cast silencing charms in this corridor before even approaching Cedric. "It was turning quite nasty... and then someone did something about it."
"Preposterous!" Cedric immediately denied. "There have been no complains about bullying from any Ravenclaw. I should know; I'm the Prefect Prefects from all Houses are friendly with."
"No complains doesn't mean no bullying." Valeria said stubbornly. If the truth would ruin her plan now... well, so be it. "That's especially true if a Prefect is the bully. Say, like miss Edgecombe."
"Even if true, that doesn't give anyone permission to mutilate other students." Cedric insisted, then sighed, rubbed his eyes and brow to stave off a headache and glanced at Chang and Edgecombe out of the corner of his eyes. "Is there... any proof that this bullying happened? That any girl... other than miss Edgecombe... was responsible? Or is the whole thing just a Slytherin rumour?"
"I personally saw Marietta Edgecombe, Cho Chang, and Lisa Turpin hurt Luna Lovegood through repeated application of Stinging Hexes." Valeria hissed back almost angrily. Why was Cedric so reluctant to believe her? He was a Hufflepuff; he had no reasons to trust any Ravenclaw over her. "I will swear it under Veritaserum or binding contract, though I doubt it will come to that. Luna does not intend to tell anyone about the bullying, even though it has been going on for years and included stealing of her personal effects and school supplies; she admitted as much to her rescuer."
"Her... rescuer." Cedric mused, then fixed her with another penetrating grey stare. "You know who that was, don't you?"
"Yes, and I'm not telling." She emphatically retorted. "For one thing, I saw the whole encounter under concealment charms so nobody knew I was there. For another... whoever taught those bitches that attacking a defenceless girl that had done nothing to them carries a price should be given a medal, not a punishment... no matter what the school rules say." Or how self-serving that proclamation might be. Then again, she didn't intend to reveal herself to claim that medal either.
"I see..." The tall, burly, too-handsome Hufflepuff Champion nodded and turned back towards the study group. "Could you wait for a moment? I need to get my bag and books."
"Sure." Valeria only took a few steps to get out of the dark side-corridor to wait for Cedric. She didn't do it to get out of her previously cast silence bubble. She certainly didn't do it to better spy on what happened between Cedric and those bitches.
...but Cedric, why do you have to leave? We still need to finish that assignment...
The whiny bitch was Edgecombe. If becoming a Prefect meant being a little sycophant like her, Valeria wasn't sure she wanted to be one.
...what did Campbell want? Snakes always have an ulterior motive...
And that was Chang. At least she was smart enough for Ravenclaw... And a good student in both academics and Quidditch... And very good-looking... Better not think about it; there were still rare books in the vicinity. Fortunately, Cedric came back then, his bag swung over one shoulder easily enough despite the number of large tomes it was filled with. It didn't look like he was using a Featherlight Charm either. And Edgecombe and company were staring daggers at her; that was probably a good thing.
"Sorry to keep you waiting." Cedric said with a smile, making his entire face light up and Valeria's cheeks redden in embarrassment. That kind of good looks ought to be prohibited in boys. Well, at least in any boys she had to interact with; only girls were allowed to have such an effect on the opposite gender. "Say, what did you want to talk to me about?"
Valeria's blush deepened, and for a split second she understood Harry's issues with Daphne. Only for that split second though; she then gathered all her Slytherin determination and willingness to get what she wanted at any means necessary, trampled several centuries of tradition and forged ahead;
"Cedric... would you go with me to the Yule Ball?"