Tauriel Present POV
I've reflected a few times on the events in my life. Most of which are dull, but perhaps a few memories clung on tight to mthe.
Most of my memories of life in Mirkwood have faded, as I feel I am more cheerful now. However one of the few things I still visualize crystal clear is burial of my past love.
I wanted Thranduil to take love from me. I wanted to be pain free, because I was Tauriel and all I ever witnessed, saw, and felt was agonizing pain.
I thought love could bring me joy, only to be mistaken.
Alone, I had carried Kili's body into the nearby forest, where it was peaceful, war free, and by the river. A peaceful and perfect resting place in my opinion.
With my bare hands, I dug. There was no coffin available, but I would make the dirt adequate. My tears dripped unstoppably as I worked. I turned around many times to see Kili's body resting in the shade, hoping that this was all a dream, and he was alive.
I dug and dug and dug until my hands blistered and bled, dirt settling comfortably under my coarse fingernails. And I did not stop there. I refused to eat and drink, my sweat beaded all over.
When I was finally finished I had hand dug a four feet deep ditch in the earth. Shakingly, I place Kili's limp body in the ditch, accompanied with his weapons, and many flowers. I had bathed him, wiping all the blood and dirt off his face. Slowly, I fill up the hole. My tears wetting the dirt as Kili slowly was covered to nothingness.
It was the right thing to do.
At the time, Thranduil and the remainder of his army awaited me. They gave me two days. I finished easily, but my hands burned in searing pain as I gripped the rein on the horse, and ride back in pure peril and hell. I never thought could get over him
Today, that was no more than a memory, and it was definitely one of the most vivid experiences. Perhaps tying with the first time I kissed Legolas at a typical banquet.
Tauriel Past POV
Part 2
I walked back to the table I originally sat at, and was surprisingly greeted by the guards.
"There you are Tauriel!" The guards claim.
"Why the surprise?" I smile
"The prince was looking for you-" they hush and I narrow my eyes. I glanced around to see just the prince, walking around, eyes wandering a bit. I noticed he refused the dances and hand gestures from the maidens, my superhearing too.
"Forgive me Lady Katharina." He shakes his head, "I am a bit busy at the moment." Was the reply I heard as she lingered on and grabbed his arm, which he gently shook off
I pour myself a glass of water and turn around again to see Legolas within ten feet of me, of course.
The guards had silenced themselves, and I smiled lightly as he walked over.
"Hello General." Legolas smiled. "You pulchritude shines like that of the stars tonight. Greetings." He also bids acknowledgement to the guards behind, who all bowed.
"Greetings my prince." I curtsy and hide my blush. "I apologize for not greeting you earlier."
In the corner, I see Helena jumping up and down in joy. I hide my glare.
He waves it off, "As do I. Allow me to make it up to you with a dance?" He extends his hand.
I am stunned, sure we have danced before, but never with such formalities.
I place my goblet down. "It would be my pleasure." I respond politely
I take his hand, linking his elbow as he led me to center.
On our way we were stopped by a baron. I did not know his name.
He greeted Legolas with a formal bow, and whispered to me, "Could you save a dance for me tonight general, after the prince. I would appreciate that."
I smiled, "I'll see what I can do sir."
Legolas keeps a stern look at the councilman, who quickly dipped his head and walked past, but not stopping to sink at me. I flush a deep crimson, I could feel the heat on my cheeks. The remainder of the dancers clear out our way as Legolas continued leading me. Perhaps it was because the prince, nobody wanted to ever get in his way, that was for sure.
Of which I knew in terms of extremities, Legolas had indeed imprisoned and killed his own kin. This was not very common though, as the lives of all elves are treasured
The orchestra begins to play a beautiful string musical. The harpist glissandos.
Once again, I place my hands in his. We don't pull each other in, even though I wouldn't mind contact.
Legolas's face finally softens, a lot. "You have had quite the popular vote in dances tonight I see."
"Counting you I suppose. But you always do." I smile.
"You'd be surprised by yours. Rarely do barons and lords dare to ask elleths when they are already taken." He shoots back playfully
"Especially you." I grin.
"I can be fearful." He shrugs it off.
The song transitions into a slow violinist solo, I knew immediately it was of romance and similar.
There was around a two feet gap between us. We sidestep pass Ramdon again, who was now passionately kissing his new partner. I acknowledged Legolas's expression and felt his grip tighten as he spun me around so I was away from the elf and he himself was back to back with Ramdon.
"That disloyal fool." Legolas uttered. I couldn't help but agree.
We continued dancing, but neither mine nor his eyes flared out to observe our surroundings. I found myself mesmerized constantly in his. They could change shades, from the vivid ice azure to a dark, loathsome, cool blue.
A question had lingered on my tongue that I wanted to ask him, for a while now. Or perhaps it was a deep thought I had just begun to realize.
He leads me gracefully to the right before an antistrophe.
He twirls me, and in acknowledging my facial expression, speaks, "What troubles you?"
I shake my head and smile, "Nothing. Just a thought."
"Tell me." He urges, and squeezes my hand. "You have nothing to fear."
I chuckle, "Should I fear you?"
"Do you fear me?" He murmurs in curiosity.
I pretend to ponder for a bit, "No, you aren't fearsome to me at all." I grin.
He gives me a threatening look, "Watch your mouth General. I could easily send terror through your veins." Legolas playfully jokes.
"My apologies, my prince." I reply. "But you ought to know that I would never be dishonest to you."
"Tauriel, tell me." Legolas chuckles but in an urging manner, "I want to help."
More silence follows, and I feel tension growing in between
"Don't make me command you." His voice has become serious an monotonous
"I do not know how to describe it in words yet." I murmur. "It would certainly not be appropriate to speak my entire mind in a disorderly fashion."
He smiles and I twirl so my back is against his chest. His hands intertwine mine from behind, and ha brings them criss cross against my chest. I rest my head against his shoulder and let him take the lead in the dance.
The bow he gifted me, the way he always defended, protected me, the way he could always manage to satisfy everyone's needs, mine especially. He had to have convinced the king to appoint me.
"How much did you say to get me appointed General." I whisper right against his ear, "Your father would have never considered me for the position first if it was by his natural selection."
"Why wouldn't he?" Legolas whispers. "You earned your position by fighting well and proving yourself capable."
"Legolas, I know you said something." I bite my lip. "What did you say to persuade him?"
"Enough to be convincing." He smiled vaguely
"Could that be any more ambiguous." I roll my eyes.
Why did he do so though. I would have still had the same duties. The title really didn't matter honestly
"Why?" I whisper my mind, immediately regretting as I was close to his ear, against his shoulder anyways.
"What Tauriel?" He looks at me worried for a second
"Why do you do such good to me?" I whisper. " From the day you've returned a decade after Kili's death, you always comforted me, protected me, defended me. Now I feel as if I have far more than I ever should've deserved."
Legolas smiles, "Is this what troubled you?"
"I told you." I replied. "These are not troubles. Only thoughts."
He twirls me again, "You've made me realize many things my father would've never thought of. I do not wish to see you fade away as you have many more centuries to live up to."
"I rarely teach people anything but basics in training Legolas." I smile to myself, "What more could I teach a wise and experienced elven prince like you?"
He smirks, a slight wrinkle appearing under his eyes. I separated from him to a synchronized spin, before we joined hands to continue dancing. "You taught me to become a part of this world by fighting for what is ours, to deviate from my father and follow my heart. That is why I left, in hope to contribute when it is time to fight again.
His words, like usual, fill me up with warmth. My rebelliousness was not often welcomed by those in Mirkwood
He continues, "But that is not all. It is also because-" he stops mid speech.
I wait for him to continue, but he doesn't. We dance in silence, long enough to run my patience down.
"Because what Legolas?" I murmur.
He waits another second and sighed. I could sense the tension and hesitation.
"Because I never want to lose you." He looked me straight in the eye, I saw nothing but honesty and care through his retinas.
I feel my face heating up. I think now, for sure, I was ready to fess up too. Helena had too noticed, that I wasn't the same since Legolas had comforted me. I had grown happier, spirited, jealous too. Jealous was only what I think I felt at times, perhaps even the slightest bit tonight.
I remain silent, though the awkwardness was present, Legolas kept his eyes on me, as if his words were like that of everyday speech
"You've always had me friend." I whisper back finally . "My friendship, trust, and loyalty will forever belong to you."
He smiles, and mouths appreciation, but I see definite sadness come over him, especially when I had said friendship.
"Thank you." He replies.
It was not solely friendship, it was more. I reposition myself, and rest my arms around his neck rather than shoulders; he is taken by surprise, and slowly obliged to pulling me in too.
The celloist begins a melodic solo.
His entire body was warm and firm as ever too.
I snuggled against him, my left shoulder on that of his right. He slowed his dancing pace and pats my back.
It was as if the bleeding pain in my heart, was removed of stitches. Scarred, but ready to move on again
I was very grateful
I suppose we started off being friends and slowly grew closer and closer. That's when I decided, I trusted him most, he was there for me most, and that there was a part of me that loved him. Those were the words I perhaps needed all this time I've grieved.
I felt his warmth, trust, and kindness in the tips of his fingers
A tear slides out from my cheek. Legolas plays with my hair. Yet somehow I knew this was finally right. This was why I was spared. To be anchored again to the world.
"No, thank you." I murmur back. I take a long look into his caring blue eyes.
There was one gap left. The gap that set us apart reputation wise, position wise, attitude wise. For the longest time I left it be. But now, I was ready to close it. The physical part was already done.
I push back a little, place one hand on his chest and the other on his neck, stroking his silken hair. I closed my eyes, and with the slightest brush, my lips contacted with his. It was a gambling risk, and I most certainly felt hesitation when I did touch his lips. They were smooth, like always, and had a distinct firmness, which softened immediately when I kissed him.
He is frozen for a split second before reacting. And that's when I could corroborate I loved him. I loved him a lot.
He responded, pulling me in to him, and then placing his hands tenderly on both of my cheeks. Under the banquet lighting, one of the more unfavored locations in my opinion, we kissed. My hands comb through his blonde hair behind his neck. None of us shifted our weight, but his face was definitely surprised by the time I pulled away. Immediately, regret surges down my spine.
I shrank back a bit as he stared at me in curiosity. But his glance sends prickles of dread and fear through me. What had I just done? What if I just severed the friendship we spent centuries upon centuries building. What is he actually showed interest in other ladies. My mind raced as adrenaline poured through me
"I should not have acted as I did." I say uncomfortably, bow, and pull back away from his arms with no avail.
I could bet that most of the elven maidens in this room would have killed to be given such opportunity, yet I had just done so out of instinct. A move totally out of my rank
He tightens his grip, and pulls me back in. I keep my head lowered in embarrassment, until his hand found my chin. His face is tinted with the slightest smile. Gently, he moves my chin so I'm eye level. Our faces are within three inches of each other. He dips his head so our foreheads touch
"Tauriel." He hushes me, "Never apologize for your actions."
Then his eyes close and he presses his lips to mine again. His hand found my waist whilst the other remained on my cheek
His smooth lips touch mine one last time before he finally pulled away, smiling faintly at me
After 65 years and two battles, I feel as if I've finally recovered. And I was ready to move on. Ready to live on.
It was a new song now. Perhaps the sixth consecutive one that we've danced to.
I did not care. Instead, I leaned my head against his shoulder, my head was turned toward his neck. Within, I could feel his spirited heart beat loudly. Unlike me, his heartbeat remained stable, no matter what. I was quite opposite. My heartbeat described my emotions well, as it was rapidly pounding out of my chest right now.
My hands rested on his upper back. He tucks a strand of hair behind me, and places his hands around my lower waist and back. Our feet sidestepped in synchronization. The majority of my feet were exposed from sandals, and I felt my ankle brush occasionally against the shiny and smooth leather of his boots as we danced.
What I felt was pure bliss, and my eyes twinkled as he guided me.
"Am I dreaming?" I murmur. "Surely this is not real."
"Then it is a good dream." He whispers. "Enjoy it while it lasts."
To be concluded
First of all, thank you so much to all of you that have reviewed my story, your thoughts mean more to me as a writer than you will ever know.
I will also gladly take ideas for one shots of scenes. This was probably one of the fluffiest chapters in the story, as I felt a proper banquet must be held before the next slippery slope ties this story to LoTR.
Read, rate review!