sidsgirl87 awww Sid got a new dog #bitch
pensfan8771 ain't saying she a golddigger #yesiam
ashleymeitz the sound of every woman in Pittsburgh's heart breaking #sidsgf
I'm a fool and I click on the last hashtag. I'm trending in Pittsburgh, and for a moment I'm proud of myself for the success of the plan, and then I see the comments. Some range from disbelief that Sid isn't gay to congratulating him on finding a piece of ass. Ugh. Most comments are less than kind. Mostly, they're plain awful. Obviously I wasn't expecting it to be a flood of we're-so-happy-for-you messages. I knew there would be some personal attacks. I knew there would be name calling. I thought I had prepared myself. I was wrong.
bridgetrancine #sidgf has the fugliest face I've ever seen. Don't say I'm jealous cuz I'm not. Yuck!
The last one stings more than any I've come across. I click on the profile, and it's all pictures of Sidney. Bingo. This is exactly the profile I'm looking for, an obsessed fan who hates my guts. The first picture is a re-post, and it surprises me to see that it's the photo of Sidney and the boys at the pool from this afternoon. My husband looks so good with his shirt off. Her caption infuriates me, and a quick scan of comments tells me I'm not the only one. I'm about to flag the profile as a possibility when I come across a photo of a teenaged girl posing with a cutout of Sid. My dad scored me my very own Sid! Okay, not who I'm looking for.
My phone buzzes, startling me out of my fixation. Go to bed sweetheart. He must suspect that I'm awake and driving myself crazy. It's still so weird to me that we can't sleep in the same room. Although he does have a game tomorrow, and I probably wouldn't be able to keep my hands off him, and if we were sharing a room then I wouldn't be able to keep digging through Instagram profiles.
I turn my attention back to my computer and pour through the next couple dozen profiles. I had no idea Sid was so popular in Russia, but the woman I'm looking for is definitely stateside.
So many young girls, infatuated with my boyfriend. It's like I'm dating a teen idol. It's not hard to understand though. He's in the spotlight, a millionaire, drop dead gorgeous, fantastic body, so kind and generous...and sleeping just seconds away from me. A wave of giddiness washes over me, and I remember just how lucky I am to have him in my life. Not because all these girls wish he was theirs, they don't really know anything about him, or what they do know is so superficial. If Sid were just a regular guy, working a regular job, maybe a bit pudgy, which is hard to imagine, I'd still be head over heels for him. The way I feel when I'm around him is how I want to feel for the rest of my life.
You're insane! Did you really post a picture of you and Sidney?! Jenn wouldn't be shy about texting in the middle of the night.
All part of my plan Jenn. I fire back.
You look so cute I could barf by the way. Are you sure you know what you're doing? These bitches are mean girls. She's right. The internet is a breeding ground for mean girls, but I've invited it into my life, and hopefully the payoff is worth it. After tonight, after spending the evening together, hand in hand, like a real couple, I want more. I've seen what being with Sid, really being with Sid, is like and I'm not giving it up.
Want to help me find my stalker?
It's comforting to know Jenn is at home, searching through posts and profiles too. There's a lot to look through, but it's late and the activity has slowed to a crawl, so this really is the best time to do this, despite what Sidney thinks. It's easy to spot a legitimate profile, personal pictures, interests outside of Sidney Crosby, but sometimes it's not so easy. A lot of profiles are private, but I have a hunch Rachel wouldn't do that. If she has an account dedicated to Sid, she's not going to make it a private shrine. Every re-post is like a wormhole into another hundred comments that I have to investigate. Jenn and I text back and forth, originally we were able to trace how we'd gotten to where we were online, but it's a tangled web of madness.
Check this one out. Jenn instant messages me a link to a profile called mrscrozby. It's all pictures of Sidney, some have become way too familiar after a night of sleuthing. The tags and captions are possessive, but also pretty lighthearted, kind of like she's poking fun at herself for being so into him. I scroll through all the pictures, looking for anything that is unfamiliar and foreign, but there's nothing. She's got the picture of Sid and I up, and the caption reads "Get off my man!"
I don't think she's the one Jenn. Not that I'm going off gut feelings or anything, but there just wasn't anything overly aggressive about her, and Rachel is definitely aggressive.
Hang on, I found a totally crazy one. I click the link from Jenn and she's right. It's like a fan account on steroids. There's over a thousand posts, but hardly any followers and she only follows official player profiles. That's interesting, especially considering her feed is all Sidney. She doesn't even have other Penguins in the mix, it's completely devoted to Sid.
I click on the first photo, my photo and my breath hitches when I read her comment.
pittchick87 #sidgf Psycho! Sid ain't gonna like her posting this pic when they split up weeks ago. I just talked to him and he's maaaaaaad! Stupid bitch.
Okay, this is something. I look through the profile, and it's void of anything personal. She definitely invites conflict, claiming to know Sidney personally, trying to convince people they're in constant communication. She's even tagged his teammates and uses overly-familiar pet names for them. I have to laugh when I see she's suggested she and Sid had a night out with a certain winger I know he can't stand off the ice.
Jenn, you're amazing. This is a great lead!
I haven't thought this through. Now that I have my first suspect, what do I do? Lure her out of the shadows, but to where? And how? I'll have to engage her somehow, force her to make a mistake. It's late, I'm exhausted, but invigorated at the thought of finding Rachel. This isn't something I can dream up alone, I'm way out of my element. I quickly dial Jenn, my hands shaking from adrenaline.
"Hey," she whispers. "What do you think?"
"I think it's the most likely account I've seen," my voice is dripping with nerves. "Why are you whispering?"
"Jason's asleep," she says like it's no big deal.
"Jason?" I'm momentarily distracted by this news. "What is he doing in town?"
"He came to see me," she sounds almost guilty, but it's not the right time to focus on their...relationship? "Are you okay?"
"I think so," I tell her, realizing too late that she's asking about her and my brother. "About you and Jason?"
"Yes," she hisses, reminding me that I'm not the only person alive with drama. Not that a new boyfriend is drama. Well, I've heard that's not the norm anyway.
"I'm great, you two are good together," truthfully, I haven't given it much thought, but it's not the right time to dive into whether or not I'm comfortable with my worlds colliding. "So...what should I do here?"
"You need to comment on her comment," Jenn replies so confidently it makes me feel stupid for not coming up with it myself. "Tell her you're with Sid right now," she suggests.
"Really?"
"Lou!" her voice is firm, even in hushed tones.
I slowly type my reply to her comment.
chefloulou Funny, I just talked to Sid and he's never heard of you.
My heart is pounding through my chest as I wait for her reaction. "She might not see this until morning," I tell Jenn, but it's really just my way of telling myself to be patient.
"It's okay, let's keep looking." Jenn's right, this is only one potential account, I shouldn't put too much weight on one account. We keep searching, and it's more of the same. Some women who just aren't ashamed to hold a flame for Sid, but seem to have their lives together. Private accounts. A few accounts that could be something, but turn out to be less devoted to Sid and more about the flavor of the month according to the NHL scoreboard.
She replied! Jenn's text makes my heart stop. I click back to the other tab and hit refresh.
pittchick87 U R CRAZY WE LIVE 2GETHER
chefloulou Prove it.
I hit send before I can even consider what I'm doing. She doesn't have many followers, so it's not like we're having a high profile conversation, but I'll look ridiculous for calling out a fan if it's not Rachel. Petty, childish, immature...but he'll know why. That's comforting in a way. I refresh the page and she's posted a new picture, but it's not of Sid. I take a closer look...
Sid's bedroom. As far as I know, there's only one super-fan who would have a photo like this. My phone rings, and I let out a little yelp, ever muscle in my body tensed and putting me on edge.
"That's Sid's bedroom," I don't even bother to say hello.
"It must be her," Jenn agrees.
"Now what?" Again, I'm completely clueless about what the next step would be. Jenn and I aren't exactly computer savvy, so it's not like knowing her IP address would help us out.
"Just leave it alone for now, I've screen shot everything, and call the police," Jenn is so calm, and I'm so lucky to have a friend in her.
"You're the greatest, do you know that?" I'm in tears, a mix of relief and terror coursing through my veins. I've found Rachel, but I've shown myself to her too.
The detective isn't at his desk, surprise surprise, so I leave a detailed message and email him all the screenshots Jenn sent me. I include log in information to my Instagram account, just in case it could be a useful tool, and that's it. I've done everything I can do in one night. I've been awake for 24 hours straight, but I'm not tired at all, just the opposite, completely wired.
We found her! I fire off a text to Sid before actually considering the time. It's after 4am, he'll be fast asleep.
What? He replies a few seconds later.
Sorry, go back to sleep. I'll tell you all about it tomorrow. I wait a few seconds and he doesn't answer, so I guess he's taken my advice. I should try to sleep too, even just lay down and close my eyes, but I'm completely dressed and haven't even brushed my teeth or washed my face. The routine of getting ready for bed helps, and I feel my eyes get heavy, but my mind is still racing.
I practically leap out of my skin when I hear a knock at the door. A glance through the peephole shows a very sleepy Sidney leaning against the door frame.
"You didn't have to come down here," my apology is out of my mouth before he's even through the door. He pulls me by the waist toward the bed, and lays down without a word. I motion to the bathroom and he just nods. He's partially out of it, and it's pretty adorable, but I feel so guilty for waking him up. After a few minutes, just enough time to finish getting ready for bed, I emerge and find Sidney sitting up with my computer in his lap.
"Pittchick87?" he asks gently.
"I think so," my reply isn't too convincing, but the evidence speaks for itself.
"That's my house," he sounds confused. "That's my bedroom," and now angry.
"I'm sorry," I move to sit beside him and rest my hand on his shoulder. I watch his face twist as he examines the account, the comments, the captions, the private photos she's made public. He shoves the laptop aside and turns to face me, his eyes wild and his lips pressed tightly together.
"Lou..." he's at a loss for words, and it occurs to me that he might be angry at me for drawing this out of her.
"I..."
"We should have taken it more seriously from the start..." he's apologizing to me! "This never should have happened."
"It's almost over babe," I remind him and he softens slightly. "It's late, or early I guess, and you have a game. I shouldn't have texted you. You need to sleep." He pulls down the covers and stretches out underneath the sheets. "You're staying?"
"Yeah," is all he can manage. Exhaustion and anger consume him, and if he can fall asleep then I'm not going to interrupt him. "Put the computer away," he says gently, and I close the laptop. He pulls back the covers on my side of the bed and I climb in beside him. His arms are around me before I have a chance to get comfortable, but there's something very comforting about his embrace. Just like that, tangled together, sleep finds us both.