Hello! Thank you for all the wonderful reviews.....well over 900, heading to 1000. Holy schnikes!!!
Hopefully everyone has seen the new trailer from New Moon that was leaked, but is being premiered tonight at MTV VMA's. Is is November YET??? NO? Shit.
Emmett returns in this chapter.....hurray for some Emmett fun.
So this chapter covers things that every couple ends up dealing with.....and I wrote it because that is how life is. (but it's not anything angsty, don't worry)
I don't own anything to do with Twilight, S. Meyer does. I do own and am proudly wearing a Poison t shirt from the concert last night. Poison and Def Leppard rocked!!!
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Chapter 25
EPOV
When the alarm went off I waited for Bella to shut it off, but after a few seconds I realized she wasn't there. I slapped the alarm off. Where the hell was she? I rolled out of bed, looked out the window, and found Bella. She was already down feeding the horses.
I threw my clothes on and ran down to the kitchen. Coffee was already made and there were fresh muffins. What time did she wake up anyway? It was just seven am now. This was a little weird. I grabbed a muffin to have with my coffee and headed to the stables.
Bella was halfway down the aisle feeding when I caught up to her. "Morning love." Bella turned around and gave me a smile, but it wasn't the glowing one I was used to. "What's wrong? It looks like you woke up really early."
"Oh I'm okay. I just have a bit of a headache this morning. Once I woke up I couldn't go back to sleep, so I went and got productive."
I took a bite of the muffin. "Very tasty productiveness too." Bella snorted. "Do you think the beer last night gave you the headache?"
Bella shook her head. "I wish. No, sometimes I get migraines when I get my period." She blushed and looked down the aisle. "Probably more then you want to know. Anyway, no fun for me for a few days. Hormones suck." She punctuated the end of her speech tossing the hay into Gunner's stall a little harder than usual.
"Sorry you're hurting. Don't be embarrassed to tell me these things. Remember, I do have a sister, a mother, and a father who is a doctor. I grew up always hearing this stuff, whether I wanted to or not. Do you want some help with chores?" Bella did look a little pale. She definitely looked tired.
"Nah, it will be got to work up a sweat, cleanse the body and all that. But thank you sweetie." She tossed Aston his morning hay and gave him a pet. "Mimosa is back today right?"
"Yep, she should arrive sometime this morning. Jake is coming over this afternoon to do his own exam and check on her pregnancy. He'll probably do an ultrasound if you want to watch." Bella's eyes lit up.
"Really? Oh that would be wonderful to see." Bella grabbed the hay cart to go put it away. She started to pass me and then stopped. Turning she gave me a grin. "Oh and by the way, the hay barn."
"What about it?"
"Naughty thought number two. Now give me my clue." Bella put her hands on her hip and tilted her head.
I shook my head and took a sip of my coffee. "God, I'm not even awake yet. Give me a second to catch up. Hay barn? Really?"
"Really. Clue?"
It was a good thing I wasn't really that alert yet. My brain wasn't processing the whole idea of sex with Bella on the hay quickly. The image that I had pictured for a second though, wow. "Okay, um, clue. You will be wearing a black shirt."
Bella stalked over to me and poked her finger at my chest. "That is all you're giving me? I give you sex in the hay barn and you tell me I'm wearing a black shirt?"
I shrugged. "Well I'll be wearing black jeans. But I'm not giving you anymore than that." I smiled down at her.
Bella stared at me a minute. "Fine. You are going to drag this out as long as you can right?"
"I hadn't thought about that, but it's not a bad idea actually."
"God Cullen, I swear…." Bella tried to smack at my chest. I just grabbed her wrists and pulled her up to me.
"You swear….yes I know, when you watch the Seahawks. Boy you get grouchy when your hormones get going." Bella gave me a death glare. I knew I was on dangerous ground. I held her wrists in one hand and wrapped my other hand around the back of her neck. I massaged her neck gently. She tried to keep glaring, but I could see it faltering.
"I'm grouchy because you are a pain in the ass when you have the upper hand. It won't always be like that you know."
I leaned down and whispered in her ear. "I'm counting on it." I straightened back up and released her wrists. "You sure you don't want a hand?"
Bella rolled her eyes. "Sweet talk isn't going to cut it today Cullen." She turned and went to take the hay cart back. I just stood there and chuckled. I was sorry her head hurt, but she was just so adorable when she got her back up. I hadn't really seen Bella hormonal yet, this was a new experience.
I turned a few horses out for her. Riding could wait until after Mimosa arrived home. A large horse van pulled into the driveway. I went out and met the driver. After unloading Mimosa I checked her over carefully before I signed off on her arrival. I lead Mimosa to her stall where she dove into the big pile of hay Bella had put there.
"Eat up mama. Got to feed that future champion you are carrying." Bella giggled from the stall next door. I peeked in there, "What?"
"You. You're really cute you know that? I can't be annoyed with you when you are like that Edward." She was busy picking the stall, but she was smiling.
I chuckled. "Good to know."
The morning went by smoothly. I rode a couple horses and then went through the inventory of horse blankets. Fall was in the air and pretty soon the horses would need to be wearing them. They had all been cleaned and repaired last spring. I wanted to make sure that I had enough for all the horses, plus a couple extras. Aston and Sparty were notoriously hard on their blankets.
Jake pulled in at one pm. He met me in the aisle by Mimosa's stall. "She's back in one piece Edward?"
"Yes, she seems fine. Let me find Bella, she wanted to see this." I heard Bella's voice behind me.
"I'm right here Edward." Bella came wandering out of the tack room. "Hey Jake, how are you doing?"
"Great. Have you contacted the WWE yet Bella?" Jake's grin was contagious and Bella grinned back at him, and then flipped him off. "Ooooh, she's feisty today. So shall we get this baby show on the road? I need to grab a few things, Edward can you help me with the ultrasound." I nodded and followed him out.
Jake waited until we were out of earshot to ask "Things still good dude?" I grabbed a few pieces of equipment and the extension cord Jake handed me.
"Absolutely, never better. How about you and Samantha?"
Jake pulled the ultrasound from his truck. "Things are great."
We headed back in. Bella haltered Mimosa and brought her out in the aisle. Jake set everything up and put the ultrasound screen on a chair where we could all see it.
"Give me Mimosa Bella, so you can get closer to the screen." Bella happily handed over the lead to me and moved closer to where Jake was. Jake gloved and lubed his arm up well. Bella looked over her shoulder at me.
"I'm very glad I'm not a mare Edward." I just shook my head and Jake chuckled.
Jake inserted the ultrasound probe rectally and watched the screen intently. Personally I knew I would have to wait until he told me what to look at. The screen was just a blur of white and gray on a black background. He got it adjusted and then pointed. In the center of all the white was a black oval.
"See that. That is the amniotic sac. Fluid shows up as dark on an ultrasound." He moved the probe just slightly. "There it is. Can you see it Bella?"
Bella leaned in and looked. Suddenly she pointed at the screen. "OH! There? Is that a heart beating?" Her eyes were huge.
Jake laughed. "You should've been a vet Bella. Yes, that is the heart beating. Looks very strong too. It's all you can really see at this stage. Let me get a couple measurements, but everything looks great." Jake altered the probe and saved various images to the machine. Bella stared transfixed at everything on the screen. I was just enjoying watching Bella's reactions.
Jake finished with the probe and cleaned Mimosa off. "This is her first pregnancy right?" I nodded. "Well, she's off to a promising start."
Bella turned and took Mimosa from me. "Want me to turn her out?"
"Sure."
Bella started to lead her out, but then looked back at me. I could tell by the look on her face, she was up to something. "Edward?" I looked at her waiting. "Your car. I want my clue when I get back." She winked and led Mimosa out.
I groaned. What in the hell was I thinking when I started this. Jake was staring at me. "Dude, what was that about?"
I sighed. "Bella and I have a little game going. I won't tell her what our Halloween costume is. So I told her for every naughty thought shared with me I would give her a clue about the costumes. Now I'm wondering if my sanity is going to hold until she guesses correctly."
Jake busted up laughing. "That is fantastic. Your car? I can guess what that means. You are so screwed Edward, literally and figuratively."
"I know, I know." I smiled, I couldn't help it. I was enjoying the game, even if it was a form of torture.
"Like I said before Edward, she is very good for you." Jake handed me a couple printed ultrasound pictures. "I'll be back in a month for another check on Mimosa. Call me when you want to set it up. Good luck man!"
"Thanks I need it. " Jake was still laughing to himself as he walked out. I stood there looking at the ultrasound pictures. It was actually really neat to see the little heart beating away on the screen. I was so busy looking at the photos that I didn't notice Bella's return.
"What are you looking at?" Bella peered over my hands to see what I was holding. I handed one to her. "Ultrasound pictures from Mimosa?"
"Yep, pretty neat huh?"
Bella shook her head as she stared at the picture. "Amazing is more like it." She reached her hand up and wiped under one of her eyes quickly. I looked closer at her and could see she had tears in her eyes.
"Love?" I put my hand under Bella's chin so she had to look at me. "Why are you crying?"
Bella shook her head. "Sorry, it's my stupid damn hormones! Make me so emotional sometimes. Just ignore me."
"Aw, come here." I hugged her too me. "I would never ignore you. There's nothing to be sorry for. I love you, stupid damn hormones and everything."
Bella wiped her eyes again and laughed. "Good thing I guess. Love you too, thanks."
"Your welcome, not a problem. I'm sure one of these days I'll be hormonal over something and you can tolerate me for a change." Bella laughed again. "How's the migraine?"
"Still hurts." She shrugged, downplaying the pain. Bella's eyes showed that it was more painful then she was letting on.
"Look, I'm done riding for the day. The only thing left is to feed in a bit. Why don't you go take a nap or a bath? Or crash on the couch with a cheesy movie. Whatever you think might make you feel better. I'll finish up a few things down here, feed, and then be in." I rubbed Bella's shoulders.
"Okay…..can I still get my clue now though?" Bella gave me a little smile.
"Of course, let me see. I'm going to also be wearing a leather jacket." Bella's eyebrows went up.
"Really? Black jeans and a leather jacket. I like that idea."
"Of course you do." I grinned at her. "Do I need to make an emergency chocolate run for you? I used to do that for Alice you know."
Bella shook her head. "No I'm good. And she told me about that. That was one of the few things Alice had told me when she was raving about her big brother."
"Well, I learned it from my Dad. Once I was driving I became the chocolate run guy if my Dad wasn't home. Mom and Alice, they wanted their chocolate, every month, like clockwork." I rolled my eyes. "Alright, get in the house and do whatever it is you need to do."
"I'm going." Bella strolled down the aisle. What was that saying? Something about not wanting your woman to leave, but liking to watch her go. Definitely how I felt watching Bella.
I went and retrieved horses that were still in pasture. After I had finished some paperwork, I fed and swept up. Every horse was settled in well for the evening, so it was time for me to go see what Bella was up to.
The house was quiet when I entered. I didn't call for her in case she was asleep. She wasn't downstairs, so I wandered upstairs. I found Bella curled up in her chair, hair wet, sleeping. She was wearing one of my t-shirts and her usual cotton shorts. I loved seeing Bella in my clothes. The book she had been reading was in her lap. I picked it up, Emma by Jane Austen. Setting the book on the table, I pulled a blanket off the couch and laid it over her. I quietly crept out of the room to go shower.
While I was cleaning up, I started thinking about how much I had learned about Bella in such a short time. Most of it was just by observing. Bella was essentially a private person. If it hadn't been for the fact I could tell she wasn't feeling well, I wouldn't have guessed she was having her period. Before now I hadn't really known when that was happening. Now that we were essentially living together, it was going to be harder for her to hide details that she would normally keep secret. At least I had an idea of what I might expect if her hormones hit her hard. So far so good, it wasn't too bad. I wasn't getting whiplash from her mood swings yet. I couldn't see how Bella could be as bad as Alice could be. I didn't envy Jasper at all. Once a month I just knew he must hide in a bomb shelter for a few days or something. Jasper truly loved Alice, and this was one of the reasons I was sure of it.
I scrubbed my hair and stood under the hot water for several minutes. Watching Bella become all emotional at the ultrasound made me think of something else. That someday I hoped we would be looking at a totally different kind of ultrasound. I smiled to myself. If you had asked me a year ago if I was ever going to get married and have kids someday, I would have said hell no. Now I was thinking about Bella being pregnant someday. Talk about a change.
Drying off, I decided Bella and I needed to talk about topics like that someday soon. I put some pajama pants and t-shirt on. Before I headed downstairs, I checked on Bella, she was still asleep. I wandered down to the kitchen and debated what to make for dinner. With a headache, Bella would probably appreciate comfort food. She really liked my pancakes, so I decided that was the way to go. I cooked up enough for the both of us. Once everything was ready I went to get Bella, only to see her wandering down the stairs.
"Hey there love, how is the head feeling?" Frankly she didn't look like it was much better.
"I wish I could say better, but it really isn't. I'm going to take some migraine meds. I try not to because they knock me out, but Advil isn't cutting it." Bella rubbed the area above her eyes and joined me in the kitchen. "What are you doing?"
"Making pancakes. Are you hungry?" Bella nodded. "Go ahead and dish up, I'm right behind you."
I joined Bella at the table. She was smiling as she chewed. "As usual, you make the best pancakes Edward."
"Thanks. I thought they might sound good to you. You're going to crash after this?"
"Yep. Best thing to do at this point." She rubbed her temples for a second before she resumed eating. I noticed she was squinting a little.
"Do your eyes hurt? You're squinting." Bella chuckled quietly.
"You say I'm perceptive? No they don't hurt but they become really sensitive to light sometimes with these stupid headaches." We finished eating and I took the dishes and put them in the sink. I wasn't used to Bella being this quiet, it was odd.
I found her upstairs crawling into bed. "Did you take your meds?" She nodded. I walked over and closed the blinds. It wasn't very light still outside, but I figured it might help. Pulling the covers back I joined her in bed.
"Edward it's still early, you don't have to keep me company you know." She gave me a smile.
"I know. I have an ulterior motive though. We can snuggle, and I earn brownie points for some later date when I make you mad about something. I'll just remind you of keeping you company when you had a migraine."
Bella laughed and scooted over to lay her head on my chest. "I should've known."
I reached one hand over and lightly rubbed her neck and shoulders. Bella sighed. "Does that help?"
"It does, thanks."
I started to slide out from under her. "Get on your stomach then." Bella gave me a look, but then did what I asked.
I knelt over her and started massaging her shoulders and neck properly. I was careful not to rub too hard. Using long strokes, I worked on the muscles where her neck tied into her shoulders. "You are really tight back here love, no wonder your head hurts."
"Mmmmm hmmm." Bella was relaxing into the bed rather rapidly.
"Is it still helping?"
"Yep." Bella's eyes were closed, but her face was more relaxed then I had seen it all day.
For about twenty minutes I worked on loosening Bella's muscles. By the time I was done, she was barely awake. Her neck no longer felt like a rock though. I moved and lay down next to her, watching her face. One brown eye opened and looked at me.
"Thank you."
"Welcome. Go to sleep love." I stroked my fingers gently through her hair.
"Mmmm, kiss first." A sleepy half smile crossed her face. I leaned over and gave her a gentle kiss. Bella smiled again and then slid closer to me. She rolled so her back was too me and pressed into me. I wrapped my body around hers and kissed her neck. Her breathing was slow and deep under my arm. Within minutes I knew she was asleep.
I lay there with my eyes closed, feeling Bella's heart beating against my arm. The regular rhythm was pleasant to feel. I could see why Bella so often laid her head over my heart. Bella's scent was stronger after she had just showered, and I was enjoying the opportunity to smell it. My last thought before I drifted off was how the littlest things about one another could bring us happiness.
The room was very dark in the morning when the alarm woke me. I turned it off and rolled over to look at Bella. She was curled up in a tight ball, wrapped in a cocoon of blankets. Her face appeared relaxed, so I hoped that meant her headache was gone. I smoothed the hair back from Bella's face and ran my fingers down to rest along the side of her neck. Her pulse reflected the same steady beat that I had felt from her heart last night. I stroked my thumb along her neck. "Love, time to rise and shine."
Bella groaned and wrapped herself up tighter in the blankets. I kissed her forehead. "Sweetie, wake up. I know you don't want to, but you need to."
Bella's lids cracked open and she looked up at me. "No I don't want to." she croaked.
"How's the head?" I kissed her forehead again.
Rubbing her eyes, Bella thought for a moment. "Okay I think. I'm not awake enough yet to tell really." Slowly she sat up. Her hair was all over the place since she had fallen asleep with it still damp. I snickered a little looking at her.
Bella narrowed her eyes, "What Edward?"
"Let's just say your hair definitely has a mind of its own this morning."
"Oh great." Bella got out of bed and wandered into the bathroom. "Holy shit! Did you give me electroshock therapy while I was sleeping Cullen?"
I laughed and joined her. "No I have nothing to do with it." I smiled at her in the mirror.
Bella frowned at her reflection. "Definitely a braid day." She grabbed her hairbrush and began trying to bring some order to her hair. I leaned against the counter watching her as she braided her hair. Her fingers were quick and agile as she manipulated the thick sections of hair. She snapped a rubber band on the end and sighed. Bella turned towards me with a smile, and started pushing me out of the bathroom.
"What are you doing?" I grabbed her wrists.
"I have to pee, there are some experiences I'm not required to share with you. Go make yourself useful and start the coffee."
I chuckled as the door shut in my face. Happily I went and started the coffee. Heading back upstairs to get dressed, I passed Bella on the stairs. Her radiant smile told me she was feeling better today. "Thanks for making the coffee my lover." Whenever Bella called me that I wanted to stop whatever I was doing and kiss her. She was past me before I could though. Later, most definitely.
Bella and I walked out to the stables together. It was a relief to see her acting like her usual self again. I was in the tack room when my phone rang. I saw it was Jake and wondered why he was calling this early.
"Hey there Jake, what's up?"
"Hi Edward. Do you remember the horse Lauren had, named Masen?" That was a random question, even for Jake.
"I do. Haven't seen him out with her in quite a while though. Always seemed like too much horse for her, but really talented."
"Well, I just heard a rumor that she's gotten rid of him to the auction that is happening today." Jake's voice reflected his annoyance over that idea.
"What? Are you kidding me? Why?"
"Behavior is what I've been told. She sent him to some trainer that was abusive. Horse came back a little nutty. Anyway, I have to be the vet on call at the auction. If he's there today, and I think he still has potential, do you want him?"
I remembered Masen well. He was an extremely talented horse, with tons of potential. At least he used to be. I think he may have been on the sensitive side, somewhat like Aston. How bad was the mental damage I wondered? "Yes Jake. Take a look at him. If you can't see any glaring physical issues, I'll attempt to rehab him. That horse is too gifted to not be given a second chance."
"I thought that would be your answer. Okay. I'll know by two this afternoon. You ready for him if I bring him today?"
"Yep. The isolation stall is clean." I had one stall that was separate from the others. I used it to quarantine new arrivals to prevent the spread of any illness they might bring in.
"Okay, talk to you later." Jake hung up and I stood there for a second. I really didn't need another horse in the lineup, but this was too good to pass up. Bella was walking by as I exited the tack room.
"Bella, the isolation stall is ready for a horse currently? We might have a new horse coming in."
Bella's eyes sparkled at me. "Really? Where from?"
"The auction yard. I'll explain more once I hear from Jake if the horse is really there."
"Sounds like there is quite a story Edward. Yes the stall is ready." I just nodded at her. True to his word, Jake called me at two as I was handing Gunner to Bella.
"What's the story Jake?"
"Masen's here, and now he belongs to you. I paid only five hundred for him. Physically he looks sound. He's underweight, but no other major physical issues. Mentally he's a little screwy Edward. He's tried to bite me a few times. I haven't found him any harder to handle then Aston, but it's hard to tell in this environment. I'm going to tranquilize him before I haul him over.
I sighed a little, wondering what I had gotten myself into. "Okay, see you soon."
Bella was watching me as she untacked Gunner. "The new horse is coming?" I nodded. "So? What is his story?"
I sat on a bench outside the tack room. "Jake called me from the auction yard. Apparently Lauren dumped one of her horses there yesterday." Bella cringed. "His name is Masen. I've seen him before. From what Jake heard, Lauren had Masen in training with someone who was abusive to him. He came back from that mentally screwed up. Lauren couldn't deal with it, so she sent him to the auction." Bella growled a little. "Anyway, he's entirely too talented to not try to salvage. Especially for five hundred dollars."
Bella gasped. "That's all? What breed is he? How old is he?"
"Dutch Warmblood I think, and about ten. Normally a horse of his caliber, without the psyche issues would sell easily for sixty to seventy grand." Bella's mouth fell open.
A little later Jake drove in pulling a horse trailer. Bella and I met him in the driveway. Jake hopped out of the cab with his signature smile. "Hey guys. Anyone want a horse?" He walked to the back of the trailer. "Once I tranquilized him, he wasn't too bad Edward. But don't turn your back on him." Jake cracked open the back of the trailer and squeezed in. We could hear him talking in low tones to Masen.
I opened the door when he gave me the all clear. Slowly Jake backed Masen out of the trailer. He wasn't as tall as Aston, and was at least two hundred and fifty pounds under weight. Even with the sedatives in his system, his eyes wore an anxious expression. Jake started to hand him to me, but Masen had other ideas. He grew nervous and started backing away, tripping over himself. Then he pinned his ears and threatened to bite.
"Jake why don't you just lead him in." Jake nodded and brought him into the isolation stall. "Leave his halter on. If he gets funny later we have something on him." Bella had already put some hay in the stall. We all stood outside and watched as Masen suspiciously inspected every inch of his new environment. Even sedated, he would jump at the least little sound. I shook my head. Jake had to head out to a call, so I followed him out the truck for some more sedative, just in case.
When I returned Bella was standing there watching Masen intently. He had taken a few bites of hay and was chewing while looking around. Bella spoke without taking her eyes off of Masen. "How could someone mess a horse up like this Edward? I mean not only ethically, but it takes some work to get them this bad. Lauren is such a wench."
I shrugged. "She is. I don't have an answer for either question. I don't get it anymore then you do. We will just have to see if he can be brought back. It's not going to be easy."
"Can I help?" Bella's eyes were shining at the idea. I knew my answer was not going to go over well with her.
BPOV
It was amazing to me how much better the world feels when you have gotten rid of a migraine. I was so miserable yesterday. Edward was so sweet. He earned some brownie points for sure. I knew I wasn't the most pleasant person yesterday to be around. Today I was back to enjoying the sounds and smells of the stable like I usually do.
When Edward told me about a possible new horse coming in, with a cryptic reference to its background, I was very curious. Once he heard from Jake that this horse was actually coming, he filled me in on the story. When Masen arrived with Jake, I couldn't take my eyes off him. He was thin, his ribs were visible. Even with his poor physical condition, I could see the horse he used to be. Masen was a gorgeous dark mahogany bay color, with dark black mane and tail. His hair coat was dull and faded, but it would be gorgeous when he was recovered.
Masen wouldn't have anything to do with Edward when he tried to take him from Jake. Watching him in his stall, I could see how much Masen didn't trust anything around him. He seemed to be on alert all the time. I remembered that feeling. I felt a kinship with Masen, because I understood what it was like to be that tense. While Edward was gone, I talked to Masen.
"Hey there Masen, I'm Bella. You are in a good place now, I promise. Nothing bad will happen to you here. Just give us a chance okay." I had my fingers wrapped around the stall bars and Masen stretched his nose as far forward as he could, without having to take a step. He sniffed in my general direction and then snorted. Edward's feet sounded in the aisle and Masen startled. He grabbed a mouthful of hay and looked at me as if to say I've heard that before, we will have to see.
I wanted to help with Masen. There was something about him that just pulled at me. Edward stood with me watching. When I asked him if I could help with Masen, I saw a shadow cross his face for a brief moment.
"Bella, I don't think that is a good idea."
"Why Edward?" I was confused. What was the problem?
Edward sighed. "Bella, I don't know anything about this horse. Right now I consider him unpredictable. That combined with his mental and emotional scars makes him dangerous. That's a risk I don't want you to take."
I rolled my eyes at him. "You're taking the risk."
"I've been doing this a lot longer then you Bella. It's less of a risk for me." He took my hand and squeezed it.
"It's still a risk. Do you think I'm not talented or skilled enough?" I was getting a little annoyed.
"Bella it's not an issue of talent or skill. It's an issue of tact. You haven't had a lot of practice dealing with a horse like this. It's walking a very fine line every moment with them. It's very easy to accidentally push them too far and then someone gets hurt."
"So I lack tact? Really." Now I was pissed.
Edward squeezed my hand again. "Please don't be angry. I just don't think you have enough experience to deal with a horse with this kind of damage yet. I don't want you to get hurt, I would never forgive myself."
"Edward, I'm a big girl. Have you ever seen me get myself into a situation that was too much for me? Have you ever seen me overstate my level of skill? I don't want to get hurt either. I just think I have a connection with Masen. Please let me try. I will be the first to admit it if I'm in over my head."
Edward shook his head. "No Bella."
I pulled my hand from his, a little roughly. "Edward, you can't always protect me from everything. I could trip tomorrow and break a leg. Would you blame yourself for not holding my hand while I was walking?"
Edward frowned at me. "This is different Bella and you know it." His patience was waning, but mine was already gone.
"How? All I know is it seems you don't trust me, or believe in me." I crossed my arms over my chest, gripping my sides.
Anger flashed in Edward's eyes briefly and his voice took on a tense edge. "How can you say that Bella? You know that isn't true at all. Of course I trust you and believe in you."
"Then why won't you give me a chance?" I felt tears sting my eyes and I clenched my toes in my boots. Crying now would not help.
"Because this is too big a leap. I'm not comfortable with it, and I'm sorry there isn't anything you can say that is going to change my mind." Edward's tone clearly said the subject was closed.
"Fine. I'm going to feed. I have the skills for that." I turned and walked away to the hay barn. I heard Edward sigh behind me. I glanced back as I left the aisle to see him pinching the bridge of his nose. He only did that when he was frustrated or stressed. I was sure my words gave him both feelings, but right now I didn't care.
I tossed the hay bales into the cart a little harder then I usually did. I heard Edwards's boots on the pavement behind me heading for the house. I kept my eyes on what I was doing. A little voice in my head tried to tell me I was being a little unreasonable, but irritation drowned it out. Somehow I had to make Edward understand. I just didn't know how.
When I was done feeding, I wasn't ready to face Edward yet. I headed to my apartment. I hadn't really been in there in quite awhile. We spent all our time at Edward's. I needed a breather and I needed some Metallica. Once I was inside, I put Death Magnetic on and cranked the song Broken, Beat, and Scarred. It seemed oddly appropriate.
You rise, you fall, you're down then you rise again
What don't kill you make you more strong
You rise, you fall, you're down then you rise again
What don't kill you make you more strong
Rise, fall, down, rise again
What don't kill you make you more strong
Rise, fall, down, rise again
What don't kill you make you more strong
Through black days
Through black nights
Through pitch black insights
I laid on my bed with my eyes closed and listened to the music. Suddenly my phone rang. I expected to see Edward on the caller id, but it was Emmett. I turned the music down slightly and answered, "Hey Em."
"Bellaruski!! Wassup!!!!"
"Not much Em, you?" I wasn't in the mood to talk, but Emmett called so rarely, I didn't want to cut him off.
"Just checking in. Wait, is that Metallica I hear?" I was silent, choosing not to answer a question he already knew the answer too. "Okay, what's going on Bella?"
"Nothing Emmett, I am just a little pissed at Edward right now."
"What did the asshole do? Do I need to come over there?" I could almost hear Emmett flexing his muscles over the phone.
"No, no, no. He didn't do anything Em, calm down. We just are having a difference of opinion right now."
"Oh. Over what? Maybe I can help?"
I laughed quietly to myself. "A new horse arrived today that has some emotional or mental issues because of an abusive trainer. I want to work with him but Edward won't let me. He says it's too dangerous."
"He's probably right."
"Shit Em, not you too. Jesus, no one is on my side!" I punched my fist into the mattress.
"Bella, it's not about sides. I just know Edward has been doing this longer than you. Maybe you should give him the benefit of the doubt this time." Emmett's words were logical, trying to calm me. I really hated logical and calm right now. I certainly wasn't feeling either one.
"I think he's just being an overprotective pain in the ass."
Emmett laughed. "Well there is that possibility too, but I can understand that."
"Why, because I'm your little sister?"
"No, because I also have a woman I love more than life itself. I've been known to cross the overprotective line a time or too. Remember when Rose wanted to go sky diving?"
I did remember that. When Rose told Emmett he was furious. He pretty much forbade her to go. "I do. I also remember Rose didn't talk to you for a few days."
"True. I will admit I overreacted. Once Rose showed me she had done her research, and there was very little risk, I felt better about it. I still didn't love the idea. I'm just trying to remind you that a man will do strange things because of love. That includes freaking out at the thought of his woman in a dangerous situation."
"So what do I do? I really think I can work with this horse." I closed my eyes and waited for Emmett to answer.
"Just be patient. Try to understand that this is probably coming from Edward wanting to keep you safe. When you are calmer, explain to him why you think you can work with this horse. Maybe he just needs to have a little time to figure the horse out before he will feel better about you taking a turn. Of course I don't know a horse from a hole in the ground, but I know how guys think."
"Okay Emmett, thank you." Emmett was a smart guy. He didn't always show it, but he was good at understanding people. Probably what made him such a good coach.
"You are welcome. Feel better?"
"Yes I do." At least I didn't want to throttle anyone anymore.
"Good can I ask you a question?" There was the smallest hint of a chuckle when he spoke.
"I guess."
"Are you ragging hard core this week or is it my imagination?" He laughed hard.
"Fuck off Emmett, you are such an ass." Leave it to Emmett to figure that out and bring it up.
"Oh come on, I can sense out of whack hormones from a mile away, especially yours. Is there a small chance you are a little more sensitive right now? Just a touch?"
I just growled into the phone.
"Oooh, watch out. Bellabitch is on a hormonal hunt. Surfing the crimson wave, getting a visit from Aunt Flo, having a high red tide….."
"STOP it asshat."
"Fighting the curse, a monthly present from mother nature….."
"Emmett, shut IT you fucknut!" I could hear him laughing hysterically on the other end of the line.
"Tell me something Bella…..has Edward earned his red wings yet?"
"What? What the fuck does that mean?" I was seconds away from hanging up on Emmett.
"You know…..have you two gotten busy while you are on your period?"
I took a deep breath to prevent throwing my phone. "That is none of your damn business."
"Ooooh, my guess is no. It's no big deal. Really good for cramps too, at least that's what Rose says. Let the man earn some wings Bellywelly."
"That's it, night Emmett."
"Night Bella." He was still laughing as he hung up.
Emmett's little rant reminded me of when we were younger. Emmett and I would tease each other at night from our beds, across the hall. It would escalate until Dad yelled at us to knock it off. Even after he yelled, Emmett and I would still trade whispered insults. I teased him when I caught him spying on the neighbor when she was changing. He gave me shit about my first bra. That was just our way. Tonight brought some memories back of that time. The Day That Never Comes was playing now. As I listened I was reminded why I felt the need to work with Masen.
Born to push you around
You better just stay down
You pull away
He hits the flesh
You hit the ground
Mouths so full of lies
Tend to black your eyes
Just keep them closed
Keep praying
Just keep waiting
Waiting for the one
The day that never comes
When you stand up and feel the warmth
But the sunshine never comes
No the sunshine never comes
Push you cross that line
Just stay down this time
Hide in yourself
Crawl in yourself
You'll have your time
A quiet knock on the door broke me from my reverie. I knew it was Edward. "Come in Edward." I heard the door open, then close, and his footsteps across my floor. I figured he knew where I was, but I still called out "I'm in the bedroom." When he appeared in the doorway I gave him a small smile from the bed.
Edward smiled and walked in. "Hi love." He looked a little wary of me, not that I blamed him. I turned the music off.
I patted the mattress next to me. "Come join me handsome." Edward kicked his shoes off and crawled up to me. As soon as he was next to me I wrapped myself around him and snuggled into his chest. Edward chuckled and enveloped me in his arms. I felt him kiss the top of my head.
"Sorry I was such a bitch." Edward kissed my head again.
"It's okay. Sorry I'm a stubborn ass that makes you need your Metallica."
I chuckled a little. "Don't worry about it." I stroked my fingers over his chest, feeling the muscles beneath his shirt.
We lay there quietly for several minutes. Finally I spoke, "Edward, I just want to explain one thing. I don't expect you to change your mind, but I want you to know something." I rolled back a little so I could look him in the eye. Edward was waiting patiently for me to continue. "I understand Masen. I get what it's like. I never knew when my world would shift from calm to hurricane force. I didn't trust much of anything around me. Masen is the same way. But he's still in there, waiting to be rediscovered. He just has to find trust again. Like I did." I kissed the center of Edward's chest and waited.
Edward smiled at me. "I love that amazing perceptive side of you. I think you are right on the money about Masen. Of all the people I know, you probably understand his past better than anyone. I just have real issues with putting you in a situation where you might get hurt."
I nodded. "I understand."
"So I have a proposition for you."
"What is that Edward?" I was watching his eyes, looking at the different hues of green in them.
"We work together and see how it goes. If Masen adapts well to his new home, and loses some of his unpredictability, he will become your project. Until I feel more comfortable, we work with him together, or you work him while I watch.
I felt my heart swell within my chest. "Really?" A huge grin came across my face.
"Really. However this goes at my pace Bella, and I have the right to pull you from it, agreed?" Edward smiled seeing my reaction. "I do think this could be a very good learning experience for you."
"Okay. Edward, thank you!" I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him soundly on the lips. "What changed your mind?"
Edward rolled his eyes. "I may have been told by a certain pixie sister of mine to pull the stick out of my ass and relax a little."
I laughed. "That's okay, Emmett told me to stop ragging so hard and understand where you are coming from. Then he tormented me some more, like only a big brother can." I shook my head. My cell phone rang again. "Speak of the devil…..what Emmett you assmunch?"
Emmett started singing into the phone. "Take these broken wings, and learn to fly again, learn to live so free."
Edward could hear him and was laughing. Of course he had no clue of the meaning behind Emmett's song choice.
"Emmett, I'm going to take your jock strap and put some icy hot in it if you don't stop acting like a complete fuckstick."
"Aw Bella. Not the right song. How about this one? "Did you ever know that you're my hero? You're everything I would like to be. I can fly higher than an eagle, 'cause you are the wind beneath my wings."
I was blushing furiously. If I wasn't embarrassed, I would probably be laughing with Edward. "Emmett, you are dead the next time I see you. Do you hear me? Dead. Dick for brains." I hung up the phone.
Edward was staring of course. "What the hell was that all about?"
"More tormenting apparently."
"By singing to you?" Edward looked at me curiously.
"It wasn't so much the singing, but the songs he chose." I was gazing at the pattern on Edward's shirt.
"Well you better explain Triple B." I looked up and Edward winked at me.
"I told you he was giving me a hard time about being hormonal?" Edward nodded. "Well then he asked me if you had earned your red wings yet." Edward lost it, laughing hysterically. "Obviously you know what it means; I had to ask Emmett what the hell he was talking about." I waited until Edward was just chuckling. "When I wouldn't give him an answer, he was after me to make sure you earned your wings. Now do you understand Triple C?"
Edward grinned. "Yes I do. I wish I had been there to witness that conversation. I imagine it was funny."
"Funny to Emmett. I mostly cussed him out. It was a flashback to our teenage years. Trust me, you will get to see it someday. It's a common occurrence." My phone rang, Emmett again. I shook my head. "I'm going to fucking kill that douchebag." Edward was chuckling next to me.
"So help me Emmett, if you are calling to sing another song, forget it you asswit. I'm busy talking to Edward as it is."
"Easy there Bloody Mary. Take a break from riding your broomstick, I was looking to talk to Edward anyway. I don't have his number."
"What the hell are you up to Emmett?" I didn't trust him.
"I'm not up to anything, would you please put Edward on the phone." Edward was listening to our exchange with amusement in his eyes.
"Alright, don't try anything funny Em, or I'll tell Rose about the Clay Aiken CD I found in your car."
"Ooooohhhh, I 'm scared." I handed Edward the phone with a worried look. He just smiled, took it, but held it so I could hear what Emmett said.
"Hey Emmett, its Edward."
"Hey there, listen I have a favor to ask you. I was wondering if you would be one of my groomsmen for the wedding."
"Sure, as long as I get paired with Bella." Edward winked at me.
"No problem. I'm surprised that you are willing to hang with her when she is on a hormonal rollercoaster. I know what she's like, watch out." Edward laughed a little when I growled next to him.
"Alice was worse by far, so it's not that bad compared to experiencing that growing up."
"Excellent. Listen, give me a call if you ever need a wingman?" Edward cracked up and I could hear Emmett laughing too. I shrieked and grabbed for the phone.
"That fucker! Edward hand me the phone!" Edward handed it to me, still laughing. "Emmett I'm going to take my broomstick and ram it up your ass."
"Promises, promises. Well my work here is done, glad to see you filled Edward in on our little conversation. Rose just got home, so I'm going to go give my woman some loving. Night sis." He hung up.
I took a very deep breath. Edward was still snickering. I grabbed the pillow under my head, covered my face, and screamed into it. When I stopped, Edward pulled it away from my face. "Feel better?" Clearly he was amused by the entire situation.
"Marginally. Sometimes, I hate my brother."
Edward got up off the bed and walked around to my side. "At least you know you have a guaranteed date for the wedding."
"I already knew I had a guaranteed date with you Edward."
"Well now I don't have to kick some random groomsman's ass for touching you." He knelt down next to the bed and motioned to his back. "Hop on, let's go get some food." I climbed up on his back, wrapping my arms and legs around him. Edward held onto my legs firmly and we headed for his place. I kissed the side of his neck, and then leaned my head into his. When he headed down the stairs to his car, I was surprised.
"Where are we going Edward?"
"I thought we'd go out and get some Red Robin burgers? Sound okay."
"Actually yes, it sounds really good."
He laughed as he let me down by his car. "I'm not surprised. You talked about them in your sleep last night." Edward opened the door for me, giving me my favorite crooked smile. My heart still fluttered anytime he did that.
"Since I apparently need a burger, let's go." I leaned up and gave him a gentle kiss. Edward pushed me back against the car and pressed his body into mine. His lips were forceful and I moaned in response, my lips parting automatically. One of his hands curled around my neck and pulled me up to him. I reached my tongue out, stroking his lips with the tip before I ran it over the edge of his teeth. Edward sucked on my tongue for a second before he released me. I was panting as he gazed down, giving me his look. A small tremor rushed through my body.
"After we get home Bella….I want my wings."
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I'd give Edward anything he wanted, wings, a tail, horns, whatever he wanted. LOL
So.....now we have Masen. (And for anyone who has read Buried in the Begonias, yes I named him Masen partially because of that dark fanfic) This should be interesitng for the both of them. And Mimosa is preggers! For those who wanted Aston to be the daddy, sorry, he's a gelding. No more testicles for him. Horse pregnancy is 11 months, so don't expect the baby in the next few chapters or anything.
Reality is hormones, PMS, periods, and having to talk about it. Poor Bella. Wish we all had a guy as good as Edward.
Who loves Emmett??? I know I do!
Reviews give you Caringward. Your curled up under a blanket, all crampy, hormonal and feel like shit. He comes in wearing plaid flannel pajama pants, no shirt, AGAIN! (damn that man) "Oh baby, I'm so sorry you aren't feeling well. Come on, I'll feed you some chocolate ice cream and snuggle with you. Then I'll give you a neck massage." Awwwwwwww. Love him!!!