Thursday Dec 24

Why you talking all that talk
Who you trying to Impress
Think you better check your style
That might have worked before

the flight was almost there It was midnight I'm tired I rest he covers me up and lets me sleep In his lap this Is the Angel I have been looking for this whole month and he's here with me and I get my last goodbye. I rest no sleep I sleep my heart rate will drop and I probably won't wake up when we landed he gave me another portion of the first syringe and I was alert we took a car to the penthouse he cared me up and laid me on my couch I smiled he got me my lap top as I moved to my desk to finish off my last little bit of work and Emailed them to my lawyer to give to my people when I'm gone. Angels on the balcony I see him lost In thought I smile my Angel the broody type

but I ain't having It
Show me that you got the touch
Hear the words that I don't say
Got to read between the lines
You gotta learn this song

I come out and meet him he said "so what did you wanna do here today"

Buffy said "I want you to remind me of the day I missed" Angel looked at her shocked she smiled "the other Angel tattled on you to get me to trust him"

Angel said "oh boy, Buffy you do realize you were a lot less fragile then"

Buffy said "I'm not glass I think you can figure out something, show me"

Angel said "I'll take you to breakfast and you can tell everything"

Cause I wanna be played
like a sweet guitar
Played like a slow jam In the dark

we went to my favorite breakfast shop after I mailed off some Important papers he said "tell me"

Buffy said "I hadn't been feeling well for along time but when Willow called me Into that battle that was the straw that broke the camels back I woke up In the hospital and the doctor tells me that I'm dieing In a month they actually though I was going to die In a week but they told me I certainly am not going to make It till tomorrow and by the way I fell I believe It"

he said "what Is your condition"

Gotta find the groove
You know what to do to get to me
I wanna be played like a violin
Make the strings talk

she said "there Is a blood clot In the back of my brain and Its breaking down and traveling Into my heart clogging all the ventricles thingies and over the years of me pushing my heart In those battles I have murmur which makes my heart weak because It's a hole In It, they can't do anything because there Is so much damage"

he said "there was nothing that could have been done"

Buffy said "they gave me pain killers and blood thinners just to pass my time, I stop talking them almost a week ago"

he said "you fell okay"

Buffy said "I could use another shot" when they got outside he gave her another shot and she woke up she said "thank you... lets go to the apartment"

with your finger tips
Never go to fast
Gotta understand
The way I need too be played
***
when we got there he made us hot chocolate and we sat on my balcony I was In his lap I said to him "Angel"

It's not about the way you roll
Your making It too obvious
Try to be original
You gotta learn me

he looked at her "yes"

Buffy said "I need you to promise me something"

he said "what"

she said "I want you to live you just got your life back don't live It morning me for the rest of It If were meant to be we'll meet again"

he nodded "I know I just"

she smiled "thought when you became human we would finally have our chance life can be cruel huh"

he laughed "god yes"

she laughed nuzzling his neck she raised her head looking him In his eyes "Buffy"

Don't be In such a rush
I can be your symphony
Listen to me all night long
If you give me what I need
I could be your favorite song

she said "shut up and kiss me" he kissed her ever so tenderly.

I wanna be played like a sweet guitar
Played like a slow jam In the dark
Never go to fast

he took her too the bed room and gave her half of the last shot she was going need It for what he was going do he took his time on her being ever so tender giving very part of her body the attention she deserved kissing and touching her ever so tender running his Hans up and down her body

Gotta find the groove
You know what to do to get to me
I wanna be played like a violin
Make the strings talk
with your finger tips

and after wards he ran her a bath and tended to her body and then he gave her a massage

Gotta understand
The way I need too be played

and they spent some time In her Jacuzzi just kissing she pulled back

she said "thank you"

he said "for what"

she said "today, you gave me everything I wanted"

he smiled "I believe you deserve It every bit of It, If I had more time with you I would do this for you every chance I got"

she smiled "god you don't know how much I'm going to miss you"

he said "hey no tear you start crying I'll start crying and I don't wanna cry we shouldn't be crying"

she said "your right It's almost dark I wanna go to dinner and take a walk on the promenade and see the light one last time"

he said "come on" he cared her up stairs and helped her get ready.

You make It just like that
Come on do It again
We're going to get this right
Even If It takes all night

Dinner was great Angel took me to a Stallion restaurant I never knew about It was elegant we had a great time we danced and we took a gondola ride to the area I loved the lights were beautiful

Do you feel me?
That's right
Take It nice and slow

Willow calls Giles "Buffy's took an Importee trip to Italy with Angel she's been acting funny... I'm going to follow her and get some answers"

Giles said "In what respect"

Willow said "you haven't noticed the planning she's taking care of something she planning something"

Giles said "give them there Space Willow"

Willow said "you know don't you" Giles didn't answer she accused "you know don't you, you know just whets wrong with her"

Giles answered "she made me promise" Willow hung up Giles grabbed his things he had to find her

I wanna be played like a sweet guitar
Played like a slow jam In the dark

Buffy said "I love It here It's so"

Angel said "beautiful"

Gotta find the groove
You know what to do to get to me
I wanna be played like a violin
Make the strings talk

Buffy said "thank you for today"

Angel said "you already thanked me"

with your finger tips
Never go to fast
Gotta understand
The way I need too be played

she said "I guess I'm just getting to the point that I'm running out of things to say" he walked them over to a bench and they sat down

he said "how are you feeling"

she answered "my heads starting to hurt my chest hurts a little I'm starting to get tired but I'm not ready for the evening to end"

he said "you should go back to the hospital"

Buffy said "Angel no, no I'm not going to spend my last hours In a hospital bed hooked up to a bunch of machines, no"

Angel said "Buffy"

Played like a sweet guitar
Played like a slow jam In the dark

she said "I need you to talk care of my arrangements medically once I'm unconscious, If my heart does stop don't let them resuscitate me, I want my organs donated, If you need help Giles will help you"

Angel nodded she said "agreed"

he said "yes"

she sat with Angel on the docks of Italy leaning on him and playing with his sleeve. "You remember the Christmas The First messed with you"

Gotta find the groove
You know what to do to get to me
I wanna be played

he said "yeah"

she said "I never told you about what happened when my mother was putting up the tree did I"

he looked at her "no" she explained
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~* Flashback *~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(trimming the Christmas tree)

JOYCE: So, Angel's on top again?

BUFFY: (startled) what?

JOYCE: (holds up an Angel and a star) Angel or star?

BUFFY: Oh, uh... star. Star.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ *End Flashback *~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
he said "oh boy that was wrong"

Buffy said "and after that hot and heavy dream we shared you know my mind was In the gutter

Angel smiled say "love you, Buffy" with a simple gesture of touching her face, tears were In his eyes

Buffy said hugging him "oh god Angel, I love you too."

Like a violin
Make the string talk with
your finger tips...

Willow said "am I Interrupting"

Willow said "so were you going to tell me"

Buffy searched her face and said "tell you what exactly"

she said "don't play dumb, your dieing, what were you planning beat around the bush a awhile and drop dead and hope we didn't notice"

Buffy crossed her arms "thought It would be easer that way"

Willow said "so we were what just supposed to except that, have a good time being dead and don't look In on from up there"

Buffy said "why are you attacking me, I just did what I thought was right"

she said "Wow your right looks so much like giving up and being a coward"

Buffy argued "I was trying to make things easier"

Willow replied "for who"

Buffy said "you guys have been doing just fine without me admit It Angel wasn't Involved you wouldn't have even called me"

Willow said "we were managing with out you, you wanted your life you deserved It and you not being here with us Is a lot different from you being dead.

Buffy said "sorry but you have no Idea what I've been going through for the last month making preparations for this"

Willow argued '''I would have liked to... we all would have liked to"

Buffy rubbed her chest "you would have never understood"

Willow responded "Well, maybe I don't need to understand. Maybe I... I just need you to talk to me."

Buffy got up walking towards her "how can I talk to you when all I keep seeing Is you acting like this and crying about It how do you think that makes me feel you think that the last memory of you Is yelling at me and crying and looking depressed I wanted my last memories to be of you smiling and laughing and taking about Christmas not how much longer I have"

Willow said "This Isn't easy, Buffy! I know you're going through stuff..."

Buffy glared "Dieing Willow that's not just stuff that some pretty big stuff, I know that you were worried about me, but..."

Willow said "It's not even about you anymore, this you dieing doesn't just affect you It effects us all you know, It about the fact that the only real person that gets to say goodbye to you was Angel and I guess Giles sense you told him"

Buffy said "there both handling my medical and Financial diversification after they had too know so they would know my wishes something that you shouldn't have to handle"

Willow said "and Dawn what about her do you remember what you told us happen when she found out about you mom how she broke you were going to dodge that bullet let us deal with that hit"

Buffy said "I get It Willow I get It, I know I was wrong I am dieing I'm dieing and I don't know what to do with myself I had to keep busy I had to say goodbye the way I did b because If I sad It any other way I knew I couldn't do It If I admitted It to you that would mean me really admitting It to myself I'm dieing I'M DIEING, and knowing I would loose the people that meant most to me and they would loose me and I got scared I was, god Willow I'm scared"

Angel touched her shoulder "you don't have to be scared alone"

Buffy said "oh god Willow what am I going to do... what are you going to do with out me" Giles was just getting there "I'm going to miss you guys so much, so much"

I am not alone
Dear lonely miss
I forgot
That I remember this
Oh stranger stranger
Stranger thIngs have happened, I know
Oh, oh
Oh, oh

I stopped all was silent I looked around as If a realization dawned on me on one voIce could be heard as they called out my name over my heart struggling to give off It's last few beats and my head pounding In sink with each beat as I then backed up to the railing and slid down I gasping for air Angel and Giles had to hold Willow back as she screamed out my name Angel came to me and picked me up In his strong arms and started to run the gentle motion lulled me to sleep a bit to quickly all I can think Is I have never fallen asleep so fast and felt so relaxed but I knew that was It.