Chapter 25

Marian

I awake and I realise it is early evening and I feel around for Anders, but he is not with me. I swallow hard trying to bite back the sob that is building up.

"Anders?" I call as I sit to look around our room. He is sleeping on my bed and I relax. He is here at least. I lie back down and I stare up at the ceiling remembering my whole experience. To call it a harrowing is an understatement. My experience was terrible and I don'tt want to experience something like it again. It taught me how vulnerable mages are to a demon's influence and how they can easily fool us.

I sit up again because I am restless and I am a bit hungry. I glance at him again and I smile to myself. I can't believe he wants to marry me and it is upsetting to think we might not be able to marry. Not with the way things are with the Chantry and their stupid law.

I glance at him and I decide to get up. I want to be with him, but as I stand my head spins wildly and I fall back onto the bed. I am still nauseous, but I want his warmth and comfort. I try again and I stumble my way to my bed. I scramble over him and I snuggle up to him. He awake and he turns around.

"Hey you," he says softly.

"Andy," I murmur as I snuggle into his frame much to his amusement.

"How are you feeling?" he asks.

"Nauseous," I reply.

"I have just the thing that will help you. If you will stay where you are for a minute," he says.

"Just don't be too long," I whisper. He reaches over for a bottle and I frown because I don't know what it is."What is that, Anders?" I ask.

"Something to make you feel better," he replies.

"That is evasive," I point out and he sighs.

"Love, it is Elfroot potion. She told me to give some to you as soon as you awoke and you are awake," he says with a smile.

"Obviously I am awake," I tease.

"Then may I give some to you?" he asks.

"Please," I reply.

"Good," he says. He pours some into a wooden spoon and he sits next to me. "Please open up," he says and I laugh at him.

"At least you know how to look after me," I murmur.

"Of course I do," he says and I allow him to give me the potion. I feel the liquid run down my throat and it tastes... pleasant. It is so soothing and I feel a lot better.

"How do you feel now?" he asks.

"Much better, but I am a bit hungry. I just don't know if will be able to keep anything down," I explain.

"Well, why don't we try?" he suggests.

"Alright," I reply.

"Then up you get," he says. I reach for his hands and he pulls me to my feet. Our eyes lock and the air between us starts vibrating with electricity. I slip my arms around him and I kiss him. After a minute, he pulls away and embraces me.

"You really had me worried today," he says softly.

"I know I did, but I am still here, Anders. I am still the same woman I was before my Harrowing. It was terrible, Anders. I have never felt so vulnerable in my life and I kept on hearing your voice. You were there, in here," I explain and I press his hand against my chest.

"And I always will be," he teases and he embraces me again. "Now why don't we go and get something to eat?" he suggests.

"I...I think so and maybe Ariana will be around," I say hopefully.

"I am sure she will be. Now before we go, you need to get dressed," he teases.

o0o

He places his arm around my waist and we stroll to the Dining Room. I am no hurry and nor is he.

"Do you want to tell me what happened during your Harrowing?" he asks.

"Do we really have to speak about that, Anders? It was terrible and I would rather forget about it for now if you don't mind," I reply.

"I don't mind. You can tell me when you are ready," he says.

"I can tell you this though - it was the worst experience in my life thus far and I don't want to experience something like that again," I explain.

"Trust me, I know what you mean and here we are," he says. He leads me to a quiet table and he strolls off to get me something to eat. I glance around and everyone is looking at me. It makes me feel very uncomfortable and I stifle the sob that is coming. I take a deep, shuddering breath and I stand.

"What are you all looking at?" I ask and an uncomfortable silence ensues. I am ready to run, but Ariana is coming towards me.

"Leave her alone, will you? As if none of you have done the Harrowing. Most of you have and everyone reacts differently," she informs them.

I sink back into my chair and I fold my arms. I am trembling and that is because I am upset and I am nauseous again. I rest my head on my arms and my eyes want to close.

"How are you feeling," she asks and I raise my eyes to meet her green ones.

"You tell me," I reply.

"If you want my honest opinion," she replies.

"Just tell me," I mutter and now I am agitated. "Why is he taking so long? All I want is something light to eat and then I want to go back to bed," I mutter.

"You look terrible," she replies and I glare at her.

"You asked, Marian. There is no need to give me that look," she says.

"Whatever," I say and I close my eyes again.

"I am sorry about what I said to you earlier on," she says.

"It is already forgotten, Ariana and besides I have to get well and that is what is important," I murmur.

"Marian, I will be helping Jowan soon," she says.

"Is Duncan still here?" I ask.

"Yes he is. He has been to see me. I think he might conscript me and that does not please me, but I suppose I will have a certain amount of freedom then," she informs me.

"He...he wants to conscript you?" I enquire.

"Yes and a few of the other mages," she replies.

"And if he does?" I ask.

"Then I leave this place for good. I would rather be out there doing some good then stuck in this place wondering when it will all change," she replies.

"What about-?" I ask.

"What about him, Marian? We will never be able to be together. You and Anders might get that chance, but as for Cullen and I, well..." she replies.

"But I thought -?" I whisper

"I do, but we both know we won't be able to pursue our relationship for much longer," she explains.

"And you don't really care, do you?" I ask.

"Here comes Anders," she replies.

"You just want to change the subject, Ariana. You don't fool me. I know you love him," I point out.

"Anders," she greets him and I rest my head on my arms again.

"What is wrong with her?" he asks.

"Do you have some food for me?" I ask.

"I do - some toast and a cup of tea," he replies.

"Thank you." I take my plate from him. I stare at the toast and my nausea worsens. I tentatively takes a bite and I swallow. I wait to see if it is going to stay down and it does. I have another bite and then I drink some tea.

"She is going to help Jowan...When?" he asks.

"I am not sure, but it will probably be within the next week or so. You know, the rumours are still going around about him," she says.

"There I do believe they are true...What does he want you to do?" I ask.

"I think I am going to keep that to myself. I don't think I should discuss it anyway because I have informed Irving and it is he who wants me to see it through," she says.

"Please look after yourself," I murmur and she smiles.

"I always do and now I think I am going to bed. I will see you later," she says.

"Eat up, Marian," Anders says and I push my plate away.

"I can't. If I have one more bite, I am going to vomit," I murmur and he frowns. "Anders, I have eaten half of it and I have drunk my tea. All I want is to go to bed," I whisper.

"But you haven't eaten enough," he points out.

"I know, but please?" I implore.

He sighs and he gives me cheeky smile. "Or is there something else on your mind?"

"You would ask me that, wouldn't you? No there isn't. Well, I am not going to tell you with so many other people around," I tease and he blushes.

"Anders, what is on your mind?" I ask.

"Nothing you already know," he replies.

"I don't think we should for a while, Anders. Well, until I am feeling better," I suggest.

"I wasn't thinking about that, but if you would really like to know then why don't we go to bed?" he asks.

Anders

She heads straight to my bed and she removes her . I am tempted to go to her, but I am unsure if she wants to spend time with me. She is not feeling well and I don't want to force her into anything, but I need some contact with her even if for a short while. She is in her underwear and I can't take my eyes off her. I find her beautiful to behold. She is everything I want in a woman and more.

"Andy, you can stop staring," she says softly.

"I...I wasn't staring. I was merely watching you," I murmur.

"No, you aren't," she says and I hear the amusement in her voice.

"Mmm...Could you come here for a minute?" I ask.

She turns around and she comes towards me. I reach for her hands and I pull her onto my lap.

"What can I do for you?" she asks.

"I just want some time with you," I reply and I embrace her.

"I love you to," she says and she slips her arms around me. "Mmm...You know, I would prefer it if you remove your shirt," she whispers.

"Why?" I ask.

"Because I like to feel your skin against mine, Anders," she replies.

"Then if you will just hang on, I will oblige," I tease. She sits next to me and I turn to look at her. She places her hands on my hips and she slowly tugs my shirt out of the pants. "I see. You want to, don't you?" I ask.

"I do, but I don't know if I am up to it. I am still nauseous," she replies as she slips my shirt up and over my head.

"We don't have to, love," I murmur as I pull her back onto my lap. "We really don't have to," I murmur. She slips her arms around my neck and she moves herself closer to me. I wrap my arms around securely around her and I kiss her.