Hollie's (outlawqueenbey) adorable, heartbreaking doodle got me out me out of my writing funk. If you haven't seen them, you're missing out on life.
Sorry for the pain.
A Reason to Stay
She makes it through every day with her head held high, spine straight and determined, calm and concise and diligent. At night she comes apart. Layer by layer of defenses peel away as she retreats to her room, removes heals and tailored suits, painstakingly chosen jewelry, and layers of makeup that hide the evidence of her sleepless nights from the world. He watches her every time, watches as the guises of the day come off and she settles back into her new self, back into her grief.
He'd hoped she'd have found peace by now, it has been months since he was ripped away. Hoped, yet somehow knew she would not. He knows that's why he's still here, why he lingers watching over her day after day, night after night, waiting for the moment he feels her safe enough to leave alone, hating himself for wishing she'll never give him a reason to leave.
He watches as she climbs into their bed, pulling cool blankets around her in an attempt to soothe what his arms no longer can. He listens to her breathe; the only sound in the room; the only life in her too empty home. Her breaths go deeper, begin to shutter, and he knows that strangled sobs will soon follow.
"Oh, M'lady," his fingers run unfettered through her hair as he talks to her. He always talks to her, hoping somehow she will hear. "I vowed to never be the cause of your tears. But instead, to spend my days erasing the need for them." He traces her cheekbone, her jaw, brushes his thumb over lips pursed together to contain the sound of her need for him. "I'll eternally know the sensation of your skin, warm against mine; the taste of your lips as you allowed me to kiss away those treacherous tears: warm salt, yet sweet, and wholly you. Always you. I wish I knew how to take this away." His hands continue to ghost against her skin as his body longs to hold her close.
"Robin?" she asks the darkness, voice unrecognizable even to her own ears. She's tired, so tired, but if she holds on she'll feel him. In the seconds before her body gives in, she always feels him wrapped around her, breathing against her. It's a trick of the mind, she knows, but she lives for it.
"I'm here, my love. And I'll be here with you as long as you'll have me." His lips brush her temple, linger there as wet lashes flutter against his cheek.
"I miss you," she breathes as sleep begins to claim her. She reaches out for the arm she can't see, but senses all the same. Her "stay" is barely audible, but he no longer needs words to hear her. He's in her mind, in her heart, and there he'll stay.